Chapter 16: Confession
Chi Jing’s eyes were scarlet, as if they could drip blood. The sobbing in his throat was violent, his speech broken and unable to form sentences.
“You… d-don’t lie to me.”
Qi Feng gently gathered him into his arms, murmuring softly, “I won’t lie to you. Our Chi Jing is the best. I won’t lie to you.”
Chi Jing lowered his head, his body trembling slightly. His hands gripped the hem of his clothes tightly, trying his best to suppress the tears swirling in his eyes.
“But I only recognized you tonight. And you left without saying goodbye. I am very angry.”
Qi Feng’s throat felt like it was blocked by something; every breath was exceptionally difficult.
“Then let me coax you. Can you not be angry?”
Hearing this sentence, Chi Jing finally couldn’t hold back and cried out loud. His hands formed fists and pummeled Qi Feng, as if wanting to vent the unwillingness and longing of these years.
“You liar! You liar!”
Qi Feng appeared when he was happiest, yet left when he was most helpless. That day, he went home as usual, but he didn’t wait for his Little Feng Gege. From that day on, he never waited for him again. He had knocked on his door with no response; he had squatted bitterly at his doorstep. He wanted to ask Qi Feng if he hadn’t been good, so Qi Feng wanted to leave him. Later, his grandfather’s health failed, and Chi Jing dropped out of school, doing whatever work he could find.
He lived unspeakably bitterly during that time, having to earn money for his grandfather’s medical bills while taking care of himself. Later, he started streaming games and finally saved enough money, but his grandfather left. It was as if he lost the goal of life. Every day, he curled up in his room hugging his grandfather’s clothes and crying. He wanted someone to hug him every single moment.
Later, his main job became streaming, and because of his talent, his career took off quickly. He didn’t go back to school. At 17, he was recruited by CK as a youth trainee. From time to time, he would remember the back of the figure waiting for him to get out of school downstairs in the dilapidated residential building back then. He would also remember that person’s hug from time to time. But later, he gradually forgot Qi Feng’s voice, forgot his face; he didn’t even remember Qi Feng’s full name.
He struggled alone for many years and came to Shanghai. He had no friends here, no family. The bustle and noise of Shanghai had nothing to do with him; he seemed unable to ever integrate into this city. Suddenly, the person he thought of at his lowest point appeared in front of him, reaching out a hand to ask him to go with him. Chi Jing thought, he really walked out.
Qi Feng patted him gently. Waiting for Chi Jing to calm down, he held Chi Jing and kissed his hair lightly.
“So, can you give me a chance? Give me a chance to pursue you.”
Chi Jing turned his head away not to look at him. Qi Feng chuckled lightly.
“It’s very late, almost dawn. You drank too much. When you wake up, if you still remember, hug me, okay?”
Chi Jing was already confused with sleepiness. He agreed messily, lay on the bed, and fell asleep. Qi Feng took off his clothes. The air conditioning temperature was just right. He used a towel to wipe Chi Jing’s face, secretly kissed his cheek, then turned off the light. Upon leaving, he closed the door gently.
The night passed, but Qi Feng tossed and turned, unable to sleep. He simply sat on the balcony, smoking cigarette after cigarette. He had no way to imagine what Chi Jing suffered during the years he was gone, nor could he imagine how helpless he must have been back then.
Did he spend these years alone?
No friends in Shanghai, has he been alone all along?
Where did he go for New Year’s?
How did he take care of himself at sixteen or seventeen? Could he get enough to eat?
Qi Feng realized he couldn’t think any further. In the early morning Shanghai, there was still someone sitting in the wind until dawn.
Until 7 AM, when Mo Jingchun came downstairs looking for painkillers.
Mo Jingchun: “…? You’re here. Sat all night?”
Qi Feng: “…Mn.”
Mo Jingchun was wide awake now. Winter in Shanghai was always very cold. This mental patient sat on the balcony all night, and the balcony window wasn’t even closed. He felt he might not have woken up yet.
Mo Jingchun: “Did you quarrel with Little Chi?”
“No,” Qi Feng said. “Confessed. He recognized me. My heart is in chaos.”
Mo Jingchun was even more shocked. “You mean, you confessed while he was drunk and confused?”
Qi Feng rolled his eyes and ignored him.
The urge to speak but stopping weighed heavier. Mo Jingchun licked his lips and couldn’t help giving him a thumbs up.
“I truly admire you.”
Qi Feng looked at him quietly for two seconds. “Headache?”
Mo Jingchun: “Mn, drank too much last night. The wind made my head hurt. I brewed some Ganmaoling (cold medicine) for you. Drink some in a bit. I’m going back up to sleep a while.”
At 7 AM in winter Shanghai, the sky was dimly lit, the cold wind whistled, and the temperature was frighteningly low.
Qi Feng sat for a while. His face was a bit pale, and his head was dizzy. He knew clearly he had a fever. Supporting his dizzy head, he found fever reducers and took them with the cold medicine. Perhaps due to the effect of the cold medicine, he fell asleep on the living room sofa not long after, his brows locked tight.
Past 9 AM, Chi Jing washed up and came downstairs. Seeing Qi Feng sleeping on the sofa, he was a bit puzzled.
Chi Jing: “Qi Feng?”
He nudged him; no movement. Seeing his complexion wasn’t very good, forehead sweating and brows locked, Chi Jing subconsciously reached out to touch Qi Feng’s forehead. Scorching hot.
Chi Jing helped Qi Feng down so he leaned half against him, then used strength in his arms to help him stand up. Passing his other hand under his knees, he picked him up. He hefted him, feeling it was a bit strenuous, but he couldn’t care about that much. He struggled to carry him to the bed in his room, then took off his clothes, swallowing his saliva looking at his pectoral muscles.
He ran to the bathroom, wrung out a towel with warm water to wipe Qi Feng’s body, used alcohol pads to wipe him for physical cooling, then went to the cabinet in the living room and found a thermometer gun. One measurement: 39.2°C. This was almost burning him silly.
He hurriedly fished his phone out of last night’s pile of clothes and called Wu Cheng.
Wu Cheng: “What’s wrong, Little Chi?”
Chi Jing: “Brother Cheng, come quick. Qi Feng has a fever, 39.2°. Take him to the hospital for an IV drip. I don’t have a driver’s license and can’t drive. It’s hard to get a taxi here.”
Wu Cheng: “Little Feng has a fever?? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Can you carry him to the downstairs sofa? When I arrive, I’ll call you and you carry him out.”
Chi Jing: “I can. I’ll change his clothes first. Hurry up.”
After hanging up, Chi Jing dug out a fluffy coral fleece pajama set from his walk-in closet and got a clean sweater for Qi Feng. After changing him, he carried him downstairs and waited for Wu Cheng’s call.
Chi Jing, having busied himself with all this, was very depressed. He never blacked out from drinking, so what was this? Forced to carry him? But he couldn’t care about that much. Everyone drank a lot last night and probably hadn’t woken up. The only one who could save Qi Feng’s dog life now was him.
He didn’t even care about his hair exploded like chicken feathers. As soon as Wu Cheng’s call came, he carried Qi Feng horizontally in a princess carry and rushed out, putting Qi Feng in the back seat and pulling a blanket from his embrace to cover him.
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