Chapter 107: The Cannon Fodder in a Dogblood Novel (107)
His handwriting was elegant, with a bit of weight to the strokes, which suited his personality well.
“September 21,
Met him for the first time at Beijing University. He came out of the dormitory building, and I saw him at a glance.
I didn’t know what it felt like to have one’s heart skip a beat, but at that moment, my heart uncharacteristically pounded a bit fast…
Little Geng was right; the best-looking one is him.
…
The group of them was dead drunk.
I actually detest those kinds of foul environments,
But I wanted to see him.
He was drunk too.
He looked even more beautiful when drunk, so soft and well-behaved.
I carried him downstairs.
This was the first time since I developed skin-hunger syndrome that I’d had such close contact with another person.
My heart beat so fast it almost burst through my chest.
At that moment, I could barely suppress the intense desire within me.
I really wanted to kiss him.
But in the end, I did nothing.
Taking advantage of someone while they’re down is too impolite.”
…
“September 23,
I had someone investigate him. Although it’s illegal, I wanted to know everything about him too badly.”
…
“September 24,
He isn’t living well in the Jiang family. I really want to spirit him away and raise him myself… I could definitely raise him well.”
…
“September 26,
Haven’t seen him in a long time. I miss him. I secretly had someone follow him and take some photos… I feel like a pervert! But I can’t restrain the longing in my heart.”
…
“October 1,
On a business trip to City S. At the auction, I spotted that bracelet at a glance. He’ll definitely look good wearing it.”
…
“October 11,
I made up an excuse, using the pretext of bringing him clothes, to finally see him. I gave him the gift. He indeed looks very good wearing it. I’m very happy.”
…
Shen Tangqing stopped here, completely frozen.
He took the bracelet Zhou Shuli had given him from the drawer.
His fingertips repeatedly rubbed the lapis lazuli bead.
So, this was a gift specifically sent to him?
After a long silence, Shen Tangqing continued flipping through.
He saw Zhou Shuli write about how he wanted to get close to Shen Huayan and how he wanted to marry Shen Tangqing. His mouth couldn’t help but twitch.
Marry him?
A sense of absurdity mixed with disbelief surged in his heart, leaving him unsure how to react.
The pages flipped one by one, until he saw his own “death”—
Shen Tangqing’s pupils constricted, and his breath stopped instantly.
In the diary, Zhou Shuli had written only one short sentence.
“He’s cowardly; he’ll definitely be afraid over there alone. I have to go and accompany him.”
…
Shen Tangqing stared blankly at that line of text.
The ink-colored handwriting seemed to carry heat, yet also felt as if it were dipped in ice, making his blood almost freeze.
After an unknown amount of time, as if in a stress response, he grabbed the phone on the desk and dialed Zhou Geng’s number.
The phone rang for a long time, and just as it was about to hang up automatically, it was answered.
“Who is this?” Zhou Geng’s voice carried a trace of fatigue. Through the phone line, Shen Tangqing felt he was a bit different than before.
Perhaps Brother Zhou’s death had been too much of a blow to him, and he had to support the entire Zhou Group.
“Brother Geng, it’s me… Shen Tangqing.”
“Tangtang…” Zhou Geng’s voice suddenly rose, his tone full of unconcealed surprise and shock.
“Tangtang, why couldn’t I get through to your previous number? I kept calling and it was always turned off. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Shen Tangqing’s throat felt tight. He paused, then spoke.
“Brother Geng, how did Brother Zhou die?”
On the other end of the line, Zhou Geng seemed as if someone had grabbed his throat, and he fell silent instantly.
A few seconds later, his dry reply came through. “Illness.”
“Why did he get sick? Was it because of me?”
Shen Tangqing’s gaze fell on that line of Zhou Shuli’s writing, and the hand holding the phone trembled slightly.
Zhou Geng’s silence this time was even longer.
In the long quiet, only the faint hum of static could be heard in his ear.
“No, it wasn’t because of you. My brother had an illness that couldn’t be diagnosed.”
Zhou Geng chose to lie after all.
Before his death, Zhou Shuli had given instructions.
He wanted Zhou Geng to take good care of Shen Tangqing; he hoped Shen Tangqing could be safe and happy.
Since his brother had chosen not to express this love aloud, Zhou Geng respected his final wish and would keep this secret for him.
