Part 2
“It’s hard to say. My mom said she wants me to major in literature at university. She teaches Chinese language there, and she’ll take me to do research and write papers. She knows many professors in that major, so I can only study under her nose.”
Fan Hongyi looked helpless. Bai Sinian understood completely. Fan Hongyi was free now only because his parents weren’t high school teachers; otherwise, it would have been impossible for him to hang out with the band members all day. Once he was in university, his parents would definitely put effort into grooming him, and he was naturally a relatively obedient child.
“Which school are you going to?” Cui Yeyi asked.
While waiting for the answer, Bai Sinian noticed that Shen Bei was choking from eating too fast. He silently poured a glass of water, handed it to Shen Bei, and gently patted his back.
Shen Bei, cheeks puffed out, gave him a silly grin.
“It’s that Literature Institute, the school where the famous economic analyst Professor Cheng Qing is,” Fan Hongyi said.
“I know it! That school isn’t far from the Zhoucheng Music Conservatory!” Cui Yeyi popped the tab of a soda can.
“Cough, cough, cough…” Shen Bei finally choked and started coughing incessantly.
Bai Sinian sighed lightly, hurriedly handing him water and tissues while patting his back.
Once he had recovered a bit, Cui Yeyi suddenly asked, “Shen Bei, which school do you plan to test into?”
Shen Bei gulped down the water, caught his breath, and said, “My brother plans to let me take the art route, to study fine arts at the Normal University.”
“What?!” Everyone was shocked. “You know how to draw?!”
“A… a little bit.” Being the focus of everyone’s attention made Shen Bei’s cheeks flush red; he was a little embarrassed.
“What about you? Sinian?” Cui Yeyi asked Bai Sinian. His gaze softened; having not seen him for a long time, he finally found a chance to speak to Bai Sinian.
Bai Sinian was extremely conflicted. Should he choose the same major as in his previous life? Living life a second time, wouldn’t it be more interesting to experience a different major and a different life?
“I… haven’t decided yet.”
“And you?”
Cui Yeyi shook his head: “I haven’t decided either. But since everyone has different aspirations, we might as well disband! Cheers!”
This sentence was like a heavy bomb, setting off stormy waves in everyone’s hearts. Bai Sinian’s smile became even more bitter. He sighed and said, “Do you mean that?”
“What else?” Cui Yeyi looked slightly confused. “Wasn’t it just for fun anyway? It’s not a pity to disband; we’ll still be good brothers in the future.”
Fan Hongyi slowly raised a can of Coke. Shen Bei was baffled, but he raised the cup in his hand along with the two of them.
Bai Sinian made no move for a long time.
Suddenly, Bian Rui took the Coke in his hand, clinked it against the cups of the other three one by one, then threw his head back to chug the soda. He slammed the empty bottle onto the table and stood up.
“Let’s disband then!”
He turned and walked away.
“Bian Rui!”
Bai Sinian shouted, but Bian Rui walked away without looking back.
No one knew what Bian Rui was thinking. He hadn’t eaten a bite of food or said a word, leaving only “Let’s disband then” before departing, making his thoughts hard to fathom.
“You guys eat first!” Bai Sinian got up to chase after Bian Rui.
“Hey! Bai Sinian! Why aren’t you eating either!”
Looking at the table full of food, Cui Yeyi and Fan Hongyi lost their appetites too. They planned to just part ways there, but glanced at Shen Bei, who was looking longingly at the barbecue on the table.
“You eat, we’ll wait for you.”
“Really?!” Shen Bei’s eyes lit up immediately, and he began to eat voraciously.
Fan Hongyi sat opposite him, looking at how happily Shen Bei ate, and couldn’t help but feel envious: “It must be nice. People without thoughts are just happy.”
Shen Bei turned a deaf ear, silently savoring the taste of the food.
Cui Yeyi sighed along with him: “Yeah, I’m envious. But, about Bian Rui… is he angry? What is he angry about?”
Fan Hongyi shook his head.
For the two of them, a small-time group like a band was just for play. If they played well and gained fame and glory, that was best; if not, disbanding was fine—no big deal. They had never thought they absolutely had to become big stars in the future. Cui Yeyi’s family did business and had plenty of money; the family could arrange any job for him later, and he’d at least be a general manager! Not to mention Fan Hongyi; with parents as professors, he would take the academic route, safe and secure.
It was just a band.
Was it necessary to be that angry?
Even in the worst case, if Bian Rui really liked being in a band, he could find other people in the future.
“No!” Bai Sinian, who had caught up with Bian Rui, blocked his path. “You can’t find other people!”
Bian Rui’s gaze was deep, his voice even lower: “They all want to disband! What’s the problem with me forming a new band later?”
“No means no!” Bai Sinian shouted.
Bian Rui stared into his eyes, waiting for a reason that could convince him. But Bai Sinian couldn’t say it for a long time. He couldn’t say it, and he was so anxious that his eyes turned red.
Bian Rui swatted his hand away, stepped around him, and continued walking.
“There are barely any people in the whole school who can play instruments, which is why I had to find them. Now that we’re disbanding, I’m practically raising both hands in approval!” Bian Rui didn’t look back, speaking as he walked, seemingly venting his anger.
Hearing this, Bai Sinian felt terribly uncomfortable.
Although he understood that morale is unstable in the early stages of a band, hearing members speak with such distrust for one another still made him sad.
The night deepened. Streetlights shone down through the leaves, casting mottled, swaying shadows.
Bai Sinian’s eyes reddened, tears shimmering in his sockets.
Hearing no sound behind him, Bian Rui turned around and froze. Bai Sinian looked like he was about to cry.
This made him somewhat flustered; it was the first time he had seen Bai Sinian like this.
“I… I wasn’t yelling at you,” Bian Rui stammered slightly. “I was just… a little agitated.”
Bai Sinian knew that, of course. He understood, but he couldn’t accept that the idol band he had loved for years was going to disband now.
Were those days that brought him light all fake?
Did they know that in the future, they would create countless inspiring songs and become the motivation for countless fans to persevere in the darkness?
Why did such a good band have to disband!
“I just… just don’t want you guys to disband…” Bai Sinian’s voice choked up a little.
“In the future, you won’t just be dazzling stars on the stage, but the light in the hearts of fans. Whenever I encounter difficulties and want to retreat, I think of you, of your persistence and hard work, and that gives me the motivation to keep moving forward! This world cannot be without you!”
Bai Sinian shouted out the feelings in his heart with all his might—feelings he had held back for many years.
He thought he would only type these words from behind a screen on the internet. He didn’t expect that today, he would have the courage to shout them out just like this.
Bian Rui was stunned after listening. He stared at Bai Sinian with burning eyes.
Bian Rui had never imagined that their half-assed band could actually be the light in Bai Sinian’s heart. This shocked him immensely.
Bai Sinian didn’t look like he was lying at all, nor did he look like he was mocking him. Did he really… like “Dazzling Star” this much?
“Sorry, I got a little emotional.” Bai Sinian lowered his eyes.
Bian Rui snapped back to reality and shook his head: “No, I… I understand. I will think it over carefully…”
Bai Sinian brushed past him, looking extremely dejected: “Is thinking about it useful? They have already decided to disband. No one cares.”
No one cares? Bian Rui thought. He cared very much. He actually didn’t want to disband either, but thinking of the attitude of the other three during the meal just now—as if this band wasn’t important at all—he was angry. He felt he could only find balance in his heart by acting like he cared even less than they did.
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