Chapter 11: Calling Him Dad
The filming location for this variety show wasn’t a well-known tourist spot. After the show aired, netizens tracked down the address, discovering that it was incredibly remote, far beyond the reach of typical follow-up filming.
The accommodations weren’t great either. A small courtyard halfway up a hillside overlooking a stream; while clearly cleaned, the conditions were quite basic.
The cooking tools were still a traditional earthen stove. Many fans felt a sense of foreboding, fearing the show wouldn’t provide food.
Tang Yue and Jiang Shulu weren’t concerned about this issue. One was preoccupied with hiding a secret; the other was curious about Tang Yue’s “someone.”
“Okay, I’m also very curious.”
“The child looks like the captain; saying that makes it even weirder 555 I know it’s impossible, but it really does!! Ah ah ah ah it looks like Tang Yue had a child with Jiang Shulu!”
“Will Tang Yue and Jiang Shulu sleep together tonight? That bed doesn’t look very sturdy.”
“This kind of parenting variety show wouldn’t make the guests cook themselves, right? It feels more like a travel show, and the scenery looks great.”
Tang Yue seemed troubled again. Jiang Shulu: “Sorry, did I ask too much?”
His sudden apology made Tang Yue even more flustered, but the next second, Jiang Shulu bent slightly, meeting Tang Yue’s gaze. Tang Yue hadn’t really looked at his long-lost friend after seeing Jiang Shulu.
He knew Jiang Shulu was handsome, a type of absolute noble handsomeness; handsome enough to always be the undisputed first place in any idol vote. Handsome enough that Tang Yue, during breaks in the practice room, would secretly look at Jiang Shulu in the mirror, thinking, “If only this person were mine.”
But it couldn’t be.
Jiang Shulu looked much more mature than five years ago. He always possessed an extraordinary aura, appearing at ease even without a suit, a natural leader.
It was as if he was born to control everything without needing to force anyone to bow to his appearance.
But Jiang Shulu’s looks had a certain enchanting effect on Tang Yue; when he smiled apologetically, with a hint of sadness: “You left without saying goodbye; I couldn’t find you and was always worried.”
Five years of separation had made Jiang Shulu even more striking, and Tang Yue couldn’t help but be moved.
Jiang Shulu didn’t know how rapidly Tang Yue’s heart was beating, his throat instantly dry.
Tang Yue wanted to look away, fearing he would waver again.
On Planet 9787, even knowing he could have children, Tang Yue hadn’t explored it much.
During his gloomy adolescence, he hadn’t been untouched by discussions among his peers about the different body structures of men on their planet and the intense pleasure they experienced.
There were also online posts mentioning marriage and intimacy.
Tang Yue, in his adolescence, hadn’t dared to look closely because the posts were too explicit.
Things like “spiritual and physical unity” and “if you like someone, you’ll think about them day and night.”
But some things are different after experiencing them.
Learning that Jiang Shulu wasn’t with Liu Xichao, a certain lock in Tang Yue’s heart loosened.
But liking was one thing, and he was still hesitant, not planning to be completely open so soon.
But Jiang Shulu didn’t let him look away; instead, he cupped Tang Yue’s face.
Tang Yue was a little flustered, Jiang Shulu’s touch was brief, and his tone teasing: “Did I get ugly? I remember Xiao Yue secretly looking at me before.”
Jiang Shulu’s directness brought a blush to Tang Yue’s face.
“What the…?”
“Is this something I can see on a parenting variety show??”
“Can…you see this kind of thing on a group variety show too?”
“Is Jiang Shulu crazy!”
“If we assume Jiang Shulu likes Tang Yue, then I think him being crazy is reasonable.”
“Did Tang Yue secretly look at Jiang Shulu before? Show me the video!!”
“I remember a blurry practice room clip. Tang Yue was seemingly looking at the mirror, but it was later revealed he was looking at Jiang Shulu in the mirror. There was a long essay about it…I didn’t pay attention to it at the time.”
“It’s over, I remember too, it was said to be over-interpreting at the time. Help! I increasingly feel that this underdog couple is making a comeback.”
Tang Yue hurriedly denied: “I didn’t!”
His skin was very white, and he hadn’t tanned during his years living in the mountains. The soft touch of his skin evoked a surge of desire in Jiang Shulu the moment he withdrew his hand.
