Chapter 9
#Run fast, it’s a Shipper!#
The number of Anime Club members was far fewer than Yuan Man had imagined.
A few tables and chairs were scattered around the activity classroom. All the curtains were drawn tight, making it pitch black everywhere. One could only vaguely see about a dozen girls sitting in the dark, watching the animation playing on the projection screen with rapt attention.
The anime they were watching happened to be one Yuan Man had seen. It was a soccer anime that had been very popular recently, roughly about a group of high school soccer players trapped in a prison by a mad scientist.
Yuan Man gently tugged on Xu Jingyou’s sleeve, leaning his whole body over, almost speaking into Xu Jingyou’s ear. “I really didn’t expect the girls in the Anime Club to like sports anime so much. Since they watch volleyball and soccer, presumably they’ll like basketball too!”
He laughed, the sound like a fluffy little hamster burrowing into Xu Jingyou’s ear. “Looks like I wasn’t wrong to make you prep Slam Dunk. We bet on the right topic!”
When the boy spoke, the dimple on his left cheek appeared and disappeared, carrying a bit of suppressed pride; he was truly terribly pleased with himself.
Xu Jingyou’s ear felt a bit itchy. He took a step sideways, deliberately creating distance, and his gaze shifted away in a cover-up.
Suddenly, Xu Jingyou keenly noticed something surging in the darkness—
Why was it that when Yuan Man leaned close to talk to him, the bodies of the surrounding girls all tilted toward them, and pairs of eyes became almost strabismic from side-eyeing!
And when they separated, faint sighs sounded all around?
Because Yuan Man was focused on talking and the room was too dark, he accidentally tripped over a table leg. At the critical moment, Xu Jingyou quickly supported him, preventing him from falling flat on his face.
Xu Jingyou extended his arm. “If you can’t see the way clearly, hold onto me.”
Yuan Man did have a bit of night blindness. He didn’t try to be brave and simply hooked his arm through Xu Jingyou’s.
The moment their arms touched, gazes from the darkness wrapped around them densely, and suppressed laughter surged from all directions.
Xu Jingyou pushed up his glasses, his gaze meeting those vague stares.
The girls immediately sat up straight, eyes swiveling back to the screen fast as lightning, as if nothing had happened just now.
They arrived at a corner of the classroom. The Anime Club President, Yang Meng, pulled over a chair and sat in front of them. Shaking her ponytail, she put on the airs of a president and asked with an air of seniority, “Cough cough, so… this xuedi, which class in Grade 1 are you in? What’s your name? Where did you hear about our club? Why do you want to join?”
She threw out several questions in a row. Xu Jingyou was concise: “I’m in Grade 1, Class 3. My name is Xu Jingyou. The reason for applying is simple: I like watching anime.”
Yang Meng felt his answer was too brief and was a bit dissatisfied. “You haven’t said where you heard about our club yet.”
“From Wang Shanshan!” Yuan Man answered for him. “I’m Wang Shanshan’s deskmate. She told me you were the Anime Club President, and it just so happens Xu Jingyou wanted to join the Anime Club.”
“I know you, you’re Yuan Man, right?” Yang Meng shifted her gaze to him. Her eyes shifted back and forth on their two tightly linked arms, asking tentatively, “Xu Jingyou is joining, but you aren’t? Then what are you doing here?”
“I was afraid he’d be lonely, so of course I’m accompanying him,” Yuan Man bullshitted.
“Oh~ Afraid he’d be lone~ly~” A floating smile appeared on Yang Meng’s face. The other members who were pricking up their ears to eavesdrop wore the same expression. That bizarre mirth seemed contagious, copy-pasting onto all their faces.
Xu Jingyou felt everything here was wrong. He even suspected these xuejies were secretly drinking in the club; otherwise, why did every single one of them look tipsy?
He wanted to cut the Gordian knot, so he spoke directly, “Can we start the interview now?”
“Interview. Oh, right, there’s the interview.” Yang Meng seemed to just remember. “Since you came knocking on the door yourself, it shows you already have a certain ‘understanding’ of our club. Then I won’t talk nonsense, let’s start the interview directly!”
