Chapter 7: The Pervert’s DM — Ge Is Mine, Who Do You Think You Are?
For some reason, the atmosphere was a bit subtle. Jiang Yunian’s eyes darted around, and he added, “Didn’t you say your hands were weak? I’ll scrub your back for you.”
Scrubbing the back.
He thought…
Well, that works too.
Jiang Yan stuffed the towel into his hands, his fingertips grazing Jiang Yunian’s palm. “Then I’ll have to trouble Ge.”
Jiang Yunian followed Jiang Yan into the bathroom and started running the water for the bath. Hot water gurgled out, and soon, steam filled the narrow space.
Jiang Yan stripped down efficiently and sat in the bathtub. Jiang Yunian crouched behind him, holding the exfoliating mitt, gently wiping his broad back, moving inch by inch downward. His fingertips occasionally brushed against firm muscles, the touch warm to the skin.
At such a close distance, Jiang Yunian’s eyes couldn’t help but slide toward those superior shoulder lines, secretly clicking his tongue in admiration.
Sexy.
“Ge, don’t just scrub one spot,” Jiang Yan suddenly spoke up. “Scrub the front too.”
Jiang Yunian snapped back to reality, surprised. “You can’t reach the front either?”
Didn’t he say just scrub the back?
Jiang Yan turned his head slightly, water droplets sliding down his temples, revealing a look of difficulty that didn’t seem deliberate at all. “It hurts if I lift my arms too high.”
That tone was even laced with a bit of grievance.
He even “thoughtfully” added that washing just the upper body was fine; he would do the rest himself.
The rest? Nonsense, surely he didn’t expect me to wash that too?
Even when he was injured most severely, Jiang Yunian hadn’t attended to him that carefully.
“Forget it. If Ge isn’t willing, I’ll do it myself. I’ll just bear the pain, it will pass.”
As he spoke, he reached for the towel, inadvertently exposing that slightly猙獰 (hideous) scar on his arm. It made one’s heart soften instantly, leading to immediate compromise.
“Don’t move, let me do it.”
Jiang Yunian held him down and moved to crouch by the side of the bathtub. His eyes subconsciously swept over the water’s surface, breathing a sigh of relief. Fortunately, the key parts under the water are covered by a white towel, avoiding an awkward face-to-face encounter.
But unexpectedly, the moment he looked up, he was firmly transfixed by the bulging abdominal muscles under the water.
He had avoided looking just now, but now magnified right before his eyes, the strong visual impact made Jiang Yunian’s nose feel hot.
Why did I almost get a nosebleed just looking at a man… I wasn’t even this excited looking at Eddie Peng’s posters before. Damn it.
Jiang Yunian couldn’t help but steal another glance.
Crap!
His pecs are this big too?
The bathroom was strangely quiet aside from the sound of water. Jiang Yunian blurted it out in a moment of hot-headedness. By the time he realized it, his hand had developed a mind of its own, poking curiously.
The cold white skin underneath instantly tensed up, rock hard.
Jiang Yan must have lifted a lot of iron before losing his memory; this texture is incredible.
“Like it?”
Jiang Yan felt the cool touch and suppressed the corners of his mouth that were almost curling up. “Training pecs isn’t actually hard. If Ge likes it, I can help you.”
How to help? Fitness training?
Jiang Yunian waved his hand. “Let’s forget it, gym memberships are expensive.”
The gym industry nowadays ran deep; coaches were always pushing sales. Aside from spending money, results weren’t guaranteed. Boys in his class were duped into signing up; after a few months, no muscles were seen, but they had consumed plenty of protein powder.
Jiang Yan glanced at his slightly thin chest, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His tone carried a hint of coaxing. “No need to go to the gym; massage works too.”
Massage?
Jiang Yunian frowned. Massage that place? What’s the difference from kneading… breasts? It’s not like I’m a woman.
His shallow knowledge in this area was limited to pumping iron; this was the first time he had heard of such a method.
“Is it useful? How do you know?”
“It’s written in books.” Jiang Yan looked sincere, explaining the principles with terminology that sounded quite professional. The logic was tight, impossible to pick flaws in. “Ge can try it.”
“If the effect isn’t obvious, just do it a few more times. Everyone’s constitution is different.”
