Chapter 167: Discovering Wanwan is Pregnant
It was the end of autumn and the beginning of winter in Chang’an. Maple leaves were deep red, and thin snow had just fallen.
In every street and alley of Chang’an City, at every storyteller’s stall, in every teahouse, and in every gathering place of any size… people were passing by word of mouth, repeatedly broadcasting and dramatizing stories from the Turkic front lines.
For instance, “The Regent King Chasing Enemy Soldiers in the Snow at Iron Mountain,” or “The Red Coat Cannons Repelling the Four-Nation Alliance with Force.” Even General Tang Tuan had a legend of “Sacrificing Oneself to Save the Master and Entering the Enemy Formation” spreading through the capital.
Chang’an’s cultural industry ushered in a height of vigorous prosperity after the war.
Of course, besides these traditional versions, folk arts were constantly innovating with rich imagination, eclectic styles, and a hundred flowers blooming.
Among them, the war story widely recognized by the common people as the most legendary was “The Chronicle of the Great Wei Emperor’s Expedition.”
The Little Emperor Wei Wanlan, originally in Chang’an, foresaw the crisis on the front lines in a dream. Thus, his soul left his body, and riding a seven-foot-three-and-a-half-inch Sword of the Son of Heaven, he rushed to support Great Wei.
The Little Emperor single-handedly challenged the former Turkic Khan’s iron-blooded scimitar. Where the sword point directed, Ashina Shali’s head fell. The coalition forces were all terrified, leaving the northwestern nations trembling.
That could truly be called:
“With a pen, he can settle the world; on a horse, he can determine the universe. Heroic and valiant before the formation, holding ten thousand scrolls in his chest in the court. Embracing thousands of phenomena, swallowing ten thousand miles like a tiger. A heroic master of his generation, unparalleled under heaven.”
“The unparalleled sage ruler of the ages, Wei Wanlan.”
Facts proved that as long as the common people accepted this exaggeration, they didn’t care about the truth at all.
The populace was practically frantically making up for the deficiencies of all the mediocre rulers of the Wei family through Wei Wanlan.
So, the current Wei Wanlan could fly on a sword, tell fortunes, slay ghosts, judge fortune and misfortune with justice… yes, he could also review memorials. Except for the fact that the people thought he couldn’t reproduce, Wei Wanlan was a complete decathlete.
But in reality, the decathlete Wei Wanlan had been slacking off for half a month.
The silicone dummy went to work with the Regent King diligently every day, obediently handling government affairs. Under certain intentional cover-ups and protection by the Regent King, the dummy Little Emperor’s disguise was seamless.
The real Little Emperor, from the moment he was carried down from the Sunit Outpost until now, had been rotting away, refusing to go to work, staying in Zichen Palace every day:
Nurturing the heart, recuperating from illness, maintaining health.
The trip to the Turkic lands had exhausted Wei Wanlan!
QAQ QAQ QAQ…
For a long time, Wei Wanlan felt he had blood on his hands that couldn’t be washed clean. The moment Ashina Shali was killed would occasionally enter his dreams, even though he knew what he did was self-defense.
He didn’t believe in ghosts and gods, and he wasn’t afraid of Ashina Shali’s revenge, but… it just felt terrible.
Regardless of how the outside world rumored him to be versed in both civil and martial arts, he couldn’t get over it in his heart. Thinking about it cast a shadow.
Another sequela was the stomach illness.
When Wei Wanlan left the Turkic territory, he found he was still vomiting. Back in Chang’an, he was still vomiting. He vomited when smelling smoke, vomited when eating uncomfortably, and vomited upon receiving even a little stimulation.
It simply got worse.
This condition seriously affected his appetite, making Wei Wanlan lose his taste for food.
Wuwu, not being active about eating means there’s a problem with thinking. How can one feel food isn’t tasty? A large part of happiness in life lies in eating something good…
Wei Wanlan was also seriously reflecting.
However, it didn’t delay the aggravation of his illness. At its worst, he might swallow the imperial meal one moment, only to turn his head and call for a basin the next. It was very troublesome for Eunuch An and the maid sisters of Zichen Palace.
Wei Wanlan played Gomoku with An Ruyi to divert his attention while looking listless, experiencing today’s dose of discomfort.
Since Wei Wanlan’s return, the little sparrows raised free-range in Zichen Palace flew into the hall every few days, landing sporadically around him, hopping about. Their little claw tips made very subtle swish-swish sounds against the floor.
