Chapter 62: Deposed Prince’s Regret
But seeing that Chu Ziqian had quickly knocked his head until it bled, Chu Lianmo felt a pang of compassion. “Go.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty!” Chu Ziqian knocked his head heavily once more.
Afterward, he finally got his wish to see Wen Yingying, whose body was already cold.
Chu Ziqian, who had always hidden his emotions in front of others, now cried aloud like a child while holding Wen Yingying’s corpse.
He didn’t know how long he cried, only that his voice had long become hoarse.
At some point, Jiang Yingnan arrived.
“Ziqian, don’t be like this…” Jiang Yingnan walked forward with teary eyes. “Your mother’s spirit in heaven would be very worried seeing you like this.”
“Ah Nan, Ah Nan…!” Chu Ziqian turned and hugged Jiang Yingnan tightly, sobbing. “To Father Emperor, I am already an abandoned son. Now Mother Empress is gone too. I only have you… In this world, I only have you left…”
Jiang Yingnan felt incredibly sad hearing this and could only keep comforting him gently.
Neither of them knew that behind a nearby bush, Chu Lianmo was silently watching this scene.
Seeing the usually cold and hard Chu Ziqian reveal such a fragile side, scenes from his childhood involuntarily floated into his mind.
At that time, he was three, and Chu Ziqian was nine.
Three-year-old Chu Lianmo didn’t understand the conflicts of interest between adults. He ran happily to Chu Ziqian with a ball, smiling sweetly, and said in a clear, childish voice, “Big Brother, play ball with me!”
“…” Looking at his younger brother’s round, chubby, and cute face, Chu Ziqian almost reached out to take it.
But Wen Yingying suddenly rushed over and yanked Chu Ziqian’s arm. “Play what? Have you finished your homework?”
“…Mother Empress is right to scold me. Your son will go do homework right now.”
After respectfully sending Wen Yingying off, Chu Ziqian looked at Chu Lianmo coldly. “Gu (I/The Crown Prince) is the Crown Prince, busy with many things. I cannot play with you.”
With that, Chu Ziqian turned and walked away without looking back.
Chu Lianmo stared blankly at his back. Although he was young, he could feel he had been rejected.
From then on, he never sought Chu Ziqian to play again.
Recalling these distant past events, Chu Lianmo suddenly felt that if not for the hatred of their elders standing between them, might they have been brothers with a harmonious relationship?
“Eldest Imperial Brother,” Chu Lianmo suddenly walked towards Chu Ziqian and said. “Tell me, if we had played ball together that day, what would the ending have been?”
“…!” Hearing Chu Lianmo’s words, Chu Ziqian trembled violently. “You… you still remember that?”
For a three-year-old child, most things fade from memory.
But nine-year-old Chu Ziqian naturally remembered it more clearly.
He would never forget that after returning that day, he was severely beaten by his mother. Wen Yingying whipped him with a ruler while saying fiercely, “De’er is your legitimate younger brother. In the future, you are only allowed to play with him, not with those bastards. Do you remember?!”
“Your son remembers,” Chu Ziqian answered, kneeling on the ground, enduring the pain with teary eyes.
So from then on, Chu Ziqian could only play with Chu Weide.
Only, he had discovered even then that Chu Weide was a clumsy martial artist. Many things couldn’t be communicated smoothly with him.
Chu Lianmo, on the other hand, was intelligent from childhood, skilled in both literature and martial arts.
Among his many siblings, the only person Chu Ziqian ever considered a rival was Chu Lianmo.
Perhaps, they could have been good brothers who appreciated each other.
“There are no ‘ifs’ in this world.” Suppressing the myriad thoughts in his heart, Chu Ziqian finally replied coldly.
Things between the brothers had reached this point; everything was irreversible, and there was no meaning in making assumptions anymore.
“Your Majesty, how do you intend to bury Caomin‘s mother?” Chu Ziqian changed the topic. As soon as he saw Chu Lianmo appear, he quickly put away the tears on his face. He didn’t want to lose face in front of Chu Lianmo at any time.
Chu Lianmo also returned to a cold expression. “Bury her in the Imperial Concubine Mausoleum according to the rites for a concubine.”
