Chapter 50: About to Break — Rhythm Disrupted, Reason Gone
His head felt heavy, as if wrapped in a layer of damp cotton. “Take responsibility…” These two words floated on the tip of his tongue, though even Jiang Chenyan himself wasn’t entirely sure what kind of responsibility he was supposed to take.
He looked up blankly, his gaze crashing into Shen Shiyue’s eyes. The warmth from the other man’s lips hadn’t yet dissipated. “You kissed me.”
His thoughts turned a beat too slow.
Yes, he had kissed Shen Shiyue.
But this matter… “It’s not the first time, is it?”
Shen Shiyue’s brow furrowed slightly. He leaned forward, having not caught Jiang Chenyan’s words clearly. “What did you say?”
Jiang Chenyan’s Adam’s apple rolled. Meeting the other man’s suddenly focused gaze, he spoke his blurry doubt clearly: “I said, this isn’t the first time we’ve kissed.”
He hadn’t forgotten; the first time they kissed was during the simulation match.
He couldn’t remember the specific reason very clearly, only that they were pressed extremely close together, their breaths intertwining. As for how they separated afterward or how they pretended nothing happened to continue the match, Jiang Chenyan couldn’t recall.
But suddenly remembering it now was a bit awkward.
The tips of Jiang Chenyan’s ears began to burn. Perhaps due to the excitement, the alcohol surged, and a faint flush spread across his cheeks.
A clear thump-thump sound echoed in his chest, but it wasn’t his own.
He looked up and met Shen Shiyue’s deep, dark eyes. The man was looking down at him, his gaze sliding from his slightly furrowed brows, over the bridge of his nose, and landing on his reddened lips.
At this moment, the corners of Jiang Chenyan’s eyes held a natural curve, and his aegyo-sal was shallow. His beautiful eyes were like glazed glass filled with fragmented light, clear and soft. Further down, the high, three-dimensional bridge of his nose made his lips appear even fuller. He clearly had the youthful look of a teenager, yet he made it impossible to look away.
Shen Shiyue suddenly felt his throat tighten, dry to the point of pain. Before Jiang Chenyan could react, he had already reached out to pull him into his embrace. One hand covered the top of Jiang Chenyan’s head, slowly stroking through his hair, while the other arm circled his back.
He lowered his head, his chin resting against the crown of Jiang Chenyan’s head. His voice held a raspiness he hadn’t noticed himself. “Jiang Chenyan, what am I going to do with you?”
Jiang Chenyan’s head was still groggy. His cheek was pressed against Shen Shiyue’s warm chest, listening to the deafening heartbeat inside. For a moment, he couldn’t process the situation and only asked vaguely, “What are you talking about?”
Perhaps he had provoked the other man somewhere, as the embrace tightened. Jiang Chenyan let out a muffled groan from the pressure. His head, already swimming from the alcohol, felt even heavier. His eyelids were leaden, and he didn’t even have the strength to struggle; he just felt exhausted and wanted to find a place to sleep.
“That’s exactly what I want to ask you,” Shen Shiyue’s voice fell against his ear, a suppressed irritability hidden in the raspiness. “Are you truly stupid, or are you just playing dumb?”
Because of him, he was going crazy.
His thoughts were like a lit fuse, zipping frantically—
How could there be someone like Jiang Chenyan? From that panicked kiss in the simulation match to the softness currently nestled in his arms, he liked it all from beginning to end—liked it until his heart felt tight and he felt he might lose his mind at any second.
Shen Shiyue tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing against Jiang Chenyan’s earlobe. “If I wanted to kiss you, bite you, mark you… would you be willing?”
He held his breath, waiting for Jiang Chenyan’s response. His fingertips even trembled slightly from urgency, and he lightened his breathing.
But the person in his arms seemed to have exhausted all his strength; his eyes were tightly shut, and his breathing gradually became long and steady.
The sigh in Shen Shiyue’s throat was suppressed over and over, feeling a bit helpless. He carefully adjusted his posture, his hand lightly supporting Jiang Chenyan’s waist as he draped the man’s arm over his own shoulder, taking most of the weight into his embrace.
This place wasn’t far from the academy, but he still slowed his pace, letting the cool evening wind blow against his face.
In his arms, Jiang Chenyan was semi-conscious, occasionally shrinking back from the cool wind and occasionally nuzzling into his chest, his awareness pulling back and forth between clarity and muddledness.
