Chapter 60: Horse Racing in the Apricot Grove part 1
The long night was silent and cool as water.
Zhao Yiyi half-propped herself up, leaning gently against the bedside. A three-part smile hung on her lips, and her eyes also held a smile as she looked at him softly.
That light, ethereal voice was incredibly gentle.
She raised her eyebrows slightly, her eyes containing a hint of amorous charm, and lightly hooked the corner of her lips: “Hm?”
That rising ending note could easily hook a person’s heartstrings, making it impossible to let go ever after.
Gu Zhen was stunned. A trace of confusion flashed in his bloodshot phoenix eyes. He stood before the couch, staring at her blankly.
After a long while, just when Zhao Yiyi felt bored and intended to turn over and sleep, Gu Zhen suddenly grasped her hand, bent his knees, and knelt before the couch.
Zhao Yiyi’s fingers resting on the edge of the couch curled up, suddenly clenched into a fist. The knuckles on the back of her fair hand protruded, the remaining rosiness disappearing, becoming even more pale.
For a moment, she lost her speech.
The inner hall fell into a deathly silence. Only the faint sound of the water clock came from outside intermittently, drop by drop, striking on the heartstrings.
Looking at the man kneeling before her with red eyes, Zhao Yiyi remained silent.
Before, she only thought he was handsome and proud, noble as jade, stern towards everything, nothing catching his eye.
Nothing ever truly entered his heart.
In this world, there was probably nothing that could make him change countenance.
He was so high above; therefore, between the two, it was always her bowing first, her lowering her stature first.
Only today did she know that when he cared about someone, he could also lower himself into the dust. Breaking all his proud bones, just listening to her words like this, kneeling before her.
Not that he couldn’t, not that he didn’t understand.
It was just that he hadn’t taken it to heart.
But… so what?
Taking a deep breath, a sneer appeared on Zhao Yiyi’s lips. She leaned over and seized Gu Zhen’s chin, whispering, “Bixia, this concubine was lying to you. Did you really believe it?”
Her tone remained as gentle as always, brushing across the heart like spring water.
But while flowing past casually, it suddenly clenched the tip of the heart, crumpling it into a ball with force, as if not stopping until the last drop of blood was wrung dry.
Panting rapidly a few times, Gu Zhen closed his eyes slowly. His eye rims gradually turned red. He reached out upward, probing, wanting to grasp a corner of her clothes.
That moon-white corner of clothes was right before his eyes, its texture flowing like clouds, extremely beautiful—he had seen it before too.
But before his fingertips could touch that corner of clothes, Zhao Yiyi looked down, reached out deftly, mercilessly pulled away her own corner of clothes, and then brushed away his hand.
Gu Zhen’s eyes turned completely red. His eye sockets felt sour and swollen, uncomfortably so.
He looked up at the beloved before him and asked with a hoarse voice, “Yiyi, whatever you want, We will give you in the future. Whatever you like, We will find for you. Don’t throw a tantrum anymore. Let us be the same as before, okay?”
Same as before?
Zhao Yiyi pulled the corner of her lips lightly, let go of her hand, and whispered, “No.”
“Yiyi…” Gu Zhen intended to speak again, but didn’t know what to say.
He could only look at her with red eyes, his gaze dyed with a few traces of despair.
The next moment, he finally went mad, tightly grasping her wrist. The force was so great that her wrist began to ache faintly.
“Bixia, let go!” She looked at him with some annoyance.
But Gu Zhen refused. His voice was dyed with dullness, revealing strands of hoarseness. Embracing her body, he leaned down to look at those rosy diamond-shaped lips. Just as he was about to lower his head to kiss, he stopped abruptly upon meeting those eyes clear and cold as ice.
Zhao Yiyi turned back at this moment, looking at him with a smile. “Same as before?” She asked once, and before he could answer, she continued on her own, “I wonder, the ‘same as before’ Bixia speaks of, how is it the same?”
“Is it the same as not even remembering my birthday, or the same as letting others bully me, or the same as when you scolded me?”
Speaking on, she also recalled past events, only finding them incredibly laughable.
She didn’t want to be the same as before.
Not even a bit.
Gu Zhen was stunned, dropping his hands powerlessly, lowering his brows and eyes. “It was We who spoke wrong. We only meant to say, to be able to…”
Halfway through his words, he choked several times, almost unable to continue.
