Chapter 40: Sharing a Bed — “That posture affects my performance”
Click.
The door shut, and the air in the room settled into silence.
“Aren’t you going to feed me?”
The person on the bed leaned halfway against the headboard, looking over lazily.
Lu Xunye followed his gaze down to the porridge in his hand and paused for a moment. “Oh, right.”
Watching the bowl being shoved unceremoniously in front of his face, Shen Yunqian let out a heavy breath. He looked up, his eyes filled with confusion.
However, the words that came out of his mouth were sharp enough to feel inexplicably familiar to Lu Xunye: “Are you an idiot?”
Lu Xunye glanced at the IV drip stand beside the bed out of the corner of his eye and muttered inwardly: Didn’t he eat like this in the hospital before?
Every time, even with an IV drip in one hand, Shen Yunqian would always eat by himself before Lu Xunye could help. Lu Xunye had assumed the man just didn’t like being fed.
He couldn’t figure him out.
Lu Xunye asked tentatively, “Shall I feed you?”
After a long while, a quick and light “Mhm” drifted from the other person’s throat. If one didn’t listen carefully, it would have been missed entirely.
It took Lu Xunye a second of sluggish processing to realize this was Shen Yunqian’s reply.
Seeing his awkward temperament, the man’s well-intentioned advice from earlier—‘coax him more’—suddenly echoed in Lu Xunye’s ears like a ghostly reminder.
Thinking of this, he shuddered and pressed his temples to dispel the ridiculous thought: What the hell is that?
He pulled up a stool and sat by the bed. The spoon stirred the minced meat and vegetable porridge in the bowl, the savory aroma drifting between them accompanied by the crisp sound of the porcelain spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl.
Lu Xunye scooped up a spoonful, scraped the rice grains from the bottom of the spoon against the edge of the bowl, and brought it to Shen Yunqian’s lips.
Shen Yunqian lowered his gaze and was just about to open his mouth when the food was pulled back.
“…” He closed his mouth awkwardly. Opposite him, Lu Xunye retracted his hand, blew on the spoon, and extended it again.
Shen Yunqian’s gaze traveled from the spoon, up the arm holding it, and landed on Lu Xunye.
Lu Xunye, oblivious to everything, met his inquiring gaze and explained concisely, “It’s hot.”
Shen Yunqian: “…”
After managing to feed him half a bowl with great difficulty, Lu Xunye’s patience with the IV tube in front of him had completely worn thin.
In this room, the inner side of the bed was pressed against the wall, and Shen Yunqian’s IV hand was the one on the outer edge. Therefore, the transparent tube would sway and assert its existence every time Shen Yunqian moved even slightly.
Lu Xunye fumed silently and lifted his butt off the stool. “Wait a second, I’m changing positions.”
Shen Yunqian was startled by his sudden rise. “?”
Lu Xunye kicked off his slippers, lifted his leg, and climbed onto the bed, his tall figure straddling over Shen Yunqian.
Shen Yunqian’s heart skipped a beat. He clutched the quilt tightly and looked away.
Lu Xunye circled to the inner side of the bed and sat down cross-legged, causing the mattress to bounce.
This bounce cooled his impulsive thinking. A beat too late, he realized his actions might have been presumptuous.
Just as he was about to defend himself, he remembered that in the other’s eyes, he was his boyfriend. Being too conflicted might blow his cover.
So, he tried to remain calm. “I didn’t like that posture. It really affects my performance.”
He didn’t know if it was an illusion, but Lu Xunye felt that after he said those words, the look Shen Yunqian gave him was a mix of indescribable complexity and weirdness.
After feeding a few more spoonfuls, Lu Xunye curled his lips in satisfaction. This direction is much more comfortable.
He continued to feed him. When the food reached his mouth, Shen Yunqian turned his face away. “I can’t eat anymore.”
Hearing this, Lu Xunye looked at the bowl, which still had a quarter of the porridge left. He frowned, curious. “How did you grow so big eating so little?”
Shen Yunqian: “I’ve been hungry for a long time, so I can’t eat too much at once. My… stomach isn’t very good.”
This bizarre experience almost made Lu Xunye forget that the person in front of him was the tragic protagonist of an angst novel who had experienced the ruin of his family and endured repeated torture.
It had only been two years since he escaped from Si Jinyan. During that time, he was constantly humiliated, beaten, and scolded. He probably hadn’t even had a full night’s sleep, so how could his health be any good?
The hand holding the spoon stiffened. Lu Xunye swallowed the persuasive words on the tip of his tongue. “I’ll go wash the bowl.”
He got out of bed in silence. Just as his hand touched the doorknob, a soft voice sounded from behind him.
“It was delicious.”
Lu Xunye, preoccupied with heavy thoughts, responded randomly, only to find the door was locked.
