After being sent to the cold palace, the emperor’s heart was burned into ashes CHAPTER 77

Chapter 77: Blushing

In the long silence, until a tiny osmanthus flower fell windingly, tumbling a few times on the windowsill, was the silence finally broken.

Zhao Yiyi lifted her eyelids to glance at him, her cherry lips parting lightly. “If Your Majesty wants one, there are plenty of people willing to make one for Your Majesty.”

As if his heart was pinched hard, Gu Zhen’s brow darkened slightly. He whispered, “But Zhen only wants one made by you.”

From beginning to end, all he wanted was just her.

How could Yiyi not know?

She had never been this magnanimous before.

Before, he thought women loved to be jealous and possessive. Only after experiencing it himself did he know that love was mostly equal, regardless of gender or status.

Who could bear someone else standing between them and their beloved? Who could truly speak such magnanimous, indifferent words?

Even as the Emperor, when facing the woman he desired, he was no different from anyone else.

Probably only after ceasing to care, after the heart turned to dead ash, could one be so magnanimous and speak these words without a grudge.

Seemingly obedient, but actually distant.

Ultimately, there was a hint of acting out of pique.

Gu Zhen didn’t want her to always be this awkward, and feeling stifled and unhappy himself, he could only soften his voice, cup her face gently, and say warmly, “Why always such a big temper? Doesn’t Yiyi understand what Zhen means?”

His thumb brushed her smooth cheek. Gu Zhen’s eyes darkened slightly, looking down into her dark pupils.

“I don’t know.” Zhao Yiyi kept a straight face, annoyed. “Being unable to understand Your Majesty’s meaning is this consort’s fault.”

Gu Zhen was amused by her. He lowered his voice to coax, “How could Yiyi be wrong? If there is fault, it should be Zhen’s fault. If you don’t want to braid, don’t braid. Is it okay if Zhen doesn’t want it?”

Thinking he was laughing at her, Zhao Yiyi became even angrier. Two clouds of red anger appeared on her cheeks. Looking up at him, her apricot eyes were full of rage.

“It’s always whatever you say goes.” She looked up at him for a long time, until her neck was sore, then suddenly felt terrible. “You say you like, then you like. You say you don’t like, then you don’t like. Why are you so domineering?”

Knowing she was using this matter to say something else, Gu Zhen’s heart soured. The next moment, he extended his long arm and pulled her into an embrace.

Caught off guard, Zhao Yiyi tilted and crashed into a solid wall.

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Stunned for a moment, as the faint scent of elm wrapped around from all sides, she looked up again and crashed into a pair of deep phoenix eyes.

“You were the one who said you didn’t like me back then, and you are the one saying you like me now.” She clutched his robe, indignant. “Why is it all up to you?”

Gu Zhen lost his voice, just looking at her. His heart, like the wounds on his body, felt as if burned by fire, leaving mark after mark.

Wanted to speak, but couldn’t.

He could only hold her tighter.

The taste of worrying about gain and loss wasn’t known only to her; it was exactly what he was experiencing now.

Sometimes filled because she was by his side, sometimes empty again because he wasn’t in her heart.

He didn’t speak, and Zhao Yiyi got angrier, mad at his silent appearance. “Since you disliked me back then, resented me as someone Aunt forced on you, why didn’t you tell me clearly sooner? Let me give up hope? You knew clearly… you knew clearly that I liked you…”

“Yiyi, Zhen was wrong.” Gu Zhen lowered his eyes, holding her tightly, his voice getting deeper, carrying uncontrollable panic.

” Zhen was wrong.”

Zhao Yiyi’s eyes stung, but she turned her head away, unwilling to let him see her sorry state. Her breath trembled slowly as she bit her lip and said, “You wouldn’t say anything. You just watched others bully me. Watched the Empress Dowager dislike me for being introduced by Aunt, dislike me for having no children. Watched He Taifei set traps in secret. Watched Linchuan slander me behind my back. Even the palace officials could play tricks behind my back, making me suffer losses. And you? You would only point at palace affairs and say to me, ‘Can’t you even do something this simple?'”

“It is simple, and I can’t do it.” She nodded and admitted it. This time even her nose turned red, voice choking with sobs. “You are the Son of Heaven cultivated by the late Emperor; you know everything, understand everything. But who ever taught me?”

