Chapter 38: Out of Control
He was still approaching, gaze locked on, like scrutinizing prey with nowhere to run.
Tonight… the person who should have shared the joy with his Ge was him. But he had truly underestimated this brother of his who claimed to be straight—hugging girls on one side, then turning around to stage a scene of being inseparable with another man right under his nose. That wild man’s hand on his shoulder, that familiar posture, was like poisonous thorns piercing into Jiang Yan’s nerves, devouring his reason.
Jealousy mixed with the anger of being deceived intertwined in his body, burning him until he almost wanted to tear off his Ge’s innocent mask with his own hands to see what kind of licentiousness was hidden underneath.
What ‘liking girls’, what ‘can’t accept the same sex’—all were excuses! Jiang Yan felt only a massive sense of irony and sorrow pouring over him. Anyone could share his affection, except himself.
Why?
He had never had such patience for anyone in his life, never. Now it seemed truly laughable. Zhou Shu was right; it would be better to use force. Only then would he obediently listen.
Jiang Yunian was frightened by the hostility radiating from him. He retreated unconsciously, his calf bumping into a wooden cabinet, stumbling to steady himself. His heart couldn’t help but feel sour; Jiang Yan was the one who broke the promise first, standing him up. He hadn’t even said anything, so why was Jiang Yan acting like he was here to condemn him?
It made no sense.
But that look was truly terrifying, pressing down on him until he couldn’t breathe. Let alone getting angry, even words of confrontation were stuck softly in his throat, turning into a puddle of water swallowed silently. Tonight’s Jiang Yan was a bit abnormal, making him faintly uneasy, wanting only to leave this suffocating darkness quickly.
“Didn’t go anywhere… just walked around randomly.” Jiang Yunian’s voice was weak; dropping that sentence, he tried to bypass Jiang Yan to return to his room.
This evasive action aroused the other’s extreme dissatisfaction.
Jiang Yunian only saw a blur before his arm was seized by a powerful force. The world spun, and the back of his head jerked back, but the expected impact with the hard wall was replaced by a broad palm. Jiang Yan trapped him between the wall and his scorching chest. The shadow pressed down darkly, completely enveloping him. He lowered his head, eyes slightly drooped, nose tips almost touching.
“Why are you hiding?”
Every word seemed squeezed out through gritted teeth, madness repressed to the limit. “You don’t want to be with me that much?”
“Then who do you want?”
Tao Jingxuan? Or that man who hypocritically asked if he was cold?
If he dared to say that name, Jiang Yan had no doubt he would lose control on the spot and forcibly make him his.
The distance was too close, close enough for Jiang Yunian to clearly see the red blood vessels in his eyes and feel the power poised to strike within his body. His eyelashes couldn’t help trembling. He didn’t know what madness Jiang Yan was suddenly suffering from; this version of him was exceptionally creepy. He reached out to press against the other’s shoulder, trying to create a tiny bit of distance. “No, not hiding, I’m just a little tired. Let go first… okay?”
Even at a time like this, he resisted him in every way.
“Ge, you’re really not behaving.”
He desired him so much, thinking of him every night until he burned, yet Jiang Yunian only wanted to push him away. Truly too disobedient.
The last remaining reason in his brain was swallowed by the raging fire of jealousy. Facing those eyes written full of rejection, that face he thought about day and night, the final string of restraint snapped with a ping.
Seeing Jiang Yan lean in, Jiang Yunian’s pupils constricted slightly. That undisguised predatory intent made his hair stand on end. Not knowing where the strength came from, just before the other could do something irreversible, he shoved him away violently.
“A-Yan… You, calm down!”
In the darkness, Jiang Yan was caught off guard by this full-force shove, stumbling backward defenselessly, nearly hitting the wall. He stood still, a trace of confusion staining his brow, seeming not to have expected his Ge to get physical with him at all. In those eyes that had just been burning with mad desire, only astonishment remained for an instant.
“You pushed me?”
“No, I didn’t mean to, don’t be like this…” This was too wrong. Jiang Yunian instinctively sought self-preservation, seizing this brief gap to turn and run. While Jiang Yan was dazed, the door slammed shut with a “bang” right before his eyes.
The world was abruptly cut off, along with that suffocating darkness and that out-of-control younger brother.
Jiang Yan stood in place like a frozen statue. After a brief silence, he reached out, his broad palm pounding on the cold door panel—not heavily, but the veins on his hand bulged, trying to push a door that would never open.
“Open the door.”
After a while, a cautious reply came from inside, so faint by the end it was almost inaudible.
“You… you’ve got the wrong person… this is wrong.”
The hand pressing forcefully on the door finally dropped weakly.
Jiang Yan’s ink-black pupils merged with the darkness, staring gloomily at the door separating them.
Ge, I gave you a chance.
You forced me.
A silent declaration echoed in the dead silence. This time, he wouldn’t just use force; he would make him… open this door willingly.
Inside the room.
Jiang Yunian leaned back against the door panel. Hearing the footsteps outside fade away, his body slid down limply to sit. His mind, which had just calmed down with difficulty, was in turmoil again. He clutched his chest tightly, trying to press down his wildly beating heart.
What was wrong with Jiang Yan tonight?
Just now… did he want to force a kiss?
This thought wrapped around his heart like a poisonous snake, stirring waves of lingering fear.
Fortunately, he didn’t let him do anything irreversible. Otherwise, he really wouldn’t know how to face Jiang Yan, and feared even more that they wouldn’t even be able to be brothers.
This was too terrifying.
He leaned his head back, his body trembling slightly. Only when the chill was dispelled by the warmth of the room did he gradually recover a bit of strength.
