Chapter 6
In high school, Ruan Xinshu always thought that there was nothing in this world more torturous than possessing only a half-measure of talent.
She had been painting since she was a child. Before the fifth grade, she had won first prize in national competitions. Back then, everyone around her said she was a gifted child.
But since then, she hadn’t achieved any outstanding results, and the awards she had won in the past had long since been reduced to scrap paper.
Sometimes, she was terrified that she would end up just as Ruan Jingrong had said—wasting her entire life only to discover that she was left with nothing but mediocrity and a lack of achievement.
Yet, whenever she wavered, she would look at her paintings and think—
If I weren’t the kind of person who could paint something like this, I probably would have given up long ago.
But when a person has just a little bit of talent, enough to occasionally create a piece that even they find impressive, how can they ever willingly give it up?
Ruan Xinshu took her sketchbook from Chu Yu’s hand without a word.
She found the situation suffocating, and at the same time, felt she was being ridiculous.
She hadn’t intended to cry.
In fact, up until this moment, she and Chu Yu had barely exchanged a single sentence.
Why did she have to cry in front of someone she had never even really spoken to?
It was simply baffling!
Thinking about it, maybe it was because of the way her classmates and teachers in this new class had been looking at her these past few days.
Or maybe it was because that teacher’s words today had hit the very spot she was most insecure about.
It might even have been because of the sound of Chu Yu’s footsteps earlier.
She thought about it, analyzed it, and all these messy feelings tangled together, leaving her unable to control her emotions.
I give up.
Why are the tears falling again?
Ruan Xinshu let out a sigh of resignation and wiped her tears away.
Chu Yu looked at the bag in her hand, seemed to think for a moment, and finally pulled out a smaller paper bag. She tidied the opening and handed it to Ruan Xinshu.
It was a very ordinary bag, printed with the name of a bakery, with the tip of a croissant poking out.
“…What?” Ruan Xinshu couldn’t quite react.
“…”
Chu Yu looked at the object that was obviously shaped like bread, then looked at Ruan Xinshu, explaining with the patience one might use for a three-year-old, “This is a horn bread, also known as a croissant. It is a type of bread baked with a large amount of butter.”
Ruan Xinshu frowned.
Of course she knew it was a croissant.
She was just confused as to why Chu Yu was giving her bread.
“I thought you hadn’t eaten yet,” Chu Yu said.
Ruan Xinshu glanced at Chu Yu, then hesitantly took the bread.
She was indeed hungry.
She looked at the bag in Chu Yu’s hand; it was from the bakery at the school gate.
Ruan Xinshu knew that a carton of milk from that shop often sat on Chu Yu’s desk in the mornings, so she guessed this was what Chu Yu usually ate for breakfast.
Ruan Xinshu didn’t like that bakery.
She had tried their cake once. The taste wasn’t great; the cream was overly sweet, and the sugar didn’t seem to be mixed well, leaving a gritty, sandy texture in the mouth.
She figured the bread would taste just as indescribable, so after eating that cake once, she had never gone back a second time.
Because she didn’t think the bread would be good, and because she disliked the shop, Ruan Xinshu held the croissant but couldn’t bring herself to take a bite.
She glanced at Chu Yu. Chu Yu was looking right back at her, seemingly waiting for her to eat it.
“Actually, I usually prefer pudding.”
As Ruan Xinshu spoke, she awkwardly brought the bread to her lips and took a bite.
Strangely enough, she had expected the bread to be awful, but the croissant Chu Yu gave her was soft and fluffy. Upon biting into it, her mouth was filled with the aroma of wheat and butter.
She glanced at Chu Yu, sniffled, and couldn’t help but swallow big bites of the bread. Unknowingly, tears began to fall again.
Chu Yu reached out and gently wiped away a tear. “Eat slowly.”
There was not a hint of urgency in her voice, yet it was clear and distinct.
Ruan Xinshu looked at Chu Yu. She felt Chu Yu’s fingers, cool and soothing as they brushed against her eyes…
The orange streetlights along the road merged into the night like sparks of fire.
The early autumn night was quiet. Gone were the cicadas of summer, and the air carried a hint of dampness.
The temperature in Xuan City had dropped over the past few days, and puddles on the ground reflected the twinkling stars in the sky.
Bicycle wheels rolled over the puddles, sending out ripples.
Chu Yu walked along the school’s perimeter wall with her backpack, the ivy on the wall swaying gently. Ruan Xinshu walked beside her, pushing her bicycle.
Ruan Xinshu’s mouth opened slightly, but she didn’t know what to say.
They were heading home in the same direction, only one was riding a bike and the other was taking the subway.
The rhythmic clicking of the bicycle spokes resonated in the air, which still held a trace of summer’s lingering warmth.
Ruan Xinshu felt she should say something, but Chu Yu had just watched her cry—and she had cried so miserably that her eyes still stung. She felt a bit awkward inside.
After a long silence, she pressed her lips together. “Why did you help me bring my notebook back?”
Ruan Xinshu stole a glance at Chu Yu. Deep down, she knew that Chu Yu’s series of actions were out of pity.
She didn’t think being pitied was a bad thing; having someone sympathize was better than no one at all.
But she also had her pride. She didn’t want Chu Yu to do this solely out of pity.