“But, doing it yourself won’t work, right?” When Jiang Yunian asked this, he completely failed to notice the other’s instantly heavier breathing. Jiang Yan suppressed the restlessness below, his tone as serious as it could get. “If Ge doesn’t mind, I can help. It just so happens I need to practice my hand strength to recover faster.”
Jiang Yunian felt like a kitten was scratching at his heart—curious and tempted. But he still harbored doubts about this unheard-of “folk remedy.” Whether it was scientific remained to be seen, but associating it with Jiang Yan’s recent obsession with idol dramas, he felt something was off. He mumbled vaguely, “…Let’s talk about it later.”
“Ge doesn’t trust my technique?” The light in Jiang Yan’s eyes dimmed visibly.
Seeing the eagerness in his eyes turn into disappointment, the doubt in Jiang Yunian’s heart wavered again.
Jiang Yan is so certain. Could it be that his… were also kneaded big?
This thought gave Jiang Yunian a strange feeling.
“No, it’s a bit late today. N-next time.” Jiang Yunian quickly shifted his attention, burying his head and scrubbing vigorously, as serious as if he were conducting a group experiment.
Next time… Jiang Yan lowered his eyes, the emotions in his depths indiscernible, his thoughts unknown.
Toward the end of the wash, having squatted for too long, his legs were so numb they didn’t feel like his own. Jiang Yunian held onto the edge of the bathtub trying to stand up, but his foot slipped suddenly, and he lost his balance, falling forward.
Jiang Yan reacted extremely fast, reaching out to catch him. In the panic, Jiang Yunian grabbed blindly with both hands trying to steady himself, but accidentally slapped away the helping hand and fell straight into the bathtub.
Splash!
In an instant, water splashed everywhere. Jiang Yunian’s upper body pressed into the water, his head almost touching the surface. One hand tightly gripped Jiang Yan’s arm, while the other propped against his solid chest, feeling that powerful, drum-like heartbeat.
Jiang Yan let out a muffled groan, his face looking a bit unwell. Jiang Yunian snapped to his senses, realizing he might have pressed on a wound, and retracted his hand as if electrocuted. He scrambled to use leverage to get up, but heard another suppressed groan from the person beneath him. At the same time, the thing he was grabbing in his hand had unknowingly changed location. That texture—soft with a strange roughness, like a towel, but also… not quite.
Immediately, Jiang Yunian sucked in a cold breath and let go abruptly.
“I-I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Yunian got up in a sorry state, his small face dripping with water, full of guilt and helplessness. “How is it… didn’t break anything by grabbing it, right?”
The mist drifting in the air blurred Jiang Yan’s expression. After a long silence, he squeezed out two words: “It’s fine.”
“Your injury…”
Jiang Yunian was still uneasy, worried about his wound. He wanted to check but felt that after what just happened, looking again would be impolite.
“Really fine.” Jiang Yan emphasized his tone. His expression quickly returned to calm, as if the chaos just now was merely an illusion. He even pulled the corner of his mouth into a comforting smile. “I’ll do the rest myself.”
Jiang Yunian finally breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. He bent to pick up the towel that had fallen on the floor. The scene from just now flashed through his mind, and he looked up at Jiang Yan’s hand, surprised and suspicious.
“Isn’t your hand…”
The force Jiang Yan used to pull him just now was surprisingly strong; how did it look like he had no strength?
Jiang Yunian realized he had been tricked.
Jiang Yan paused slightly, guiltlessly admiring the expression of someone who had just realized they were duped. Finally, he couldn’t help but hook a smile. “It was Ge who volunteered to help me.”
The implication was clear: I didn’t beg you; you offered yourself up.
Jiang Yunian was rendered speechless and could only feign anger with a glare. Jiang Yan laughed from the water, saying if Ge didn’t leave, this bath… couldn’t be finished.
Jiang Yunian was curling his toes in embarrassment. Hearing this, he threw the towel over Jiang Yan’s head and fled the bathroom.
The sound of water settled, and the bathroom gradually returned to silence.
The smile on Jiang Yan’s face vanished completely. He tilted his head back in irritation, his eyes dyed with a touch of darkness and unextinguished desire.
By the time the fire was thoroughly quelled, it was late at night. A dim night light was on in the room. Jiang Yan leaned against the headboard, flipping through his Ge’s photo album, still wanting more.
This had become his habit over the past few days. When his Ge wasn’t around, he would go through the photos on that old phone and… use them.