An unintentional remark from the past was remembered by her until now. Gu Zhen’s face stiffened for a moment, generating endless regret again.

Had he known there would be today, he wouldn’t have said a single word of those things.

But the words were spoken; how could there be room for regret? Even if he was the Emperor, there was no medicine for regret in this world for him to take. “If Zhen knew that casual words would make you feel this bad, Zhen would never have said a word.”

The principle of thinking thrice before acting was something he understood at four.

When he was four, he pranked the Crown Prince’s tutor and was punished by Father Emperor to kneel outside Zichen Palace. Father Emperor told him: “As Crown Prince, you must understand thinking thrice before acting. If you prank your own master while still the Heir, how can the court trust you? How can Zhen be at ease?”

The kneeling was for the officials to see—punishing himself first to avoid officials submitting angry memorials, and to avoid leaving a record of stubbornness in history.

Those words were meant for him.

Since then, he acted and spoke according to this requirement.

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Yet he acted as he pleased before the Empress. Ultimately, he just didn’t take it seriously.

Zhao Yiyi turned her head, tears rolling down. Still refusing to let him see, she kept wiping them with her sleeve. Today she wore a lotus-colored dusting-gold cloak with twelve flowers embroidered on the sleeve edge. Just wiping lightly like this, in a moment, her entire eye socket was rubbed red.

Using such force, just not wanting him to see.

“Anyway, you always have a lot to say, always have so many words to retort.” She glared at him annoyed. “You dislike this and that about me. The food I made, the sachets I made for you, the clothes I arranged for you—even catching a wind-chill, you blamed me for carelessness. Now you come saying it must be a knot braided by me.”

Zhao Yiyi pushed him, questioning with red eyes, “You clearly detested the daughter of the Zhao clan back then; why didn’t you tell me? If you told me on the wedding night, I wouldn’t have sunk deeper and deeper.” The earlier she withdrew, the more peace she could have, fulfilling her duty as Empress rather than viewing him as a husband, as a beloved.

Gu Zhen felt heartache looking at her.

In the past, she was willing to cry in front of him. Staring at her for a moment, Gu Zhen reached out to pull her sleeve away, personally taking a handkerchief to wipe for her. His thumb brushed the corner of her eye. “Does it hurt?”

A random question ignited a fire in Zhao Yiyi’s heart. She snatched the handkerchief to wipe herself, saying coldly, “Don’t need you to care!”

Gu Zhen looked down at her. When she calmed down slightly, only sobbing with head bowed, he stroked her soft hair and coaxed gently, ” Zhen wronged Yiyi so much. If you don’t retaliate, will Yiyi be content?”

Zhao Yiyi didn’t understand what he meant, just looking up at him blankly.

Gu Zhen hooked a smile on his lips, voice warm. “How about Zhen lets Yiyi retaliate?” He bowed slightly, whispering in her ear, “For the next few decades, Zhen will let you retaliate slowly.”

This time, Zhao Yiyi understood.

Understanding was one thing, but she didn’t think it through, just looking up with a stiff expression.

A face as fair as jade, apricot eyes red, still holding tear stains. Gu Zhen’s heart trembled violently. He leaned down, attempting to capture that beauty.

Rapid knocking sounded, followed by a series of shouts from outside: “Sister! Sister, I want to come in!”

Gu Zhen’s brow sank instantly. Eyes filled with anger looked out. The moment the door was pushed open, he scolded coldly and lowly: “Get out!”

Zhao Duanduan was scared.

She didn’t know the Emperor was here at all; if she knew, she wouldn’t have come. Hearing that furious voice, she instinctively stepped back, closed the door, and stared at the vermilion-painted doors in a daze.

Recalling the scene she just saw, she suddenly felt her face flush red.

Suddenly interrupted, Gu Zhen’s face was full of anger. Staring at the door for a long time, he finally said, “It is indeed inconvenient for you living in this Yande Hall.”

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Zhao Yiyi asked, “What?”

Rubbing her smooth soft skin, Gu Zhen kissed the soft hair on her forehead. “She is too noisy. Find a time, Zhen will have Matron Song teach her rules properly.”

“Linchuan was that noisy, and never saw Your Majesty dislike it,” Zhao Yiyi sneered back. “Duanduan is very good. Who needs you to teach? Why didn’t I see you ask someone to teach your sister?”

