Chapter 73
Time stood still.
The snowflakes in the air seemed to hang suspended, and the few passersby became frozen figures.
For the first time, Lin Zheng felt an immense weight on his shoulders, so heavy he could barely support Gu Lin’s head.
Right, I forgot. Waiting here for Gu Lin tonight wasn’t just him. It was also Gu Lin’s best friend, Yan Yang.
Yan Yang, the one who was supposed to be his wingman for a smooth confession.
How could he have forgotten that when Zhao Yi came looking for him, Yan Yang would have seen everything?
Yan Yang might not have understood the meaning behind Zhao Yi’s words, but as long as he relayed them verbatim to Gu Lin, Gu Lin, being in the know, would understand everything.
Yan Yang had called him just now, but he hadn’t noticed.
Lin Zheng clenched his fists on his lap.
Gu Lin knew everything. Who could he fool now?
Saying he wanted to postpone the confession was just an excuse to buy himself more time. He needed more time to decide, to decide whether to stay or go. He didn’t want to hurt Gu Lin, who knew his feelings, by leaving after the fact. He wanted to leave himself an out, and Gu Lin an out too.
But now, it all seemed unnecessary.
Was there any point in denying it? It seemed pointless now.
He was like a bee with its shell cracked open; everything there was to see had already been seen by Gu Lin.
Lin Zheng leaned against Gu Lin, his gaze shifting to the side and behind him. His arm followed, his fingertips brushing against the soft petals, his hand now fragrant.
Lin Zheng sat by the bedroom window, watching the snow outside glow a warm yellow under the lights.
He reached out, trying to catch a snowflake, but his hand came back empty.
So close, yet so far.
Zhao Yi’s words echoed in his mind.
[“I saw you succeed. When I was reborn for the first time, you said that the story is filled with many important plot points. Although they seem scattered, a closer look reveals that it’s these points that string the story together. And your chance to go back depends on these important plot points. Every point is an opportunity. As long as you let that part of the story follow the plot when a plot point appears, a time-space junction will appear when it ends. That’s the place that can take you home.”]
“Home…”
Lin Zheng slowly pulled his hand back, his eyes dimming.
He had wanted to go back so badly before, but now his heart was filled with a tangle of conflict, contradiction, and difficulty.
If he went back, what about Gu Lin?
If he was gone, would Gu Lin be sad for a long time? But sadness, no matter how long it lasted, would eventually be washed away by time. Maybe after he was done being sad, Gu Lin would find someone else, forget him, and live happily ever after with them.
Lin Zheng imagined Gu Lin walking hand-in-hand with someone else, imagined someone else being held on the sofa instead of him, someone else holding the popcorn at the movies for another, the jacket no longer draped over his shoulders but given to someone else, the face being held no longer his but another man’s, the one being held and kissed no longer him but another man… Lin Zheng couldn’t think about it anymore. Just the thought of those things made his lungs feel like they were about to explode.
But looking at the book, the plot had almost run its course. According to the timeline, the ending was just around the corner. If he missed his chance to go back, he might never be able to return once the story was over.
In that world, he had family who had depended on him for so many years, he had the little brother he loved…
“Lin Zheng, why are you standing by the window without a jacket again?” A familiar, exasperated voice sounded from behind him.
Lin Zheng turned around and saw a tall boy. The boy was frowning, his handsome features still a bit childish, but he spoke like an adult.
The boy walked past him and closed the window, complaining as he did, “Opening the window on a snowy day like this. If you’re not cold, I am. Achoo! If I catch a cold, it’s your fault. You’ll have to ask for a day off from the teacher for me.”
Lin Zheng’s eyes widened in disbelief.
The boy turned back, looked at him, and let out a sigh. Then, he bent down slightly, wrapped his arms around him, and a choked, complaining voice came from beside Lin Zheng’s ear, “Ge, I miss you so much. When are you coming back?”
“I… I’m right here, aren’t I? Your ge is right here.”
“I said I’d buy you a big house after I graduate. Don’t make me break my promise. I don’t want to break my promise. I miss you so much, ge.”
Lin Zheng’s eyes grew hot. He couldn’t help but reach out to hug the person in front of him, but a chill came from behind him, and his outstretched hand met only empty air. The person in front of him vanished with the wind that had just blown in. Only then did Lin Zheng realize that everything just now had been a hallucination.
He stared at the empty space in front of him, dazed for a few seconds, then raised his hands to cover his face.
“Assistant Lin, Assistant Lin, Assistant Lin! Careful, the hot water is about to overflow!”
“Oh, oh!”
Lin Zheng quickly released the button for the hot water dispenser, but even though he was quick, the back of his hand was still scalded by the overflowing water.
A female colleague behind him quickly put down her cup and came over, asking with concern, “Are you okay, Assistant Lin?”
Lin Zheng glanced at his hand. A red patch had appeared where his thumb met his palm. It was very noticeable. He shook his head. “I’m fine.”
The female colleague said, “How can you say you’re fine? I have some ointment, let me get it for you.”
“Thank you, but you don’t have to…”
“No, you have to put ointment on this!”
A smile appeared on Lin Zheng’s face. “…Thank you.”
Just as the two were about to leave the break room, they heard voices from outside.
“Did you hear? President Gu and Assistant Lin had a fight recently.”
