Chapter 172: Telling Jokes
Tell a joke? In a situation where failure meant disaster?
This was practically asking for Rong Xie’s life!
With Rong Xie’s naturally uninteresting personality—asking him to tell a joke to make someone laugh was worse than assigning him a difficult ancient text to memorize!
But wait, ancient books also contained many jokes—lowbrow, highbrow, biting… they had everything. Moreover, those were jokes that had stood the test of time; if they weren’t the most popular jokes of their era, they wouldn’t have been recorded in joke books.
However, he could only tell one joke. To make Elder Red laugh with just one joke when he didn’t even know what Elder Red found funny or what kind of jokes he liked—how was he supposed to choose? What if he chose wrong and Elder Red didn’t laugh at all, and they were kicked out? What then?
Rong Xie was having an internal struggle, sweat nearly breaking out on his brow, when Shen Bingsi said quickly, “I’ll tell one first.”
Rong Xie immediately looked at Shen Bingsi. Shen Bingsi had a calm expression, with a faint, seemingly non-existent smile at the corner of his mouth. He clearly felt that the joke he was about to tell was very funny. Rong Xie originally wanted to stop him to discuss a strategy, but seeing his confidence, Rong Xie held back. He silently prayed in his heart while sending out his spiritual sense to approach the bamboo tower and listen carefully to the movements inside.
“I was out catching demons once and passed by a county magistrate’s office. I happened to see them hearing a case inside. Cases in small places are always strange.” Shen Bingsi had a weird smile on his face, as if he was struggling to hold back laughter. “There was a plaintiff who got into a fight with the defendant and knocked out two of the defendant’s teeth. You must be wondering: since the one beaten most severely was the defendant, why didn’t the defendant sue while the plaintiff did? It turns out they were best friends. After finishing their work, they were eating together. That day, it was the plaintiff’s favorite dish—vinegar-glazed cabbage. Just as he was eating happily, the defendant let out a stinky fart!”
“…” Although Rong Xie really wanted to laugh, this joke was too lowbrow! He carefully listened to the movements in the bamboo tower, hoping Elder Red would be successfully caught off guard by this sudden lowbrow joke—unfortunately, there was no sound at all.
Fortunately, Shen Bingsi hadn’t finished: “That fart was unbearably foul and ruined the plaintiff’s mood. Not only could the plaintiff not eat anymore at that time, but later, whenever he thought of vinegar-glazed cabbage, it would be accompanied by the shadow of that stinky fart. The more the plaintiff thought about it, the angrier he got. Finally, he couldn’t help but grab the defendant and beat him severely. Although the defendant felt wronged, he hadn’t expected to leave such a shadow on his good friend, so he accepted the beating. They thought this small conflict between friends was over, but unexpectedly, the plaintiff’s shadow grew even worse until he couldn’t even eat.”
“…” Rong Xie looked at Shen Bingsi. The plaintiff was overreacting; this was becoming uninteresting. There must be more.
Fortunately, Shen Bingsi did not disappoint and continued, “When the magistrate heard this, he wondered what kind of ‘fart case’ this was. But if he ended it hastily, the plaintiff would surely be unsatisfied. He stood up and scolded, ‘You are suing the wrong person! When your friend farted that day and smelled you out, it was indeed his fault. You beat him, so that matter is considered settled. In the following days, the stinky fart continued to disturb you—that wasn’t your friend’s fault, it was the fart’s fault! You should sue the fart, not your friend!'”
“…” Rong Xie wanted to laugh again. Unfortunately, there was still no movement in the bamboo tower, and Guardian Siju, who stood nearby, was expressionless. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he liked Shen Bingsi that he found all his jokes particularly funny.
“The plaintiff thought it made sense and left immediately. The magistrate thought the matter was over, but half a day later, the plaintiff returned, rewrote the petition, and really wanted to sue the fart. By then, the case was already famous; people from all over the county came to listen, and even someone like me passing by couldn’t help but listen in. Seeing the matter grow large, the magistrate wanted to drive the plaintiff out with a club, but in front of everyone, he had to follow the procedure. In his anger, he threw the mess to a small bailiff and told him to go arrest the defendant.”
“A stinky fart from half a month ago—how was the small bailiff supposed to arrest it? But the task assigned by the magistrate had to be completed. After some head-scratching, the bailiff pulled the farting friend aside, whispered a few words, and the two of them left the office one after the other. No one knew where they went to find the fart.”
“…” This time, Rong Xie’s curiosity was piqued. He hadn’t expected the joke to have so many twists and turns. He couldn’t help but stare at Shen Bingsi. “What happened next?”
Shen Bingsi smiled and said, “The magistrate certainly didn’t expect the bailiff to actually bring the culprit back. He was just waiting for him to return and say he couldn’t find anyone, then he would declare the culprit ‘at large,’ dock the bailiff’s wages slightly to appease the plaintiff’s anger, and the case would be closed.”
“Who knew the bailiff would return quickly, holding a box in his hands. He ran up to the magistrate’s desk and presented the box, shouting, ‘The culprit has escaped, but I have a family member here! Please interrogate them, Your Honor!'”
Shen Bingsi intentionally paused to build suspense. Finally, Rong Xie heard the sound of clothes rubbing inside the bamboo tower, and Guardian Siju also looked over.
“The magistrate was surprised. He opened the box, and his face changed drastically. Inside was a piece of dried dung. The bailiff explained, ‘This was produced by the plaintiff’s friend on the day of the crime. Fortunately, the family member is honest and did not flee. I captured them together with the plaintiff’s friend from the dry latrine. Please interrogate them strictly, Your Honor, and be sure to ask for the culprit’s whereabouts.'”
