Extra 16: Happy to Be Dads – An Jing x Lu Yuqi
After the deed, An Jing lazily put a cigarette in his mouth, narrowing his eyes with languid satisfaction, wanting to have a cool and dashing post-coital smoke like the domineering CEOs in novels.
However, Lu Yuqi, who was playing games next to him, shot him a glance. His hand holding the lighter immediately trembled, and he sheepishly put the cigarette aside.
“Since you have the time, rub my waist.” This old man really has boundless energy, tossing me around until the wee hours every time.
“Right away!” An Jing responded like a loyal dog, diligently massaging his wife’s shoulders and waist, taking the opportunity to cop a feel. Suddenly thinking of something, the smile on his face deepened. “Qiqi, do you think An An is cute?”
Young Master Lu was focused on playing his game and casually replied that he was cute.
An Jing guided him patiently: “Right? Cute, isn’t he? So, do you want to have such a cute kid too?”
Lu Yuqi’s hand paused. “What?”
“Baby, how about you give birth to one for me?” An Jing leaned over mischievously, only to be kicked away ruthlessly by his baby. “F*ck off! If you’re so capable, give birth yourself!”
A howl pierced the roof. An Jing rubbed his kicked waist, grimacing in pain. “Why are you so ruthless? I was joking. I’m saying we should adopt one too, what do you think?”
Lu Yuqi: “Not much!”
Raising a child wasn’t that simple. He felt that his cousin, who had been strong his whole life, had looked much haggard lately.
However, under An Jing’s daily persuasion, coaxing, and cajoling—even borrowing An An to take care of for two days—Young Master Lu finally agreed. If the child was as cute, well-behaved, and sensible as An An, then maybe it wouldn’t be impossible.
An Jing was in high spirits, taking Lu Yuqi to the orphanage several times. In the end, they chose to adopt a four-and-a-half-year-old boy. He looked as cute as An An, but his personality…
“Old Dog An, what did you tell me back then?! You said kids nowadays are all cute and well-behaved like An An, easy to take care of. Look at that little brat An Huaixing, if you don’t beat him for three days, he’ll tear the house down!” Lu Yuqi grabbed a pillow in exasperation and threw it over.
An Jing skillfully caught the thrown pillow. Knowing he was in the wrong, he touched his nose awkwardly and said aggrievedly: “Didn’t I think Xingxing’s personality was like yours? He’s practically a mini version of Lu Yuqi!”
“Mom told me you were just as mischievous when you were little. Even the family dog had to walk with its tail between its legs when it saw you. Baby, you and Xingxing are natural father and son!”
Lu Yuqi: “…”
Was he praising him or insulting him?
Suddenly, a crisp “crash” came from outside. The two looked at each other and ran out simultaneously.
In the living room, a vase lay in pieces on the floor, a rubber ball next to it. Not far away stood a cute little boy, standing properly. Knowing he had done something wrong, his little head hung low.
An Jing rubbed his forehead helplessly. We’re screwed.
Sure enough, his wife was already gnashing his teeth in anger. “An! Huai! Xing! The day before yesterday you broke a cup, yesterday you broke a window, today you broke a vase. What are you going to break tomorrow? Huh?! Didn’t I tell you not to play ball in the house?!”
The little guy lowered his head and said weakly: “The ball flew over by itself. It’s not Xingxing’s fault.”
Lu Yuqi: “So this broken ball grew wings, did it?!”
An Jing beside him coughed lightly and said weakly: “Maybe invisible wings.”
As soon as he finished speaking, his calf received a kick. He dared to feel pain but dared not speak. Lu Yuqi glared at him darkly. “Did something wrong and won’t admit it, blaming the ball instead! It’s all because you spoil him!”
Indeed, his mother-in-law had told him that when Lu Yuqi was little, he smashed a window with a stone and didn’t dare admit it, blaming it on the family dog, saying the little dog smashed it with a stone.
Quite capable, that little dog.
“Children just need to be taught slowly. It’s okay, I’ll handle it.” An Jing smiled apologetically at his wife, then walked to his little son, squatted down, and persuaded patiently:
“Xingxing, you can’t be like this. Good children bravely admit their mistakes. If you genuinely know you’re wrong, Daddy and Papa won’t blame you, understand?”
After hearing these words, instead of admitting his mistake, the little guy crossed his arms, turned his little face away, pouted his small mouth, hmphed, and said in a milky voice: “Xingxing is a bad child, won’t admit mistake!”
An Jing: “…”
Not to mention, this awkward and arrogant personality was exactly the same as that pup Lu Yuqi.
Young Master Lu’s fist hardened.
“An! Jing! Is this how you handle him?!”
“Won’t admit your mistake, right? Both of you go face the wall and reflect!”
An Jing felt very wronged. “No, I didn’t make a mistake. Is there collective punishment these days?”
Lu Yuqi: “Cut the crap! Hurry up!”
Little An Huaixing sighed helplessly like a little adult, reached out his small hand, and tugged at his Daddy’s hem. “Daddy, hurry up.”
