Chapter 39: Not Liking Anymore part 1
The faint candlelight flickered, and through the layers of shark-silk curtains, the scene inside the bedchamber was hazy.
Having been pushed unexpectedly again, Gu Zhen’s body swayed slightly. He then turned and abruptly seized her wrist.
The moment her wrist was gripped, Zhao Yiyi’s heart missed a beat. She pressed against the edge of the bed, struggling backward to break free from his control, but due to the weakness from her fever, she couldn’t exert any strength at all.
“Go away.” She pursed her lips, a trace of annoyance flashing in her eyes, and tried to pry off the fingers clamping her wrist.
She tried one by one, but no matter which finger, even with all her strength, she couldn’t budge them.
“What nonsense are you making!” Gu Zhen scolded her lightly.
She’s so sick she has no strength left in her body, yet she still refuses to be obedient, dragging her sick body to make a scene with me. “Look at yourself, the medicine is spilled.”
For a moment, he really wanted to ask her properly what exactly she was thinking.
Fine, she’s sick like this; I probably won’t get any answers out of her anyway.
At this point, Zhao Yiyi’s mind cleared slightly, and she finally realized that this was not a dream at all. This was her bedchamber, and the person in front of her was a living, breathing person, not an illusion.
No wonder… no wonder no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t escape this dream.
Zhao Yiyi was already feeling terrible. She had been staying quietly in Jiaofang Palace, not provoking him, but he just wouldn’t let her go. Her crescent brows knitted tightly, and the more she thought about it, the more aggrieved she felt.
Thus, when she faced him, she naturally had no good expression. “Your Majesty, please call my maid in. This consort made it very clear just now: I do not need Your Majesty’s medicine.”
Gu Zhen suppressed his anger and glanced at her, then raised his voice to call Yunzhu inside.
Broken porcelain pieces were scattered on the floor, and the decoction had soaked into the lotus-patterned rug, filling the entire bedchamber with the smell of medicine.
Yunzhu was startled and instinctively looked up, only to see the Emperor holding the Empress’s wrist, staring at her with deep, dark eyes.
After a moment of contemplation, Gu Zhen finally chose to conceal what had just happened, unwilling to let the servants know about their private affairs. “Zhen accidentally broke the medicine bowl just now. Go brew another bowl and bring it here.”
The atmosphere and situation in this hall… how does it look like an accidental breakage? Clearly…
Yunzhu’s heart trembled. She dared not think further, nor did she dare to ask more. She only lowered her head and responded, roughly gathered a few pieces of porcelain, and turned to withdraw.
Silence returned to the hall. Gu Zhen released his hand, his cold, severe phoenix eyes lowering to look at her. He pulled a handkerchief from beside the pillow and casually wiped the wound on his hand.
The handkerchief quickly turned red.
Staring at her for a moment, the anger in his heart miraculously subsided.
Forget it. She’s sick like this; better not to bicker with her about these things, lest I give myself a headache.
With that, he reached out to check Zhao Yiyi’s forehead and said flatly, “When the medicine comes in a moment, drink it obediently and go to sleep. Be good.”
“Could Your Majesty please stay a bit further away from this consort?” Zhao Yiyi leaned against the headboard with her dark hair loose, her mind still somewhat groggy, and said hoarsely, “This consort is sleepy.”
I’m so sleepy. I want to sleep. If I sleep, I won’t have to look at him.
Gu Zhen looked at her, feeling a strangeness in his heart. He reached out to pull the brocade quilt up to cover her knees, his voice calm and rippleless. “Zhen will leave after watching you drink the medicine.”
Tonight, hearing that the Empress’s illness had relapsed, he hadn’t intended to come over.
Memorials were spread out on the desk one by one, but he found he had no mind to review them. Half a day passed, and he hadn’t finished reading even a single memorial.
After struggling and hesitating for a long time, he finally couldn’t endure it anymore, thinking he would come over to take a look at her. Maybe after seeing her, I can calm down.
