Chapter 80: When Does the Guanzhu Plan to Use Me?…
“Vice-Captain Lu Tu, Captain Mu Mian asked me to ask you: what’s so interesting in the sky? Please explain the reason you suddenly started resting. The deadline given by Lord Mocha is approaching. If you don’t mine enough Demon Crystals, your next meal is gone,” the demon messenger shouted.
The Heavengaze Bird had simply and crudely defined these demons as a squad, making the ones with the highest cultivation the captains.
The Captain didn’t want to manage things, so they ended up with two vice-captains, Mu Miao and Lu Tu.
The doe-horned female demon in dark green robes jumped down from a height, landing gracefully at another mountain of Demon Crystal pillars. Here, two demons sharing the same face were workingâone smashing crystals and the other counting them.
Lu Tu said, “The time for the Secret Realm to close has already passed.”
“Tsk, I’ve actually been mining for this long.” Mu Mian threw the pickaxe in his hand and gave it a kick for good measure.
“…Thirty-three thousand, four hundred and ninety-nine… thirty-five thousand.” Mu Miao placed the crystals and looked up at the sky. “As expected, we can’t get out.”
“The Wood Tribe does everything half a beat slower. At a time like this, I’m glad they have that ‘advantage.’ The first unlucky demon to come in and fall into the trap won’t be from my tribe.”
Clack.
A crimson chess piece landed on the board.
Inside the empty, black-mist-filled hall, a tall Flame Demon with massive horns stood. Compared to him, Yan Yeâs horns were like bean sprouts compared to ivory.
The Flame Demon radiated an intense heat that twisted the air. Such a majestic demon was currently fleeing in a panic.
Purple chains chased him from behind, wrapping around his limbs. The chains suddenly tightened, and the Flame Demon was dragged backward by a powerful force. The scenery before him shrank at light-speed as the red Flame Demon crashed into a stone wall.
Only when the perspective widened did it become clear that it wasn’t a stone wall, but a massive stone pillar.
As the dust settled, a fresh, large Flame Demon was hanging right there on the pillar.
A greeting came from the side: “You’re here too.”
The large Flame Demon glared. “Dead Fish, didn’t you say this trip was highly auspicious?!”
The white-tailed merman, also locked up, flicked his tail. “It was auspicious for the Demon Realm, not for any one demon. I’m also puzzled by the divination, but that’s what it showed.”
Another dark red chess piece landed on the board.
The sound of sliding chains was followed by a heavy impact as they slammed into a stone pillar on the other side of the merman.
A fierce Battle Demoness with sexy demonic markings lunged forward, trying to break free, only to be pulled back and fixed firmly to the pillar.
One of her eyes was covered by a black cloth, and the remaining eye glared at the merman. “This Lord hates you mystical fortune-tellers the most! You can never give a straight answer!”
The white-tailed merman: “That’s because the things you ask me to divine are never small matters. If you asked me what color socks Shadow Three is wearing today, I could tell you exactly.”
The large Flame Demon: “What color?”
“Is this the time for that?!” the one-eyed Battle Demoness roared.
“Who would divine such a boring question? What’s the point?”
The white-tailed merman: “Believe me, it’s important. Are you sure you don’t want to ask?”
The Battle Demoness: “Just spit it out!”
“Shadow Three’s socks are white today. I would never miscalculate that.” The mermanâs tail flicked a bit more… was he feeling giddy?
“Because I put them on his feet myself this morning.”
The large Flame Demon: “…”
The Battle Demoness: “…”
Both demons wore expressions as if they had swallowed flies.
“Let me go! I want to slaughter this fish!” The Battle Demoness hammered at the stone pillar in a rage.
The chains actually loosened a bitânot by much, just enough for her fist to reach the mermanâs face.
“Wait, hit me later. We have official business now. The master of this place is looking over.” The white-tailed merman turned serious.
The Battle Demonessâs fist stopped less than an inch from his face. After a pause of less than half a second, the fist slammed into that face anyway.
“My chains opened, so the master here clearly wants to see you get hit!”
“Don’t hit the face! I have to represent our Mo Jun’s dignity and speak with the master of the Secret Realm in a moment!”
“If we let you represent us, what dignity will we have left?!”
“Hiss, stop! Stop, stop! Do you want dignity or your path to the Dao?!” the merman shouted between blows.