“…Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Although entering the Imperial Concubine Mausoleum meant she could not be buried with Emperor Chu Wen after death, the fact that Chu Lianmo didn’t say she would be thrown into a mass grave was already the greatest mercy towards Wen Yingying.
In fact, Chu Lianmo had been lenient enough with the Wen family, even giving Wen Yuanru a minor official position.
After giving thanks, Chu Ziqian took Jiang Yingnan’s hand, left the palace, and boarded the carriage back to the Jiang Residence.
In the carriage, Chu Ziqian gazed out the window and suddenly murmured, “Actually, I knew from very early on that Mother hated Xu Ruliang and Chu Lianmo to the bone…”
The topic Chu Lianmo brought up was not without ripples in Chu Ziqian’s heart. He just didn’t want to say these words in front of Chu Lianmo.
“Mother always smiled kindly at outsiders, but she was always very strict with me. Only when I surpassed Chu Lianmo in some aspect would a trace of a smile appear on her face.
“So, from that time on, I deeply remembered that only by being enemies with Chu Lianmo would Mother love me.”
“Ziqian…” Jiang Yingnan didn’t know what words to respond with for a moment. He could only hold Chu Ziqian’s hand tightly, hoping to bring him some warmth with his body temperature.
“…Sigh, never mind.” Chu Ziqian let out a long sigh. “There is no point in saying this now. Ah Nan, I know your relationship with Chu Lianmo is good now, but don’t mention this to him.”
Jiang Yingnan smiled bitterly. “Do I look like a gossip? However, you should stop calling the Emperor by his name. It’s not just the two of us here.” As he spoke, he glanced at the coachman driving in front.
The coachman was so scared his hand holding the reins shook. “Young Master, this slave is loyal to you; how could I gossip outside!”
Jiang Yingnan laughed. “Don’t be nervous, don’t be nervous. I was just saying.”
Chu Ziqian also smiled. “I was just being casual because I saw only your Jiang family servants were present. Don’t worry, I know my limits.”
After that, the two did not mention Chu Lianmo again.
Jiang Yingnan knew he still harbored unwillingness in his heart towards Chu Lianmo, which was why he was unwilling to call him “Your Majesty.” This emotion would likely be difficult to completely eliminate in this lifetime, but as long as he could behave himself, his future days could be stable and smooth.
“Ziqian, go back to your room and rest first,” Jiang Yingnan said after stepping into the gate of the Jiang Residence. “I have something to do; I’ll be back in a while.”
Chu Ziqian was startled. “It’s so late; what do you have to do? Are your official duties that busy?”
“Not really…” Jiang Yingnan hesitated.
Chu Ziqian frowned slightly. “Ah Nan, are you hiding something from me?”
“…I didn’t mean to hide it from you. It’s just that your mood is already heavy today, and I didn’t want you to encounter that aspect of things.”
“So you were thinking of me.” Chu Ziqian’s tone softened. “Ah Nan, don’t worry. I’m not that fragile. I want to know everything related to you.”
“Sigh, strictly speaking, this isn’t really related to me, but related to you… Alright, I’ll take you there.”
Subsequently, Jiang Yingnan led Chu Ziqian to a guest room in a side courtyard of the Jiang Residence.
An old granny with white hair lived in the guest room.
Seeing Jiang Yingnan appear, she immediately welcomed him happily. “Grandson, you’re here!”
“Hello, Grandma.” Jiang Yingnan greeted her with a sweet smile.
“Grandson?” Chu Ziqian couldn’t help but be stunned. “Ah Nan, is this your grandmother? Didn’t you say your grandparents passed away?”
“This is,” Jiang Yingnan lowered his voice—luckily the old granny was dim-sighted and hard of hearing, so she shouldn’t hear clearly what they were saying—”a villager from Moshui Village.”
“…!” Hearing the words “Moshui Village,” Chu Ziqian’s heart gave a violent shudder.
Jiang Yingnan continued to explain to him, “Many survivors from Moshui Village were left helpless and homeless. The Emperor came up with a way for officials with means to take a villager back to care for. I responded to the Emperor’s call and brought this granny back.”
“Then why does she call you Grandson?”
“Sigh…” Jiang Yingnan sighed lightly. “This grandma is really pitiful… Her son, daughter-in-law, and grandson all drowned in the flood. Her mind became muddled because of it, and she mistook me for her grandson.”
