Can’t Bear to Let Go Chapter 5

Whereabouts

Wasting no time, Wen Xubai headed straight for the address.

To avoid drawing unnecessary attention, he chose to park the car in a lot some distance away from his destination and covered the remaining distance on foot.

The place was called Huaihua Alley.

It was daytime, and the alley was bustling with activity. There were old men cooling off in the shade, children chasing each other, and groups of elderly men and women standing at their doorsteps, cracking melon seeds and chatting away…

Without a detailed navigation map, Wen Xubai had to ask for directions. Relying on the locals’ heavy accents, he pieced together the route in a daze until he finally found his way.

It wasn’t until he stood before the rusted iron gate of the target building that Wen Xubai finally let out a breath.

The building was dilapidated, far more run-down than the other houses in the alley. A foul odor—a mix of something rotting and the stench of raw sewage—assaulted his senses, forcing him to cover his nose.

With every step up the stairs, his shoes made a wet squelching sound… It was the sound of stagnant water that, trapped in this enclosed, damp environment, could never evaporate.

The lights in the stairwell had been broken for years, hanging there merely for show. Even though it was broad daylight outside, the windowless corridor was as dark as night.

“Building 8, 602…”

Matching the numbers on the doorplate with the flamboyant scrawl on the sticky note, Wen Xubai confirmed that this was the place.

Knock, knock, knock. Wen Xubai rapped lightly on the iron door.

When no one answered, he raised his hand and knocked again, harder this time.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

“Who is it?”

This time, an impatient voice finally responded from inside.

Accompanied by the sound of something being thrown to the floor, a man cursed irritably as he yanked the door open.

“Who is it?! Are you sick? disturbing my sweet dreams early in the morning?!”

“Are you Li Haiqing?”

“Yeah, who are you?”

As the words left his mouth, the man finally got a clear look at the person outside. The stranger was slender, his skin pale against the black mask covering his face, and a pair of glimmering eyes were staring at him with a gloomy intensity.

“Holy shit.”

His scalp tingling with instant dread, Li Haiqing instinctively tried to slam the door shut. But a shoe swiftly wedged itself into the gap, forcefully blocking him.

Li Haiqing was stunned by the aggressive move, and his grip on the door loosened for a split second. In that moment, the man pushed the door open, stepped inside, and slammed it shut behind him!

Bang!

At the heavy sound of the door closing, Li Haiqing scrambled into the kitchen. He grabbed a kitchen knife and pointed it shakily at Wen Xubai, his voice stammering in terror. “Y-y-you! Who are you? What do you want?! I-I-I’m telling you… I don’t have any money!”

The man opposite him seemed completely unbothered. He slowly, methodically, removed his mask.

His light brown eyes glanced indifferently at Li Haiqing as he asked coldly, “Do you recognize me?”

“Huh?” Li Haiqing was bewildered.

“I… I… Why the hell would I know you?!” Sweat began to drip from Li Haiqing’s forehead.

“Are you sure?”

The man stepped forward with long legs, his hands in his pockets, closing the distance step by step. His tone was languid yet interrogating, forcing Li Haiqing to retreat.

“Fuck!” Li Haiqing was truly terrified now, his speech becoming incoherent. He thrust the knife forward repeatedly, trying desperately to embolden himself. “I said I don’t know you, so I don’t know you! Who the hell are you anyway??? I’m warning you, I’m not someone to mess with! If… if you dare take another step, I’ll do it! I really will!”

His agitation was visible; he wasn’t faking it.

Wen Xubai lowered his eyes and stopped.

Seeing him stop, Li Haiqing thought the intruder was finally scared. He opened his mouth to demand the man leave his house, but before he could speak, he was cut off by Wen Xubai’s sudden movement.

“Then you should… recognize them.”

It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

Wen Xubai slammed a newspaper onto the dining table beside them.

Li Haiqing didn’t understand. The hand holding the knife trembled violently, and he didn’t dare move forward.

Only when Wen Xubai voluntarily took two steps back did Li Haiqing finally muster the courage to crane his neck and look at the newspaper. He didn’t dare lower the knife, keeping it pointed at Wen Xubai as he shook like a leaf.

But one look was all it took for the blood in his veins to freeze.

prominently displayed on the newspaper was a photo of a three-car collision. The large truck sandwiched between two sedans was impossibly conspicuous.

Li Haiqing abruptly looked up at Wen Xubai. His pupils constricted violently, and the kitchen knife fell to the floor with a loud clang. He pointed a trembling finger at him, disbelief written all over his face. “You… you… you are…”

Seeing that the man couldn’t form a complete sentence, Wen Xubai finished it for him:

“I am a family member of the victims.”

