Chapter 51: “Do You Still Love Me?” “Do You Still Trust Me?”
Shen Xingyu froze. To be honest, he really hadn’t held Liang Sheng for a long time. The sensation of his hands resting on this person’s shoulders had actually become foreign.
However, while he could afford to forget, Liang Sheng could not. The phrase “I can’t remember” made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He assumed Liang Sheng had shifted his affections elsewhere and was using this moment to bid a final farewell to their past.
Liang Sheng, do you want to leave me that badly?
He looked down at the head resting against his chest. A flicker of rage smoldered in his heart; he suppressed it again and again, wanting to lash out, but the paranoia ingrained in his bones held him back. It clawed at his heart, and he asked, almost as if possessed: “Do you still love me?”
The moment the question left his lips, Shen Xingyu regretted it.
He had never been so desperate to confirm someone’s feelings before; it made him look quite pathetic.
Liang Sheng hadn’t expected him to suddenly ask this, either. This was the first time he had heard the man express concern over his feelings. Stunned, he didn’t know how to answer for a moment.
Seven years. He thought that after his husband lost his memory, he no longer loved him and didn’t care about his love. Why was he asking this now…?
Shen Xingyu seemed a bit guilty, avoiding Liang Sheng’s tearful gaze. He then forced himself to explain with feigned composure, “Don’t overthink it. It was just a casual question. The only person I like is Su Nian; I have no interest in you.”
As expected, it was the same again…
Liang Sheng lowered his eyes despondently. First, a tiny bit of sweetness, followed immediately by a brutal stab to the heart.
Shen Xingyu never tired of this tactic, but Liang Sheng was exhausted.
Despite his stubborn words, Shen Xingyu was inexplicably looking forward to Liang Sheng’s answer. If Liang Sheng said he still loved him, he would consider a lighter punishment for the indecent photo incident. After all, he wasn’t particularly worried about Liang Sheng saying he didn’t love him.
How could Liang Sheng, who had been such a devoted “lickspittle” for so many years, leave him so easily? He still harbored some doubts regarding Su Rao’s words.
“Then, do you still trust me?”
Liang Sheng actually answered a question with a question. He raised his eyes, which were completely flooded with tears, to look at the man. Fortunately, his vision was blurred, allowing him to avoid the heartbreak of seeing the other’s coldness and ruthlessness too clearly.
Shen Xingyu’s heart suddenly twinged. He didn’t know if it was because Liang Sheng looked so pitiful, or because the gaze he leveled at him was too full of despair. His mood soured, and he replied directly:
“No.”
As expected, Liang Sheng didn’t have much of a reaction, though the light in his already dim eyes faded even further.
“Then I don’t love you anymore, either.”
He didn’t know where the courage came from, nor how much determination it took to utter such cruel words.
Shen Xingyu’s eyes shook. The faint sunlight from outside fell on his face, highlighting a sickly pallor.
The air solidified, leaving only the ticking of the clock.
Tick. Tock. Each second hammered away at his collapsing world.
What did Liang Sheng just say?
He doesn’t love him anymore?
He didn’t believe it!
How could Liang Sheng possibly not love him?!
Clearly, over these years, he had been unable to live without him!
No matter how much he used Su Nian to humiliate and test his little wife, the other party had always loved him without complaint!
To suddenly say he didn’t love him now—was it just to spite him?
Liang Sheng felt the chill radiating from the man, but he didn’t want to apologize, nor did he have the strength to argue. He stood up to leave but was grabbed by the wrist and thrown violently back onto the bed.
He sank into the soft bedding, his head spinning. It took him a long while to react.
Just as he regained a bit of clarity, the man loomed over him, pinning him down. His eyes were blood-red as he stared at him, his voice a dark, terrifying rasp Liang Sheng had never heard before: “Say it again.”
“Move away!”
Liang Sheng pushed hard against his chest. Although he had just said he didn’t love him, his eyes still didn’t dare face him.
Shen Xingyu grabbed his struggling hands and pinned them above his head. He then pointed at himself like a madman who had lost his logic, appearing both incredulous and panicked:
“Look into my eyes and say it to my face. Tell me you don’t love me anymore. Say it! Say it again!”
“Y-you’re crazy! You’re hurting me!”
Liang Sheng felt like his wrist was about to be snapped. Tears welled up instantly as he glared at him with grievance, screaming while he struggled.
Since he didn’t love him anymore, why the hysterical questioning? Shouldn’t he feel liberated? Without a thick-skinned person like him locking him down with love, he could finally be with his lover.
“Say it! Liang Sheng, say you don’t love me. Isn’t that what you just said? Say it again!”
Shen Xingyu was emotional, pressing for an answer relentlessly. His eyes were red enough to drip blood. He wished he could pierce through the shell of Liang Sheng’s body to look at his heart—to see if there was still any place for him inside!
Just as Liang Sheng didn’t understand, Shen Xingyu didn’t understand why he was so stubborn, either.
The moment he heard Liang Sheng defy or betray him, or saw any sign that the other didn’t love him, he would become extremely sensitive, extremely crazed, even pathologically wanting to destroy everything about Liang Sheng.
Liang Sheng had never seen him lose control like this. He knew he had touched the man’s “reverse scale.”
This was fine, too. Since the man was always angering him, he wanted to see exactly how many bottom lines Shen Xingyu had.
Liang Sheng took a deep breath, forcing himself to look the man in the eye. Finally, hardening his heart, he admitted:
“Yes, I just don’t love you anymore, Shen Xingyu. I’ve… I’ve had enough of you! Loving you is too exhausting; I really can’t do it anymore!”
