Chapter 69: So This Big Oaf is Into This?
“Halt! Kid, don’t even think about stealing my madam!”
A massive bird head struck straight for his face, its speed remarkably fast. Amidst his surprise, Feng Shi hurriedly performed a light flip, floating out of the way.
Following that, a loud clang was heard. The giant bird couldn’t brake in time and crashed into the spiritual wall it had set up itself.
Feng Shi: “…”
Shen Songhe: “…”
The giant bird bumped its head until it saw stars. It stood up and rested for quite a while before using its two large wings to wrap around its head, turning around and putting its back to the two of them, muttering softly to itself: “Not good… so embarrassing!”
Looking at the pink giant bird that was twice as tall as him even while squatting, Feng Shi truly didn’t know what kind of expression to make.
It was hard to imagine that this silly bird was the tyrannical demonic beast forcibly snatching beautiful men he had pictured in his mind.
So…
Feng Shi turned his gaze back to Shen Songhe on the side.
How exactly did Shizun get caught by this stupid thing?
Seeing his look, Shen Songhe embarrassedly covered his lips and coughed twice, explaining softly: “Its strength is indeed formidable…”
Although this bird looked incredibly stupid, Feng Shi truly didn’t dare to slack off. He stepped onto Wucheng to prepare to slip away.
The giant bird quickly snapped out of its daze. It first looked pitifully at Shen Songhe trapped within the spiritual wall, then pushed the shattered little gifts under its feet toward him: “The things for Madam, they’re all broken…”
Shen Songhe didn’t even spare it a glance. His gaze bypassed the spiritual wall, looking at Feng Shi on the side.
Receiving his message, Feng Shi nodded, urging Wucheng to carry him toward the cave exit.
Wucheng’s speed was already fast enough. Unexpectedly, although the giant bird’s body was as clumsy as its brain, its strength was indeed impressive, and its speed was also fast.
Feng Shi only saw a flash of crimson light before his eyes before he took a solid kick to the chest.
Cao…
Feng Shi’s back crashed into the uneven rock wall, a dull pain spreading out.
“Kid! Give me back my pretty gifts!” The giant bird’s eyes glinted fiercely, about to crash into Feng Shi again.
Feng Shi hurriedly recalled Wucheng from afar, returning a streak of sword light.
However, the chasm between the Yuanying and Zhuji stages was massive. After a few exchanges, Feng Shi felt like he was being completely dominated. Relying entirely on brute force without any need for technique, this giant bird could crush him.
“Cao! Clearly, you were the one who forcibly snatched him! You’re being unreasonable!”
The giant bird was too talkative, constantly muttering about Feng Shi stealing his madam and breaking his pretty things. Feng Shi couldn’t help but retort.
“Cao? What broken cao? I don’t eat grass!” The giant bird was unreasonable, flapping a wing to send Feng Shi flying, and continued to closely pursue and attack.
Feng Shi fought back as he ran, not forgetting to stubbornly reply: “Isn’t it just some flashy stuff? I have plenty of it!”
“Stop bragging! My things were super hard to find! They’re priceless treasures!” The giant bird didn’t believe him.
Feng Shi had a sudden inspiration and actually thought of a method.
“How about this!” Feng Shi negotiated with the giant bird: “Stop chasing me first, and I’ll take them out to show you, how about that?”
“I don’t want them! I want to kill you!”
Feng Shi was sweating profusely. He hurriedly opened the system and paused time to catch his breath.
“Phew, this guy is going to tire me to death.” Panting, he clicked on the shop on the system page.
The front page of the shop listed high-level items for killing people and saving lives. The highest prices sold for hundreds of thousands, and the lowest also cost fifty thousand.
Feng Shi glanced at his points. It would have been fine if he hadn’t looked, but upon looking, he almost couldn’t believe his eyes.
It turned out that, without him noticing, his points were almost enough to buy one of the cheapest items in here. Even with this, the overall favorability rating was still rising. If it stabilized, he would have hope of unlocking the OOC privileges before long.
This item was more than enough to kill this giant bird, but Feng Shi didn’t want to buy it. Instead, he clicked into the search bar.
Confetti cannons, bling-bling plastic diamonds, glass beads of various colors; he bought a handful of each.
Closing the panel, Feng Shi turned around on Wucheng, facing the giant bird head-on. Then, he pulled out an arm-thick confetti cannon from his robes.
Golden “Double Happiness” characters were printed on the bright red cylindrical body. Feng Shi selectively ignored them and pulled hard with his hand.
With a bang.
A sky full of fine plastic confetti rained down like golden flowers.