What was disappointing was that some eyesores always appeared in the photos.
In one photo, Jiang Yunian wore a faded school uniform, leaning greenly against a girl’s shoulder, making a cheesy peace sign at the camera. There weren’t many photos in total, but this pretty girl occupied the majority, seemingly very familiar with him.
The ghostly blue light hit his expressionless face, making it look terrifyingly pale. He slowly tightened his fingers around the phone case, making a subtle, teeth-aching sound as if he were about to crush it. But a moment later, he placed the phone face down on the table, picked up the neglected iPhone from the bedside, and opened Jiang Yunian’s Weibo.
These days, he had only posted a few candid landscape photos. But this time, a girl had unexpectedly mixed into the post, bearing a high resemblance to the one in the album.
In the photo, the girl occupied the absolute center. Jiang Yunian only showed half a blurry profile. The cheap wig looked perfectly natural on him; the slightly curled hair draped over his shoulder. Combined with the filter, it cleverly softened the outline of his Adam’s apple. That androgynous beauty was enough to hook up countless obscene fantasies.
Jiang Yan narrowed his eyes and zoomed in on the photo. The writing on the street sign exposed in the corner was faintly legible: Xichun Road.
The comment section this time was much livelier than usual. Fans praised one after another, and it even attracted many passersby who mistook him for a girl.
[Flat Sheep: The young ladies are all so beautiful (mwah)]
[Strawberry Cute Little: Eh? So the OP is a girl. Looking at the profile bio, I thought it was a boy.]
[Dun Dun Disciple: Wow, it’s a wig (drool). Wifey, tell me quickly what happened?]
[Capybara Off Work: Done for, I’m starting to doubt wifey’s sexual orientation.]
[Wifey’s Little Dog: Second floor, regardless of whether wifey likes men or women, I love wifey.]
[Mealtime Old Friend: Can we see a full body shot? Wifey’s waist must be very thin.]
[Totto-chan by the Window: Wifey stickers, want to bury in boobs (shy)]
…
Usually, Jiang Yunian would patiently reply to the praises one by one. This time he only picked two comments to explain that he was a boy and was just wearing a wig. Unexpectedly, after learning the blogger was a boy, the comment section boiled even more. Wild male gazes followed the scent, flooding into the comments and DMs. This battle array startled him, forcing him to urgently modify his bio, declaring that he liked girls, didn’t check DMs often, and men should not disturb.
Although the face couldn’t be seen clearly, the thought of his Ge’s alluring appearance being wantonly ogled by countless eyes made Jiang Yan’s eyes turn red with jealousy. With a dark face, he long-pressed to save the image, then backhandedly reported the few most eyesore-inducing gay comments, his finger pressing down with hostility.
Ge is mine. Who do you think you are?
Jiang Yunian had just lain down, not sleepy at all, so he fished out his phone again.
He scrolled through Weibo in boredom. He had been playing on it for over a year; it wasn’t particularly fun, he just simply treated it as a tree hole to record life. No one knew him here, and he didn’t want to follow strange people. Occasionally he posted something interesting, but inexplicably attracted a group of female fans calling him “Wifey,” accumulating over a thousand intermittently by now. They were all very friendly. Jiang Yunian didn’t have many friends to talk to usually, so interacting in the comment section was quite interesting.
He just hadn’t expected that the casually posted photo this time would trigger such heat.
But it also attracted quite a few vulgar remarks and perverted DMs, mostly from gay men. Jiang Yunian had zero emotional experience and didn’t surf the net often; he had always kept a respectful distance from this kind of circle, behaving very well.
Occasionally clicking into a few DMs, those explicit words were simply blinding. He sent them straight to the block list and changed his bio while he was at it.
He only liked girls, a straight man straight as a die; gay men please spare him.
After changing the bio, the world was finally a bit cleaner. He casually opened an unread DM; the other party was asking him for the wig link.
The username was a bit familiar, called LG, with the same IP as him.
Jiang Yunian clicked into the profile. It was a blank alt account, guessing it was a girl, calling him “Wifey” just like in the comment section.
He typed a reply: The wig was bought a long time ago, no link. Image search online should find it.
[LG: Alright then.]
[LG: But Wifey is drop-dead beautiful wearing the wig. Watching it made my ** get **.]
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