Zhao Yiyi narrowed her apricot eyes slightly, sat up straight, and called him warmly, “Bixia, but I don’t want to.” Looking straight into his eyes—those eyes she used to shyly look away from—she said word by word, “But I really don’t want to.”
These words turned into sharp blades, shooting through his heart one after another.
Gu Zhen suddenly lost his voice, his body trembling slightly.
“This concubine said last time, let the past pass, cancelling each other out. But this doesn’t mean this concubine can forget.” Zhao Yiyi pointed to her heart and said softly, “Does Bixia know, this place hurts?”
Regarding the past, if saying he completely didn’t like her, it wasn’t entirely true either.
With his temperament, if he was annoyed to the extreme, he probably wouldn’t have let her be Empress either.
It was just that that sporadic bit of affection ultimately counted for nothing. For him, he wouldn’t stand up for her or do anything for her for the sake of that sporadic bit of affection.
But she insisted on seeking those things she knew were hard to obtain.
So wasn’t she just getting herself bruised all over?
Zhao Yiyi suddenly felt somewhat uncomfortable. She slipped on her embroidered shoes and got off the couch, wanting to pour a cup of water to drink.
But just taking half a step, her arm was grabbed by him.
With Gu Zhen’s gentle pull, she was embraced in his arms.
Zhao Yiyi struggled a few times. Unexpectedly, the force he used this time wasn’t small; she actually couldn’t break free.
“Yiyi.” Gu Zhen called her with a hoarse voice, lightening his tone. “We just hug for a while, just a while, okay? Don’t push Us away.”
Being held tightly in his arms, Zhao Yiyi could clearly feel his heartbeat. Unlike the steady and powerful beat of the past, it carried some stagnation and slowness.
Gu Zhen rested his chin on her shoulder, embracing her gently like holding a rare treasure, as if wanting to rub her into his marrow.
The scent of storax lingered in his breath. Only at this moment did Gu Zhen feel his heart settle, his breathing gradually calming down.
Suddenly a few scalding drops slid onto her neck. Zhao Yiyi shrank slightly, wanting to turn back to look, but was held down by him. “Be good, don’t look.”
Don’t look, don’t look at what?
Zhao Yiyi was slightly stunned. Wanting to turn her head again, she was still held down by him.
This time, Gu Zhen’s voice carried a plea: “Don’t look, okay? Don’t look…”
She finally heard it. In the usually cold and deep voice, there was choking and astringency. It was like, it was like… Zhao Yiyi’s breath paused. She glanced sideways at the screen and didn’t think further.
The sound of the water clock rang intermittently. Gu Zhen finally let go, looking at her carefully, like a child who had done something wrong.
But Zhao Yiyi had no mind to care. She pulled away directly, stood by the table, poured herself a cup of cold water, and drank it in one go.
Gu Zhen wanted to say drinking cold water wasn’t good, but his lips moved, and ultimately he was sensible and didn’t say it.
He also knew that if this were in the past, Yiyi would only have put down the tea joyfully and ordered someone to boil a pot of hot water.
The current her hearing this would only feel annoyance.
His heart tip trembled. Gu Zhen thought to himself, the current him should understand his position in Yiyi’s heart.
“It’s getting late.” Zhao Yiyi drank the cold water, pursed her lips, and said indifferently, “Bixia go back to rest early; this concubine also wants to sleep.”
So, he actually had times when he broke that proud bone.
Pity it was towards the current her.
Ignoring the person beside her, Zhao Yiyi went straight to the window, staring at the apricot blossoms scattered all over the ground outside in a daze.
The weather these few days was somewhat damp. Water vapor gathered on the petals, all drooping listlessly, no longer having the spirit of before.
Even the few birds stopping on the treetops seemed much heavier in body, having lost all agility.
Perhaps sensing someone here, the bird stopping on the highest branch looked over. It wasn’t afraid of strangers at all, flew to the windowsill with a flutter, and tilted its head to look at Zhao Yiyi.
She laughed despite herself, reached out to touch the bird’s head, and frowned, “What are you looking at me for? I don’t have food for you.”
After talking to the bird for a while and pouring some clean water on the windowsill to feed it, until the bird flew back to the treetop again, she turned her head abruptly, only to see that person was no longer behind her.
Just right to have a peaceful sleep.
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