“I see.” Chu Ziqian nodded with a heavy expression.
“Grandson, look at these shoes.” The old granny picked up a pair of half-sewn cloth shoes with trembling hands. “They should be finished in a couple of days.”
“Thank you, Grandma.” Jiang Yingnan felt warmth in his heart, his eyes reddening with emotion. He raised his voice. “Your eyes aren’t good; why sew shoes day and night? It will hurt your eyes even more.”
“I’m happy to make shoes for my grandson,” the old granny replied with a chuckle.
Jiang Yingnan looked at Chu Ziqian with mixed feelings and lowered his voice again. “Ziqian, actually I often think, rather than me taking care of her, her existence brings me great warmth. Like you, I rarely felt warmth from women since childhood. So now, no matter how late I come back, I visit her before going back to my room.”
“…I understand.” For a moment, love for Jiang Yingnan and remorse for his own actions intertwined in Chu Ziqian’s heart, making his mood very complex.
“Grandson, who is this?” The old granny suddenly looked at Chu Ziqian.
Jiang Yingnan froze, then said, “His name is Chu Munan. He is my friend.”
“You two look like you have a good relationship.” Although the old granny’s eyes were dim, her insight in some aspects was surprisingly sharp. She affectionately took Chu Ziqian’s hand. “Someone important to my grandson is important to me. I’ll make you a pair of shoes another day too.”
“…I am unworthy.”
Chu Ziqian was truly ashamed at this moment.
If the old granny knew her whole family had died because of him, she would probably wish she could stab him full of holes with her needle.
The old granny, however, thought he was being modest and continued to chuckle.
“Ah Nan, I’ll go back to the room first.” Chu Ziqian really couldn’t control the expression on his face perfectly anymore.
“Then I’ll go with you. Grandma, I’ll come see you tomorrow.”
“Good, good.” The old granny nodded repeatedly with a smile.
Back in the room, Chu Ziqian couldn’t help sitting on the edge of the bed, covering his face, and sobbing softly. “Everyone thinks I am despicable and hard-hearted. Actually, these days, I often dream of those dead villagers in my nightmares… I really didn’t want things to turn out like this back then!”
“I understand. I understand it all.” Jiang Yingnan hugged Chu Ziqian gently from behind.
“The years when Xu Ruliang and Chu Lianmo fell out of favor were originally the most relaxed and happy years of my life…”
And it was during those days that Chu Ziqian and Jiang Yingnan were affectionate every day. Jiang Yingnan could ask for the stars in the sky, and Chu Ziqian would try to pluck them for him.
When they first met, Jiang Yingnan gave Chu Ziqian the impression of being gentle and cultivated, but as they got to know each other, Jiang Yingnan began to reveal his willful side.
It is impossible for a person to have no temper with everyone. Moreover, Jiang Yingnan lacked security inside; he wanted to verify Chu Ziqian’s love for him.
“Ziqian, I like eating pastries from Liufang Zhai, but every time I have to queue for a long time to buy them.”
Chu Ziqian smiled. “Just tell a servant to queue, won’t that do?”
“No. I want you to go buy them.”
Chu Ziqian was stunned for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, Gu will go buy them for you.”
Then, the dignified Crown Prince of a country really went incognito to queue at the pastry shop under the scorching sun. If the owner of Liufang Zhai knew, he would probably have been scared to death.
When Jiang Yingnan ate the sweet peach blossom pastry served by Chu Ziqian personally, his heart melted with sweetness.
From then on, Jiang Yingnan decided to accompany this man for the rest of his life.
Until later, Jiang Yingnan had to admit that when circumstances were smooth, Chu Ziqian could be called a perfect man, a perfect partner.
But, he gradually changed.
That was because…
“Later, Chu Lianmo suddenly went to the border and established military merits, regaining Father Emperor’s trust! I was really annoyed during that time. I didn’t know why his long-dead ashes had to reignite!
“It was under these circumstances that I had to secretly recruit soldiers and buy horses to prevent Father Emperor from deposing me and establishing him.
“However, I didn’t have enough funds. So I had to take a risk, choosing to sell offices and swap the dam materials.”
“But Ziqian,” Jiang Yingnan smiled bitterly hearing this. “Have you ever thought about a question?”
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