Chapter 37: I Want You to Kiss Me, I Feel So Uncomfortable
“…I won’t go back on my word.”
“What?”
“I didn’t say I was going back on my word.” The more Wen Ling spoke, the more aggrieved he felt, and two tears suddenly fell. “But I’m so sad…”
“Don’t cry, what’s wrong?” Seeing Wen Ling cry made Cheng Ge panic. “What’s wrong? I’ll come find you whenever I’m free. Don’t be sad. Besides, I’m right next door, so close.”
“But I can’t sleep with you at night. The first person I see when I open my eyes in the morning won’t be you, and I can’t hug you as soon as I wake up.” Wen Ling looked at Cheng Ge, feeling incredibly sad. “What should I do?”
Cheng Ge hurriedly wiped away Wen Ling’s tears. “But you got by just fine before…”
“It’s different…” Wen Ling interrupted Cheng Ge. “Before is different from now. How can you be like this? You don’t understand at all.”
Cheng Ge indeed didn’t quite understand. He could only interpret it as “it is easy to go from frugality to extravagance, but hard to go from extravagance to frugality”—Wen Ling was used to being held while sleeping, so he couldn’t accept sleeping alone now.
“Then how about I buy you a big plushie to sleep with?” Cheng Ge suggested, thinking having something to hug should be about the same. “Just treat the plushie as me.”
Wen Ling suddenly glared at Cheng Ge, cheeks puffed up with anger.
Cheng Ge felt a bit cowardly under the glare. “What’s wrong…”
“You liar. Are you a plushie?” Wen Ling actually put on the airs of someone lecturing others. “Is there any difference between a plushie and a specimen? I only want the current, present-moment Cheng Ge.”
Cheng Ge was lectured into silence. What Wen Ling said seemed to make sense, and he was even using the logic Cheng Ge had taught him. It was simply shooting himself in the foot.
“…No, what I mean is, you can treat the plushie as a kind of spiritual sustenance,” Cheng Ge switched angles. “The plushie accompanying you represents me accompanying you. Besides, it’s not like I can be with you forever…”
“Didn’t you say you would stay with me forever?” Wen Ling’s tears flowed again. It was suppressed, yet even more turbulent than before.
“No, no,” Cheng Ge immediately realized he was dancing in Wen Ling’s minefield again. “I mean I will die eventually. What if I die before you? You can’t possibly sleep hugging my corpse, right?”
Wen Ling fell silent, staring at Cheng Ge with red-rimmed eyes.
Cheng Ge felt a chill in his heart. Wen Ling’s gaze made it seem like he would really do that. That was too damn perverted!
Impossible, right!? Surely his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Cheng Ge couldn’t care less about the consequences anymore and continued to spout nonsense under the pressure: “I will definitely die before you. When I die, you treat the plushie as me, as if I’m still in this world, still accompanying you. It’s different from turning the living me into a specimen. Can you understand?”
Wen Ling was quiet for a long time. Finally, he took a deep breath and wiped away his tears himself. “…Mn.”
It seemed Wen Ling was overly easy to talk to today, Cheng Ge thought.
“Then you eat your fill first. After eating, I’ll buy you an extra-large plush doll, okay?”
“Okay.” Wen Ling sniffled and nodded reluctantly.
Before Cheng Ge could sigh in relief, Wen Ling suddenly added a sentence: “I want you to kiss me. I feel so uncomfortable.”
Cheng Ge: “!?”
In broad daylight, and with everyone watching, even if he were a movie king, he couldn’t keep acting. Besides, if he dared to kiss in the cafeteria now, he’d be posted on the campus wall and scolded the next second.
“Let’s not, there are so many people, I’m shy.” This statement was half-true, half-false. Cheng Ge looked away. “Also, we can’t kiss on these occasions, you know? We’ll get scolded.”
“Why?” Wen Ling furrowed his brows slightly, genuinely unclear.
“Would you be willing to watch people gnawing on each other’s mouths while you’re eating?”
