Chapter 145
In the end, Gu Qian didn’t stay at the hospital to play any games, because Lu Heng persuaded An Le to be discharged.
Not long after they left the hospital, it started to snow. Xiao Xiao watched the heavy snowfall from the window and smiled. “When I was little, I was terrified of snow. It was so cold, it always felt like I was going to freeze to death.”
Hearing this, Gu Qian came up behind him and draped a coat over his shoulders. “You don’t have to be scared now,” he said in a low voice. “You’ll never have to be scared again. As long as I’m here, I’ll never let you be cold.”
“Mm.”
Xiao Xiao turned, looked at Gu Qian for a moment, and then smiled.
He didn’t blame Gu Qian anymore.
Gu Qian was sick. Even though he had hurt him, he truly did love him. Now that he was mostly better and acting like a normal person, he couldn’t keep seeing him through that old lens. Besides, Gu Qian hadn’t asked to have his illness. He could actually understand that feeling of losing control, just like when he was a child and saw his mother lose control of herself. He had been able to understand Gu Qian before, but he had also hated him.
Now, suddenly, he felt at peace. In some ways, Gu Qian was even more pitiful than he was.
“It’s snowing today,” Gu Qian said. “Want to go out and play this afternoon?”
“Aren’t you going to work?”
“Nope,” Gu Qian smiled. “Don’t you like amusement parks? I’ll take you.”
Xiao Xiao did like amusement parks, but he had never gone by himself before. He wanted to ask An Le to come. But he knew that if he invited An Le, Gu Qian would be unhappy. Just as he wouldn’t want to get in the way of An Le and Lu Heng’s relationship, Gu Qian didn’t want An Le to get in the way of theirs.
He had no choice but to nod and agree to go with just Gu Qian.
Once he said yes, Gu Qian immediately dropped what he was doing and pulled him out of the office. They hurried downstairs, and Gu Qian drove toward the amusement park.
The snow was coming down hard, but it hadn’t started to stick to the ground yet, so driving was still easy. He spent the whole ride looking out the window. The scene he had feared most as a child looked quite beautiful now.
And this was the first time since he and Gu Qian had gotten together that they were going out to have fun, truly happy.
How to put it? When they had first gotten together, Gu Qian had had an episode, which made things unpleasant. They had never had a normal date, never gone out to have fun like a normal couple.
Today was the first time. Both Xiao Xiao and Gu Qian were incredibly happy.
Gu Qian was almost twenty-nine, but at the amusement park with Xiao Xiao, he joined in on every single ride, acting like a big kid.
It had been a long time since Xiao Xiao had felt so carefree. In the end, they lay together on a climbing net, watching the snowflakes fall from the sky. “You know,” Xiao Xiao said, “I liked you from the very beginning. I cared about you. You’re the one who made the process of us getting together so difficult.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Gu Qian said immediately. “It was my fault. I’m begging you, my dear Xiao Xiao, to be the bigger person and not hold it against me, okay?”
It was Gu Qian who had played a good hand so badly. He had taken a partner who liked him, who loved him, and tormented him until he no longer did. But thankfully, he had admitted his mistake quickly, corrected his ways, actively sought treatment, and won his partner back.
“Alright, fine,” Xiao Xiao said with a smile. “I’m tired. If you carry me back right now, I’ll forgive you.”
“Deal!”
At that, Gu Qian jumped down from the climbing net, pulled Xiao Xiao down after him, and then crouched on the ground. “Come on, Xiao Xiao, I’ll carry you back.”
Xiao Xiao didn’t hold back, hopping straight onto Gu Qian’s back.
Gu Qian carried him from inside the amusement park all the way out, calling his assistant to come get the car as he walked slowly through the snow toward home.
In the end, it was Xiao Xiao who softened first. He grabbed the hand holding the phone. “It’s so far. Are you really planning to carry me all the way back?” he asked, a note of resignation in his voice.
“Can’t I?” Gu Qian smiled. “This isn’t far at all. The road of life is what’s truly long. But don’t you worry, Xiao Xiao. As long as you want it, as long as you don’t mind, I’ll carry you for a lifetime.”
“Yeah, right. Now hurry up and put me down so you can get the car. Even if you were going to carry me back, it’s so far, I’d freeze to death on your back!” As he spoke, Xiao Xiao jumped down, gave Gu Qian’s butt a playful kick, and ran off laughing.
Gu Qian had no choice but to turn back and get the car.
They ended up driving back that day, because Xiao Xiao said he was cold and didn’t want to linger on the road.
Gu Qian was thrilled that Xiao Xiao had returned to his lively, playful self. He even gave him more space at work, letting him go back to his real job instead of just being his do-nothing personal assistant. Xiao Xiao gradually became more cheerful, his smile growing brighter, chasing away all the gloom in Gu Qian’s heart.
Time flew by, and soon it was the New Year.
The last day of the year was An Le’s birthday. In the past, he would always spend it with An Le. This was the first year since they’d met that they were spending it apart.
Gu Qian cooked a full table of New Year’s Eve dishes.
Xiao Xiao ate and drank Coke, a look of contentment on his face. “When I was little,” he said with a smile, “it was just two of us for New Year’s—me and my mom.”
“When I grew up, it was still just two people—me and An Le.”
“Later, I always thought that if I got married and had a partner, it definitely wouldn’t be just two people, because my partner would have a family—a mom and dad, relatives, friends. But I never thought it would still be just the two of us.”
Even as he said it, he didn’t feel sad, but he was a little afraid Gu Qian might be.
“After all that,” Gu Qian said nonchalantly, “you just want to go spend New Year’s with An Le.”
Gu Qian’s mother was dead, a suicide just like his father, Gu Chen. The things Gu Qian had endured, the pressure he’d been under since he was a child, were no less than what Xiao Xiao had gone through. They were both unfortunate souls, it was just that Xiao Xiao had remained mentally sound, with no strange tendencies. So neither of them could look down on the other, because they were the same.
“I do,” Xiao Xiao said. “Why don’t we go see them tomorrow for the first day of the New Year?”
At that, Gu Qian pulled two plane tickets from his pocket. “You want to go see them tomorrow?” he asked, a hint of regret in his voice. “Then what about the tickets I bought for our trip? Do we have to cancel them?”
A trip?
Xiao Xiao’s eyes instantly lit up. He had envied people who traveled his whole life. They seemed so free, able to do whatever they wanted, go wherever they wanted, without any restrictions. That was the life he had always wanted to live. Although he no longer craved that kind of life, he still liked the idea of traveling. He was more than willing to go out and have fun once in a while.
“Then let’s go on the trip.”
Although An Le was important, and he really wanted to spend New Year’s with him, would Lu Heng even want him there? If he went, Lu Heng might just kick him out.
“What time do we leave tomorrow?” Xiao Xiao asked.
A corner of Gu Qian’s mouth lifted into a smile. “Nine o’clock tomorrow, so we have to be up by six. Tonight… does Xiao Xiao want to go to bed early, or late?”
“Either is fine!” Xiao Xiao said with a laugh. “I’m young, I can stay up all night!”
Gu Qian looked displeased. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Xiao Xiao. “Is that supposed to mean you think I’m old?” he asked in a low voice. “But I’m only twenty-eight this year. That’s very young, you know.”
Xiao Xiao didn’t answer, just laughed.
Gu Qian held him, and soon they moved from the dining table to the sofa. Before long, they were ‘exercising.’
Over the past few days, Xiao Xiao had gotten used to being marked, even becoming addicted to it. Every time Gu Qian bit his gland and knotted inside him, he felt like he had truly become an omega.
He didn’t know how much time had passed before their ‘exercise’ finally stopped, but they didn’t separate, their bodies still tightly connected. Xiao Xiao lay on the sofa, looking back at the person behind him. “Let’s rest for a bit,” he said weakly. “It’s almost twelve. If I don’t call Lele soon, I’m going to miss his birthday.”
Gu Qian paused, then smiled. “Go ahead and call. I won’t move.”
Xiao Xiao gave him a wary look, then took out his phone to call An Le.
The phone was answered after only a few rings, and An Le’s excited voice came through. “Hello?”
Xiao Xiao took a breath to steady himself. “Lele, happy birthday,” he said with a smile. “Did your Sir buy you a cake?”
“Thank you, Xiao Xiao. Yes, Sir bought me a cake.” You could hear how happy An Le was. It seemed Lu Heng had prepared a very thoughtful gift.
An Le said, “Xiao Xiao, Happy New Year’s Eve! Let’s not hang up, it’ll be the new year in a minute!”
Xiao Xiao was speechless. He didn’t really want to hang up either, but the person behind him was still inside him… But it was only for a few minutes. He didn’t want to refuse An Le, so he finally nodded. “Okay. But… after the New Year, we won’t be able to see each other for a while.”
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you just yet,” Xiao Xiao said, “but it should be good news. Lele, while I’m gone, you have to take good care of yourself. Even with your Sir, don’t let him bully you, you hear me?”
“I know.” An Le nodded obediently. “You have to protect yourself too. Gu Qian, he… he… I have money, Xiao Xiao, I’ll give you…”
Xiao Xiao knew that An Le would give him anything without reservation. If he asked, An Le would give him any amount of money and wouldn’t care if he never paid it back. But he still refused. “Don’t give me money. Gu Qian has all my cards. If you give me money, it’s the same as giving it to him. That would be a waste. Besides, all his money is mine now. I don’t need it.”
“Well… okay then,” An Le said.
After that, Xiao Xiao didn’t mention Gu Qian again. They chatted about other things for a while. As the clock struck twelve, An Le exclaimed excitedly to Xiao Xiao, “Xiao Xiao, Happy New Year!”
These past few minutes had felt incredibly long for Xiao Xiao, because even though Gu Qian wasn’t thrusting hard, he was still grinding against him gently from behind. It had made him break out in a sweat, and he had almost lost control of his voice.
The moment it turned twelve, he quickly said into the phone, “Lele, Happy New Year.”
Then he hung up.
The instant he hung up, Gu Qian started moving frantically. “Xiao Xiao, you’re such a tease.”
“Ngh… you bastard…”
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