Chapter 50: He Was Wrong part 1
The spring night was long, filled with the chirping of birds. Zhao Yiyi had sensed the Emperor’s presence from the moment he entered.
She had been sleeping in a daze and initially assumed the person entering was Yunzhu. It was only when she opened her sleepy eyes that she realized it was the Emperor. She had thought he would leave before long, so she closed her eyes and endured it for a while, but he made no move to depart.
“If Your Majesty is not here to find fault with me, then what are you here for?” Zhao Yiyi leaned diagonally against the hidden pillow at the head of the bed, looking at him with a brimming smile through the layer of mermaid silk curtains.
With the beauty by his side, surrounded by a faint fragrance like orchid and musk, Gu Zhen’s heartbeat accelerated slightly.
He was about to lift the bed curtains, but his hand was immediately pinned down.
Zhao Yiyi tilted her head to look at him, her eyes holding a smile as she gazed: “Your Majesty?”
A trace of bitterness flashed across Gu Zhen’s heart, and he whispered, “Yiyi, in your heart, am I… truly this heartless?”
A light laugh came from beside his ear. The beauty inside the curtains turned her head to gaze at him, a smile congealing on her lips, her voice as gentle and slow as flowing clouds under the moon: “Hmm? Aren’t you?”
She immediately retracted the smile on her face, adjusted her expression slightly, and said respectfully, “That is this consort’s fault for misunderstanding Your Majesty. I hope Your Majesty will not blame me.”
Every word and every sentence was laced with a sarcastic tone, turning into sharp blades that stabbed fiercely into his heart.
“Yiyi…” Gu Zhen’s expression shifted. His breathing became erratic, short and then long. His face, usually peerlessly handsome, was now dyed with a touch of sorrow.
He lowered his head, seeming somewhat dejected, and said softly, ” Zhen came over just to look at you. I have no other intentions.”
Zhao Yiyi, however, was somewhat surprised.
She had drastically reorganized the palace officials today. This matter must have been known throughout the palace, whether in Wanchun Palace or Zichen Palace; even without specifically inquiring, one would inevitably have heard of it.
According to common sense, he should have come to reprimand her for making trouble. How could he…
Turning her eyes to look at the man with sword-like brows and phoenix eyes, the emotions in Zhao Yiyi’s eyes were slightly complicated. Her hand unconsciously tightened around the gilt sachet with spring bird patterns inside the brocade quilt, gripping that small sachet in her palm with increasing strength.
“Yiyi, Zhen did not want to punish you, nor did I intend to question you for a crime.” Gu Zhen pulled the corners of his lips into a smile—a smile that looked ugly no matter how one looked at it. “The palace officials were disrespectful to you and acted privately behind your back; they deserve to be punished. Merely stripping them of their positions is truly too light.”
Zhao Yiyi rested her chin in her hand, tilting her head to look at him: “Then, in Your Majesty’s opinion?”
Gu Zhen said, “For subordinates offending their superiors, deceiving those above and hiding things from those below, and speaking defiantly, they naturally should be subjected to the rod and then exiled to the traveling palace.”
“So that’s how it is.” Zhao Yiyi nodded as if suddenly enlightened, and said warmly, “Since Your Majesty has said so, shall this consort act according to your instructions?”
Gu Zhen naturally heard that she was using him as a shield, but he didn’t get angry. Instead, the wound in his heart was soothed slightly, and he couldn’t help but chuckle lightly: “Mn, you can dispose of them however you wish.”
Zhao Yiyi shook her head: “That won’t do. This consort has just acquired a reputation for being vicious. If I punish them heavily on this matter as well, it will inevitably raise suspicions of mistreating palace servants. If the court historian records another mark against me, and it is passed down to future generations, wouldn’t this consort be unable to wash herself clean even if I jumped into the Yellow River?”
Her eyes held a smile, and her voice was full of lightness, as if she didn’t take it to heart at all. Even the tone in which she said these words carried a smile.
But Gu Zhen couldn’t smile.
He knew what that “vicious reputation” referred to.
It was He Xunling’s kneeling outside Jiao Fang Palace that day. Although it hadn’t caused a storm all over the city, it had spread faintly in private.
Although the palace rules were strict, the palace servants were extremely bored and couldn’t help but gossip in secret.
This matter had all started because of him.
If even a word or two of these rumors spread out, it would be of no benefit to her.
Not keeping concubines all these years was because he found concubines troublesome. Just the Empress alone was enough for him to handle; women were far less important to him than government affairs.
Yet, it caused her to bear the false name of being jealous.
They had been married for nearly three years. He truly owed her too much.
“Yiyi, I’m sorry…” Gu Zhen lowered his head and said in a hoarse voice, his fingertips trembling as he gripped the mermaid silk curtains. “I’m sorry…”
Zhao Yiyi did not look at him. Instead, she looked past the top of his head, past the standing screen with twisting branches and tie-dyed patterns set up outside, and glanced out the window, as if seeing the crescent moon of this night.