Thud!

Li Haiqing’s bulky frame collapsed to the floor, his face twisted in horror.

Wen Xubai watched him coldly. He stepped forward, retrieved the newspaper from the table, and slowly crouched down in front of the man.

“You… you’re here for revenge?” Li Haiqing swallowed hard. Looking at the face so close to his own, seeing those familiar brows and eyes, he finally realized who this was…

“Mom… Dad… Wu wu wu… don’t leave me… I’m scared…”

The image of a little boy covered in blood and grime, kneeling before his parents’ closed eyes, screaming hoarsely, suddenly flashed before his eyes…

He had hesitated back then… He really had…

The accident scene had smelled of blood and leaking gasoline; the risk of an explosion was imminent. He had hesitated, wondering if he should call the police and save the child…

But when he had instinctively stepped back and accidentally trampled on the arm of the woman’s corpse behind him, terror had seized him. It scared every other thought out of his mind! He… he was just too afraid!

“I… I have an elderly mother at home, and… and a child. I-I-I really couldn’t go to prison…” Li Haiqing murmured hollowly, his eyes unfocused.

His voice overlapped perfectly with the man from eighteen years ago.

“And what about them?” Wen Xubai pressed closer, his voice clear and cold. “They also had families. They had parents, they had children, and they had the right to live. You clearly had the chance… so why didn’t you save them?” Wen Xubai questioned ruthlessly.

His fists clenched tighter and tighter with rage. Wen Xubai forcibly suppressed the anger surging in his chest, fighting the urge to punch the man in the face.

“But… but I’ve already paid the price! I… I sat in prison for eighteen years… My mother disowned me, my wife divorced me, and my child… my child is gone too… I have nothing left!”

Li Haiqing suddenly became agitated. He grabbed Wen Xubai’s shoulders, his grip so tight it caused physical pain.

“I have nothing left now! I live like a rat in the gutter, scraping by every day in this hellhole, just struggling to breathe! Why… why won’t you let me go?! Why won’t you let me go?!”

Li Haiqing was bordering on madness, his stubbled face wet with spit and tears, his eyes bloodshot.

After screaming, he seemed to lose all his strength. His hands slid slowly from Wen Xubai’s shoulders down to his arms as he murmured in despair, “Do I… do I really have to die… before you’ll let me go…?”

Wen Xubai looked at him coldly. He suddenly stood up, shaking off the man’s hands. Looking at Li Haiqing’s wretched, helpless state, he couldn’t summon a shred of sympathy.

“You clearly had the opportunity… to stop all of this from happening.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Li Haiqing finally broke down. He curled his massive body into a ball, clutching his head and sobbing uncontrollably.

Back then, he was just a young man in his early twenties… yet because of a sudden accident, he had buried his entire life…

“Just kill me… just kill me…”

Wen Xubai took a deep breath, forcing down the tumultuous emotions in his heart and the phantom ache in his chest, and turned his back on him.

For a moment, the room was deathly silent.

It was a tiny rental unit, so small that it seemed to barely contain the two of them.

After a long time, Wen Xubai broke the silence.

He said, “Li Haiqing, you still have a chance to atone for your sins.”

Hearing this, Li Haiqing froze. He jerked his head up and scrambled forward, grabbing the hem of Wen Xubai’s coat. His voice trembled. “What… what is it? Tell me, what is it?! As long as… as long as you say it… no matter what it is… I’ll do it!”

Anything to redeem himself!

A ray of sunlight pierced through the small window, cutting through the dark room to land on Wen Xubai’s pale face.

He looked at the clear blue sky outside, where wild geese flew high and birds darted by. It was a beautiful, sunny day…

“How much do you remember of the situation that day?” Wen Xubai asked.

“I remember… a lot of details are blurry… it’s been too long…” Li Haiqing said dazed. “But… but the general situation! I still remember that!”

“Good. Then I ask you: The other child who was there—where did he go?”

“The other… child…?” Li Haiqing’s expression suddenly went blank. He didn’t speak for a long time.

“Did he fall into the lake, or… was he taken away by someone?” Wen Xubai frowned, offering a prompt.

“Child…” Li Haiqing seemed to be thinking hard, but finally, he shook his head vigorously, hesitating as he spoke: “No… there wasn’t…”

“That day… there was clearly only one child!”

Wen Xubai’s pupils constricted violently.

 

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