Wei Wanlan pressed down a chess piece and tapped the head of a certain little sparrow. He knew this one.
Little Sparrow: “Chirp chirp!”
Wei Wanlan picked up a pinch of pastry crumbs for it.
The little sparrow landed intimately on his hand.
“Your Majesty, look. Since winter began, the sparrows have all grown a full circle fatter. The little sparrows are bulging and round; how cute.”
Wei Wanlan nodded.
Eunuch An added, “Your Majesty, the little sparrows are on the branches every day hoping for your recovery. This afternoon is the fourth consultation by the imperial physicians. The Prince will also come from the Secretariat to accompany you for the checkup. Once the medicine cures the illness, you’ll be fine.”
Wei Wanlan rested his chin in his hand noncommittally. Will I?
…
“Come out. The imperial physicians have been waiting for a long time.”
“Wuwu, you need to change your tone. Zhen is a patient; you’re bullying a sick person.”
“Subject Su Jingzhi respectfully invites Your Majesty for treatment!”
The Regent King lifted his robes and bowed, his tone polite enough, suddenly adopting the etiquette of a subject.
Wei Wanlan poked half a dragon head out of the tent curtains, negotiating cautiously:
“Regent King, can you tell them that we’ve had consultations several times already? Can we stop prescribing acupuncture and bitter medicine?”
“We’ll put sugar in the medicine,” Su Jingzhi said.
“What about acupuncture?”
“If they stick you with one needle, they’ll stick This King with two. I’ll get pricked with you.”
“No.” Wei Wanlan was still very principled. “It will hurt.”
He had been cowardly since childhood. Taking medicine, getting injections, getting IV drips—he didn’t like any of it.
But the imperial physicians here in Chang’an thought medicine wasn’t potent enough and added acupuncture. This was continuous injections, continuous suffering, with no obvious effect.
Wei Wanlan had to find a way to refuse.
“If it can’t be cured, let’s stop poking…” he suggested, clutching the curtain and revealing a pair of watery eyes. “Hope the Regent King can listen to Zhen’s opinion.” He even brought out the grand technique of acting coquettish. “Begging you (Qiuqiu ni), okay?”
He thought that by pestering and pleading, the result would be Su Jingzhi compromising.
In reality, the Regent King did not yield. He was very firm regarding Wei Wanlan’s health issues:
“Little Wan, This King has practiced martial arts, but I haven’t studied medicine. I can only accompany you to see the best doctors. As for whether they change the medicine or the plan, let’s try first. If it doesn’t work, we’ll stop immediately.”
Not wanting to drag the little dummy to the consultation room, Su Jingzhi negotiated nicely. Coaxing the little dummy was also a technical skill.
The little dummy was very obedient and not unreasonable. It was just that his body had been uncomfortable recently, and cooperating with the treatment hadn’t brought relief, so he was throwing a tantrum.
Wei Wanlan poked his head out again: “Then it’s a deal.”
“En.” Only then did Su Jingzhi reach into the tent, scoop up the little dummy by the waist and the bend of his legs, picking up the whole Wei Wanlan. “Taking Wanwan to see the doctor.”
His forehead was kissed.
Wei Wanlan lowered his head.
Of course, the Regent King wouldn’t really carry Wei Wanlan horizontally to see so many imperial physicians. Wei Wanlan was now the renowned Young Emperor of Restoration; he needed face and imperial bearing.
Wei Wanlan, dressed neatly and full of dignity, appeared before the imperial physicians. No one knew that he had just put on his dragon boots at the nearest corner outside the consultation room.
“Long live Your Majesty.”
“All beloved subjects may rise.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Today’s attending physician was Imperial Physician Fang.
During the first three consultations, Physician Fang happened to have caught a contagious skin rash. The old physician dared not face the Emperor for fear of infecting him. So, it wasn’t until the fourth consultation that Physician Fang felt Wei Wanlan’s pulse. Previously, he had always been the one treating Wei Wanlan.
With many doctors, the room smelled of bitter herbs. Wei Wanlan stared at the auspicious cloud pattern on the pulse pillow. The Regent King stood behind him.
The relationship between the two was an open secret among the imperial physicians.
However, as one of the earliest insiders to notice something was amiss, Old Physician Fang had long passed the surprise stage and was now accustomed to the bizarre.
