I’d Do Anything for Money
[Double-click the logo.]
Qi En did as told.
He inexplicably became nervous.
The homepage of the website gradually blurred.
At first, Qi En thought something was wrong with his computer.
He patted the monitor.
A moment later, the webpage returned to normal, the logo remaining the same.
But those six characters had changed.
The cat mimicked a lazy stride, white mist puffing from the cooling vents at the base of its neck, faintly warm.
[Liberum Mortis Arbitrium, the Book of the Dead.]
[This is the Star Ring Federation’s largest hitman organization, abbreviated as LMA, meaning Free Death.]
Below this string of foreign text was the organization’s slogan: “Point of no return”.
Qi En couldn’t read the bird language, so he skipped it.
At this time, he noticed that the suited man making the wiping gesture in the homepage background image now held a dagger in his hand.
Qi En looked at the little cat: “Do you mean for me to become a hitman?”
“Even if I went to be a security guard, no one would spare me a glance.”
Qi En straightened his arm, grabbed the cat’s paw, and pressed it against his forearm. “Look, I don’t have any muscle at all. How can I be a hitman?”
[You can do it. Your forte isn’t physical combat.]
“Then what is it?”
Qi En’s eyes suddenly rounded, like stars suddenly lit up.
[Charm.]
Qi En was stunned for a moment.
After reacting, he released the mouse, kicked the floor, and slid back a distance with the computer chair.
“Bad cat…”
The cat took over control of his mouse.
It stepped on the mouse, moving the cursor to a certain place, and the website’s introduction panel popped up:
Want to get rich overnight? Want to vent about the injustice you’ve suffered? Want to kill your enemy with your own hands for revenge? Then join LMA and become a hitman of the new era.
Qi En’s almond eyes narrowed slightly as he frowned.
“Sounds like a scam.”
It didn’t match the image of a mysterious hitman organization at all.
The cat said: [This ad copy looks the most unreliable on the official website, but actually, this organization is very legitimate. Don’t worry about it cheating you out of money.]
Qi En only cared about one thing: “How much money can I make here?”
[That depends on how much the commission for the task you choose is.]
[You are currently in visitor mode, with limited permissions, unable to see the commission system and task system. There’s no way to know specifically.]
[There is also a semi-public bounty list that only displays the top ten highest commissions. Didn’t you want to know how much you can earn? You can take a look at it to get a feel.]
“Okay, where do I see it?”
Qi En couldn’t wait to get a feel for it.
The little cat continued to move its mechanical paw and clicked open the list.
This list was concise and clear. The person ranked first had a number followed by many zeros on the right.
Qi En opened his mouth slightly, revealing a bit of his pearly white teeth.
“This person’s bounty is such a long string!”
He opened his arms, gesturing.
Then he extended a finger to poke at the screen, starting to count how many “0”s followed the “1”.
“One, two, three, four… eight?”
“Is it eight zeros?”
“Eight zeros, how many ten thousands is that?”
“Ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, ten thousands, hundred thousands, millions… ten millions… uh, I can’t calculate it.”
[The first place has nine zeros, a total of ten digits.]
[Which is one billion.]
Qi En had never seen so much money in his life. His eyes lit up, he licked his lips, and immediately turned to the little cat and said, “I want to be a hitman!”
[…This list doesn’t have much reference value. Just because the first place has this much money doesn’t mean other commission tasks are this amount. Just get a feel for how rich the people commissioning hitmen are.]
“Why is there no reference value? I see the second and third place below, and the tenth place also has a lot of money. Ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, ten thousands… many ten thousands.”
[But generally, tasks with bounties of a few hundred thousand are more common.]
“Then I’ll just choose from those commissions with high bounties.”
Qi En thought that number one was very good.
There’s one billion!
No one should be snatching it from him, right?
Because he saw that the words “Taken” didn’t follow the number one spot, while the tenth and ninth places did.
“Hurry up and teach me how to do it? I want to be a hitman.”
[Hitmen have to kill people. Can you do it?]
“I definitely can! …I’d do anything for money!”
“Even if I don’t know how, I can learn.”
The little cat tapped the screen: [Do you see the two words ‘Register’ in the upper right corner? Click in.]
Qi En did as told.
His heart was beating so fast; he was so nervous.
He was about to touch the threshold of a hitman.
Qi En’s mind was full of images of himself dressed in black, standing on a rooftop, holding a gun in his hand, his trench coat fluttering in the wind.
Super cool.
He could also eliminate harm for the people; he could also become someone who contributes to society.
The cat interrupted his thoughts:
[Are you distracted?]
Qi En blushed a little. “I clicked in. Continue.”
[Select “Become a Hitman”.]
[This is the application form. After filling it out, just click submit.]
[This is the first hurdle to becoming a hitman: data screening. LMA processes hundreds to thousands of application forms every day, many of which are resubmitted after being rejected. Competition is so fierce, so you have to highlight your strengths on the form so that others will notice you at first glance, otherwise you will fade into the crowd.]
“Fade into what?”
[It’s an old saying.]
Qi En didn’t understand, and neither did the cat.
But this wasn’t the point; filling out the form well was.
Qi En sat on the computer chair, which was adjusted very high.