Silence fell over the surroundings.
“Pffft…” Rong Xie couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Even Guardian Siju had a smile on his face. A series of coughs came from the bamboo tower, clearly trying to hide something…
“Well done!” Rong Xie nudged Shen Bingsi’s elbow. In his pride, Shen Bingsi couldn’t help but cough again.
Rong Xie moved slightly away from him and bowed to the bamboo tower. “Bingsi has traveled far and wide and seen much. Although this joke is… ahem, a bit lowbrow, it is also simple and honest. Since Elder Red has laughed, please fulfill your promise and teach us the method to switch paths.”
“Who said… pffft… who said I laughed?” Elder Red’s voice came from the bamboo tower, acting like a rogue.
Rong Xie’s eyes widened in shock. “You clearly laughed… you’re still laughing while saying those words!”
“I didn’t laugh!” Elder Red flatly denied it. “A joke of this level wants to make me laugh? I want to hear something more high-level, something that can’t be heard anywhere else…”
“You!” Rong Xie gritted his teeth. This old scoundrel was a Sect Leader, yet he was playing rogue in public… Unfortunately, this was his territory. If he said he didn’t laugh, his disciples wouldn’t deny it. “If Elder Red doesn’t want to teach us, you can say so directly. There’s no need to play with people like this. If I tell a joke and you laugh, you could still say you didn’t. What’s the point of me telling one then?”
“Stupid. You still haven’t understood my meaning,” Elder Red sighed. “How can someone with such an intelligent face have such a blockheaded mind?”
“Old scoundrel! What nonsense are you talking!” Shen Bingsi, who was still smiling, immediately became furious upon hearing him insult Rong Xie.
Rong Xie, however, seemed to have caught some meaning from Elder Red’s words. He wasn’t certain, so he pressed Shen Bingsi’s shoulder to tell him to calm down.
“Elder Red wants to hear something that can’t be heard elsewhere? Does that mean a joke only the two of us know?” Rong Xie asked tentatively.
“Exactly. At least you’re quick-witted,” Elder Red’s voice held a bit more satisfaction.
Rong Xie seemed to know what kind of joke Elder Red wanted to hear. It was just… he felt a bit embarrassed to say it.
“We will certainly tell you what you want to hear. However… given how you just went back on your word, we can’t tell you right now.” Rong Xie paused. “You have to tell us the method to switch paths first.”
“Hah!” Elder Red was somewhat surprised. “Little fellow, you’ve learned to bargain? Right now you are the ones begging me, not the other way around. How do you know I must hear that broken joke?”
“Because only we know it,” Rong Xie said calmly.
Elder Red choked.
Shen Bingsi was still confused and asked Rong Xie in a low voice, “What joke is there that only the two of us know?”
“…Elder Bai’s joke,” Rong Xie replied to Shen Bingsi in a low voice.
Shen Bingsi straightened up, suddenly enlightened. The look in his eyes as he turned back to the bamboo tower became subtle.
This old scoundrel, tsk!
This twisted former disciple relationship!
“Hmph, so stingy,” Elder Red complained, having overheard their conversation. The door to the bamboo tower opened, and an old man wearing a pink robe embroidered with large red flowers stepped out. The royal-blue peacock suddenly leaped up, landing on the second-floor railing, and began to fan its tail wildly at Elder Red.
“A-bao, it’s Grandpa. Look closely, it’s Grandpa.” Elder Red waved his arms to shoo the peacock away. “Grandpa needs to talk to the guests. A-bao, can you stop blocking Grandpa?”
The royal-blue peacock tilted its head and watched for a while, then folded its tail feathers and hopped onto the roof.
Rong Xie had never seen an elderly person dressed like that; he suffered a great deal of visual impact and was momentarily stunned.
The pink-robed old man turned around. From the second floor, he looked down at Rong Xie and Shen Bingsi. “Teaching you the method to switch paths isn’t impossible. However, not just anyone can learn my method. I must ask you some questions first.”
Rong Xie’s spirit was bolstered; it seemed there was hope. “Please ask, Elder Red!”
“You two—when was the last time you practiced dual cultivation?” Elder Red asked directly.
The question was so blunt that Rong Xie immediately looked away, heat rising in his neck and cheeks. He didn’t want to discuss such questions with an old man dressed like a butterfly at all.
Furthermore, how did Elder Red know their relationship? He didn’t ask “have you practiced dual cultivation,” but asked “when was the last time”!
“Hehe, little child.” Elder Red shook his head contemptuously. “You underestimate me too much. That little matter between you two was fully exposed during the joke-telling just now. Poor Guardian Siju is still single, yet he had to watch the two of you perform for so long; his mood must be terrible right now.”
As he spoke, Elder Red glanced at the black-clad guardian. Guardian Siju crossed his arms and turned around, giving Elder Red only the back of his head.
“It wasn’t that long ago,” Shen Bingsi coughed. Thinking of something, he coughed several more times.
“Ah, youth, such vibrant blood and qi,” Elder Red sighed. “The Dao heart shattering isn’t a recent thing, is it? Practicing dual cultivation while your Dao heart is broken… you little children are truly… promising!”
Rong Xie really wanted to cover his ears, but he couldn’t afford not to listen. He stiffened his neck and asked, “Does the Elder have any more questions? Perhaps we can go upstairs to talk?”
“No need. I’ve finished asking.” Elder Red waved his pink sleeve. “My method—the two of you can learn it.”
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