To this day, he had to admit, he might care about the Empress a little bit.
Although Zhao Yiyi was still groggy and uncomfortable, her mind was unusually clear. “Did Your Majesty not understand this consort’s words?”
Though the candlelight was faint, the moment she lifted her eyes, she clearly glimpsed his stunned expression. She continued on her own, “This consort now no longer wishes to have any ties with Your Majesty.”
“This consort is tired. Being Your Majesty’s Empress is too tiring. So tired, so tired.”
A look of confusion flashed across Gu Zhen’s face, which turned into disbelief after he recovered, and finally transformed into annoyance.
His face turned cold. Staring at her face, bright as the moon, scanning from her brow to her chin, he asked word by word, “What do you mean by saying this?”
Perhaps she’s still angry.
He thought dazedly, Should I coax her? Zhao Yiyi is so easy to fool. Making a fuss for these days, isn’t it just because she wants me to coax her? If I coax her, she should be fine, right?
Thinking of this, he closed his eyes and said in a deep voice, “The previous matter was Zhen’s fault. I spoke too heavily.”
Zhao Yiyi smiled. “Your Majesty, this consort used to not believe in fate, always thinking that as long as one is willing to act, everything can go according to one’s wishes. But now I understand that some things may be destined from the start and cannot be forced.”
Gu Zhen’s Adam’s apple rolled up and down. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and asked hoarsely, “What?”
“For example, this consort and Your Majesty are probably born unsuitable to be husband and wife.” Lifting her face to look at the man she had liked for many years, Zhao Yiyi pinched her fingertips and finally made up her mind to say this sentence.
The gentleman I liked for many years, the gentleman who once filled my heart and eyes, whom I once thought was the best in the world… he is finally gone, never to be found again.
Since he can’t be found, let it go.
A look of astonishment appeared on Gu Zhen’s face. His heart was in turmoil, urgently wanting to grasp something, and in the next instant, he grasped Zhao Yiyi’s wrist.
The force was so great it almost crushed her smooth, jade-like wrist.
“Hurts…” Zhao Yiyi frowned and tried to pull back, desperately trying to withdraw her wrist.
Gazing at the obvious grievance on that hibiscus face, Gu Zhen’s eyes gradually turned dark and sinister. He asked in a deep voice, “Speak clearly.”
What does ‘born unsuitable to be husband and wife’ mean?
Because of the late Emperor, he had never believed in gods and Buddhas, and sniffed at such words. Thinking about it, he couldn’t help but sneer.
Since she wants to talk about ‘born’, then I will have a good talk with her. He loosened his large palm slightly and parted his lips slightly: “When the marriage was not yet decided, the Directorate of Astronomy divined our birth dates, and the hexagram was ‘Great Auspiciousness’. This matter is known to everyone.”
Father was originally a hero of civil and military virtue, but alas, heaven did not grant him years. Since falling ill, Father believed firmly in the Dao of Heaven and gods and Buddhas. Divining the marriage of the Crown Prince and the prospective Crown Princess at the ancestral temple and obtaining a ‘Great Auspiciousness’ result, he was immediately overjoyed and rewarded all the officials.
No one does not know, no one is unaware.
“Then perhaps… the Directorate of Astronomy divined wrong.” Zhao Yiyi’s rosy lips pressed tight, then gradually turned white. Her hand hanging by her side clenched, fingernails digging deep into her flesh.
Gu Zhen chuckled lightly. “Divined wrong?”
To this day, married for more than two years, she tells me that our horoscopes clash, that we are born unsuitable to be husband and wife, and that perhaps the Directorate of Astronomy divined wrong.
Simply absurd!
Boundless anger erupted from his heart. Gu Zhen stared at her fixedly for a long time. Upon meeting her eyes, calm as water, he suddenly felt defeated.
“Explain clearly to Zhen,” he said coldly.