Gu Zhen said helplessly, ” Zhen never cared about her.”

Zhao Yiyi mocked slightly, “Yes, you never cared about anyone.”

He patted her back a few times and coaxed her gently before standing up. ” Zhen still has matters in the front court. Originally planned to deal with her after the investiture ceremony, who knew she committed suicide first. Yiyi, Zhen moved the investiture ceremony to next month.”

Speaking of this, guilt appeared on his face involuntarily as he looked down at her.

Zhao Yiyi held a cup of hot tea, drank a few mouthfuls, and said, “No matter. Whatever time is fine, as long as you don’t forget.”

Gu Zhen couldn’t help laughing. ” Zhen thought you would dislike the bad luck.”

“At this point, what use is disliking it? Can it make her come alive to die again later?” Zhao Yiyi looked slightly depressed, drinking tea to suppress it. “She has a child’s nature and doesn’t care about these things. I just want her to have it.”

Gu Zhen responded lightly, lowering his head to hold her soft hand. ” Zhen knows. Yiyi, what you want, Zhen will give you.”

A Princess’s investiture ceremony could be big or small.

If not valued, it would be muddled through casually. If valued, it would strictly follow protocol, hosted by the Empress with titled ladies attending.

But there were no titled palace ladies, so the ceremony would inevitably be quiet. Zhao Yiyi invited the families of officials in the capital.

Ostensibly an investiture, it was actually a specially held banquet.

After the ceremony, everyone gathered in Hanbing Hall by the Dragon Pool, sitting in order, admiring the scenery.

“Sister, this outfit and crown are so heavy.” Zhao Duanduan reached out carefully, tugging Zhao Yiyi’s sleeve, her face drooping, extremely unhappy.

She had never worn such heavy clothes or such a heavy crown; she felt her whole body’s bones were falling apart.

Zhao Yiyi patted her and whispered, “Endure a little longer. You won’t wear it many times a year, hmm?”

Zhao Duanduan looked at her pitifully. After a long while, she said, “Okay.”

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Aside, Lady Wen smiled. “This subject-wife managed the Grand Princess’s coming-of-age ceremony back then. Never thought there would be such destiny.”

Zhao Yiyi covered her lips and nodded. “Indeed. Back then I thought I troubled Madam; now I know I troubled the right person.”

He Taifei had committed suicide. The Emperor didn’t keep the remaining people, cutting the mess quickly. The Seventh Prince was treated as conspiring with He Taifei in treason. Linchuan was announced as not a Royal Princess, but a fake brought in by He Taifei.

Such a royal scandal spread through Luoyang instantly.

Then the news of titling Grand Princess Jiangdu stunned everyone even more.

No one expected the rumored adopted daughter of the Zhao family to be the Emperor’s own sister. Lady Cheng regretted it until her intestines turned green. Sitting below twisting her handkerchief, she hated that she believed her daughter’s nonsense and broke the engagement with the real one for a fake one!

But back then, who knew an unremarkable adopted daughter of the Zhao family would be the Empress Dowager’s lost daughter?

She wanted to curry favor, but remembering the Marquis of Hejian’s warning last night, she extinguished that thought, just staring at the girl wearing the nine-tree flower hairpin at the head.

Thinking of her son who knelt before her room for three days begging her to take back the annulment with the Zhao family, Lady Cheng’s eyes grew dimmer.

There were countless chances to regret, but she didn’t grasp them.

As if that wasn’t enough, someone beside her whispered, “Look how arrogant their family used to be, not even putting the Empress’s sister in their eyes. Now look, she became His Majesty’s sister. Will they lick their faces and beg again?”

“Even if she wants to beg, will they pay attention to her?”

“True. With their ability to kick someone when they’re down—breaking up wasn’t enough, they had to shake out all the other family’s affairs. Truly, whoever touches them has bad luck.”

Lady Cheng saw black spots, almost fainting. She wanted to say she didn’t spread those words. But saying so would seem guilty, so she could only listen with a sullen face.

“After this, really don’t know what kind of celestial being her precious son needs to match.”

“Don’t say celestial being; only a blind person would want him.”

Lady Cheng was dizzy with anger, short of breath. Finally unable to hold it, she stood up, supported by a maid, and fled gloomily.

Translator’s Note: