Chapter 3: Picking Up a Man in a Melodramatic Novel
Having just slaughtered a shark and swum to the surface, Song Yilou, his body drenched in bloody water, twitched his ears slightly. He looked up sharply, his eyes still holding a murderous glint as he swept his gaze diagonally backward.
A figure clad in feather-like robes entered his vision—features picturesque, an untainted figure looking down from above.
His fierce eyes widened slightly, becoming rounder, diluting the hostility brought on by the killing.
Before he could speak, Song Yilou was hoisted up by the collar of his clothes by the immortal, plucked from the water like a radish being pulled from the ground with one hand. After a bout of dizziness, the scenery in his vision shifted rapidly.
Amidst 3339’s relentless verbal bombardment, Yun Wuxiang carried the person back to the Daoist temple. Just before stepping through the door, he remembered that the person in his hand was still wet.
Turning to look, he saw that the man’s clothes had been blown half-dry by the wind during their rapid journey.
After a moment’s thought, Yun Wuxiang cast a spell to dry his clothes completely. Although it was a bit late, he couldn’t let someone enter the house soaking wet.
From Song Yilou’s perspective, he saw the immortal glance at him in front of the door, then move a hand within his sleeve.
Immediately after, it felt as if a fresh breeze swept over him. The stickiness of blood and salt adhering to his clothes vanished instantly. His garments were as clean as new, as if he had never fallen into the sea.
Immortal sect magic?
Cleaning my clothes only right before entering—does he not want me to wet the floor?
After casting the spell, Yun Wuxiang regained some rationality and asked, “Do you have any living relatives or friends?”
If there were people waiting for this person to return, he couldn’t selfishly keep him. His voice carried the ethereal quality of an immortal.
Song Yilou, who was secretly observing this White Crane Immortal, had a thought flash through his mind. After hearing Yun Wuxiang’s question, he countered, “Why does the Immortal ask this? Could it be that I have a destiny with immortality, and you intend to take me as a disciple?”
Before Yun Wuxiang could react, 3339 bristled first: [What disciple? Absolutely not!]
[Shizun is one of the highest-risk professions in the transmigration world. You absolutely cannot touch it!]
[Why is Shizun a high-risk profession? Is it easy to die?]
Yun Wuxiang analyzed the System’s words using his limited novel reading experience.
The master dies, then the disciple avenges him, starting a path of revenge. A logical plot development.
[Not only is it easy to die, but there are fates worse than death.]
Not only is it easy to die, but it’s also easy to be locked in a dark room by the disciple! Pinned to the bed to do unspeakable things!
3339 looked at its Host, who was clearly a novice in emotional matters, and silently revised that sentence to be less explicit.
[System, don’t worry. In this script, I am the strongest. No one can beat me.]
Yun Wuxiang had a certain confidence in his combat power. If he hadn’t cultivated too excessively, he wouldn’t have been discovered by the World Consciousness and locked inside the barrier.
[This has nothing to do with strength. It’s easy to dodge a spear in the open, but hard to defend against an arrow in the dark. Anyway, absolutely do not take a disciple. You don’t have a disciple in the script either.]
3339 administered a preventive shot to protect its Host’s chastity.
[Mhm.]
“If I say all my blood relatives are dead, will the Immortal take me in?”
Song Yilou’s voice came closer. Yun Wuxiang snapped back from his communication with 3339 and realized there was a handsome face right in front of him.
Yun Wuxiang had been so focused on fishing the person out earlier that he hadn’t paid attention to what he looked like. He only vaguely knew the person was good-looking, and now seeing him face-to-face, he was indeed very handsome.
Bright, dark eyes and refined yet angular features combined to give him a surprisingly obedient look when he focused on someone.
This person’s aura was also very distinct. If one word had to be used to describe it, it would be “tender.” Not the tender of a baby face or childishness, but the impression that this was a young man—a very young adult.
The most conspicuous feature was the five moles under his eyes: three under the left eye, two under the right, a mix of black and red. So many moles didn’t look out of place on his face; instead, they added a unique charm.
Looking at Song Yilou’s face, Yun Wuxiang understood what his high school female classmates meant when they talked about the “younger puppy dog” type during breaks.
Yun Wuxiang’s attention lingered on Song Yilou’s face for a second before being quickly attracted by something else.
His gaze shifted up to the top of Song Yilou’s head. Yun Wuxiang reached out and smoothed down a stray lock of black hair that was sticking up. The texture of the hair under his fingers was excellent—fine, dense, and fluffy, like the fur of a dog with very long hair.
Song Yilou reflexively wanted to dodge when the hand was raised but forcibly restrained himself. He smiled brilliantly: “Immortal caressing my head, binding hair to receive longevity… Master, are you accepting me?”
[Host! What are you doing?!] 3339 let out a scream like a police siren.