But the former captain showed nothing on his face; he merely nodded: “Then you didn’t.”
“Is Jiang Shulu teasing Tang Yue ah ah ah!”
“It’s over, place your bets.”
“I wish I could go back five years and tell myself not to ship the wrong couple.”
Tang Yue also felt like he was being teased.
He wasn’t without a temper, but he only hummed softly.
Tang Yue: “I and…”
Just as he was about to speak, the door was knocked on by a staff member, followed by Tang Mian bouncing in.
The doorsill was a bit high; the little guy had trouble walking over it, almost tripping, but Jiang Shulu quickly caught him.
After catching him, he swung the child around, making the little one laugh.
Tang Yue watched the two of them from the bed, feeling increasingly guilty.
He turned to see the director followed by Yao Lixin.
The latter looked at him, winked, and tilted his head.
This was a gesture Tang Yue and Yao Lixin often used in the group, mostly to slip away when Jiang Shulu wasn’t paying attention.
Under the guise of going to the toilet, they would go downstairs to buy snacks or go to a lounge on a certain floor of the company to play a game.
As Tang Yue stood up to leave, his hand was grabbed by Jiang Shulu.
Jiang Shulu held five-year-old Tang Mian in one arm and grabbed Tang Yue’s wrist with the other: “Where are you going?”
Tang Yue: “Second Brother called me.”
Yao Lixin: “I have something to give to Tang Yue, Captain, why are you so nervous?”
His tone always seemed to have a wavy line, perfectly fitting the image of a melon-eating crowd.
“I envy Yao Lixin, he can watch the drama unfold live.”
“That’s a strange way to put it, is it what I think it means?”
“I suggest Yao Lixin retires early and publishes a memoir so I can read it.”
Jiang Shulu let go; Tang Mian was still clinging to his neck, praising loudly: “Uncle Jiang is so amazing, even my dad can’t hold me like that.”
As soon as Tang Yue stepped out, he turned back angrily: “I can too.”
Unfortunately, it had no effect. Tang Mian sighed deeply: “Dad, don’t force yourself, you’re already gasping for air after going up the mountain.”
Tang Yue: …
“Such a sarcastic son!”
“I’m Tang Yue’s mother fan, so is Tang Mian my grandson? Help!! I’m a grandmother fan!”
“Jiang Shulu’s figure is also too good 8 An YouTuber I follow keeps fawning over him, I thought he was a straight man loved by gays before, now…maybe he’s…”
“The male idol with the most male fans was also Jiang Shulu, right!! So strange, he doesn’t look like the type to attract male fans!”
“He attracts 0 fans.”
“But he’s not a muscular man!!”
“Muscular men aren’t necessarily 1 ah ah ah—”
Tang Yue went to the courtyard; Jiang Shulu followed with Tang Mian.
The program team announced the week’s schedule.
Previous travel parenting variety shows were usually strung together with game segments.
But this “Mountain and Water Journey” was a well-known parenting variety show that was actually a group variety show.
However, there was still the element of adults taking care of children.
The guest’s five-day task was to take the children to a workshop to make a complete bamboo craft.
This was interspersed with daily explorations of the village, helping local NPCs with tasks, and so on.
The chairs in the courtyard weren’t of good quality; Tang Yue almost ripped his pants on a nail when he sat down earlier.
Hearing that he had to do crafts, his face turned pale, making Yao Lixin burst into laughter: “Tang Yue is super clumsy.”
Tang Mian, his son, found amusement in teasing his father: “Dad said he’d iron a flower onto the pants I ripped, but he burned them.”
Tang Yue covered his face, his ears turning red: “Don’t say that anymore.”
Jiang Shulu saw that his pants were still caught on a nail and helped him pull them free, while changing him to a lower stool.
The former members of the top boy band were all incredibly tall, and even after several years of disbandment, their visuals were still dazzling and varied, all top-tier.
Jiang Shulu: “I don’t have children, do I still have to make one?”
He asked the director.
Jiang Shulu, often appearing in financial news photos, usually had his forehead exposed, with a high nose bridge and pale lips, looking somewhat abstinent.
In the live variety show, Jiang Shulu wasn’t wearing a slicked-back hairstyle, nor was he in a suit; the beige coat gave him a softer autumnal look.