Chu Yu glanced at Ruan Xinshu, noting the corners of her eyes were still red, and politely withdrew her gaze. “You were drawing in it the whole class. I thought it wouldn’t be good to just throw it away.”
Her answer was smooth, her tone calm.
Actually, Ruan Xinshu knew very well that she and Chu Yu were completely different people.
It would be strange if a model student like Chu Yu could understand a weirdo like her who had no academic ambition and only knew how to paint.
But even as she thought this, she heard herself asking a completely different question.
“Do you think Shen Yue was right? Do you also think the things I draw are meaningless?”
Chu Yu fell silent instantly, quietly glancing at Ruan Xinshu’s face.
Seeing that Chu Yu didn’t answer right away, Ruan Xinshu rubbed her thumb against the bicycle bell, regretting her words.
She had known Chu Yu for less than a month. What did she expect Chu Yu to understand about her?
Besides, even if Chu Yu understood, what then? And if she didn’t, what then?
Ruan Xinshu didn’t know why she had asked such a question.
Chu Yu watched Ruan Xinshu’s finger rubbing the bell, seeming to know exactly what she was thinking, and spoke quietly.
“I don’t know how to paint, and I don’t have any professional knowledge. I’m a layman. Asking me this question doesn’t have much meaning.”
She spoke objectively.
Ruan Xinshu pressed her lips together upon hearing this.
Chu Yu walked a few steps forward quietly, tapped her finger against her lip, then turned back to look at Ruan Xinshu. There was a hint of teasing in her voice.
“But, I quite liked the drawing on the third page.”
Ruan Xinshu was surprised that Chu Yu had actually flipped through her notebook.
But then, remembering what she had drawn on the third page, Ruan Xinshu’s finger slipped and accidentally struck the bicycle bell uncontrollably.
Ding—
In the silence where even the sound of their breathing was audible, the bell rang out, abrupt and crisp.
Chu Yu quietly turned her head, just in time to see a flush of red clearly climbing from Ruan Xinshu’s neck to the tips of her ears.
Watching Ruan Xinshu finish everything on the tray without a word, Chu Yu tidied up the bowls and carried them out.
Ruan Xinshu heard the sound of water running in the kitchen, followed by the sound of bowls being gently set down.
These sounds were somewhat unfamiliar to Ruan Xinshu.
A home with someone living in it usually had these kinds of noises. All in all, she didn’t dislike them.
The sound of the water wasn’t loud, just like the sound of Chu Yu chopping vegetables earlier—very gentle.
Whenever Ruan Xinshu heard these sounds, she felt a sense of security.
The sound of someone being home.
A while later, footsteps sounded in the room, and Ruan Xinshu felt a faint floral scent drift to her side.
“I put enough porridge for two days on the first shelf of the fridge. When you’re hungry, take it out and heat it in the microwave.”
Chu Yu stopped not far from her, reached out to turn off the bedroom light, and then glanced at the KFC Family Bucket set aside.
“Try to eat less fast food.”
I really don’t know who the owner of this house is anymore, Ruan Xinshu thought to herself, turning her back to Chu Yu as a form of protest.
In any case, she wouldn’t listen to whatever Chu Yu said. After Chu Yu left, she would still eat it whenever she wanted.
“There are sugar-preserved lemons on the second shelf of the fridge,” Chu Yu added in a warm voice.
Ruan Xinshu paused mid-turn. She felt Chu Yu was still looking at her, so she finished turning over and gave an “Oh.”
Ruan Xinshu felt that Chu Yu should leave now that she had said her piece, but Chu Yu’s shadow was still on the bedroom wall.
Chu Yu was still standing at the door. Ruan Xinshu stared at that shadow.
—Why hasn’t she left yet?
Just as Ruan Xinshu repeated this question in her mind for the third time, Chu Yu spoke.
“Can I come again?”
Lying in bed, Ruan Xinshu was stunned.
Thinking about it, although it was a bit petty, she didn’t seem to lose anything by having Chu Yu come over.
The porridge was delicious, the pudding was tasty, the sugar-preserved lemons…
If a housekeeper could do these things as well as Chu Yu, Ruan Xinshu felt she would be willing to pay the service fee to hire one.
So, if Chu Yu had just said “Goodbye,” she might have politely replied “Goodbye” too.
—But how am I supposed to answer that question?
Ruan Xinshu hesitated for a long time, unable to come up with an answer.
Watching her reaction, Chu Yu lowered her lashes slightly. “I understand.”
Ruan Xinshu didn’t know what she understood, but Chu Yu asked nothing more and said nothing more.
A moment later, the sound of the door gently closing echoed.
The air remaining in the room held Chu Yu’s scent.
It was like summer, the scent of flowers.
Ruan Xinshu rolled over.
She had felt drowsy, her head so hot it felt like her eyeballs could catch fire, but now that drowsiness had been smashed to pieces, leaving her wide awake.
Chu Yu should have worn a spacesuit when she came today, Ruan Xinshu thought.
That way, after she left, she wouldn’t have left behind things that shouldn’t be left behind.
Ruan Xinshu stared at the ceiling, feeling that the pendant light looked cold in the darkness. After a while, she buried her head under the quilt, and only then did she feel a little better.
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