Chapter 71: Hating Himself For Not Being Cruel Enough
“Don’t chop off my fingers…! No! Ahhhh! I was wrong! Don’t chop off my fingers!”
The woman on the bed let out a hysterical scream. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her brows furrowed into a deep ‘川’ shape. She kept mumbling incessantly, cold sweat beading on her forehead, groaning in agony.
Her hands tightly gripped the blanket, and her two injured legs kicked wildly in the air, as if she were experiencing something horrific. Even her broken voice carried a heavy sob; she looked incredibly terrified.
This sudden change startled Jian An. He hurriedly put down the towel and held her hands down to prevent the IV from backflowing. For a moment, he was at a loss for what to do and could only call out anxiously:
“Mom! Wake up, it’s me! Xiao An! No one is chopping your fingers off anymore. Don’t be afraid, it’s all over!”
It was only after he repeated this several times that Zhou Manxiang gradually calmed down, and her cries ceased.
In the next second, she abruptly opened her bloodshot eyes. Upon seeing the youth in front of her, she screamed in terror, clutching her head tightly with both hands and curling up her body:
“Don’t come near me! I was wrong… don’t chop off my fingers, don’t pull my teeth…!”
But due to the missing front tooth, combined with her excessive crying and screaming in the underground casino, her voice was not only leaking air but was also hoarse and unpleasant, as if coming from a broken gong. It had lost all its usual delicacy and flirtatiousness.
Jian An gently shook her arm, pointing at himself to signal her to look over. As he spoke, his heart felt incredibly sour:
“Mom, I’m Xiao An! Those people aren’t here anymore. No one will bully you again. You’re really safe now. Mom, look at me, I’m your son!”
Hearing these words, Zhou Manxiang finally slowly returned to reality from her terror. She lowered her hands bit by bit. Her tear-filled eyes stared fixedly at the face full of heartache and worry before her. For a moment, her mind went blank.
She held her breath, still recovering from the shock. Her bruised and battered hand trembled as she pointed at him, asking in a low voice:
“You are… Xiao An?”
Seeing her like this, Jian An began to blame himself for not making his mother realize the dangers of gambling sooner, which had led to this irreversible situation and trauma.
He subtly turned his head to wipe the corner of his eye, trying his best to put on a joyful expression, but his voice inevitably choked up:
“Yes, Mom, it’s me, Xiao An. Are you feeling unwell anywhere right now? Should I call a doctor to take a look at you? Please don’t move around or run anymore…”
As soon as he finished speaking, Zhou Manxiang’s facial features suddenly contorted. Whatever she thought of, the emotion that had just calmed down instantly turned into violent rage. Then, without hesitation, she raised a leg and viciously kicked the youth in the abdomen!
Jian An had been completely immersed in his concern for her and didn’t even have a chance to react. Caught completely off guard, he was kicked to the floor, a sharp, agonizing cramp instantly shooting through his abdomen.
The kick sent him curling into a ball on the floor. It felt as if his body had been impaled by something. The pain was so intense he clutched his stomach tightly with both hands, unable to recover for a long time.
Seeing this, Ji Songting’s expression changed. He immediately strode in, crouched down to help him up, and his voice was actually tinged with a trace of concern and anxiety: “Are you alright?”
However, the other party seemed unwilling to be touched by his body. Jian An subconsciously pulled back the hand that had been grasped. Without saying a word, he merely forced himself to shake his head.
Ji Songting’s eyes darkened, showing a moment of distraction and displeasure. He looked down at his own fingers, rubbed his fingertips together lightly, and then let his hand drop to his side.
Jian An stood unsteadily, wanting to straighten his back, but the violent kick had reopened his unhealed wounds, forcing him to remain slightly hunched over.
He was sweating profusely from the pain, yet he endured it, refusing to let himself collapse at this moment.
“Mom… you…?”
He looked in disbelief at the disheveled woman on the bed, his brows furrowed tightly in pain. He truly couldn’t understand what he had done wrong. He had broken his forehead begging for his mother’s life, only to receive a public kick in return.
The corners of Jian An’s mouth twitched slightly, unable to utter a single word. His eyes were already brimming with tears. When he lightly closed and reopened his eyelids, the tears slid down like pearls from a broken string.
At this moment, he felt an immense exhaustion. Even if he were given all the things he had once longed for, or even the whole world, it would still fail to stir the slightest ripple in his heart.
He thought that his heart had truly died completely.
That vicious kick thoroughly shattered his initial thought of taking Zhou Manxiang to Jiangnan. He only hated himself for not being cruel enough. If he could have been just a bit crueler, perhaps he wouldn’t be in so much pain right now.
Zhou Manxiang sat up from the bed. Her entire face appeared hideous and terrifying due to anger and humiliation. The venom in her eyes threatened to devour a person whole.
She first raised a trembling arm to touch her bandaged cheek and the missing front tooth. The emotion in her eyes suddenly turned to horror and disbelief.