He even held the child in his arms when Tang Mian tried to sit on Tang Yue.
“I can’t take it anymore, they look too much alike!!”
“Doesn’t Jiang Shulu think this is his son?”
“I think he really likes Xiao Mie!”
“Am I the only one who thinks Jiang Shulu’s slicked-back hair is handsome? He really can pull off any style…”
Before the director could speak, Yao Lixin spoke first: “What do you mean you don’t have a child? Just treat Tang Mian as your child, isn’t it okay to make an extra one?”
He was completely unrestrained, stirring things up, causing a momentary blank in the live stream comments.
After a few seconds, it exploded.
“Ah ah ah ah ah Yao Lixin, are you crazy!! My spokesperson!!”
“Second Brother, don’t get carried away.”
“On purpose hahaha I want to @Liu Xichao!!”
Tang Yue was also startled. He lifted his eyes in shock, opening his mouth but not knowing what to say.
But his son was very happy: “Okay, okay! So I’ll have two toys! One more than Brother Xuan Yu!”
The other child nodded: “That means you have two dads.”
Tang Yue, who had just tried to drink water to relieve his embarrassment, was choked, almost coughing to death.
Jiang Shulu patted him on the back to help him catch his breath.
His son feigned profound sorrow: “Dad, how careless! I’m worried!”
Tang Yue: “You’re not worried, no photos.”
The next second, Tang Yue reacted: “Where did you get the tools?”
Tang Mian proudly poked his head out from Jiang Shulu’s arms: “Uncle Jiang gave it to me when Dad was sleeping on the plane! I’m wearing it now, it’s even more fun than the one at home.”
The curly-haired child held out his hand, proudly showing off his watch: “It’s a top-of-the-line genius watch, even better than Brother Xuan Yu’s!—”
Then he turned on the camera, struck a pose, and took a picture of Tang Yue: “Super cool! Uncle Jiang is so nice!!”
Yao Lixin added fuel to the fire: “Still calling him uncle?”
Tang Mian immediately understood: “Dad Shulu?”
Jiang Shulu was quite cooperative at this point, making an “eh” sound: “How did I become a dad?”
Tang Mian scratched his head: “I can’t call Xiao Yue Mom.”
Tang Yue was completely numb.
He was desperate, thinking: I should just find someone to kill me.
How am I going to end this! What if they find out the truth and take me to be studied?
Although in this world there are a few cases of men having children due to genetic issues, but…
They’re still few and far between ah ah ah ah!
When is the next asteroid going to hit Earth? Can I leave the same way I came?
Maybe the landfill is more peaceful.
__________
Author’s Note:
“The Gift”
Tang Yue fell asleep on the plane,
Jiang Shulu had his assistant pass the gift to Tang Mian.
Jiang Shulu: “It’s our first meeting, Uncle doesn’t know what you like, this…”
Tang Mian: “A children’s watch! I have one!”
Jiang Shulu: …
I should have ignored my secretary.
Tang Mian wasn’t shy at all, glancing at Tang Yue who was wearing an eye mask, and quietly asked: “But I can’t take pictures of the one Dad gave me, can I take pictures of Uncle’s?”
Jiang Shulu: “I only give you the best.”
The child hesitated a little.
Jiang Shulu: “Are you afraid your dad won’t let you accept it?”
Yao Lixin: “It’s okay, your dad has received many gifts from this uncle before.”
Tang Mian tilted his head: “What?”
Jiang Shulu: “Many, right?”
Yao Lixin: “Isn’t the vegetable patch by the dorm yours? I didn’t expect we could grow vegetables where we lived.”
Jiang Shulu: …
Tang Mian: “Dad likes growing vegetables.”
Yao Lixin: “He also likes growing vegetables online.”
Remembering Tang Yue’s midnight alarm clock to harvest vegetables in his online garden.
Jiang Shulu: …
Tang Mian: “It seems Uncle Jiang knows what Dad likes, so I should…”
Tang Mian: “Probably…”
Jiang Shulu: “Don’t worry, your dad won’t blame you.”
The little guy blinked at him.
Jiang Shulu: “I should…probably…not be considered an outsider.”
Yao Lixin thought: So, are you an insider then?
Unexpectedly, Jiang Shulu later became an insider.