Chapter 145: We Did That Sort of Thing With Him
The decision to save the Regent flashed before him instantly—he was going to run away from the palace again.
This time was different from before; the Emperor of Great Wei and the Regent would both be outside the borders at the same time.
Even if he didn’t understand the logic of political intrigue novels, he had been the Emperor for over half a year.
He knew the consequences. Once exposed, it could be seen as abandoning imperial power, bringing great risk to the court and potential chaos to the world.
That was why Su Jingzhi had unhesitatingly rejected his request to lead the expedition personally.
Wei Wanlan lay prone on the desk, burying his head in the crook of his arm.
…He understood the logic.
Wei Wanlan closed the Wise Ruler System, his mind in turmoil. His head buzzed like a kettle of boiling water, agitated.
But the Wise Ruler System wouldn’t let him go.
Just as he was annoyed by the noise in his head, clutching the back of his head with both little paws and pressing his forehead against the desk in conflict, the System emitted the sharpest alert tone he had ever heard.
【WARNING!!!】
【Violation detected by Host!!! Please stop immediately!!! Otherwise, the mission will be judged as a failure directly!!!】
The sound in his ears was like fingernails scratching on glass.
Wei Wanlan felt his teeth ache and lifted his small face from the table in pain: How did We violate the rules?
Wei Wanlan summoned the System unconvinced.
The dialog box clearly displayed:
【Host’s participation in Mission Three is too low. Please increase your sense of participation in time.】
“…”
Before Su Jingzhi set out, they had discussed strategies against the Turkic Khan together. He considered that as pushing the mission forward.
But now, Wei Wanlan thought, with Su Jingzhi away on expedition, the logistical support he could provide was actually quite limited.
So even if Su Jingzhi defeated the Turks, he wouldn’t get any participation points?
This System was too perverted!
If someone actually completed all the missions according to its training method, the person forged through fire and trials would definitely be a boss-level character in a political intrigue novel…
Currently, if the Emperor stayed in Chang’an, it was death (for the Regent/Mission). If the Emperor left Chang’an, it might lead to chaos in the world.
Wei Wanlan felt deeply conflicted.
But he had angered 404 into running away. He couldn’t communicate with the System about the parts he found problematic; the System only left an item interface.
Wei Wanlan sighed deeply.
He definitely had to go. The key was how to go while keeping himself and the world safe.
Wei Wanlan hurriedly ran through options in his mind, finally settling on that slender and slightly melancholy figure in the Supply and Transport Bureau—Prince of Cheng’en, Wei Wanqing, one of the original host’s few surviving relatives.
Wei Wanqing had transferred to the Bureau to show loyalty.
So, if he borrowed his identity again and went to the front lines as the supply officer escorting the autumn/winter uniforms and charcoal using the Prince’s name, would that work?
Thinking of this, Wei Wanlan’s eyes lit up!
His doe eyes blinked a few times, and he clapped his hands lightly, thinking it was feasible.
Moreover, with his current power, issuing a decree to prepare military supplies for the next two seasons in advance would face absolutely no resistance. Just do it.
Wei Wanlan immediately secretly summoned Wei Wanqing.
When Wei Wanqing received the summons, he went limp with fear, thinking this Emperor cousin had finally remembered there was still one relative left to kill. He was practically carried by the Imperial Guards and delivered to the Emperor in Zichen Palace.
Wei Wanqing trembled as he pleaded:
“Y-Your… Your Majesty, this petty prince is guilty. Please grant me a swift death.”
It seemed his reputation among the Wei imperial clan wasn’t great.
The Prince of Cheng’en spoke slowly and muffledly. When silent, he always looked at the corner of the wall, like a depressed mushroom. He was also small, resembling Wei Wanlan in stature. It seemed the Wei family bloodline was worrying; they were all of this variety.
Wei Wanlan gloomily thought of the Regent’s physique, then looked at the Prince of Cheng’en. The contrast was intense.
He comforted Wei Wanqing:
“Rest assured, We won’t harm you. We have a matter to entrust to you.”
Wei Wanqing froze in his tearful expression, looking at the Emperor, then panic-stricken, averted his gaze to stare blankly at the floor.
For the first time, Wei Wanlan felt he was being made to look like a villain.