That night, Jiang Yunian curled up in bed, sleeping very restlessly. There was no more movement outside the door, but the invisible pressure seemed to penetrate the wood to oppress him.
Dawn broke slightly, the morning light struggling to squeeze in through the curtain gap.
Jiang Yunian almost pricked up his ears, listening carefully to the movement outside. He waited for half an hour before slowly unlocking the door.
Half a fuzzy head peeked out quietly, glancing at Jiang Yan’s door, finding it already open. He scanned the empty living room and kitchen, only relaxing and walking out after confirming the person was gone.
Passing the kitchen, he habitually looked at the dining table. A simple breakfast was laid out there: an egg fried with slightly burnt edges, two slices of toast baked soft, and a glass of hot milk beside it. A note was pressed underneath.
The handwriting was the same, strokes sharp, slightly scribbled:
Sorry, drank too much last night.
Remember to eat breakfast.
Jiang Yan lied.
They were so close last night, yet he hadn’t smelled a trace of alcohol.
Did he regret it? Regretting treating him “like that.”
Jiang Yunian looked at this line of words, and the heart that had been suspended all night temporarily settled back down.
This was good too; it saved the awkwardness when they met.
Faced with such a forceful Jiang Yan, he didn’t think he could handle it a second time.
In the evening, during a slightly dull public lecture, the teacher allowed the students to study on their own after finishing the lesson. The classroom gradually quieted down, with only the occasional sound of turning pages.
Jiang Yunian sat there, intending to preview tomorrow’s lesson, when his phone suddenly vibrated.
He Qing had sent a WeChat message. It was photos taken at the award ceremony—some solo shots of him, and some group photos with school leaders.
[He Qing: That’s all of them. The others are on the school’s official Weibo, find them yourself.]
[Nian Nian You Yu (Year after Year of Abundance): Okay, thanks.]
Because of some unfriendly public opinion before, he hadn’t logged into Weibo for a long time. Jiang Yunian saved some photos of himself from the school’s official blog. In the past, he would share happy events, but this time he couldn’t work up the interest.
Bored, he looked through his previous posts. The comments were still the same. He clicked on his private messages, which had gathered dust. He didn’t check DMs often; he would take a look when extremely bored, but rarely replied.
Except for that girl named “LG” from before. But the other party always said nonsensical things. He felt it wasn’t normal, so he stopped replying much later on.
After disappearing for so long, he guessed LG had forgotten him. However, contrary to expectations, LG’s avatar was bumped to the very top of the DM interface. The red dot count was in the double digits, the latest one from last night.
Jiang Yunian looked at the ambiguous sentence exposed on the preview, a look of confusion appearing on his face.
[LG: Is it that anyone will do, only I can’t?]
With so many unread messages, he couldn’t help his curiosity and clicked in.
The moment he clicked in, a string of “Wifey” came into view. Almost every message was addressed that way, causing his pupils to constrict slightly.
[LG: Ignoring me again?]
…
[LG: Wifey is so obedient, so white and soft]
[LG: Making me feel so good]
…
[LG: Want to do it every day]
…
[LG: Except for me, you’re not allowed to look at other people’s naked bodies]
[LG: Not men or women]
…
[LG: Can’t touch, enduring so hard (grievance)]
[LG: Want to eat Wifey’s mouth]
…
[LG: What’s so good about her?]
[LG: Clearly I’m the one who likes Wifey the most]
[LG: Not allowed to be with her, do you hear me? Or else I’ll go crazy]
…
[LG: Don’t like her, like me okay?]
…
Last night 23:45
[LG: Is it that anyone will do, only I can’t?]
Spouting things he couldn’t understand again, line after line, like a beast in heat—explicit and blunt. Reading through the screen, Jiang Yunian’s face grew hotter and hotter. Is there something mentally wrong with this person?
He suddenly regretted chatting so much back then.
Reading down the list, stopping at this last sentence, Jiang Yunian frowned slightly. This feeling of being the object of excessive fantasy made him uncomfortable all over.
He should have pretended not to see it and blocked the person directly, but his hand typed on the keyboard involuntarily.
[Nian Nian You Yu: What do you mean?]
[Nian Nian You Yu: Did you send this to the wrong person?]
The other party seemed to be camping out 24 hours a day, replying almost immediately.
[LG: What? Guilty because I hit the mark?]
[LG: Mouth says you only like girls, but behind the scenes you hook up with wild men. Wifey is a liar who says one thing and means another.]
[LG: Since anyone will do, why can’t I?]
Jiang Yunian’s eyes widened, shocked until his tongue trembled. He had never even been in a relationship, let alone messed around with men. What kind of person did she think he was?
[Nian Nian You Yu: I don’t even know you, what right do you have to say this?]
Slander requires evidence.
This time, the other party didn’t reply immediately. Thinking about it, they couldn’t produce evidence; he didn’t know her at all. But for some reason, seeing the hatred revealed between the lines, Jiang Yunian felt uneasy. Why would she say this? Did he provoke someone?
In the interval of waiting for a message, he read through those messages again, trying to find clues.
But a pile of disjointed information mixed together made it hard to distinguish the other’s identity and intent for a moment.
Sliding to the bottom, a new message popped up just then. This look nearly scared his soul away.
The other party sent three photos: one was of him and Tao Jingxuan waiting for the elevator at the mall previously, looking like they were holding hands from this angle; one was him holding Tao Jingxuan on the way to the infirmary on the award night; and the last one was the scene from last night where the Senior took him for a joyride, and he was hugging the other tightly.
Each one looked extremely ambiguous, as if deliberately taken to invite imagination.
[LG: Does Wifey know how much I want to make them disappear when I see these?]
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