“Brother Geng, you’re lying to me…”
The five words were as light as a feather, yet they crashed heavily into Zhou Geng’s heart.
It made Zhou Geng’s nose sting.
He wasn’t good at lying, nor did he want to lie to Shen Tangqing.
He didn’t know how Shen Tangqing had found out, but this was something he shouldn’t know.
After a long silence, Shen Tangqing didn’t press Zhou Geng further.
“Brother Geng, when are you returning to Beijing?”
“Not sure yet. The project here is a bit troublesome.” Zhou Geng paused for a second, then suddenly reacted. “Tangtang, you’re back in Beijing?”
“Yeah, I’m back.”
“I’ll try my best to finish up here early. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Okay.”
…
After hanging up, Zhou Geng leaned powerlessly against the railing, reaching up to wipe his face hard.
From Zhou Shuli getting sick to his passing, he had been forced to take over the company for the past half year.
In terms of management, he truly didn’t have much talent.
After every social engagement, he missed the time when his brother was there.
Without his brother’s protective umbrella, the rain outside was too heavy.
It made it a bit hard for him to breathe.
He stood in silence for a long time, until the wind in the corridor blew away the moisture in his eyes. Only then did he tidy his clothes and return to the private room to continue socializing.
Meanwhile, Shen Tangqing remained seated at the desk for a long time after hanging up, not moving.
Only after a long while did he slowly close Zhou Shuli’s diary—
He carefully placed it in the deepest part of the drawer.
As if by doing so, he could seal away that heavy love.
But the unnameable throb and loss in his heart washed over his nerves again and again like a tide.
He felt for a cigarette from the pack, stood up, and went to the balcony.
The lighter’s flame flickered in the night, then quickly went out.
The crackling of the burning tobacco was exceptionally clear in the silent night.
He took a deep drag.
The spicy smoke made his throat tighten, and he couldn’t help but cough twice, his eyes turning a faint red.
He leaned against the cold railing, watching the distant neon lights blur into a hazy glow in his vision.
The tip of the cigarette glowed red, and the slowly rising smoke obscured his expression.
He thought of Li Qiulan, who would rather die than let him go.
He had intentionally stopped thinking about that person, but tonight, those suppressed emotions surged up like a tide.
He once again lost control and thought of him.
It was fortunate he was okay; otherwise, Shen Tangqing really would have wanted to dig up his grave.
What a damn good tactic—trying to use death to make him unable to forget him for a lifetime.
Stupid rogue!
…
And now there was another one, a Zhou Shuli who was willing to accompany him in death…
This intense and crazy love made Shen Tangqing a bit panicked.
But they were all men—
He was a man too…
How could a man be with a man?
His finger was burned by a sudden heat, and Shen Tangqing snapped back to reality.
The cigarette had burned out without him noticing.
He took a deep breath, stubbed out the cigarette butt, and tossed it into the trash.
But the question circling in his mind was like an overgrown vine, tightly entangling his thoughts; he couldn’t break free, nor could he push it away.
Even after he finished his shower, Shen Tangqing’s gaze fell on the red mark on his neck that had almost faded to the point of being invisible.
Is being the same sex truly that unacceptable?
After a moment, he frowned, cursing Li Qiulan under his breath.
“Big and unskilled, it was practically a murder attempt.”
Although it had only happened twice, didn’t that idiot know to go and learn some techniques?
Only that mouth of his was somewhat okay…
Realizing what he was thinking, Shen Tangqing suddenly froze, his cheeks turning bright red with both shame and annoyance.
After a few seconds, he suddenly raised his hand, and rubbed that red mark hard.
A “Fuck!” escaped his lips as he muttered unwillingly, “Why didn’t I just stab him to death!”
He stared at his own reddened earlobes in the mirror and thought irritably, forget it, men really aren’t an option, absolutely not!
At the very least, it’s extremely unfriendly to the “chrysanthemum.”
Translator’s Note: Damn! Tangqing is finally having an internal crisis about his sexuality. And poor Zhou Shuli… his diary was so heartbreaking but also a little creepy. Also, did Tangqing just complain about Li Qiulan’s “skills”? Hahaha! Looks like our straight man cannon fodder is starting to waver, even if he’s worried about his… “bottom” interests. “Chrysanthemum” (菊花) is a common Chinese slang for the anus, by the way. Stay tuned~
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