Chapter 96: Falling Out of Favor
After the deed, Tang Yinlang and Lin Xia went to the bathroom to shower. Lin Xia courted disaster by teasing Tang Yinlang, and as a result, he was pressed against the wall by Tang Yinlang for another round.
Coming out of the bathroom, Lin Xia’s legs were jelly, and he walked unsteadily.
Returning to the bedroom, Lin Xia saw White Dumpling sleeping soundly and couldn’t help feeling guilty. The innocent White Dumpling didn’t know what his Papa and Daddy had gone to do after he fell asleep.
Lin Xia lay on the bed, not sleepy at all. He kept his eyes open, lost in thought.
“What are you thinking about?” Tang Yinlang turned off the light and lay down beside Lin Xia.
“While shopping today, I saw Shihuan’s mood was a bit low…” Lin Xia thought of Liu Shihuan standing in the crowd, head bowed. People came and went beside him; looking at them, it was as if they existed in two different worlds. Liu Shihuan was immersed in his own world, making it impossible for others to merge in.
“He has depression.” The words fell lightly, but they hit Lin Xia’s heart heavily.
“What?” Lin Xia couldn’t control his volume. White Dumpling, still sleeping, moved his ears and mumbled something.
Tang Yinlang held Lin Xia’s hand, gently squeezing his palm to soothe him and calm his emotions.
“How can that be?” Lin Xia remembered Liu Shihuan’s smiling face; he looked like he had no problems. But Lin Xia had to admit, sometimes the feeling Liu Shihuan gave off was strange.
“His depression is already much better now.” Tang Yinlang said plainly, but Lin Xia could hear heartache in his tone. “Shihuan is a sensitive person…”
Liu Shihuan was a sensitive and somewhat pessimistic person. Such a personality made him cautious in his actions, planning every step, but it also made him prone to overthinking.
A sensitive and pessimistic person’s eyes seem covered by an invisible black cloth, viewing the world through blindfolded eyes.
Liu Shihuan entered the entertainment industry. He was very talented and became famous quickly, becoming a shining new star. But fame attracts controversy. After Liu Shihuan became famous, some unpleasant voices emerged. Sometimes it was malicious slander out of nothing; sometimes his specific behaviors were infinitely magnified and attacked.
Liu Shihuan’s appearance was the favorite topic of discussion for anti-fans and keyboard warriors. They said he was effeminate, that he might as well just be a woman, and so on. There were many, many things that became fodder for conversation among anti-fans and keyboard warriors.
When Liu Shihuan saw these negative comments, even knowing those people were talking nonsense, he would still take it to heart.
The price of being a public figure was that his private life could be exposed under the paparazzi’s lens at any time. He couldn’t make mistakes; once he did, people would seize on it and not let go. Sometimes even a small matter would be blasted as lacking character. Liu Shihuan went from someone who liked going out to play to forcibly becoming a shut-in fox.
Liu Shihuan lived every day carefully, not wanting to leave any handle for others to grab. He worked himself into a state of high anxiety, and as a result, depression appeared.
The year he was diagnosed with depression, Liu Shihuan’s agent called a halt to his work, using studying abroad as an excuse while he actually underwent treatment. Through treatment and the company of family, Liu Shihuan got much better.
…
“Why do people like anti-fans and keyboard warriors exist!” Lin Xia said indignantly. When scrolling through Weibo, he would see some bad comments. He didn’t understand why those people always evaluated others with the greatest malice. Even if this person was a public figure, he shouldn’t be a target for harm.
“There are always people with nothing better to do, self-righteously standing on the moral high ground to uphold justice, when in reality they are doing things that hurt others.” In the darkness, Tang Yinlang curled his lips in a sarcastic smile.
After learning that Liu Shihuan had developed depression, the family took action and sued the anti-fans who were jumping around the most, using some means to make them stay in prison for a few extra years. But for Liu Shihuan, apart from venting anger, this didn’t have much effect.