“We found a residence for you in Chang’an,” Wei Wanlan said, his tone unknowingly becoming gentle. “We hope you can move in and stay there for a while. You absolutely cannot come out.”
He had his reasons.
He wanted to impersonate Wei Wanqing, but he couldn’t let the Prince of Cheng’en impersonate him. The current Wei Wanqing was more suitable to be kept as a little puppet under control.
He could only hide Wei Wanqing away.
Surprisingly, no persuasion was needed. Wei Wanqing agreed immediately and even thanked him:
“This petty prince has actually preferred staying indoors for many years. If it can dispel Your Majesty’s suspicions, I am willing to be under house arrest. Thank you, Your Majesty, for fulfilling my wish…”
—Did he just provide a shut-in with an opportunity to be isolated from the world?
The large residence he found for the Prince was warm in winter and cool in summer, quiet and safe. Fearing he might be bored, he even had someone buy out an entire bookstore’s worth of storybooks to send inside.
The Prince of Cheng’en’s secluded life would surely be comfortable.
Thinking about it this way, We, the Emperor, are the pitiful one QAQ.
With Wei Wanqing settled and the decree issued for the Bureau to prepare winter supplies within five days, the fake Wei Wanqing appointed as the transport officer had his exit route solved.
At this point, Wei Wanlan could only relax half a breath.
He only considered how to leave the palace, but what about after leaving?
Who would be in charge?
Who would handle court affairs?
Although he had heard in history class about an Emperor who didn’t attend court for decades yet the government still functioned, he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t assured enough to leave the world that had been entrusted to him.
Wei Wanlan lay back on the desk in distress.
His head burrowed into his arms. If he had a tail, it would definitely be drooping now, fluffy and dragging on the floor.
An Ruyi knocked gently outside the study:
“Your Majesty.”
“Mn.” A muffled hum from his arms.
“It is past Hai hour (9-11 PM). Please retire.” An Ruyi said.
He had once made an agreement with the Regent to sleep at Hai and rise at Mao. Because he was plotting to do something very “naughty,” Wei Wanlan sought psychological comfort. He could listen to the Regent in other matters; overall he was good, about eighty percent good.
The little Emperor, who was mostly good, opened the study door and was served by an assembly line of maids to wash up.
Taking off the dragon robe, he changed into pajamas.
Wei Wanlan worried that the court situation would fall into dire straits after he left. Heavy-hearted, he lay inside the bed curtains of Zichen Palace. A light flashed before his eyes—a reflection from the mirror. He faced the shiny Nine Dragon Mirror.
Suddenly, his heart lit up!
Right, one dreams at night what one thinks of during the day.
The System gift, the Nine Dragon Mirror, it can create dreams…
For this sleep, Wei Wanlan deliberately kept a thread of consciousness, refusing to sleep soundly.
Thus, he could clearly perceive that as he fell into the dream, his body changed from the solid feeling of the bed to becoming lighter and lighter, as if stepping on clouds.
Now Wei Wanlan had cracked the prompt of the Nine Dragon Mirror.
He didn’t see the battlefield in his dream, nor did he hold two puppies.
Before his eyes was still the vast palace of Zichen Palace, as if the dream and reality were no different.
But Wei Wanlan knew the dream created by this mirror was unusual. It was a System gift; perhaps this was his chance to communicate with the System.
He called out to the air in the dream’s Zichen Palace:
“404? 404?”
“Are you there…”
He didn’t get a response from the System assistant. His voice echoed in the empty halls.
Wei Wanlan felt a little down.
Could he have guessed wrong?
Dreams were just dreams and not connected to the System? Was 404 the only bridge between the host and the main System?
With regret in his head but unwilling to give up, he recalled the System’s temperament from his interactions with 404. Wei Wanlan tried to put on a very serious expression, his tone solemn:
“Wise Ruler System, this user has discovered a fatal loophole in you!”
There was no response from the System’s end. Zichen Palace was still Wei Wanlan’s solo stage, but he vaguely felt a tug at his mind—a subtle connection between System and Host.
It was playing dumb…
So Wei Wanlan pressed on, feeling the System must be losing its patience. He stated on his own:
“If you don’t handle this loophole I found, you are a Tyrant Ruler System, incapable of guiding a good Emperor at all!”
As he spoke, the sensation of his mind being tugged became more obvious.
