ใ56ใBetter to Leave on My Own
To wait for Mu Yan, remaining single all this time…
Then what am I to him?
Wen Ran didn’t know how to accept this for a moment. He didn’t want to believe that Jiang Yan’s feelings for him before were all fake, but Song Zixuan definitely knew more about Jiang Yan than he did.
A wave of dizziness washed over Wen Ran. Clenching his hands tightly, he didn’t know what to say in response.
Seeing that something was wrong with him, Song Zixuan couldn’t help but ask, “Wen Ran, what’s wrong?”
Wen Ran shook his head.
“A bit sleepy. I’ll go back first.”
Afraid Song Zixuan would notice something, he casually brushed it off and returned to his room.
Only after closing the door did Wen Ran slump to the floor as if all his strength had been drained.
His mind was full of Jiang Yan.
When he was most helpless, it was Jiang Yan who pulled him out, gave him an embrace, and treated him like a treasure. But now, he didn’t know where his future with Jiang Yan lay.
When Song Zixuan talked about Jiang Yan’s ideal type before, he had indeed mentioned this childhood sweetheart, but Wen Ran hadn’t taken it to heart.
So, it was true…
Wen Ran really wanted to send a message to Jiang Yan, but he typed and deleted, deleted and typed, and in the end, didn’t send a single word.
What should I say?
Ask Jiang Yan what he’s actually doing? Or ask him what his relationship with Mu Yan is?
Wen Ran hated himself like this. He should trust his boyfriend. Since Jiang Yan didn’t tell him, he must have his own plans and reasons.
He shouldn’t ask.
It was already late at night, but Wen Ran wasn’t sleepy at all. He logged into the game, turned on invisible mode, and played ranked matches one after another.
Only by occupying his mind with something could he stop thinking about Jiang Yan constantly.
Did he pick up Mu Yan? If he did, what are they doing?
Wen Ran shook his head vigorously, throwing himself into the game.
For someone like him, it seemed that even sadness could only be handled by playing games.
He was still wearing the couple’s wristband Jiang Yan gave him. Wen Ran bit his lip and tapped on it once.
No response.
Wen Ran played games all night. Until nine in the morning, Jiang Yan hadn’t replied.
Probably, he didn’t notice.
Otherwise, how could Jiang Yan not respond to me?
Wen Ran comforted himself like this. He didn’t touch the wristband again, nor did he look at his phone. Since he was up relatively early, he should make breakfast for Song Zixuan.
Wen Ran went to the kitchen and cooked a pot of simple porridge. The aroma filled the entire kitchen.
Song Zixuan soon walked out, yawning, with messy hair like a chicken coop. “Wen Ran, smells so good!”
Seeing Wen Ran’s obviously exhausted face: “You look in bad shape. Did you stay up all night?”
Wen Ran tilted his head. “Isn’t it normal for me to stay up late?”
“Oh, true.” Thinking that Wen Ran was a pro player after all, Song Zixuan figured practicing all night was normal. He ladled a bowl of porridge and sat at the dining table, scrolling through his phone.
Suddenly, as if he saw something shocking, his eyes went straight. “Wen Ran, holy sh*t!”
“Guess what I saw? Holy sht, holy sht!”
“Mu Yan actually went to try on wedding dresses today!” Song Zixuan shouted. “Holy crap, I knew my brother was awesome!”
“This progress is too fast!”
Wen Ran took the phone handed to him, feeling as if a basin of cold water had been poured over his head. The girl in the photo was gentle and beautiful, wearing a pure white wedding dress, holding a bouquet, and smiling tenderly and sweetly at the camera.
Mu Yan tried on several sets. She was beautiful to begin with, and every wedding dress accentuated her good figure and moving beauty.
But in Wen Ran’s eyes, it was exceptionally piercing.
Heaven knows how much effort it took for Wen Ran not to smash Song Zixuan’s phone on the ground.
“I should buy a gift in advance. That way, when Sister-in-law Mu Yan comes over, I can hug her thigh (suck up to her) so my brother won’t bully me all the time…”
Song Zixuan was still rambling, but Wen Ran couldn’t hear clearly anymore.
He saw the location tag on the post. Wen Ran grabbed his jacket and walked straight out the door.
“Hey, Wen Ran, are you going out?”
Song Zixuan called out from behind, but Wen Ran didn’t answer.
He hailed a taxi directly. “Driver, trouble you to go to Star Love.”
The taxi driver was quite chatty. “Yo, young man, getting married?”
“You don’t look very old; I thought you were still in college.”
Wen Ran didn’t want to engage too much, so he gave a shallow “Mn” to brush it off.
“Then you must love your girlfriend very much, right?” The driver chuckled. “It’s so good to be young!”
The driver intended just to chat casually, unaware of how much damage these few sentences caused Wen Ran.
He almost couldn’t hold back his tears, but he could only force down his pain. “Mn, I love him very much.”
Wen Ran searched on his phone while in the car. Star Love was a national chain of bridal shops; even the cheapest custom dress cost over ten thousand.
