You Claimed You Didn’t Love Me, So Why Cry Now That I’m Engaged? Chapter 136

Chapter 136: It Turns Out It Was Him

Xie Miaohan immediately resigned from his job at the ice cream shop.

Just a few days before the new semester was set to begin, he went to his dorm room and dumped all his personal belongings into the school dumpsters. Using what little savings he had left, he bought back every photo the other students had of him.

It was as if he was scrubbing his existence from this world completely clean.

He was worried that Gu Huaiye would come to study at this university, and he didn’t want his photos to be an annoyance to him. He didn’t even want to be a passing memory in Gu Huaiye’s life.

Xie Miaohan hoped that after Gu Huaiye enrolled, even if he heard rumors about a suicide, his heart wouldn’t ripple with even the slightest emotion. At most, he might feel a fleeting pity that a senior student had been too fragile and chose to end his life at such a young age.

On the day he planned to leave, the weather was exceptionally beautiful. Xie Miaohan woke up very early and ate a hearty breakfast.

He found his counselor and gave his mother’s keepsake to them. Xie Miaohan didn’t want such a beautiful object to sink to the bottom of the river with him. He felt guilty toward his parents and felt unworthy of taking his mother’s belongings with him in death.

He knew his parents would never come to pick him up again.

Unable to achieve his own redemption, he could only use self-destruction to erase himself, over and over again.

Standing by the bridge, Xie Miaohan held his phone, having already wiped its data clean. But a moment later, he worried that his death might become a cold case, leading the media to dig up his past by any means necessary.

Xie Miaohan didn’t want to appear in the newspapers, and he was terrified that Gu Huaiye would see his filthy, unbearable past.

After thinking for a long time, he typed a single sentence into his phone:

[I’m sorry, I’m just too tired.]

This made him seem cowardly and boring; the media wouldn’t waste time reporting on someone like that.

Xie Miaohan took off his shoes and placed his phone beside them. Then, with a look of absolute resolve, he prepared to jump into the river.

He was grateful that Gu Huaiye hadn’t been reborn this time.

He knew Gu Huaiye was too kind and wouldn’t just let him commit suicide. He would definitely run over to persuade him, perhaps even disregarding his own safety to reach out and grab him.

It was good this way. Only he had the memories.

This way, he didn’t have to worry about hurting Gu Huaiye.

Just as Xie Miaohan had guessed, he had been reborn once again.

He had intended to repeat the same path and continue to erase himself. But the day before his planned departure, he suddenly gained memories that didn’t belong to him.

They were familiar, yet strange.

It turned out Gu Huaiye had appeared in his childhood, pulling him out of the chaotic and dirty District H and bringing him to District A. He had ensured his childhood was no longer filled with beatings and starvation.

Xie Miaohan absorbed this memory in disbelief, a look of confusion and agony surfacing on his face.

What on earth was going on?

Why did Gu Huaiye appear in his childhood looking like an adult? And the photo in that wallet—was that a picture of him and Gu Huaiye together?

Xie Miaohan clutched his chest, his eyes widening in shock.

So, the lover Gu Huaiye had spoken of… was it him?

It turns out, it was him all along.

Xie Miaohan cried, but his sorrow was so profound that he couldn’t make a sound.

Because of this sudden influx of memories, Xie Miaohan’s plan to leave was delayed for a long time. He obsessively replayed that memory over and over again.

But when the memories shifted to Gu Huaiye wasting away to take care of him, suffering the torture of heart disease, Xie Miaohan didn’t dare to remember any further.

He really was a jinx. No matter which timeline he appeared in Gu Huaiye’s life, he brought nothing but pain and suffering. Perhaps he simply shouldn’t be alive.

Xie Miaohan pondered for a long time but ultimately decided to leave.

He stood by the bridge, preparing to jump just as he had the last time. Suddenly, Gu Huaiye’s anxious and terrified voice rang out from behind him.

“Miaomiao! Don’t jump!”

Xie Miaohan froze, his body turning stiffly to look back.

Gu Huaiye was a meter away, his hands raised helplessly, seemingly afraid to step closer.

“Miaomiao, I know I… I’m late. I apologize… to you.” Gu Huaiye had run desperately fast; his breathing was heavy, and his words came out in gasps. “Don’t go, okay? …Don’t leave me again… I’m begging you…”

Xie Miaohan stared at Gu Huaiye in astonishment.

“How… how are you here?” Xie Miaohan paused, his tone filled with sadness. “Did you undergo rebirth again? Was it my fault?”

“No, it has nothing to do with you.” Gu Huaiye finally caught his breath, his breathing steadying as he looked at Xie Miaohan with unwavering determination. “I wanted to correct the tragedy between us, so I kept being reborn.”

Gu Huaiye inched forward cautiously, softening his tone. “Come down, okay? Miaomiao, let’s start over.”

Xie Miaohan’s eyes were red as he stared intently at the lover before him. After a long silence, he gently shook his head.

“Huaiye, go back,” Xie Miaohan said. “I don’t want to scare you, so please go back. Don’t worry about me.”

Seeing that Xie Miaohan was determined to die, Gu Huaiye cried out in fear.

“Miaomiao, what will it take for you to be willing to live?” Gu Huaiye’s face was covered in tears as he begged, “Don’t leave me alone, okay? I really can’t handle losing you.”

“After you left, I didn’t live well. Not well at all. I overestimated myself; I always thought I was omnipotent. But after losing you, and losing Chen Zirui, every day I lived was agony.”

Xie Miaohan seemed to understand his words, and despair floated in his eyes.

“I didn’t know you would be reborn. If only you didn’t have the memories…”

Gu Huaiye interrupted him. “How would that be better? The thought of losing the memory of you, of being indifferent to your death… my heart hurts so much I can’t stand it.”

Xie Miaohan opened his mouth but found he couldn’t speak.

Gu Huaiye thought he was unwilling to change his mind. He pursed his lips and stepped up to Xie Miaohan’s side.

Xie Miaohan’s pupils constricted, and he hurriedly grabbed Gu Huaiye’s wrist.

“What are you doing?”

Gu Huaiye didn’t shake off Xie Miaohan’s hand. His voice was very gentle.

“If you are truly too tired, I won’t force you to stay alive. Let me accompany you,” Gu Huaiye said. “In the last life, I already fulfilled my duties as a filial son.”

“I never chose you firmly; I always chose to give you up for the sake of responsibility. I’m sorry. I won’t do that anymore.”

Gu Huaiye held Xie Miaohan’s hand back.

“If you want to leave, then I will accompany you.”

“If there is a next life, I will still accompany you.” Gu Huaiye squeezed Xie Miaohan’s hand tight, revealing a faint smile. “I won’t let go of you again.”

After listening to Gu Huaiye’s words, Xie Miaohan pulled him into his embrace.

“I won’t go.”

He had chosen to erase himself for Gu Huaiye. Now, for Gu Huaiye, he decided to live.

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