She turned her head, looking at the person she had always kept in her heart, her nominal husband, her eyes curving. “Does Your Majesty think we are suitable?”
Part 2
Actually, from the beginning, this marriage was wrong.
It was my aunt wanting to maintain power and status, and it was also my wishful thinking.
I shouldn’t have provoked him.
Shouldn’t have from the start.
Fortunately, it’s not too late now; there is still a chance to remedy it.
The corners of Zhao Yiyi’s eyes turned slightly red. A faint, indifferent smile tugged at the corner of her lips, and she said softly, “Your Majesty once said you disliked the daughters of the Zhao clan. This consort’s words today should align with Your Majesty’s wishes. Why this appearance?”
Gu Zhen was stunned, looking at her in bewilderment. The hand holding her wrist gradually lost strength and hung down sluggishly.
His heart beat faster and faster, his fingertips trembled slightly, and his throat felt blocked by something, slightly choked.
“Yiyi.” He suddenly called out in a low voice, his voice uncontrollably trembling. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. “Where did you hear that from?”
“Where did I hear it from?” Zhao Yiyi looked up at the fragrant ball hanging from the top of the bed curtains and smiled. “Let this consort think carefully.”
Outside the hall, it was drizzling, the sound of rain tapping on the windowsill crisp and pleasant. When Zhao Yiyi turned her head, a flash of lightning happened to strike, illuminating his face clearly.
Usually cold and handsome, his face was actually somewhat pale at this moment.
She said warmly, “Didn’t Your Majesty say this yourself?” Sensing his breathing gradually becoming rapid, Zhao Yiyi found it even more laughable. “That day at the Altar of Agriculture, when Your Majesty was speaking with Chancellor Cheng, did you ever think that this consort was not asleep?”
Boom—
The thunder finally crashed down. Accompanied by this spring thunder, his heart felt as if it were tightly gripped and torn by a large hand, crushing him to the point of breathlessness.
She heard it?
The reason I spoke in the room that night, separated only by a screen, was because I thought even if she heard it, it didn’t matter.
But now knowing she really heard it, why… why do I suddenly feel so terrible?
My heart is twisted into a knot.
“Yiyi…” He opened his lips with difficulty and called out.
Zhao Yiyi turned her head away and said softly, “Your Majesty, don’t call me that. This consort cannot bear it.”
So it turns out he also knows my childhood name.
Pity, it is at a time when I have decided to give up on him.
With a creak, the door was pushed open again, and the rich, hot smell of medicine wafted through the hall.
Accompanied by slow footsteps, it seemed Yunzhu had brewed the medicine again and brought it over.
“Your Highness, this slave heated another bowl. Drink it quickly while it’s hot.” Yunzhu bent down, intending to hand the celadon medicine bowl to her.
But it was taken by Gu Zhen.
“The door hinges need some oil,” he said inexplicably, then instructed Yunzhu amidst her confused look, “You go down first.”
Following the open door, the desolate wind of the rainy night drilled in, skillfully bypassing the screen and blowing into the bed curtains.
Zhao Yiyi couldn’t help but pull the brocade quilt tighter. Her small face became even whiter, and her lips, usually red without rouge, had lost all color.
When Yunzhu left, she lit a few more candles and closed the door.
For servants like them, they naturally hoped from the bottom of their hearts that His Majesty and Her Highness would be well. No matter what family, a woman falling out with her husband would not have a good life.
Especially since Her Highness was the Empress. Between an Emperor and Empress, there was never talk of divorce, only deposition.
She had wanted to persuade her at first, but every time she saw Her Highness’s pale face, saw the repeated disputes and quarrels between her and His Majesty, and saw her unhappy face, she lost the heart to persuade.
Yunzhu couldn’t understand. It clearly wasn’t like this before.
The Empress of the past, as long as His Majesty was mentioned, would subconsciously purse her lips and smile, her eyes filled with endless light. But since the incident at the Marquis of Huai’an’s residence, that light has gradually extinguished.