Yuan Man’s heart lifted high, subconsciously gripping Xu Jingyou’s arm tighter. He hadn’t been this nervous even when facing the final math problem on a final exam.
God bless, please don’t let the Anime Club interview be too hard!
He was worried that Yang Meng would be too shy facing her crush (him), and would thus ask difficult questions to push him away—after all, girls were easily shy.
Yang Meng pointed at the soccer anime playing on the big screen and asked, “Our Anime Club’s main activity is watching anime. This Blue Lock is very famous right now. Student Xu, tell us what part of the bond between the male lead and his companions moves you the most.”
Xu Jingyou: “Sorry, I haven’t seen it.”
Yang Meng took out a manga book again and said, “Then what about this manga? Haikyuu!! has been hot for several years. Tell us which pair of partners you like best?”
Xu Jingyou: “Sorry, haven’t seen this either.”
Yang Meng: “…You’re here to crash the party on purpose, aren’t you?”
“No no no!” Yuan Man was afraid of ruining it and quickly explained, “You misunderstood. Xu Jingyou just isn’t interested in soccer and volleyball. He has seen basketball manga!”
Yang Meng’s eyes lit up. “Basketball?”
Yuan Man: “That’s right, that classic high school sports anime, the manga with a protagonist who has red hair!”
Yang Meng: “I know, the manga where the protagonists don’t get along at first, but finally become tacit partners and make it to the nationals!”
They spoke simultaneously—
Yuan Man: “—Slam Dunk!”
Yang Meng: “—Kuroko’s Basketball!”
Yuan Man: “…?”
Yang Meng: “…?”
Silence. Extreme silence filled the entire classroom.
Xu Jingyou also fell silent.
Although he had never heard of Blue Lock, Haikyuu!!, or Kuroko’s Basketball, he clearly sensed that Yuan Man and Yang Meng hadn’t matched their secret codes.
It couldn’t go on like this.
He couldn’t stand by and watch anymore.
He remembered why he came here—he was here to fulfill Yuan Man’s wish.
He couldn’t tolerate even a trace of disappointment on Yuan Man’s face.
Thus, Xu Jingyou spoke, breaking the silence.
“Actually, I have seen other anime.”
“?”
“?”
“I’ve also seen Crayon Shin-chan and Doraemon.”
“…”
“…”
Yuan Man: “Xu Jingyou, how about you stop talking for now?”
Unfortunately, despite Yuan Man and Xu Jingyou making full preparations, they ultimately failed to pass the Anime Club interview.
There was no helping it; Yang Meng’s interview questions were too tricky! Let alone Xu Jingyou, even if Yuan Man had to answer them himself, he wouldn’t be able to.
For example, in Kuroko’s Basketball, how many sentences did the male lead and his partner say to each other when they first met?
For example, in Haikyuu!!, where did the ace spiker and middle blocker of another team go to play together?
For example, in Blue Lock, how many times did the male lead hold hands with his teammates?
So weird, these questions.
Look at them again.
Still very weird questions.
Yuan Man thought blankly, Who on earth counts how many times the male lead and male supporting characters make eye contact or have physical contact when watching a sports anime?
This matter was also an unexpected Waterloo for Xu Jingyou. He had always taken the lead in studies since childhood, ranking first by a landslide in every exam. He didn’t expect to be defeated here, unable to pass even a small Anime Club interview.
After the interview ended, Yang Meng sent the two zero-score rascals out of the activity room, speaking regretfully. “It’s a pity Xuedi didn’t pass our club’s interview, but your courage is commendable. Here, this is fan merchandise produced by our club. Giving it to you as a souvenir.”
Xu Jingyou heard another unfamiliar term. “Fan merchandise?”
Yuan Man explained to him, “It’s anime peripherals they drew themselves.”
A gold-stamped postcard appeared in front of Xu Jingyou. He examined it carefully: The postcard featured two young people sitting opposite each other playing Go. One had short blonde-and-black hair, the other had a bob cut with straight bangs. The art style was exquisite, not looking like student work at all.
“Thank you.” Although Xu Jingyou didn’t recognize the people in the picture, he accepted it with both hands and put it away. “Which anime are these the male and female leads from? I’ll watch it when I have time.”