Flowing clouds drifted beneath the hook of the moon, and countless sparkling stars shone brilliantly, scattering their light across the vast Ziwei Palace.
No candles were lit in the hall, yet because of the starlight, it didn’t feel dim or lightless at all.
“Yiyi.” Gu Zhen was cautious, trying to take her hand. “Don’t be angry with Zhen anymore, alright? Regarding the past, it was all Zhen’s fault. Zhen will keep you in mind from now on and will definitely not let you suffer these grievances again.”
Zhao Yiyi slowly withdrew her gaze, looked at him with a smile, and nodded lightly: “Then this consort thanks Your Majesty.”
She no longer threw tantrums, nor did she have any conflicting opinions with him. She was always obedient and well-behaved, agreeing to his words warmly.
But this only made Gu Zhen feel more panicked.
He panicked so much that he held her hand tightly and said with a trembling voice, “Yiyi, in the past, Zhen didn’t know you had suffered so many grievances. In the future, it won’t happen. It will never happen again.”
He spoke these words of assurance in a deep voice, but they only elicited a soft smile from her.
His Yiyi was drifting further and further away from him, so far away that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how careful he was, he couldn’t hold onto her.
Even if he barely reached her, there was no way to make her stay for long; she would soon slip away from his hands.
Gu Zhen couldn’t help but give a bitter laugh, exerting slight force as he held her hand, as if trying to grasp her firmly in his palm for fear of losing her: “Yiyi, Zhen has fallen for you. But Zhen has fallen for you… Zhen did wrong things in the past, don’t…”
His voice carried a tremor, and even more panic and helplessness, as if afraid she would leave right then and there, eagerly expressing his own feelings.
Listening to the chirping of birds outside the window, Zhao Yiyi stared blankly at the top of the bed curtains. Her jade-like face was hidden within the curtains, covered with a layer of faint, soft light.
“But… not all liking receives a response,” she said, leaning lightly against the hidden pillow, her voice as ethereal and elusive as curling mist.
Gu Zhen’s eyes suddenly turned bloodshot. He gripped her hard, refusing to let go even a little: “Yiyi.”
Zhao Yiyi came back to her senses, turned her head to smile at him, and said softly, “This principle, this consort actually learned from Your Majesty.”
Reason collapsed inch by inch. The last support in Gu Zhen’s heart was completely crushed. He held her hand, on the verge of breaking down: “Yiyi… I’m sorry… Zhen was wrong… about those things in the past, Zhen was wrong.”
“You can do whatever you want. Zhen only begs you… begs you not to be angry anymore.”
He used the word “beg.”
Zhao Yiyi’s face was numb. She discovered with odd surprise that there was not a single ripple of emotion in her heart.
Three years.
It had been nearly three years.
She had exhausted countless methods, yet she couldn’t make him turn his head to look at her once, nor could she make him like her even a little bit.
Yet, when she had resolved to let go with a heart full of disappointment and steadfastly guarded her own heart, he said—he said he liked her, and even used such words.
But she only had one heart.
Long ago, under that pear tree, she had already given it away.
She didn’t know what to do to grow another one.
“Does Your Majesty really like this consort?” she asked softly.
Gu Zhen nodded, his voice hoarse: “Like… yes.”
Zhao Yiyi smiled, toying with the balsam-dyed nails on her fingertips: “Could Your Majesty teach this consort? You haven’t liked me for so many years, so how did you come to like this consort in a single night? That heart of Your Majesty’s, how exactly did it grow so fast?”
Gu Zhen lost his words for a moment: ” Zhen…”
His expression was somewhat dazed, and caught off guard, he remembered the past.
That day boating on the Taiye Pool, she had fallen asleep on the boat.
When the boat docked, he waited for a short while, but she still hadn’t woken up.
On the surface, he had waited somewhat impatiently, appearing anxious, and finally carried her back to Jiao Fang Palace with a look of annoyance.
Feeling somewhat embarrassed, he had even instructed the palace servants not to tell her about it.
But at that time, he actually wasn’t impatient, nor was he overly anxious; he was merely a little helpless. Yet, because of his dislike for the Empress, he had subconsciously adopted an attitude of impatience.
Looking back, he was stunned to realize that every bit of his time with the Empress had actually long been firmly engraved in his heart.
It turned out that, without him knowing, Yiyi had already quietly broken into his heart.
But not only did he not know, he was as bad to her as ever, as atrocious as ever, and as indifferent as ever.
Closing his eyes, Gu Zhen hid the pain in them and whispered, ” Zhen…”
Should he say he had liked her for a long time?
But given how he treated her in the past, even if he said it, who would believe him?
Even if she believed it, it would only seem incomparably ridiculous, incomparably repulsive.
Who would treat the person they liked like that?
In this world, probably only him?
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