Between the two, there are only endless quarrels.
The room suddenly became much brighter.
Doing his best to suppress the panic in his heart, Gu Zhen scooped a spoonful of medicine with a trembling hand and softened his voice, “Be good, stop making a scene, okay? Drink the medicine and sleep, and you’ll be fine tomorrow.”
Zhao Yiyi didn’t answer, just staring at the medicine in his hand.
Those clear almond eyes seemed to contain many unspoken words.
After staring at each other for a long time, Gu Zhen finally lost the battle, allowing her to reach out and snatch the medicine bowl away.
The prescription was roughly the same as the previous two days, just with a few more ingredients added because her illness relapsed today. The medicine tasted bitter. Zhao Yiyi felt annoyed just smelling it. She lowered her head to sniff it, then grasped the bowl rim and the spoon together, and under his gaze of shock and anger, drank it all in one gulp.
Gu Zhen was furious and snatched the medicine bowl from her hand, only to see she had already drunk it all, leaving only a little residue at the bottom of the celadon bowl.
“Do you not want your life?” he asked sternly. “Can’t you feel how hot this medicine is?”
Zhao Yiyi didn’t answer. She wanted to take a handkerchief to wipe the corner of her lips, reaching out to fumble by the pillow, but couldn’t find a trace of the handkerchief.
Maybe Yunzhu took it away. She thought blankly, and was too lazy to look for the handkerchief anymore.
Gu Zhen slammed the medicine bowl onto the side table and grabbed her arm. “You’re angry to this extent? You were already sick, yet you’d rather abuse your body than disobey Zhen?”
Zhao Yiyi’s face was wooden. That hibiscus face lost its usual vividness and spirit. She leaned weakly against the headboard, staring at him blankly.
“Does Your Majesty know?” She smiled, a glimmer of light suddenly appearing in her eyes. “I used to like Your Majesty. From the first time I saw Your Majesty, I liked you. I liked you so much, so much.”
Liked you so much that at every banquet, big or small, my eyes subconsciously chased your figure, and I had to look away before being discovered by you. If our eyes met, I had to pretend to look away inadvertently, while in reality, my heart felt like it had eaten a piece of malt sugar.
Very sweet.
Sweet enough to make my heart jump for joy.
Liked you so much that I cared for nothing else, putting your wishes first in everything. For you, I was willing to endure strict palace rules, difficulties, interrogations, and contempt.
For you, I lived without a shred of self.
But even so, he still didn’t like her.
Didn’t like her from the very beginning. Disliked her to the point that all the officials in the Eastern Palace knew, only she herself didn’t know.
Still foolishly moving forward.
Afraid he didn’t despise me enough.
At that time, he must have thought: how could there be such an annoying person in this world?
How could someone be so annoying, using all means to marry him, and still delusionally hoping for favor?
Her eyes looking at the bed curtains were a bit dry. Zhao Yiyi blinked slowly, turning her head to look over. Seemingly looking at him, yet seemingly looking through him at something else. “Back then, if Your Majesty even said a single word to me, it was enough to make me happy for a long time.”
Gu Zhen’s brow jumped, his breathing stagnating for a moment. Like a dying person wanting to grasp something, he tightly gripped her arm, a layer of blood color gradually surging in his eyes. “What about now?”
Now? Now?
Her head suddenly hurt again, a pain like being pricked by needles. Zhao Yiyi smiled at him. “Now? That should be… not liking anymore.”
Not liking anymore?
How ridiculous.
The Zhao Yiyi who used to be full of him, whose every move told him of her liking, today tells him she doesn’t like him anymore.
The blood color grew thicker. Gu Zhen’s face was as gloomy as water. Gritting his teeth, he asked her word by word, slowly, “Is your liking or disliking so easy?”
How can she be like this.
Clearly, the Zhao Yiyi who forced him to say whether he liked her or not when drunk not long ago… how can she just look at him and lightly spit out a sentence: not liking anymore.
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