“Will Shihuan retire from the industry?” Lin Xia asked suddenly out of nowhere. As a hidden fan, he knew Liu Shihuan’s official status. Liu Shihuan’s works were becoming fewer and fewer; it was said only one TV drama would be released this year. Was this a prelude to retirement?
Hearing Tang Yinlang say that Liu Shihuan felt his private life lacked freedom, retiring seemed the best choice for him to regain it. Otherwise, regardless of whether it was himself or his future partner and children, they would all become objects of others’ attention, destined not to live a relaxed life.
Lin Xia often saw celebrities’ children in entertainment news. Media with a conscience would pixelate the faces to not expose the child’s appearance; media without conscience would post high-definition photos. Celebrities’ children also became objects of public attention, forced to lose a certain amount of freedom from a young age.
Although there’s a saying not to involve family, many media outlets liked to secretly photograph their family lives. It couldn’t be helped; it seemed public figures had to accept this setting…
“Shihuan has had thoughts of retiring. He struggled with this choice, but he still hasn’t retired. He loves his profession, and he doesn’t want to disappoint the people who like him.” Tang Yinlang recalled the period when Liu Shihuan paused work and stayed at home. He was very melancholic, but when bored, he would flip through scripts. “However, he has figured it out now. He’s slowly reducing his work. Maybe one day he just won’t film anymore.”
Liu Shihuan rarely participated in entertainment industry events now; he tried his best to become invisible in the industry.
“I see.” Lin Xia’s voice was muffled. He had a premonition that Liu Shihuan would retire. As a fan, Lin Xia didn’t want Liu Shihuan to leave, but he also hoped he could be happy.
“I’m jealous. You care about him too much.” Tang Yinlang sensed Lin Xia’s low mood and deliberately joked to lighten things up.
“Then take your time being jealous, I’m going to sleep.” Lin Xia turned over, his back to Tang Yinlang.
“So cold.” Tang Yinlang let out a low chuckle and embraced Lin Xia’s waist. “If Shihuan and I fell into the water at the same time, who would you save first?”
“Hmm?” Lin Xia didn’t expect Tang Yinlang to ask such a childish question, but he still thought about it seriously until Tang Yinlang tightened his arm around his waist. Tang Yinlang was nervous.
“Choose who?” Tang Yinlang felt his heart go cold; the answer Lin Xia gave surely wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear.
“Don’t you know how to swim?” Lin Xia made his choice based on reality. “Shihuan knows how to swim too, he wouldn’t need me either, right?”
He chose neither. This answer was much better than Lin Xia choosing Liu Shihuan. Tang Yinlang nodded subconsciously in satisfaction.
After nodding, Tang Yinlang realized his requirements for Lin Xia were getting lower and lower. His possessiveness toward Lin Xia was clearly very strong, yet regarding the matter of Lin Xia liking Liu Shihuan, he indulged Lin Xia. Was it because Liu Shihuan was his cousin and not someone else?
Unreconciled, Tang Yinlang bit Lin Xia’s neck, wanting to leave a distinct mark on it to declare his sovereignty.
“What are you doing?” Lin Xia shrank his neck in fright. Tang Yinlang’s teeth were very sharp; the taste of being bitten by a big tiger wasn’t pleasant at all.
Tang Yinlang left a mark contentedly, looking satisfied as if he had finished marking his territory.
“Goodnight,” Tang Yinlang said, in a rather good mood.
“Goodnight.” Lin Xia closed his eyes, smelling the familiar scent, and slowly entered dreamland.
The next day, pulling open the curtains after waking up, one could see the light rain drizzling outside the window. The weather had been sunny for a few days, and now it was raining lightly.
Going downstairs to make breakfast—breakfast for four. Tang Yinlang cooked congee and fried a few sunny-side-up eggs. He took out the sour radish and pickled vegetables Lin Xia had marinated, cut them into cubes, and stir-fried them to go with the congee.