The Battle Demoness gave him another punch in the stomach before letting go as the chains pulled her back to the pillar.
“So violent. No wonder you haven’t had a Dao Companion in all these years. Unlike me and Shadow Three…”
The large Flame Demon roared, interrupting him, “Damn white fish! Do something official!”
“Two bachelors without Dao Companions.” The white-tailed mermanâhis face beaten black and blue, yet radiating a sense of superiorityâcleared his throat. Using a voice that should have been heavenly, he shouted in a raspy tone: “Is the master of the Secret Realm there? You are, right? I’m here to surrender!”
“These Mo Juns were all tricked… I mean, brought over by me to surrender together!”
Under the murderous glares of the two Mo Juns on either side of him, the merman, who had just let the truth slip, spoke faster: “I performed a divination for the master of the Secret Realm. Your Excellency will encounter a great disaster soon. Why not let me go so we can talk in detail?”
“What do you think?” The Heavengaze Bird placed another piece on the board.
“Iâll have to trouble Shishu to help me see clearly.” Yun Wuxiang was referring to its ability to see into hearts.
Although the Heavengaze Bird had never confessed it, through their recent interactions and the bird’s occasional reactions, Yun Wuxiang had enough information to judge its ability.
A wisp of black mist flew from the bird, flicking the only white piece on the board and tossing it to the floor.
After a crisp sound, the white piece vanished, replaced by a merman with a long, swaying tail. His eyes were completely closed, as if he were asleep, but his expressions were very rich.
“Good afternoon, Your Excellencies. Have you eaten? I have some dried fish specialties from the North Sea here.” The merman held up a string of various dried fish. To be fair, some of them smelled quite good.
Yun Wuxiang looked at the string of dried fish and easily felt a sense of empathy with the two demons on the pillars below.
This fish… so many useless words and nonsensical actions.
He had a similar vibe to Song Yilou when the latter was having an episode. Both were the type that made one’s hands itch to punch them.
Luckily, Yun Wuxiang had plenty of experience communicating with “episode” patients. He forcibly steered the topic toward what he wanted to hear: “If your next sentence is also useless, you won’t need to speak anymore.”
“The Tiandao falls, the Tiandao rises. It begins in the Immortal Realm, it begins in the Demon Realm. Fortune is unbalanced, the mechanics of the Dao are in chaos. Immortal and Demon are indistinguishable; Monster and Ghost are hard to discern. All living beings in the world are on the chessboard; wisdom is clouded, and lives are not their own.”
A mysterious, ethereal voice sang out from the merman.
“Itâs like this: a few days ago, the celestial signs changed drastically. I couldn’t resist performing a divination and nearly lost my life. That was the result.”
The merman patted his chest with lingering fear. “I didn’t interpret this divination; just performing it nearly cost me half my life. But since it cost such a high price, it must be very important, especially the last few lines. I couldn’t stop worrying about it, so I found the elders of my tribe to interpret it.”
“There still wasn’t much they could decipher, and I don’t dare speak too clearly. I only have half a life left; I can’t afford to waste it. In short, I’m here to surrender. I think Your Excellency will soon need a fortune-teller who knows some minor techniques for obscuring heavenly secrets.”
The merman opened his eyes. His white pupils had no focus, like the eyes of a dead fish or dull pearls. “The prying gaze comes from the Immortal Realm, yet is higher than the Immortal Realm. Your Excellency should hide yourself well for the time being.”
Yun Wuxiang felt those eyes land on him. The merman was looking at him, yet not at him as a person, but at something more profound and mysterious.
He could guess a part of the divination the merman spoke of.
The world’s consciousness was definitely having problems again, or was about to, and it would involve him. Typical.
When he used spells in the mortal realm, others didn’t know what was going on and projected all sorts of profound images onto him. But the rogue system would definitely know.
A prying gaze from the Immortal Realm that was higher than the Immortal Realmâwasn’t that it? Bailing Xianjun had the fortune of one and a half Children of Fortune on him; how could that not count as being “higher than the Immortal Realm”?
The Heavengaze Bird spoke then: “State your request.”
Yun Wuxiang returned from his wandering thoughts. The merman coming here for the divination didn’t mean he didn’t have other goals.
The smile on the mermanâs face became longing and gentle. “Itâs just a very simple request. It’s truly simple for you, but very important for me. I am willing to pay with my remaining half-life for itâthough it would be better if I could keep a breath in me.”