Jiang Chenyan looked up at Shen Shiyue. “So tired.”
Before Shen Shiyue could speak, he heard Jiang Chenyan say, “Fine… carry me on your back. Thank you.”
His mind was currently a mess of paste. The alcohol was causing chaos in his brain; he couldn’t care about anything else and was single-mindedly intent on having the person in front of him carry him back.
The corners of Shen Shiyue’s mouth curved up. “Alright.”
He leaned down to pick Jiang Chenyan up. Feeling the weight on his back, his steps were light and steady.
Jiang Chenyan lay on his back, arms looped around his neck, gripping a bit tightly as if afraid of falling. He didn’t forget to give a guarantee: “Don’t worry, I won’t puke on you.”
“If you puke, I might leave you on the side of the road.”
“Really?” Jiang Chenyan’s arms suddenly tightened, hugging Shen Shiyue even harder. He stuck to him like a piece of sticky rice cake. “Then leave me.”
A low laugh escaped Shen Shiyue’s throat, but his steps didn’t stop. “Liar.”
“Oh.” Jiang Chenyan responded, not asking further. He simply closed his eyes and buried his cheek into the collar at the back of Shen Shiyue’s neck. His voice was muffled. “Thank you.”
For bringing a drunkard like him back.
However…
Was he really drunk?
Jiang Chenyan: “You’re welcome.”
“?”
Shen Shiyue’s steps paused. He could clearly feel the other man’s breath on his back. He just quietly slowed his pace, letting the night wind carry their scents across the entire street.
It wasn’t until he was placed gently onto the soft bed in the dorm—the mattress sinking under him—that Jiang Chenyan suddenly jolted awake. He let out a muffled groan, his brows knitting tightly. He rolled over but still felt uncomfortable all over. His very bones felt sore and swollen, and he couldn’t even be bothered to move a fingertip.
His stomach was turning in circles, and his whole body felt indescribably awful, reeking of alcohol.
With his eyes closed, he muttered to himself, “I need to shower.” As he spoke, he propped himself up on the mattress, struggling to rise.
Shen Shiyue, who was holding a water cup, stepped forward to support his arm, his brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“It smells bad.” Jiang Chenyan tried to push him away. “I’m going to shower.”
“Can you even manage in this state?” Shen Shiyue’s fingertips touched his burning skin, and he pinned his wrist.
Jiang Chenyan suddenly stopped moving. He looked up and smiled at him, the corners of his eyes flushed red with an unconscious allure. He reached out to hook Shen Shiyue’s collar, pulling down gently. His voice was soft but carried a hint of provocation: “What? You want to help me wash?”
With a hum, a string suddenly snapped.
Shen Shiyue reached out to press down on Jiang Chenyan’s fingertips, which were unbuttoning his clothes. He stared at him with dark eyes. “Are you serious? Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Also, what are you doing?”
Is he actually taking off his clothes?
Jiang Chenyan looked up at him, a shallow smile on his lips. His eyes were covered in a layer of mist, like glass fogged by steam.
He lightly shook off Shen Shiyue’s hand. “Take them off.” As he spoke, he continued to pull down his collar by himself, revealing a small patch of snowy-white collarbone.
Shen Shiyue’s gaze darkened inch by inch. The blood in his chest was nearly boiling, and his fingertips were trembling with the effort of restraint, almost breaking through his reason.
“You really are…”
Seeking death.
To just take off his clothes in front of an Alpha without any defense?
“You’re an Omega, forgot?” Shen Shiyue’s voice carried an undetectable rasp. His breathing was heavy as he tried to wake his own reason.
Jiang Chenyan suddenly leaned forward, his warm palm directly covering Shen Shiyue’s mouth. His fingertips pressed lightly. “Shh.”
How could he say such things recklessly? The walls had ears.
“It’s fine.” Jiang Chenyan waved his hand, his thoughts a beat too slow. “Now isn’t the time to talk about that… What’s the harm in helping me wash a bit?”
His head was still dizzy. Aren’t they both Omegas? Could it be that Shen Shiyue had been playing an Alpha for so long that he’d developed a stress response just like him?
His gaze inadvertently shifted downward, landing on a clearly protruding area. Jiang Chenyan was stunned for a moment, then his cheeks instantly caught fire, even the tips of his ears turning red.
