After being sent to the cold palace, the emperor’s heart was burned into ashes CHAPTER 46.1

Chapter 46: Slapping Face part 1

Zhao Yiyi lowered her gaze, looking at him with a faint, inscrutable smile.

On that handsome face, usually so indifferent and coldly imposing, a look of panic had actually surfaced. Such an expression was completely incongruous with the Emperor who sat high above, looking down upon all living things.

In the past, those phoenix eyes, though gentle, always held a hidden cold arrogance. They were starkly different from how they looked today.

How to like someone? Does a person need to be taught such things?

Zhao Yiyi lowered her eyes and did not answer. After a long while, she gently shifted her gaze, glancing toward the mulberry tree outside the window.

It had rained last night. Accumulated rainwater was dripping from the mulberry leaves—drip, drop—falling onto the windowsill and the green bricks, making a crisp sound.

Hearing that sound, and then seeing her cold expression, Gu Zhen’s heart grew even more frantic. He tightened his grip on his palm, his voice deepening further. “Yiyi, from now on… will you teach me, alright?”

After a long time, the smile in Zhao Yiyi’s eyes faded bit by bit. She slowly pulled her sleeve from his hand, her brows and eyes filled with a desolate sorrow.

Like?

Does a person like him even know what ‘like’ is?

Her expression turned somewhat cold. Standing before him, she asked without joy or sorrow, “Is Your Majesty doing this because you truly like me? Or is it as you said that day at the Altar of Agriculture—that the Empress is currently competent enough, and Your Majesty has no plans to replace her?”

Gu Zhen realized then that every word he had spoken in the past had turned around to strike back at him.

He opened his mouth, wanting to say something in defense, but no sound came out.

“If it is because of that,” Zhao Yiyi straightened her slightly wrinkled sleeve, smiling, “Your Majesty can rest assured. Qieshen (This consort) will certainly do as Your Majesty wishes, strictly abiding by the duties of the Empress. I will manage the entire harem well and will certainly not give Your Majesty any cause for worry regarding the front court.”

Hearing these promises, Gu Zhen knew he should be happy.

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—But he couldn’t feel happy at all.

A dull pain suddenly rose in his chest. He gripped the armrest of the grand master’s chair tightly, as if he wanted to snap the carved sandalwood in two.

Every single word was something he had said before. She returned them all to him, stripping away any reason he had to argue.

It turned out that Yiyi had taken every word he said and every thing he did to heart.

She had remembered it all. It wasn’t that she didn’t know; she had just buried it in her heart, never speaking of it until now.

Gu Zhen gave a wretched smile. an indecipherable look appeared in his eyes as he carefully touched her hand, whispering, “Everything in the past… it was Zhen who was in the wrong.” His voice trembled. This single sentence seemed to drain much of his energy. He paused for a moment before speaking again, “Zhen knows you have been wronged these past years. It was Zhen’s negligence. It won’t happen again.”

Zhao Yiyi didn’t speak.

What ‘again’?

Nearly three years was enough for her heart to die. If anything, she blamed herself for waking up too slowly.

There is no ‘again’. A person’s life is only a few short decades. How many three-year periods did she have? How could there be so many ‘agains’? She would treat those past three years as a dream. Now that she had just awakened from the great dream, she had no desire to fall back asleep.

She smiled and said softly, “This consort accepts Your Majesty’s sentiments.”

Accepting the sentiment, meant she was unwilling to accept anything else.

Gu Zhen was stunned for a moment. A wave of coldness swept through his limbs and bones. He closed his eyes and softened his voice, “Yiyi, don’t be… so heartless to Zhen, alright? In the past, Zhen didn’t treat you well enough and didn’t take you to heart. For nearly three years, you suffered too many grievances. But…”

He suddenly couldn’t continue. He only looked at her heavily, his hands trembling slightly.

Yes, for nearly three years, he hadn’t realized his own feelings. Yet now, he suddenly told her he had fallen for her.

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Who would believe it?

Who would take it seriously?

Every bitter fruit he swallowed now was a seed he had planted with his own hands back then.

All of them.

“Zhen doesn’t understand what ‘like’ is, and doesn’t know how to like someone.” Gu Zhen’s voice carried a desolate sorrow as he slowed down to ask her, “Then teach Zhen. Zhen will learn… learn how to like someone, alright?”

In the past, he didn’t care. In his youthful arrogance, he had personally said he didn’t like the daughter of the Zhao clan. His initial attitude toward her was only impatience, his heart filled only with matters of state.

But unknowingly, she had long since broken into his heart, taken root, and sprouted, firmly stationing herself in the depths of his soul, impossible to cut away.

By the time he realized it, the roots had already burrowed deep, leaving him no peace.

He was born noble. In this life, he had made countless decisions, issued countless orders, and decreed countless edicts.

His methods had always been hard-handed. Every matter was calculated, and he had never known regret.

For over twenty years, for the first time, he began to regret.

He regretted treating her that way back then. He regretted his impatience with her that day.

He fell into an unsolvable dilemma, desperately constructing scenarios in his mind: If, on the day she asked about Zhao Weimin, I had had a better attitude, a gentler tone, and hadn’t blamed her… would everything be different?

Even knowing there is no medicine for regret in this world and time can never turn back, Gu Zhen uncontrollably imagined another outcome, sinking into a remorse he couldn’t extricate himself from.

“Yiyi,” Gu Zhen called her name again.

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A gust of wind passed, shaking the mulberry leaves, and the accumulated water droplets fell continuously. Zhao Yiyi took a half-step back and bowed in formal greeting: “Your Majesty, it is getting late. We should depart.”

A plain, simple sentence blocked all his unspoken words in his throat, leaving him unable to make any response.

Staring at her submissive and indifferent expression, Gu Zhen couldn’t help but wonder: In the past, did I treat her with this kind of attitude too?

Indifferent, unconcerned, appearing not to care.

Like a soft wall. It looked soft, but it could never be broken. Punch it, and all the force dissolves into nothing.

It could drive a person to collapse with ease.

Gu Zhen forced the corners of his lips into a smile. “Mhm, we should depart. Blame Zhen for delaying so long.” He asked again, “You are returning home today. How long will you go for? Will you stay overnight in the manor?”

Zhao Yiyi said indifferently, “There are some matters at home. This consort is going back to take a look. I presume it won’t take long.”

Gu Zhen said okay and mentioned he would send a few attendants to follow her.

Having the Emperor’s personal guards and palace attendants with her was beneficial and harmless. Zhao Yiyi didn’t refuse, only whispering her thanks.

On the way back to the capital, Zhao Yiyi rode alone in the Yandi carriage. Perhaps because she had ridden a horse for the past two days, her body had improved. She didn’t feel the nausea and churning stomach she had on the way there; she felt much more comfortable.

Along the way, Gu Zhen didn’t come to seek her out. Even when they stopped to rest, she only heard that the Emperor led people out to race horses. Not seeing him, Zhao Yiyi felt much more at ease, her whole being relaxing.

She really didn’t want to see him.

The moment they met, they would always argue. Every word pressed down on her until she couldn’t breathe, making her want to flee immediately.

When they reached Luoyang city, it was almost noon. Zhao Yiyi sent someone to inform Gu Zhen.

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Not long after, Gu Zhen sent someone to reply, permitting her to go to the Marquis Manor today, and even dispatched Wu Nan and several personal guards to accompany her.

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