His feet couldn’t touch the ground, dangling in mid-air, gently swinging.
He filled it out very seriously, taking two hours.
The little cat said to highlight his strengths on the basis of filling out the form honestly, but Qi En told a few lies.
Name: Qi En
Codename (Self-chosen): enn
Height: 190cm
Weight: 300kg
Shoe size: 38
Physique (Self-assessed): S+ grade
…
In the work experience column, Qi En wrote this—
Miro streamer En-En-chan, 3 million fans, ID: enenjl520520.
He also attached a link to his personal homepage and some screenshots of his account.
He originally wanted to listen to the little cat and add a sentence at the end: “After the application is approved, private message me to get two sets of recent private photos and a custom video.”
But Qi En didn’t write it and beat up the little cat.
The little cat didn’t hurt, but his hand turned red.
In the personal skills column, Qi En wrote very seriously—
Good at martial arts, knows hundreds of moves.
Actually, it was dance arts, finger tutting.
However, he didn’t know a single one; he had forgotten them all.
Can use a variety of firearms, good at AKM, P92, UZI, Vector, SCAR-L, GROZA, AWM, Kar98k, MK14, M249.
Qi En saw these in a game called “Peace Battlefield” on his tablet.
He wanted to make himself look impressive, so he copied a long list.
Qi En always kept the little cat’s words in mind.
Writing so many characters would definitely attract attention and make him stand out from so many application forms.
In order to immersively experience the feeling of shooting and adapt to the hitman identity in advance, Qi En even played a round of the game.
Later he also wrote: Good at horsemanship, can use Tang swords.
This was also learned in the game.
Because he saw someone riding a horse rushing towards him, then jumping off the horse and hacking him to death with a sword, while he didn’t even use a single bullet, so he wrote down this awesome vehicle and weapon.
He also wrote: Good at socializing, good communication skills, experienced in communicating with millions of people.
Millions of people referred to the fans in the livestream room.
After filling it out, he clicked submit.
Qi En pressed his fingertips against the pink mechanical keyboard and pushed gently, pushing the keyboard away a little.
He took a deep breath, his shoulders that had been tense for a long time shrugged up, then dropped heavily.
Perfect!
He would definitely pass the first level!
The little cat said to him:
[You are too fake.]
[Leaving aside the personal experience part, your height and weight should ideally not differ too much from your actual self.]
Qi En hummed lightly: “You don’t understand, I’m doing this to increase the success rate of the application.”
Suddenly, a portrait collection window popped up in the middle of the computer.
“…”
Why was there still this step?
He was going to be exposed.
[Why don’t you close it and fill it out again?]
But what Qi En filled out just now wasn’t saved. If he filled it out again, it would take almost two hours.
Let’s try first; what if he passes?
So Qi En bit the bullet and pressed the “Start Collection” option.
A circle appeared in the middle of the computer, with a human head-shaped outline inside.
Qi En adjusted his position and put his face in the frame.
Then he followed the prompts to do different actions: blink, open mouth, stick out tongue, show side profile…
It wasn’t over yet; now it was time for full-body collection.
The frame suddenly became longer and larger, including Qi En’s upper body in the picture.
Qi En had to stand up according to its requirements and record his full-body information.
After recording, a 3D villain appeared on the screen, exactly the same as Qi En.
The villain opened his arms slightly and spun automatically in the middle.
Then a “Collection Complete” prompt popped up.
After doing all this, Qi En sat back in the chair, the corners of his lips curling down. “It definitely won’t work. Let’s start over…”
He moved the mouse to the upper right corner. At this time, a few lines of small white text suddenly appeared in the middle of the collection page:
[Your application data has been submitted. If you pass the preliminary data screening, you will receive a receipt within the next 12 hours. Please follow the instructions on the receipt at that time.]
[If no receipt is received, the application has failed.]
“Or switch to the commission system in the upper left corner of the homepage, looking forward to working with you next time.”
“Little trick for insurance fraud: commissioning yourself to kill yourself is also possible…”
Qi En read very carefully, reading even such small print word by word, and reading it out loud word by word.
[Ignore the last sentence.]
Qi En said “Oh”.
“Then what should I do next? Do I just wait? Should I write the application form again?”
Just as he finished speaking, the phone face down on the table suddenly rang with a “ding”.
Qi En picked up the phone and looked.
It was an intercepted text message, and the first few words of the message content were “LMA Application Receipt”.
Wasn’t it 12 hours? Why was it so fast?
Could it be that his application was rejected directly?
Qi En took a deep breath and clicked to open the text message.
His index finger curled, rubbing his palm uneasily.
What came into view was:
Preliminary application passed. Please follow the operation tutorial below to enter the second round of interviews.
The rest of the content was a software download link.
He looked at the little cat, and seeing the little cat nod “click-click”, he clicked in with relief.
Download complete.
There was an extra app on his phone. The icon was the LMA logo, black background, white lines.
Click open, enter.
The interface was very simple, without flashy functions.
As soon as he entered, it was the message page.
The account was already bound to Qi En, so Qi En didn’t need to log in again.
There was only one contact pinned to the top with a star in this account.
That person’s nickname was “Dash”.
But…
“Why does his avatar look so much like me?”
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