[Grooming.] Yun Wuxiang answered truthfully. Seeing that lock of hair sticking up, he couldn’t resist pressing it back down.
[Who asked you that? He called you Master! Reject him quickly!]
Yun Wuxiang retracted his hand and said calmly, “I do not take disciples.”
Song Yilou’s smile dimmed slightly, seemingly a bit disappointed. “Is there something about me that doesn’t please the Immortal?”
Yun Wuxiang: It’s not a question of pleasing or not…
[Ask him how he got in.] This was still 3339’s primary concern.
[Mhm.] Yun Wuxiang agreed internally, and asked aloud, “Living people cannot enter this island. What are you?”
3339 felt the wording was a bit strange, but it didn’t seem wrong either?
So where exactly is the problem?
For a split second, Song Yilou’s eyes were so deep that no light could penetrate them, but they instantly became clear and bright again. His smile was refreshing and sunny: “Of course I am human.”
He lifted his wrist and extended it to Yun Wuxiang, indicating he could check his pulse. “Do you want to check?”
After waiting a while and seeing no movement from Yun Wuxiang, he put his hand down.
Song Yilou’s accent wasn’t standard; it was mixed with a slight foreign lilt. It was unclear where the accent was from, but the end of every word tilted upward slightly, like little hooks.
“I encountered a storm at sea and drifted here. When I woke up, I saw a shark trying to bite me. It really scared me to death. The Immortal says living people cannot enter this place, yet I came in. Does this prove I have a destiny with the Immortal?”
Yun Wuxiang’s eyelids lifted slightly when he said “scared to death.” Scared to death? That shark is the one that’s actually dead. Who scared whom?
“With such a destiny, does the Immortal really not intend to accept a disciple?” Song Yilou blinked. The downward curve of his eyes softened his aggression, making him look like a puppy acting coquettishly, as if he would lift a furry paw to scratch at your pant leg in the next second.
Whether Song Yilou’s show of weakness moved Yun Wuxiang was unknown, but it set off 3339’s radar.
[This guy still won’t give up! Throw him out! Host! Throw him off this island immediately!]
Yun Wuxiang: [He is a living person.]
[Him being a living person is exactly the problem! How can a living person enter the barrier?] 3339’s rejection of Song Yilou had reached its peak.
[No, I mean, is the barrier okay right now?] Yun Wuxiang’s meaning was clear.
A living person has passed through the barrier, so is the barrier broken?
If it’s not broken, how am I supposed to throw him out?
The System’s agitated emotions came to a sudden halt as it remembered the still-slumbering World Consciousness and the error report it had sent that no one had responded to.
[Logically speaking, a barrier established by the World Consciousness won’t break.]
Yun Wuxiang suggested: [Otherwise, why don’t you go check the barrier first?]
[Okay… No! I can’t leave you alone in a room with a wild man who drifted from who knows where!]
Yun Wuxiang didn’t quite understand the System’s worry: [I won’t fall in love with ancient people. The values of modern people and ancient people are different; the disparity is too great to reconcile. Besides, I’m not interested in men. Why are you worried about me developing feelings for a man?]
[Because this is the world of a melodramatic Danmei novel!] 3339 let out a cry from the depths of its soul.
[3339, don’t worry. I promise not to get involved emotionally with anyone here, man or woman.]
Yun Wuxiang said with certainty: [I will go home after completing the mission. Entering a relationship and developing feelings only to leave the other person behind alone—that would be too irresponsible.]
The Host’s view on relationships is so upright. 3339 felt relieved but also more worried.
Whether the barrier was broken and let someone in, or the barrier wasn’t broken and this person still drifted in, neither was good news.
And picking up a man in the world of a melodramatic novel—that—was—unlucky!
It was too ominous!
The ominous thing was still talking: “I almost forgot to introduce myself. My name is Song Yilou. And the Immortal? How should I address you?”
“I think calling you Master is quite nice.”
[You cannot take a disciple!]
“Why does the Immortal not speak?”
[Host…]
“Immortal…”
3339 and Song Yilou’s voices overlapped in Yun Wuxiang’s mind, creating a chaotic mix of sound.
I can’t hear clearly. It’s so chaotic.
Yun Wuxiang raised his hand, pointed his finger at the space between Song Yilou’s eyebrows, and whispered, “Sleep.”
Song Yilou yawned. His spirited eyes grew drowsy, and his upper and lower eyelids began to fight. “Immortal, why… do you want…”
Before he could finish, he collapsed toward the ground.
Yun Wuxiang caught him, then carried Song Yilou back to the edge of the barrier. After experimenting, he reached a conclusion.
[The barrier isn’t broken.]
[…]
[3339, he can’t get out!] Yun Wuxiang’s voice held a hint of excitement.
See, I tried. He can’t get out. It’s not that I want to keep him; it’s that he can’t leave!
3339 went silent. Its heart had probably died.
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