Jian An wanted to step forward to comfort her, but fearing he might agitate her further, he didn’t dare to move. He could only stand in place, trying his best to make his voice sound gentle and calm:
“Mom, don’t be like this. Your tooth… the doctor said you can get a crown, it won’t have any impact.”
In the next second, Zhou Manxiang suddenly raised her hand and violently grabbed her own hair a few times, pulling with a force that seemed intended to vent her hatred. Then, she pounded heavily on the pillow beside her, leaving clear, repeated fist indentations on it.
“Mom, what are you doing…?”
Jian An had just stepped forward to stop her when she ruthlessly shoved him away. Then, glaring fiercely at the youth before her, she cursed through gritted teeth:
“Get lost! Seeing me like this, you feel relieved, don’t you? Are you extremely happy? So happy you can’t sleep at night, is that it? What kind of dog thing are you? Are you worthy?! Do you even deserve to laugh at me? Hurry up and go die!!”
Hearing those words, Jian An felt as if his heart had been ruthlessly squeezed, the pain suffocating him.
Clutching his chest, he looked at the crazed woman before him, instantly feeling as though he had been plunged into an ice cellar.
If Zhou Manxiang had cursed him or humiliated him like this under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as it did now. Were all his sacrifices truly so worthless…?
Ji Songting seemed to notice his sorrow. Standing behind him, he frowned slightly with a critical expression, but his indifferent eyes vaguely held a deep complexity.
The solitary figure before him suddenly seemed to exude a sense of being abandoned by the whole world.
He didn’t know why, but watching Jian An standing there dumbly, looking helpless and lonely, for the first time, he didn’t feel a sense of gratification or irony. Instead, an inexplicable emotion sprouted—something resembling pity, mixed with a bit of sympathy.
This baffling feeling made him want to step forward, embrace the person, and comfort him. Yet, his feet felt as heavy as lead, unable to move even an inch…
With this thought unprovokedly emerging in his mind, Ji Songting felt he must have gone mad. He rarely developed such emotions toward anyone, yet now he was actually feeling heartache for the cheap person who had killed his mother? Absolutely absurd!
Jian An bit his lip tightly. His arms twitched slightly, but he didn’t reach out to soothe the woman. He merely shook his head frantically. Physically and mentally exhausted, he muttered:
“Mom… I really didn’t think that way. I was very worried about you. As a son… how could I laugh at my own mother? What would that make me…?”
“You just did! I am not your mom!”
Zhou Manxiang roared hysterically. Immediately after, she grabbed the pillow and smashed it fiercely against him, loudly accusing:
“You must have been standing on the sidelines watching me be humiliated by those people! And you didn’t come to save me, did you?! You watched them ride on top of me… spit on my face, tie my hands, stick their toes into my mouth…!”
As she spoke, she grew more agitated, her voice growing hoarser. Her teeth were nearly grinding to dust, and she practically burst into tears by the end.
Just thinking about the nightmare-like ordeal she had faced made her whole body tremble violently. She never imagined that one day she would be bullied to such an extent by those people!
Hearing her recount the heartbreaking scenes he had witnessed with his own eyes made Jian An feel even worse and more guilty. His body suddenly stiffened, as if he had been struck by lightning.
In the next second, his already numb legs once again knelt before the hospital bed. He reached out to grasp Zhou Manxiang, his fingers trembling. Unable to suppress the guilt in his heart, he said:
“Mom…! I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I really tried my best to save you, but I’m useless. I’m of no use at all. I couldn’t do anything but beg someone else to save you. Seeing you treated like that by them…”
At this point, Jian An’s throat choked up. For a moment, the words became hard to speak. Afraid of triggering his mother’s pain again, he sniffled, lowered his head, and sobbed uncontrollably:
“Mom, it’s my fault for not protecting you…”
Such incompetence made him feel like a completely useless person, forever unable to protect the things or people he cared about. He resented Ji Songting, but he also hated himself.
Listening to those heartbroken apologies, Zhou Manxiang didn’t feel any better. Instead, it only fueled her anger further. She pulled her hand back in disgust, her emotions flaring up again, and roared:
“It’s all your fault! It’s all because of you—!!”
With that, she turned to look at the items on the table, as if searching for something to vent her anger on. She grabbed a glass water cup, raised it high, and was about to smash it down onto the youth’s head!
Jian An was equally unable to forgive himself for not saving her in time. He remained kneeling there in a daze, his eyes squeezed shut, allowing whatever she threw to hit him.
If doing this could make his mother feel a bit better, what did a broken head matter? Perhaps it would be a relief if it killed him…
Anyway, he didn’t have many days left to live.
As a crisp sound of a glass cup striking bone echoed by his ear, the anticipated agonizing pain never came. It seemed something had blocked the space in front of his eyes.
Jian An slowly opened his eyes, only to see a hand with distinct knuckles shielding his forehead. It took the brunt of the glass water cup, and the area instantly turned bright red.
He looked up in disbelief, staring blankly at the man standing beside him.
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