Yuan Man jumped up abruptly, quickly covering his mouth. “Told you to speak less! How can you not even distinguish men from women? These are both guys!! This is the male lead of Hikaru no Go and his arch-rival!”
While speaking, he looked nervously at Yang Meng, apologizing awkwardly. “Sorry, Xu Jingyou watches very little anime. He doesn’t even know such classic characters.”
“Hehehehehehe… It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” Unexpectedly, Yang Meng didn’t show a shred of anger. Instead, she was beaming, showing that strange smile again—half-smiling, half-drunk, with her eyes and brows tap-dancing.
She covered her mouth, smiling floatily. “Aiya, even people who don’t know Xiao Liang think our Xiao Liang is a pretty girl~~ Having you say that really warms this shipper’s (Momo) heart.”
Xu Jingyou: “?”
Yuan Man: “…”
The Anime Club door slowly closed. The girls returned to their happy utopia, and the two boys who accidentally intruded were expelled from their dream home.
Through the crack in the door, their happy laughter occasionally drifted out, saying incomprehensible things like “Little couple 99 (last forever)”, “Ahhh no reversing no breaking the ship ahhh”, “I want to play basketball/soccer/baseball/tennis/swim/skateboard/figure skate/run/Go/pilot Gundam with you for a lifetime.”
If Xu Jingyou wasn’t still holding that fan-art postcard Yang Meng gave him, he really would have thought the interview just now was a dream.
Beside him, the always energetic Yuan Man hung his head like a wilted sunflower, thoughts unknown.
Seeing him like this, Xu Jingyou’s heart softened. He whispered, “Xuezhang, I’m sorry. I failed your expectations and didn’t pass the Anime Club interview. If you’re angry, just scold me.”
“Xu Jingyou, what nonsense are you thinking? Why would I be angry!” Yuan Man quickly interrupted him.
There was no regret on his face about being shut out by the Anime Club, only a kind of realization after deep deliberation. “Our main goal this time wasn’t to join the Anime Club anyway, but to get close to Yang Meng and verify her identity. I can say with certainty now—she is not the person who wrote me the love letter!”
“Why?” Although Xu Jingyou already knew the answer, he was still puzzled. “How did you judge that?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Yuan Man said with conviction. “She has no interest in boys at all; she’s only interested in two boys appearing at the same time!”
“…?”
It was hard to say if Yuan Man was sharp or dense. From start to finish of this interview, he hadn’t noticed anything wrong. If Yang Meng hadn’t exposed her identity as a “shipper” with that last sentence, he really would have thought Yang Meng simply liked watching sports anime.
Thinking about it carefully, his deskmate Wang Shanshan liked matchmaking, but Wang Shanshan liked 3D celebrities, while Yang Meng only liked shipping 2D couples. Although the people they loved were in different dimensions, fujoshi helps fujoshi—it was only natural for them to be friends.
As for the Anime Club hosted by Yang Meng… Sigh! Back then, the “Brother Xun Club” could sell dog meat while hanging a sheep’s head (false advertising), moving the Lu Xun statue around every night. So why couldn’t the current “Anime Club” be composing love songs for male high schoolers?
Yuan Man thought he explained it clearly enough, yet Xu Jingyou still looked half-understanding. He pushed up his glasses, looking like he was facing a profound problem, waiting for Yuan Man to explain further.
However, looking at the xuedi’s pure (?) ignorant (?) innocent (?) face, Yuan Man simply couldn’t open his mouth.
The xuedi looked like the kind of obedient child whose brain only knew studying. He hadn’t even read a non-academic book, let alone that colorful stuff!
Yuan Man absolutely could not tell him that male-male couples existed in this world.
What if he tainted Xu Jingyou’s pure soul?
The xuedi had pale skin, a beautiful face, and long legs. If he knew that some boys liked boys, he would definitely be scared to death!
[Author’s Note] Explaining for readers who don’t watch anime at all: the several anime mentioned in this chapter are all stories about “multiple male leads,” “double male leads,” or “male lead and male supporting characters” doing sports together………… [Rainbow farts][Rainbow farts][Rainbow farts][Rainbow farts] In summary, it’s all pure brotherhood!! [Shy][Shy][Shy][Shy] Can’t scare the obedient baby xuedi [Throwing flowers]
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