Part 3
Imperial physicians came and went, back and forth repeatedly. Lin Zheng stayed by the bedside the whole time.
Perhaps his prayers day and night really worked; the person on the bed finally opened his eyes.
Overwhelmed with emotion, Lin Zheng forgot to call the physician. The emotions he had suppressed for so long burst out, and he hugged the person on the bed, crying uncontrollably.
“Bastard! Didn’t you say you’d come back fine? Why did you get yourself like this? You liar.”
Gu Lin, having woken up, raised his hand, subconsciously wanting to place it on the head of the person in his arms. But after a moment, it stopped in mid-air and was finally withdrawn.
He looked at the person in his arms with a smile. “Didn’t I come back? Stop crying.”
Lin Zheng lifted his head, wanting to continue scolding him, but he froze when he saw the look in Gu Lin’s eyes.
“Gu Lin, are you… okay?”
Lin Zheng hoped Gu Lin was okay, but Gu Lin’s eyes told him otherwise.
The imperial physician arrived and told Lin Zheng about Gu Lin’s condition.
“I heard before that the small country excels in unorthodox methods. I fear General Gu has been poisoned by some evil toxin from there.”
“Evil toxin?”
The physician nodded. “However, I dare not be certain for now, as General Gu also suffered a head injury. Perhaps it isn’t an evil toxin, but simply the result of the head injury. We have to observe General Gu’s recovery.”
The physician told Lin Zheng that upon diagnosis, there was a problem with General Gu’s brain. He couldn’t feel normal human emotions and desires. Simply put, for Gu Lin, all his memories had lost their meaning.
It was just a pure, emotionless experience.
Lin Zheng hoped it was just due to the physical trauma and not some so-called evil toxin. But as time passed, Lin Zheng had to admit the fact that Gu Lin no longer had any feelings for him.
Gu Lin still interacted with him as usual and spoke the same sweet words as before, but the interactions felt awkward, and the words felt forced. It was as if… as if being with him was just a duty.
When they embraced at night to sleep, he could even feel the stiffness in Gu Lin’s body.
It will get better, Lin Zheng comforted himself.
During the day, Lin Zheng spent all his time searching for doctors. Hearing of any reclusive expert, he would go personally to meet them. But no matter how many he sought, there were no results, only a belly full of bitterness when he returned at night.
At first, Gu Lin would ask where he had been, but later, perhaps because he was too busy, he didn’t even know Lin Zheng had spent the night out.
Whether due to overexertion or stress, Lin Zheng sensed his health deteriorating.
One night, held in Gu Lin’s arms, Lin Zheng coughed a few times. He couldn’t fall asleep for a long time.
He looked up and realized Gu Lin wasn’t asleep either, so he asked, “Did I wake you?”
Gu Lin touched his face. “It’s fine.”
Feeling the warmth of the palm, Lin Zheng only felt bitterness. Holding back the tears threatening to spill, he asked, “Gu Lin, do you like me?”
Gu Lin hesitated for a moment before saying, “…Yes.”
Lin Zheng couldn’t stop his tears from falling like rain.
Clearly, you don’t.
Gu Lin reached out and wiped the tears from his face.
Lin Zheng understood. Gu Lin had lost normal human emotions; how could he understand what liking was, what distress was, what sadness was? Gu Lin was merely mimicking past memories to maintain their current life.
To Gu Lin, he was no longer irreplaceable, but had become a responsibility.
A responsibility to take care of the person he brought back.
But even so, he didn’t want to leave Gu Lin.
He had promised Gu Lin he wouldn’t leave him alone.
The bellflowers in the manor withered and bloomed again. The vases prepared long ago were moved into the manor.
Lin Zheng still didn’t give up seeking famous doctors, but the responses were usually silence. One day, passing by the courtyard and seeing the bellflowers blooming, he picked a few sprigs. Just as he wanted to send them to his lover, he heard Xiao Xingzi rushing back, saying they had found another miracle doctor.
Excited, Lin Zheng put down the flowers and went out with Xiao Xingzi. After questioning, this person, like everyone before, said the poison had no cure.
Just as he was about to leave, the man called him back and asked, “Young Master, have you frequently felt chest pain accompanied by coughing over the past two years?”
Lin Zheng was stunned.
On the way back, Lin Zheng was somewhat distracted.
Xiao Xingzi, eyes swollen, wanted to say something, but Lin Zheng cut him off. “Xiao Xingzi, don’t say anything.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Gu Lin walked out from the inner room, holding the sprigs of bellflowers Lin Zheng had left in the courtyard. “You’re back? I knew at a glance you picked these. I was just about to put them away.”
Lin Zheng took the bellflowers from Gu Lin’s hand and said, “I’ll do it.”
Watching the person brush past him, Gu Lin subconsciously wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but in the end, he didn’t extend his arm.
Days passed as usual, but Lin Zheng’s body grew weaker and weaker.
Xiao Xingzi was busy all day long. Occasionally, Gu Lin would see this and ask, but Xiao Xingzi wouldn’t say anything.
Unknown to when it started, Gu Lin sensed that the person before him seemed different from the one in his memories. He no longer came to him often, no longer nagged in his ear about everything and nothing.
Every time he wanted to ask, he thought better of it, feeling it was unnecessary.
So he never asked, not even once.
One day, Lin Zheng came to find him. He thought Lin Zheng wanted to cling to him as usual, but instead heard him say, “Recently, my father’s health hasn’t been good. I want to go back for a while. I’m afraid I won’t be back for a short time.”
Gu Lin felt a thump in his heart, unable to describe the feeling. After a long while, he said, “Is that so? Then go.”
That very day, Lin Zheng left the General’s Manor with Xiao Xingzi.
When he left, Gu Lin was summoned to the palace and couldn’t see him off.
On the way back, Lin Zheng took out paper and brush, writing letter after letter.
Xiao Xingzi asked him why he was writing so many letters.
Lin Zheng didn’t say a word, only continuing to put brush to paper.
This time back home, the atmosphere was heavy.
At night, Lin Zheng occasionally suffered from insomnia. When he couldn’t sleep, he would get up, drape a robe over his shoulders, and sit at the desk to write letters.
Looking at the bright moon in the sky, a faint smile would appear on his thin face.
Gu Lin received many letters from Lin Zheng successively. The letters spoke of his recent life, saying his father’s health had improved a lot, that he had made many new friends recently, and that those friends had all married. They asked him why he wasn’t married, and what could he say? Of course, he could only say he already had someone in his heart.
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