An Jing: “…”
In the end, the pitiful father and son stood side by side facing the wall reflecting on their mistakes. Lu Yuqi sat comfortably on the sofa watching a movie and eating melon seeds, making the backs of the big and small figures look particularly desolate and very funny.
This little brat An Huaixing was like a monkey, mischievous all day long, tearing the house down. This wasn’t a solution. He had to think of a way to fix him. Lu Yuqi looked at the big and small backs, thinking hard, when suddenly his eyes lit up. Got it!
Three days later, An Huaixing caused trouble again.
He beat up a little classmate at kindergarten until the kid cried. Fortunately, it wasn’t serious, and the parents didn’t make a fuss, but the teacher called to complain.
Unsurprisingly, the little guy refused to admit his mistake again. “Who told that little fatty to grab my toy! He deserved it! Hmph! Xingxing is not wrong; the little fatty is wrong!”
Alright, he really has my style from back then.
This little arm and leg can actually knock down a little fatty, Young Master Lu lamented in his heart, but on the surface, he looked fiercely at his little son. “An Huaixing, do you admit your mistake?”
An Huaixing: “Hmph!”
Lu Yuqi winked secretly at An Jing beside him. The Movie King An immediately cried out “Ouch,” fell to the ground, closed his eyes weakly, and lay motionless like a corpse.
Only four and a half years old, An Huaixing had never seen such a scene. He was terrified on the spot, sitting in front of An Jing and shaking his arm vigorously. “Woo woo woo Daddy, get up quickly, what’s wrong with you…”
He looked at Lu Yuqi with tearful eyes. “Papa, Daddy died woo woo woo…”
An Jing: “…”
My good son, you really want to filial me to death! (Pun on “xiao si” – filial piety/laugh to death)
“It’s okay, Daddy just fainted.” Lu Yuqi tried hard to suppress his laughter. He squatted down and looked solemnly at the pitifully crying little person. “Xingxing, do you know why Daddy fainted?”
“Xingxing doesn’t know woo woo woo…”
“Because you are mischievous all day long and refuse to admit your mistakes. Your Daddy’s health isn’t good; he faints when he gets angry. He was angered into fainting by you.”
The little guy wiped his tears while shaking An Jing’s body, crying pitifully: “Woo woo woo, Xingxing will be good in the future, never mischievous again. Daddy, I was wrong, I shouldn’t have hit people woo woo, wake up quickly woo woo woo…”
“Xingxing will be good in the future, listen to Daddy and Papa, Daddy don’t die wa wa wa…”
Lu Yuqi kicked An Jing. Alright, that’s enough.
An Jing slowly opened his eyes, looking confused and surprised at the little guy crying with tears and snot flowing together. “Xingxing, why are you crying?”
“Woo woo Daddy, you finally woke up!” An Huaixing threw himself into his arms, wiping his tears and snot on his clothes. “Daddy don’t be angry. If you get angry, you’ll faint. If you faint, you’ll die. Xingxing will be good in the future and never make you angry again woo woo woo…”
An Jing and Lu Yuqi looked at each other. Success!
The Movie King came in handy at this time.
Cough… although deceiving a child like this is a bit wicked.
Putting on such a show was somewhat useful. Four-and-a-half-year-old An Huaixing lost due to lack of education. The little guy was terrified his Daddy would faint again and indeed became a little bit better. At least when he did something wrong, he was willing to take the initiative to admit his mistake.
The glass vases at home suffered less, the children in the kindergarten got beaten up less, and his Daddy and Papa worried less. Occasionally, he would act spoiled and cute. When he looked at others with those bling-bling big eyes, the Arrogant King expressed he had no choice.
One day, Lu Yuqi took An Huaixing to play ball in the yard. When they came back, they found An Jing sleeping on the sofa with his head tilted, still holding the script in his hand.
“Papa…”
“Shh…” Lu Yuqi put his index finger on his lips in a shushing gesture, bent down, and whispered in the little guy’s ear. A trace of mischief flashed in the eyes of the big and small ones, and then they tiptoed to An Jing’s side.
…
An Jing woke up groggy. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw two children, one big and one small, looking at him with smiles. He subconsciously leaned back. “You… what do you want to do!”
“Daddy, Papa and I want to give you a surprise!”
An Huaixing took out a mirror from behind his back and placed it in front of An Jing. An Jing’s pupils shook violently. He looked at the dark circles, matchmaker mole, and sausage mouth drawn on his face, along with colorful animals—turtles, rabbits, kittens, puppies…
And they were drawn incredibly ugly.
Lu Yuqi triumphantly raised his phone. “I’ve already taken a picture. If you make me unhappy one day, I’ll post it on Weibo so the whole internet can see you like this!”
An Jing’s fist hardened. “Do you two little brats want a beat! ing!?”
“Oh no! Xingxing run!”
As soon as the words fell, Lu Yuqi and An Huaixing ran towards the yard. An Jing looked helplessly and indulgently at the backs of the father and son, then got up and chased after them.
“Don’t let me catch you two mischievous troublemakers!”
“Or I’ll spank you all!”
Recommended Reads