Liu Shihuan came over holding an umbrella. It was prepared by Tang Yinlang when he first moved in, and today was the first time it was put to use.
“Morning!” Liu Shihuan saw a red mark on the back of Lin Xia’s neck and tsk-tsk‘ed twice at Tang Yinlang.
“Morning!” “Aowu!” Lin Xia and White Dumpling greeted him enthusiastically.
“Come over and eat.” Tang Yinlang served them congee.
“Cousin is truly domestic.” Liu Shihuan sat down, picking up his chopsticks and spoon.
“Eat your food.” Tang Yinlang glared at Liu Shihuan neither lightly nor heavily. He had eaten meat to his heart’s content yesterday, so he was in a good mood and didn’t bicker with Liu Shihuan.
Liu Shihuan didn’t speak anymore and ate silently. The taste of the sour radish and pickled vegetables was good; he couldn’t help but scoop a few more spoonfuls.
“Aowu!” An An and Papa pickled the radish and veggies! Seeing Liu Shihuan liked the pickles, White Dumpling’s heart was full of pride.
“An An knows how to make radish and pickles? That’s amazing!” Liu Shihuan gave him a thumbs up.
“Aowu!” Praised by the idol. White Dumpling lowered his head shyly, but his tail was cocked high, swaying in a way that made people want to grab and pet it.
“Tell Brother Shihuan what Baby did.” Lin Xia lifted the little tiger’s head and fed him a mouthful of congee.
“Aowu!” An An went with Papa to buy radishes and veggies, An An helped Papa transport radishes…
White Dumpling raised his paws and listed in detail how he helped during Lin Xia’s pickling process. After saying one sentence, Lin Xia would feed him a mouthful of congee. After swallowing, White Dumpling would continue speaking.
Undoubtedly, White Dumpling received Liu Shihuan’s praise again. White Dumpling felt smug inside and was particularly active in doing everything.
After breakfast, the family set off. Tang Yinlang dropped Lin Xia and the others at the pet shop as usual before driving to the company.
Meng Zheng arrived at the pet shop early, earlier than usual. He didn’t know if Liu Shihuan would still come, but he just wanted to wait here.
“Meng Zheng, are you covering for Ziyu’s shift?” Lin Xia asked. This morning should have been Wang Ziyu’s shift, but Meng Zheng came instead.
“Right, something came up for him suddenly, so he asked me to cover.” Meng Zheng answered. However, the truth was Meng Zheng had sought out Wang Ziyu to swap shifts.
“Mmhmm.” Lin Xia nodded, then went to feed the pets. An interested Liu Shihuan followed Lin Xia to feed the small animals, so Lin Xia let him feed the dog, Little Black.
Little Black still remembered Liu Shihuan. Seeing him, he excitedly barked a few times at him, as if saying hello.
“Really want to raise one…” Liu Shihuan muttered silently in his heart while stroking Little Black’s head. He liked Little Black very much, but he worried he wouldn’t raise him well; he didn’t have extra energy to raise a puppy.
He often overthought things, always imagining the bad side when encountering issues. Perhaps a single reason could make him change his mind.
Although he knew this wasn’t good, he couldn’t control his thoughts.
Through feeding, Liu Shihuan became a few degrees closer to Little Black. The thought of raising a dog surfaced in Liu Shihuan’s mind again, but in the end, he dropped it.
Turning around, he saw White Dumpling lying behind him with “resentful” eyes, watching Papa and Brother Shihuan pet the animals. He was fluffy too, why didn’t they come to pet him?
White Dumpling seemed to have forgotten who the little tiger that got shy when petted was…
Author’s Note: Wanted to write about the manifestations of Liu Shihuan’s depression, but seem to have written off-track T^T Liu Shihuan wants to regain his past freedom, but can’t bear to part with acting and his fans. He is very conflicted, attempting to achieve a balance between the two. Liu Shihuan: Melancholy… White Dumpling, Meng Zheng, Little Black: Let us heal you! Goodnight~
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