These reflective confetti pieces shifted into rainbow colors under the light in the cave, leisurely spinning as they fell to the ground. Even more of them landed on the giant bird’s body.
“Ah!”
The giant bird opened its beak wide, abruptly halting its movements, and tilted its head back to use its long beak to poke at the pieces.
To the side, Shen Songhe, who was striving to break through the spiritual wall, looked at the scene before him that had suddenly developed in a bizarre direction: “…”
Feng Shi hastily pulled two more in succession, asking: “How about it, I didn’t lie to you, did I?”
The giant bird stood in place spinning in circles, as happy as a complete fool, having no time to pay attention to him at all.
Left with no choice, Feng Shi pulled out a handful of plastic colored diamonds, all large ones, and tempted: “As long as you promise to let me and Shixiong go, I can give you even more.”
The giant bird’s attention was indeed drawn. It turned its head to stare at the diamonds in Feng Shi’s hand. Looking left and right, it didn’t seem very moved.
“I don’t want them, I just want Madam.” The giant bird forced its gaze away from Feng Shi’s hand with difficulty.
Feng Shi’s face fell. He tossed the things in his hand away casually and ran back into the system to dig around.
Buying everything he could from the system, Feng Shi showed them to the giant bird one by one. Unexpectedly, this guy’s self-control was quite good; he just wouldn’t take the bait.
Finally, Feng Shi looked at the bright red Northeast floral padded jacket embroidered with large flowers in his hand, silently preparing to give up. Unexpectedly, the giant bird suddenly started quacking loudly at this moment.
Feng Shi looked over in confusion, and then he saw the absolute amazement filling the giant bird’s eyes.
Feng Shi: “…”
Motherf*cker, so this big oaf was into this!?
“How about it? Do you want it?”
Feng Shi swallowed hard as he looked at the floral padded jacket. Forcing down his discomfort, he threw it over himself and then struck seductive poses to show it off to the giant bird.
A moment later, he hastily found time to get a complete set of Northeast-style gear from the system.
Pinching a bright red and purple embroidered headscarf in his hand, he waved it at the giant bird who was practically drooling, his voice full of laughter: “Such a worthwhile deal, is Brother Bird still not tempted?”
Hearing this, the giant bird uncontrollably took a step forward, its wings even stretching out. But its gaze landed on Shen Songhe on the side, and its wings paused, seemingly conflicted.
Seeing that there was really a chance, Feng Shi hurriedly continued adding fuel to the fire: “I also have a complete set of cotton bedding here, along with numerous fabrics, enough for Brother Bird to decorate your home beautifully. When the time comes, whatever pretty madam Brother Bird wants, won’t you have?”
The giant bird stomped its feet anxiously in place, its temptation value skyrocketing, its head swinging rapidly between Feng Shi and Shen Songhe.
Feng Shi directly took out the entire pile of things on him, stacking them in a thick pile on the ground, and said loudly: “I’ll give it all to Brother Bird!”
“Deal!”
The giant bird struck out like a whirlwind, removing the spiritual wall covering Shen Songhe. Then, without sparing him another glance, it gleefully pinched the padded jacket Feng Shi had placed on the ground.
Feng Shi: “…”
If this bird’s brain were even slightly brighter, and its thought process more normal, he could never have succeeded.
The giant bird pinched the clothing that was twice as small as it and spun in circles on the spot.
It lacked any awareness of controlling its strength.
Caught off guard, Feng Shi was blown back by the wind generated by its wings, stumbling until he was caught completely in the arms of the flying Shen Songhe.
“Shixiong!” Feng Shi smiled, leaning into his embrace, his arm naturally hanging around the other’s neck.
Shen Songhe nodded, lifting and carrying Feng Shi completely, riding the sword toward the cave entrance.
Behind the two, Feng Shi looked over Shen Songhe’s shoulder and saw that after spinning rapidly a few times, the giant bird actually transformed, becoming a muscular man with crimson hair and eyebrows.
The man grabbed the newly acquired floral clothes, unable to wait to throw them on.
A flash of inspiration struck Feng Shi’s mind again. Thinking of the eye-searing, colorful Huluwa cosplay outfit in the system, a plan formed.
“Shixiong, wait a moment!” Feng Shi squeezed the hand resting on the back of Shen Songhe’s head.
Shen Songhe obediently stopped in his tracks. Turning his head, he saw the stark-naked birdman. His face suddenly darkened, and without a second thought, he raised a hand to cover Feng Shi’s eyes, his voice turning cold: “Don’t look, it burns the eyes.”
Feng Shi: “…”
He peeled the other’s hand away, looking straight into Shen Songhe’s intensely jealous gaze, and gave a sly smile: “Shixiong, I have another idea…”
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