Then he felt waves of palpitations; the System seemed unable to hold back.
He didn’t mind making the System jump with anger. He deliberately spread his hands and said, “Just choke me to death. If I finish the missions according to your broken system, I’ll leave a foul name for ten thousand years. Better to ascend to heaven now; at least I can preserve my lifetime of clean reputation…”
As a result, what greeted him from the System’s end was an impatient electronic voice.
It wasn’t 404:
【You’ve already done that sort of thing with Su Jingzhi, and you think you have a clean reputation left?】
What did it mean “that sort of thing”?
Wei Wanlan pursed his lips. He decided not to argue with this customer service agent. Since he smoked it out, he needed to elaborate quickly:
“The Emperor you want to cultivate must be capable in domestic affairs, diplomacy, and military matters. But if the Emperor is to go to war and participate in Mission Three, he must leave the court. How can the Emperor leave the court?”
“This mission itself contradicts the qualities of a wise ruler!” Wei Wanlan accused.
The Wise Ruler System answered:
【The intention is for the Emperor to fight personally and become familiar with military affairs.】
【Your military talent is mediocre, so you sent someone else to fight. Participation was insufficient, so it was judged as a violation.】
“That is precisely because We are responsible for the realm!”
Wei Wanlan occupied the moral high ground and refused to come down. The history knowledge he had learned exploded at this moment. He rattled off:
“A son of a thousand gold does not sit under dangerous eaves. Even villains understand this principle. Liu Bang and Liu Bei could face the fact that they weren’t omnipotent, proposing that using people properly is also the way of an Emperor. Must all wise rulers be the same? Are they not wise rulers?”
Who dared question whether the Supreme Ancestor of Han or the First Ruler of Shu were wise rulers?
The Wise Ruler System didn’t dare either.
Wei Wanlan legitimately used case studies to mask the fact that he had no military ability.
He even patted his chest, acting even more serious, giving a protagonist’s concluding speech:
“We, too, have Our own Emperor’s Way.”
【…】
There was a moment of silence from the Wise Ruler System.
After all, it had never seen an Emperor like Wei Wanlan. He clearly had a lot of “water content” (fluff/incompetence), yet he sat on the dragon throne more and more steadily. The System actually couldn’t pick out any faults.
【What do you want to do? State your request.】
Wei Wanlan: “Cancel Mission Three.”
【A wise ruler cannot be completely ignorant of military affairs.】
Okay, it conceded.
He knew it would succumb to logic; it was a logic monster.
Wei Wanlan’s eyes lit up, but he carefully hid it. He narrowed his conditions:
“We can go to experience military training, but We clearly could have sent Our boyfriend to sweep the Turks. Our lives are bound together; We have no need to worry about his loyalty. You are forcing Us to go—you must ensure Great Wei does not fall into internal chaos.”
【…】
A master at shifting the blame.
The System was instantly even more speechless.
It felt Wei Wanlan’s words made some sense, yet not really, but it couldn’t win the argument.
System Customer Service: 【Host must know, this is not a game. You are not strings of data, but real people in another dimension.】
At this, Wei Wanlan repeated firmly, possessing the pressure of a wise ruler who kept his word:
“We know you must have a way to keep Our land safe.”
He knew the System ate this up.
Hehe, it was also a glutton for punishment; it just liked that kind of tough, fierce Emperor.
Wei Wanlan became super fierce again, appearing righteous and awe-inspiring, shedding his milk-cat aura and going full power:
“Give. Us. An. Item—”
That System Customer Service voice, which had been impatient, indeed let out sounds of heavy breathing, hiss-ha hiss-ha, after feeling the tyrannical aura it loved most.
This agent was much less reserved than 404:
【Yes, Your Majesty!】
【I will report the existence of this bug to the higher-ups. Here, I will first provide you with a life-size silicone puppet. Wish you a pleasant undercover expedition!】
The System’s voice faded, and the dream gradually dissipated.
When Wei Wanlan opened his eyes again, a puppet that looked exactly like him was sitting quietly by his bed with its eyes closed.
It wasn’t scary; it had warmth and was very well-behaved.
Wei Wanlan touched it, and the puppet actually prompted him with an electronic voice:
“Hello User. Please input common phrases. I will mimic your voice for simple conversation.”
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