Wen Ran walked into the shop. After distracting the clerk, he began to look for any trace of Jiang Yan.
He felt he must be crazy to do something like this.
Being suspicious like an abandoned, resentful wife, actually running to the shop.
Suddenly, he heard a sweet female voice:
“Jiang Yan, look at this one. How is this one?”
“Good-looking. Eldest Miss is so beautiful, she looks good in everything.”
The familiar voice rang out. Wen Ran stared blankly as Jiang Yan praised the girl in front of him, without a trace of impatience in his tone.
“Then is this one better, or the previous one?”
“Each has its merits. This one might be easier to move in,” Jiang Yan said. “The train on that one just now was too long.”
“Hm, makes sense.” Mu Yan snapped her fingers. “Then this one it is. I’ll go change out of it first, and later you accompany me to buy high heels.”
Jiang Yan was helpless. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Anyway, I have you to carry things for me.” Mu Yan shrugged at him and blinked at Jiang Yan. “You promised me last night!”
“It’s my major life event!”
“I know, Eldest Miss.”
Wen Ran listened to their conversation in a daze. The atmosphere between Jiang Yan and Mu Yan was simply more like a couple.
Accompanying her to try on wedding dresses, buying high heels, talking about major life events, dotingly calling her Eldest Miss…
Anyone seeing this would think they were a loving, sweet couple, right?
Wen Ran took out his phone and sent a message to Jiang Yan.
[Where did you put the cat food?]
Jiang Yan: [On the balcony.]
Wen Ran took a deep breath and typed: [Want to have lunch together? I want to eat hotpot.]
Jiang Yan replied very quickly: [Can’t today, have some things to attend to. Another day, Gege will treat you.]
Seeing this message, the stone in Wen Ran’s heart finally dropped completely.
This feeling was strange; it was as if he finally didn’t have to guess in fear anymore, yet it left him bruised and battered all over.
Jiang Yan, his boyfriend, was chatting and laughing with another girl in a bridal shop discussing major life events, yet he wasn’t willing to tell him a word of truth.
Or perhaps, in his heart, he was just a dispensable plaything for when Mu Yan wasn’t around. When he was happy, he’d tease him a bit; once Mu Yan returned, he lost his value.
It made sense. Jiang Yan wasn’t stupid. One was a beautiful, generous childhood sweetheart who matched him in social status; the other was a sprayer who only knew how to play games and was fierce and loved to curse.
What did he have to compare with Mu Yan? How dared he confidently think he was worthy of Jiang Yan?
Pata!
Something dripped onto the back of Wen Ran’s hand. He tried his best to control his tears, but they wouldn’t listen to his persuasion, rolling down one after another.
So useless. What is there to cry about…
He hated this useless version of himself to death.
The phone’s notification light flashed. Wen Ran opened it; it was another message from Jiang Yan:
[Does Ran Ran miss me?]
Even at a time like this, he could still distract himself to patronize him. It really wasn’t easy for him.
In this instant, some thoughts popped up. He really wanted to just walk out like this, walk right in front of them, and explain his relationship with Jiang Yan to Mu Yan clearly. He wanted to see Jiang Yan’s reaction. It would be best if Mu Yan got angry with him because of this; that way, maybe, he still had a chance.
He also thought about pretending not to know and continuing to date Jiang Yan until he kicked him out.
But in the end, Wen Ran did nothing.
That wouldn’t be fair to Mu Yan.
And, he couldn’t bear to.
He couldn’t be as free and easy as when he broke up with Li Hao.
Even if Jiang Yan deceived him, he had truly given him warmth after all. If not for him, maybe he would have been taken back to that small town long ago, or would be muddling through life day after day in some other internet cafe.
Wen Ran bit his lip and replied to his message in his usual manner:
[Scram, scram, scram. Stop flattering yourself. Daddy is just concerned about his son.]
When he typed these words, every keystroke felt like a knife stabbing into his heart.
Wen Ran turned off his phone. Mu Yan had finished changing clothes and came out. Jiang Yan walked towards her very naturally. Wen Ran took a deep look at Jiang Yan’s back. He knew in his heart that this might be the last time he looked at Jiang Yan like this.
He just hadn’t expected it would be watching the other walk toward someone else.
Wen Ran’s tears flowed down his cheeks. He hadn’t cried this hard in a long time. The surging tears were like a broken dam, but this time, no one was there to wipe them for him.
He couldn’t bring himself to wish Jiang Yan and Mu Yan a long and happy life. As for whether Jiang Yan ever liked him, Wen Ran didn’t want to ask anymore.
He was afraid he would get an even more heartbreaking answer.
Wen Ran composed himself and walked out of the bridal shop.
Since Mu Yan had returned, Jiang Yan breaking up with him was just a matter of time. Rather than waiting to be kicked out with some excuses or the cold shoulder later, it was better to be sensible and leave on his own.
Consider it giving himself some dignity.
Wen Ran turned on his phone, pulled up the contact, and pressed the delete button.
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