The image of the couple exchanging glances flashed through his mind.
Lu Xunye: “…”
Ha, just great.
Shen Yunqian watched him return without asking any questions. Then, he saw Lu Xunye take the bowl and walk straight into the bathroom.
Inside the bathroom.
Lu Xunye stood in front of the tap, looking at the leftover rice in the bowl, then at the sink and the trash can at his feet.
After thinking for a moment, he bent down and tilted the bowl. Just as the thick porridge was about to flow out, the young man’s praise echoed in his heart. His hand shook, and he leveled the bowl again.
Forget it, let’s not waste it.
The leftovers that should have been dumped into the trash can were stuffed into Lu Xunye’s mouth. It was a bit cold. He raised his eyebrows: Seems… it actually is pretty good?
Did Shen Yunqian know he made this porridge?
How did he taste it?
Groping through a childhood of erratic meals, Lu Xunye had learned to cook very early on. After growing up, he had also worked part-time in several restaurants.
But to him, it tasted just okay. Nothing special.
Did he actually have the talent to be a master chef?
Shen Yunqian was wearing the owner’s old clothes. The owner of the clothes had a sturdy build, so they looked somewhat empty draped over his already thin frame.
When Lu Xunye came out of the bathroom, Shen Yunqian was lifting his arm to look at the loose cuffs.
Lu Xunye’s steps paused. He couldn’t tell if it was guilt or something else, but his heartbeat sped up a little. He handed the wet towel to him nonchalantly. “Wipe your face.”
Shen Yunqian didn’t think much of it. The moment he reached out to take it, the warm dampness touched his fingertips, and he hissed, his fingers shrinking back uncontrollably.
He bit his lip, ready to brace himself and take it, but his hand was clasped by a strong palm. He looked at the man with confused eyes.
Lu Xunye held the exquisite, jade-like hand. Perhaps he was holding it too tightly, as Shen Yunqian’s fingers curled up, trying to pull back.
“Don’t move, let me see.”
The low voice rang in his ear. Hearing the displeasure in the tone, Shen Yunqian lowered his eyelashes and stopped resisting.
Lu Xunye pulled the thin, slender hand towards him. Feeling some bumps, he turned the other’s hand over so the palm faced upward.
On the delicate palm and knuckles before him were blisters and blood blisters of varying sizes. The palm prints were obscured by these wounds. It was a shocking sight.
Lu Xunye frowned deeply: Are these… left from whittling that wood or drilling for fire?
Shen Yunqian took advantage of his daze to pull his hand back and stuff it under the quilt. “If you don’t think about it, it doesn’t really hurt.”
Lu Xunye lowered his eyes and stared straight at his face. “Did you treat your other boyfriends this well before?”
What he wanted to ask was: Did you treat Si Jinyan this well before? Even at the cost of hurting yourself?
“?” Shen Yunqian asked cautiously, “Do I have… other boyfriends?”
Oh right, the plot hasn’t reached that part yet.
Lu Xunye reached out to cover his eyes, feeling that something was spiraling out of control. “Don’t stare at me with those eyes.”
Feeling moisture on his palm, Lu Xunye was startled and withdrew his hand. The young man quickly turned his face away and tilted his head back. “I know it’s weird. Can you please stop talking about it?”
The other’s voice was muffled. Lu Xunye touched his cheek, forcing him to look at him.
At this moment, those clean eyes, filled with tears like a pool of clear spring water, hung low.
Lu Xunye’s throat tightened. “They are very beautiful. Your eyes are very beautiful.”
“They’re cool. The best-looking ones I’ve ever seen.”
Shen Yunqian’s expression froze for a moment, and he repeated in disbelief, “Beautiful…”
Shen Yunqian hadn’t had many friends growing up. Most people thought his heterochromia was ominous, that he was a monster.
For this reason, he didn’t know how many fights he had gotten into as a child.
Although Si Jinyan would say his eyes were beautiful after humiliating him verbally every time, the sarcasm was always obvious.
Shen Yunqian was more willing to believe the other party was speaking ironically, aiming to remind him that he was indeed a cursed monster.
Lu Xunye’s tone was serious. “Really beautiful. Just like your paintings, uniquely beautiful.”
The young man’s eyelashes trembled lightly. A crystal tear fell naturally from his reddened eyes, dripping onto the thumb Lu Xunye had placed at the corner of his eye, then vanishing into his sleeve.
This tear, like a caress, caused Lu Xunye to shrink his hand back.
A trace of loneliness flashed through the young man’s eyes. Keenly catching it, Lu Xunye sighed and opened his arms. “Do you want a hug?”
Shen Yunqian lowered his head and rested it against his chest, asking abruptly, “Are you cold?”
Lu Xunye was stunned for two seconds before realization dawned. He played along. “Cold. Yeah, it’s freezing. It would be great to have a warm hug right now.”