Physician Fang lightly placed three fingers on the Emperor’s pulse. He moved his fingertips, diagnosing back and forth for half a quarter of an hour. His frown deepened, the “川” character between his brows becoming more obvious.
The physician was silent, then said to the Emperor, “Please switch hands, Your Majesty.”
“Oh.” Wei Wanlan obediently switched to the other hand. The skin of his wrist was cold and white, very clean; he hadn’t let the Regent King leave any small red marks.
Physician Fang continued to diagnose the right hand.
The Emperor’s pulse was sunken and thin, hard to feel. But all currently perceptible signs, including the disciples’ reports on the illness, all pointed to the same situation—
Pregnancy.
Almost two months.
Vomiting and emotional sensitivity were all pregnancy reactions.
H-How is this p-possible?
On the surface, Old Physician Fang didn’t twitch a single eyebrow hair, but inside, raging waves were surging.
He even suspected that the failure to diagnose a slippery pulse until the fourth consultation, waiting for him to come out of isolation, was purely the little bastards of the Imperial Medical Office setting him up. If they were going to die, they would die together; no fish would be allowed to slip through the net, especially not an old fish.
Physician Fang furrowed his brows tighter, thinking about how to report this so he could keep his corpse intact.
The Little Emperor got bored of the diagnosis and casually grabbed a piece of hawthorn cake from the table, taking small bites. Sour for a boy, spicy for a girl.
The Regent King broke the silence at this moment: “Physician Fang, how is it?”
How is it!?
Even if His Majesty is really pregnant, isn’t the culprit you? You know you’re full of vigor and potency, but didn’t you know you had this extraordinary talent? And you have the nerve to ask?
In the quickest time possible, the old physician roasted the Regent King thoroughly in his mind. looking at the Little Emperor in front of him, tortured by pregnancy reactions until his small face was pointed and his eyes red, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of elder compassion.
He felt it; it was a slippery pulse. He swore on his career he hadn’t misdiagnosed, even if he found it ludicrous and strange himself!
He also felt that the baby wasn’t doing too well.
Physician Fang looked resentfully at the Regent King, clearly regarding Su Jingzhi as a beast who ignored the Little Emperor’s physical condition and sought pleasure immediately after returning from the expedition, completely unaware that Wei Wanlan’s unstable pregnancy was actually caused by the tossing about during the Turkic expedition.
Then he picked up his brush and wrote a prescription.
His report was highly artistic, fully representing the highest achievement of medicine and bureaucracy in the Great Wei Imperial Medical Office:
“Your Majesty is fine.”
Su Jingzhi breathed a sigh of relief.
Physician Fang added, “The warm and nourishing tonics that need to be taken must still be taken, but I, this old subject, must review all the prescriptions.” Can’t have anything that conflicts with pregnancy.
An Ruyi in the corner hurriedly held the medicine box and handed over all the prescriptions: “Physician, please.”
Physician Fang continued, “The vomiting phenomenon is also easy to handle. This old subject has a prescription here to stop vomiting and protect the stomach.” I’ll just modify the prescription for alleviating morning sickness for you.
Physician Fang seemed to be the easiest to talk to among all the doctors in the Imperial Medical Office.
Wei Wanlan hurriedly confirmed: “Then do I still need acupuncture?”
“No need.”
“Can I put sugar in the medicine?”
“Your Majesty need not treat the medicine as medicine. Your Majesty has no serious problem. Naturally, the condition will eventually resolve itself.”
“Heavy reward, heavy reward!” Physician Fang was simply too good. Wei Wanlan was happy.
Surrounded by a table full of gold, silver, and jade, Physician Fang turned a big issue into a small one, receiving various admiring gazes from the disciples of the Imperial Medical Office, hiding his merit and fame.
Anyway, just nurture the fetus. I won’t tell you you’re pregnant regardless.
Wait a few months when the belly really gets big and there’s fetal movement, and this old man is sure there’s a little crown prince in His Majesty’s belly, then I’ll make the next arrangement.
The “stomach illness” that had plagued Wei Wanlan for days seemed exceptionally trivial here with Physician Fang. Wei Wanlan slowly breathed a sigh of relief.
The old physician finally said, “By the way, this old subject has one more matter.” Physician Fang cupped his hands to Su Jingzhi. He had something to say that had to be explained to the child’s father. “Could the Prince please stay for a moment? This old subject has an important matter to report.”