“Really?”
“It’s true. It’s really bad. They barely say a word to each other at the company except for work, and the atmosphere between them is just… But what’s strange is that President Gu hasn’t lost his temper at all this time. I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, but at the company, he seems pretty much the same as usual.”
“But Assistant Lin seems to be in a really low mood. It looks like he’s taking it pretty hard.”
The female colleague glanced at Lin Zheng beside her, wanting to go out and tell them to shut up, but Lin Zheng stopped her and went out himself.
The few people outside saw the subject of their gossip and scattered guiltily, like they had been caught in the act.
The female colleague said to Lin Zheng, “Let’s go, I’ll get you the ointment.”
Lin Zheng nodded.
The two of them walked down the hallway together.
Not far ahead, a few people were walking towards them, talking.
When he got a clear look, he saw that the person in the lead was Gu Lin, followed by a few other executives.
Everyone greeted Gu Lin.
Lin Zheng watched the tall figure walking towards him. When he got closer, he said, “President Gu.”
Gu Lin just nodded, not even glancing at him as he walked past.
In that instant, Lin Zheng felt an indescribable sense of loss.
Although Gu Lin’s response to him was no different from his response to others, it was precisely this lack of distinction that was most disappointing.
Lin Zheng let out a breath and patted his face with his hand.
What am I thinking? It’s work time, work time. Not a time to be emotional.
Lin Zheng started walking again.
At the company entrance, just before getting into the car, Gu Lin said to Assistant Shen beside him, “Send me the meeting agenda for half an hour from now. You don’t have to come with me to the meeting. Go to Assistant Lin’s first, don’t say anything, then go to a pharmacy and buy a tube of burn cream and put it on his desk. After that, you can come and meet me.”
Assistant Shen hesitated for a moment, then understood and nodded. “Yes.”
The car sped away, leaving a trail of dust. Assistant Shen stood there, watching the car get smaller and smaller. Before it completely disappeared from view, he turned and went back into the company.
After applying the ointment his colleague had given him, the burning sensation on his scalded skin subsided, and the heat lessened.
But it still hurt.
Lin Zheng was resting his head on his desk when a tube of ointment appeared in front of him. In large letters, it said “Pain Relief.”
He lifted his head and saw Assistant Shen’s face. The joy on his own face clearly fell.
Assistant Shen adjusted his glasses. “I saw your hand was injured. I happened to have a tube, you can use it.”
Lin Zheng was stunned. “…You just happened… to have one?”
Assistant Shen coughed into his fist. “Well, that’s what President Gu told me to say.”
Lin Zheng blinked.
Assistant Shen placed the burn cream on the desk. “I’m an honest person. Remember to keep an honest person’s secret.” After saying that, he gave Lin Zheng a wink, then returned to his usual cold, professional demeanor and walked away.
Lin Zheng picked up the burn cream from the desk, a smile wanting to bloom on his lips.
Gu Lin saw it.
He knew Gu Lin must have seen it.
But a moment later, the smile fell.
Lin Zheng knew everything. He also knew why Gu Lin was acting this way towards him.
Gu Lin’s attitude towards him had changed after he found out he could go back.
Gu Lin had said he loved him, but now he was acting like this. There was only one reason.
He didn’t want to hold him back.
He didn’t want to be an obstacle.
Lin Zheng buried his head on the desk.
He knew everything.
Gu Lin just didn’t want to be a burden, didn’t want to be the one holding him back when he made his choice.
It wasn’t about being fair; it was just a way of giving emotionally.
Gu Lin wanted him to make a choice he wouldn’t regret.
That night, Lin Zheng went downstairs for a glass of water. Gu Lin was still awake, reading in the living room.
Lin Zheng filled his cup. From behind him, Gu Lin’s voice came, “When is it?”
Lin Zheng understood what Gu Lin was asking.
He tightened his grip on the cup and said, “The day after tomorrow.”
“The day after tomorrow…” Gu Lin repeated his answer, then said, “The day after tomorrow is indeed a very important day. It’s my mother’s birthday.”
“…” Lin Zheng said nothing.
One of them stood by the water dispenser, the other sat on the sofa. Back to back.
“I have to go to the neighboring city tomorrow morning. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow.”
Hearing this, Lin Zheng’s heart clenched. He whirled around to look at Gu Lin. “What? To… the neighboring city? You won’t be here tomorrow?”
Gu Lin closed his book and stood up. “It’s late. You should get some rest.”
Lin Zheng watched him as he was about to go to his room and quickly went over to grab his arm. “Gu Lin, I…”
Gu Lin stopped, turned around, and lifted the hand that was holding him. His large palm rested on top of his head, a gentle smile on his flawless face. “I’m not gone yet.”
Lin Zheng’s grip on Gu Lin’s arm tightened.
“Listen to me.”
Lin Zheng’s brow furrowed.
“I’ve thought a lot about it. No matter what choice you make, I hope you can accept it sincerely. Don’t worry too much about insignificant things, including me. You just have to, as you said, and as I’ve said to you, do what you want to do, try what you want to try. You know I will always be your solid backing… no matter where you are.”
Lin Zheng bit his lip.
Gu Lin lifted the hand in front of him to his lips and lightly placed a kiss on it.
“Good night, my little rabbit. See you tomorrow.”
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