“Please bring my Dao Companion back to life.”
…
“I bet the first one to come in will be a Flame Demon, with Mo Jun cultivation.” Liu Zhu hesitated and took off the white jade bracelet on his wrist, placing it on the table. “This was given to me by Eldest Senior Brother. It’s the only thing I have on me.”
“A bet of one Demon Crystal. The first to come in will be a Shadow Demon.” Zhao Sihai took out a Demon Crystal and placed it on the table.
“Their cultivation will be below the Mo Jun realm. A Heavenly Demon or Earth Demon is possible.”
The dealer was dissatisfied with the bet. The youth with the scorpion-tail braid was sitting on a massive ramâs horn, swinging his legs. As he spoke, two sharp little canines were faintly visible at the corners of his mouth. He looked aggressive yet wild, and even in the sunlight, he seemed to carry a shadow.
“You have the nerve to bet a single Demon Crystal? Why not bet something interesting? For example, digging out your intestines and using them as a jump rope for a hundred turns? Or performing a live swallowing of a Blade-back Demonic Fish? Or peeling a Purple Pearl with your bare hands?” Song Yilou suggested with great interest.
The Purple Pearl was a type of highly venomous sea urchin. A single brush from the outer spikes would make one wish they were dead, yet inside it grew a dazzling hexagonal crystal of surreal beautyâwhich was also highly toxic.
Just hearing it made Zhao Sihaiâs hands sting. “I don’t believe I’ve offended Your Excellency lately?”
“You haven’t.” Song Yilouâs eyes curved in a smile. His bright, sunny smile showed no trace of the outrageous things he had just said.
Zhao Sihai sighed at his hard lot and said to the nervous Flame Demon beside him, “Junior Brother Liu Zhu, please find the Guanzhu to save my life.”
“Hold on, Senior Brother, Iâll be right baâ Shifu!” Liu Zhu stood up, striking a running pose, but looked up to see a savior descending from the heavens. “Shifu, please do something about Senior Song.”
The person being accused jumped up and wrapped himself around Yun Wuxiangâs waist, acting coquettishly. “Guanzhu, look at him. Heâs using a single Demon Crystal to brush off my betting pool.”
“There are only three of you, and you’re setting up a betting pool.” Yun Wuxiang grabbed Song Yilouâs braid. He had become quite skilled at this lately. “With you as the dealer, anyone who plays seriously is a fool.”
The only one who had bet seriously… the fool… Liu Zhu lowered his head, shrouded in a shadow of dejection. This drew a pitying pat on the head from Zhao Sihai. “Be careful next time.”
Liu Zhu nodded seriously. The demonic eyes that looked so fierce on other demons were, in his case, filled with pure, transparent simplicity.
No matter how Zhao Sihai looked, he couldn’t find a trace of aggression in them. He was too gentleâpractically a ball of cotton.
[Idiot! Absolute idiot!] the companion fire couldn’t bear to watch, swearing in frustration.
[Sorry, sorry. A-Yan, don’t be angry; anger is bad for the health.] Liu Zhu consoled it without a hint of temper. His attitude made the fire even angrier: [You’re being cursed and you don’t even talk back? You moron!]
[A-Yan is scolding me for my own good. I understand.]
[Mm, mm. A-Yan, don’t be angry.]
“You all lost this bet. The stakes go to me.” Yun Wuxiang opened his hand and swept the entire table, along with the bets, into his robes.
“Guanzhu, I’m the dealer.” Song Yilou pulled at his sleeve.
Yun Wuxiang tugged his braid. “Everything that belongs to the pet belongs to the master.”
“And the pet belongs to the master too. So when does the Guanzhu plan to use me?”
Song Yilouâs head tilted back along with his hair, but his legs crowded forward into Yun Wuxiangâs robes, rubbing against those long, straight legs.
He didn’t care at all about the conventional difference between a “Dao Companion” and a “pet.” As long as he achieved his goal, none of that mattered.
Yun Wuxiang: “Now.”
Song Yilou looked at Yun Wuxiang for a moment, then pouted unhappily. “I feel like the way Guanzhu plans to use me is different from what I meant.”
A thin smile touched the corners of Yun Wuxiangâs eyes. “Congratulations. You guessed right.”
“I am very glad that you finally have a use.”
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