He instinctively took half a step back, but still couldn’t hold back. His voice was a bit flustered: “Wait? Did you suppress yourself into having a problem?”
Staring at Shen Shiyue’s tense profile, Jiang Chenyan asked, “Are you out of inhibitors?”
He shook his heavy head and turned to rummage through the cabinet. He remembered the inhibitors were kept here.
“Don’t bother looking.” Shen Shiyue’s voice was dark enough to drip ink. Every drop of blood in his body was clamoring, every breath carrying a scorching temperature. His susceptibility period had already passed; he didn’t need those.
He stepped forward and gripped Jiang Chenyan’s wrist, his thumb unconsciously stroking the other’s delicate skin. Intense desire surged in Shen Shiyue’s eyes, and his breathing gradually grew heavy. “I don’t need inhibitors.”
His voice was very raspy. “Or are you saying, you’ll help me?”
His body suddenly lost its center of gravity. Jiang Chenyan was pressed onto the bed by Shen Shiyue. He propped himself up on his arms, trying to sit up, but was pinned down even harder.
Desire almost swallowed his entire being.
Jiang Chenyan’s Adam’s apple rolled, but he still asked the question: “Is this okay?”
Between friends, was it truly appropriate to cross this step? He needed the other person to answer, to give a conclusion to this blurry relationship.
Shen Shiyue lowered his head, his forehead resting against Jiang Chenyan’s. “I think it’s fine.”
A rich Alpha pheromone spread out, carrying a forceful possessiveness that instantly enveloped Jiang Chenyan.
He leaned into the crook of Jiang Chenyan’s neck and took a deep breath, greedily sniffing his scent, as if wanting to carve this fragrance into his very bones.
The scent of Datura flowers quietly spread. Most of Jiang Chenyan’s consciousness was instantly drained away, leaving him even more muddled than when the alcohol hit his head. His eyelids were so heavy he could barely keep them open.
Naturally, Jiang Chenyan’s own pheromones emerged at this moment—the intense heat unique to the Desert Flower, carrying a scorching temperature that tunneled through his limbs with every breath.
His whole body caught fire. His fingertips were radiating heat, and even his skin turned a deep crimson.
He wanted to raise his hand to push away the person nearing him, but he didn’t even have the strength to lift an arm. Reality and fantasy in his mind blurred into a single mess. He couldn’t distinguish anything and only felt like he had been tossed into a desert to be scorched, then wrapped in layers of heatwaves.
The moment his lips were covered by warmth, his body reacted before his mind. He narrowed his eyes, feeling Shen Shiyue’s urgent kiss. A fine, fragmented sigh escaped his throat. Then, he raised his hands to circle Shen Shiyue’s neck, actively deepening the kiss.
“Mmph…”
His consciousness was being constantly pulled, but Shen Shiyue’s temperature, the heat of the pheromones, and the sensation between their lips were all incredibly real and clear, echoing through every inch of his body.
Jiang Chenyan was going crazy. “I think I’m sick.”
Shen Shiyue held him tightly in his arms, his palm stroking over his sweat-drenched back. “You’re sweating so much. Your body is too hot.”
“Help me take it off.” Jiang Chenyan looked up, the corners of his eyes flushed red. His fingertips unconsciously hooked his own collar, urging the other to help him shed his sweat-soaked clothes.
The clothes slid down his shoulder line, leaving only a thin shirt hanging loosely on his body, revealing a large expanse of snowy-white skin.
Fingertips unconsciously stroked over that patch of skin. The warm touch made him unable to stop shivering.
Unable to suppress the throb in his heart any longer, Shen Shiyue lowered his head and kissed him, his lips gently grazing the skin of Jiang Chenyan’s neck.
Jiang Chenyan parted his lips, feeling a bit dazed. How had things suddenly developed like this?
The hickey lingering on his neck still carried a scorching temperature. His body trembled uncontrollably. The heat in his body refused to dissipate. The blazing pheromones intertwined with the hallucinogenic scent of the Datura, like a dense net that completely trapped his thoughts, making it impossible to sort them out in the slightest.
An unfamiliar stimulation like an electric current surged through his limbs, striking Jiang Chenyan’s brain again and again. Even his breathing lost its rhythm.
He gripped the hem of Shen Shiyue’s clothes, his breathing uneven. “I think I’m about to break.”
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