“I don’t know, I don’t look at others.” Wen Ling looked at Cheng Ge’s serious expression and thought for a moment. “Probably not willing.”
“Exactly, so let’s not do these things, okay?”
Wen Ling nodded. “Then can we hold hands? Holding hands is fine. I really feel very uncomfortable; my brain is about to stop thinking.”
Cheng Ge thought, When Wen Ling says he can’t think, he doesn’t mean he’s going to go crazy and enter yandere mode, right!?
“Holding hands is okay.” Cheng Ge didn’t dare hesitate anymore. He moved his rice bowl over, held Wen Ling’s left hand under the table, and squeezed Wen Ling’s palm. “Don’t be sad, eat properly.”
Honestly, Wen Ling had been good-tempered and reasonable enough today. If he kept retreating, he would really push the person too far.
And looking at Wen Ling’s expression, looking as if he had suffered a massive grievance, he was truly quite pitiful.
Actually, holding hands wasn’t nearly enough.
Wen Ling still wanted to lock Cheng Ge up, chain him with iron chains, so that Cheng Ge would only see him and belong only to him. He could hug Cheng Ge tight every day; he wanted kisses, wanted Cheng Ge’s everything… But Cheng Ge said if he locked him up, he would become like a specimen. He didn’t want that kind of Cheng Ge.
It was extremely contradictory. He couldn’t suppress the thoughts of wanting to occupy Cheng Ge.
Cheng Ge could feel Wen Ling constantly leaning closer to him until there was almost no distance between them, but Cheng Ge said nothing, allowing Wen Ling to make those small movements.
Because he didn’t dare, and because of some unnamed emotions, he didn’t want to stop him.
After eating, Cheng Ge and Wen Ling went to the living area together to look for an extra-large doll. After walking around, they actually found a row of plushies larger than half a person on the top shelf at the end.
“Pick one you like.”
Wen Ling glanced from the beginning to the end, his eyes only becoming a bit more vivid at the very end. “I want that bear.”
“Okay.” Cheng Ge used a clothes hook to hook the big bear down. Holding it and looking at it for a while, he asked, “You like bears?”
“It looks a lot like you.”
Cheng Ge: “???”
A light brown smiling plush bear with black, round eyes, looking dopey and silly. Where did it look like him!? Cheng Ge thought it looked quite like Wen Ling.
Cheng Ge handed the big bear to Wen Ling. “You might be seeing…” The words “things wrong” didn’t come out; Cheng Ge got stuck, looking at Wen Ling in surprise.
“The big bear blocked it.” Wen Ling held the bear, blocking both of their heads, and kissed the corner of Cheng Ge’s mouth again. “Also, there’s no one here.”
“I really want to kiss you. My brain is filled with these thoughts.”
Cheng Ge’s brain was buzzing, seemingly losing the ability to think normally. He gently held Wen Ling’s face and quickly kissed his cheek and lips several times, giving a baffling instruction: “Don’t keep thinking about it.”
Wen Ling looked at Cheng Ge with round eyes. His long, curled eyelashes fluttered slightly a few times before finally curving into an arc.
Cheng Ge avoided Wen Ling’s dazzling gaze and coughed lightly before his brain started working again. “Anything else to buy? Let’s buy it while we’re at it.”
“Seems there’s nothing for now.”
Cheng Ge took the big bear to check out. Four hundred and twenty-five. It was like robbery. The money he made playing games these past few days all went into it. Cheng Ge swore he would never buy a doll in this store again.
Clearly, Wen Ling and Cheng Ge’s dorms were right next door to each other, incredibly close. He really couldn’t understand why Wen Ling was so sad and uneasy.
At the dorm entrance, Cheng Ge gave the rag to Wen Ling and patted his shoulder, as if cheering him on. “Go in.”
Wen Ling was nailed to the spot without moving, hesitating to speak.
Cheng Ge didn’t know what Wen Ling wanted to do and asked tentatively, “You don’t know how to make the bed?”
“I do.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
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