Shen Yunqian hugged him as requested. Lu Xunye wrapped him in his arms, just as he had during the day.
Their body temperatures intermingled. After a long time, Shen Yunqian replied softly, “Thank you. You are the best-looking too.”
Lu Xunye blushed. When the person slowly let go, he clenched the now-cold towel and stood up, stumbling over his words. “I’ll go re-wet the towel.”
He fled into the bathroom and closed the door. Leaning his back against it, he pressed the cold towel to his face in despair to cool down.
Not normal! Not normal!! This is absolutely not normal!!!
Taking down the towel, he slapped himself lightly on the mouth, muttering to himself in disbelief, “Am I possessed?”
Stop thinking!
He shook his head, refusing to think about it anymore.
Before leaving the bathroom, he exhaled deeply, as if there were poisonous snakes or beasts outside the door.
During the quiet face and hand wiping session that followed, Lu Xunye maintained a solemn, business-like expression.
…
Time passed minute by minute.
Lu Xunye propped his head up with one hand, dozing off, his eyelids growing heavy.
His head tilted, almost hitting the table. He managed to avoid hitting his head, but his elbow slipped off the edge of the table, smashing his funny bone.
His vision went black instantly. After recovering for a while and regaining his sight, he saw Shen Yunqian raising his hand to adjust the air valve in the middle of the infusion tube.
Lu Xunye’s gaze moved up. The infusion bottle was bottoming out. This was the last bottle. He rubbed his eyes and walked over.
“Need to pull the needle?”
His sleepy tone was gentle and lazy, quite different from usual.
Shen Yunqian nodded. “Mhm.”
A tricky problem lay before him. Lu Xunye woke up immediately.
How did the doctor explain it again?
Lu Xunye could only recall the doctor chattering a whole bunch of stuff. He had forgotten almost everything about how to pull the needle.
Press first, then pull?
“Don’t move, let me figure this out.”
What if I press it and the needle moves, piercing the vein?
But if I don’t press, it will definitely bleed. My hand might shake too.
I can’t just yank it out raw like Shen Yunqian did last time.
Lu Xunye felt that this tiny needle tip was more terrifying than a machete.
He pressed down tremblingly, one hand pinching the needle handle. “Don’t be afraid, I’ll be quick.”
Shen Yunqian: “Oh.”
Lu Xunye didn’t dare to look. “Ready?”
“…” Shen Yunqian pondered for a moment. “You already pulled it out.”
Huh?
Lu Xunye lowered his head, glanced at the needle in his hand, and fell silent.
Shen Yunqian shook his hand to signal him to come back to reality. “You don’t need to pinch anymore.”
“If you’re sleepy, go to sleep,” Shen Yunqian said.
Lu Xunye instinctively looked at the single sofa over there, but Shen Yunqian asked, “Why did you tell others we are married?”
Lu Xunye turned back, thinking: Didn’t you say that? Denying it so soon?
He didn’t speak, but the meaning in his eyes was clear. Shen Yunqian said, “I thought you didn’t want others to know.”
Lu Xunye was puzzled. “Why?”
Shen Yunqian: “Because you are very repulsed. Just like now, you subconsciously draw a line with me, don’t you?”
This time Lu Xunye couldn’t argue. He had indeed been looking for a reason to sleep on the sofa just now.
It was the truth, but he couldn’t say it.
“If you don’t like the current me, I won’t force you. We can break—”
Before Shen Yunqian could finish his sentence, Lu Xunye had already nimbly flipped onto the bed.
Shen Yunqian: “…”
Whether forced by the mission or for other reasons, Lu Xunye couldn’t distinguish anymore. He only knew that his heart was beating a little fast right now.
The two lay down under one quilt. The bright lights were turned off, and only the silvery moonlight shone through the gap in the curtains onto the floor.
The room was unbelievably quiet, save for the barely audible, rhythmic sounds of their breathing.
Lu Xunye noticed the quilt beside him move. The next second, his thumb was held. He held his breath, pretending to be asleep, but was actually counting the beats in his heart.
After about a few minutes, the grip on his knuckles loosened and was about to withdraw. Lu Xunye’s hand moved faster than his brain, intercepting the hand halfway.
Five fingers slid through the gaps, interlocking tightly.
Feeling the raised blisters on that palm, he let go and held the other’s wrist instead.
Then, he turned on his side, pulled that hand to his chest, opened his eyes to look at the young man’s silhouette for a while, and finally fell into a deep sleep.
Hearing the steady breathing, Shen Yunqian opened his eyes. He turned his head and also turned on his side, tracing the other’s facial contours with his gaze in the darkness.
An extremely light murmur dissipated into the night, unnoticed by anyone.
“When can you go home with me?”
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