He said it all in one breath. Once finished, his entire body went limp, his chest heaving as he panted.
Shen Xingyu was dazed for several seconds. His mind was a blank, with only Liang Sheng’s words attacking the weakest part of his heart. So, was everything Su Rao said true?
Liang Sheng had personally said he didn’t love him anymore.
It shouldn’t be like this. He didn’t believe it!
But his heart hurt so, so much.
Shen Xingyu shook his head as if he hadn’t heard Liang Sheng’s words. His hands trembled as they cupped the small face. With a look that was half-crying and half-laughing, his eyes shone with a sickly possessiveness:
“It doesn’t matter, Shengsheng. It’s enough that I love you.”
“You love me? Heh…”
Liang Sheng bitter-laughed through his tears. Shen Xingyu’s unexpected behavior gave him the confidence to continue:
“Have you ever loved me? Over these years, even though I’ve told you countless times how much we once loved each other, you still didn’t believe me. You just hurt me again and again!”
Shen Xingyu was rendered speechless.
He was caught off guard, not knowing how to deal with this suddenly firm Liang Sheng, nor how to accept it.
“Even if a heart were made of stone, after so many years, it should have been warmed, right? But no. To you, I’m just like a dog—you beckon when you need me and discard me whenever you don’t…”
Liang Sheng continued. This person had never known how to cherish him. He had wanted to say these things long ago, but before, for his mother’s sake, for that humble love, and for his promise to the Old Master, he could only compromise. No matter how sad he was, he didn’t dare defy the man.
Now, he had nothing. His mother was dead, his husband didn’t love him, he had no money to treat his stomach cancer, he couldn’t go back home, his reputation was ruined, and he had nothing but a wretched life. He had nothing left to fear.
“Good, very good, Liang Sheng. You’re truly being this heartless to me for someone else’s sake. Aren’t you afraid of death?”
Shen Xingyu forced his face around. His sickly tenderness vanished, suddenly replaced by a surge of violence. He would not allow anyone else in Liang Sheng’s heart! And he certainly wouldn’t let him leave!
“I was going to die anyway…”
Liang Sheng looked at him wearily. He no longer believed a single word about “love” coming from this man; it was all fake, all deception.
Shen Xingyu’s thoughts were entirely consumed by the fact that the other didn’t love him. He didn’t pay attention to that sentence at all.
“Then I’ll make sure you realize that besides me, you have no one to rely on. I’ll make it so you only have me.”
He leaned down to Liang Sheng’s ear, his voice as gentle as a whisper, yet leaking an endless, dark malice and cruelty.
Liang Sheng shivered with cold. He suddenly found this man terrifying; he simply refused to let him go…
“W-what do you want to do…?”
He asked with a trembling voice, his fingers clutching the corner of the blanket, trying to find some support.
“Be good. Don’t think too much. Just have a good sleep.”
Shen Xingyu lightly pressed a kiss to his forehead. He then stood up, pulled the blanket over him, and covered him up.
Liang Sheng didn’t dare move. He couldn’t understand what Shen Xingyu was doing; he wanted to ask but was too afraid.
His intuition told him nothing good would happen.
“I’ll wait for you to wake up.”
Shen Xingyu spoke flatly before turning to leave.
The moment the door closed, Liang Sheng felt even more lost.
The footsteps in the hallway grew further and further away.
Just like that… he left?
He was surprised. Had Shen Xingyu actually let him go?
No, the man certainly wouldn’t be that kind-hearted!
Liang Sheng gritted his teeth, wanting to get up, but he didn’t know if the medicine was having side effects. His entire body was weak and limp; he couldn’t climb up no matter what. His eyes also grew heavier and heavier. He was suddenly very sleepy. With the interruption from Shen Xingyu earlier, he hadn’t managed to sleep yet.
Drowsy.
He soon fell asleep.
The door opened again. A dark shadow walked in and stood by his bed. After watching for a long time, he finally murmured:
“Don’t blame me, Shengsheng.”
“I only want to make it so you can only rely on me.”
The veil of night descended, yet no moonlight could be seen.
The dark clouds were heavy, as if suppressing something.
Liang Sheng was woken by the cold.
Dazed, he felt the soft mattress beneath him had disappeared. It was cold and hard, poking uncomfortably into his back.
His eyes blinked, his vision gradually clearing.
The moment he saw the night sky and the darkness, Liang Sheng’s eyes snapped wide. He struggled to sit up from the ground.
Where… where was this?!
He was surrounded by pitch-black darkness.
Using the faint light from a distant lighthouse, he realized where he was. It was a deserted island!
The seawater surged violently. Tall trees blotted out the sky, rustling in the wind as their branches and leaves swayed.
The chirping of various unknown insects rose and fell.
Something was hidden behind the bushes, its eerie green eyes blinking.
“Ah!”
Liang Sheng screamed in terror, thinking he was dreaming. He hurriedly slapped his cheeks with both hands.
It hurt. It wasn’t a dream!
His legs went weak. He had no idea why he had appeared in a place like this! Wasn’t he sleeping at home? Could it be… could it be that Shen Xingyu had dumped him here?!
Liang Sheng’s spine went cold, his heart nearly leaping out of his throat. He wanted to flee but couldn’t move his feet. He could only stand frozen in place, not knowing what to do!
“Sh-Shen Xingyu… W-why did you throw me here… Where are you?! Take me away!”
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