Chapter 138: Waking from the Dream
He knew what a shattered Dao Heart meant, but—”What is killing the heart to prove the Dao?”
The Great Elder’s expression became solemn.
“Do you know that although the cultivation paths of the Ruthless Way seem varied, they are largely the same? Summarized, there are only two types.”
Shen Bingsi immediately pricked up his ears, listening respectfully for cultivation secrets. This was what interested him most.
“One is Severing Thoughts. Cutting off chaotic thoughts at the source. No thoughts, no emotions. The state of mind is like an ancient well without ripples. Eventually, one comprehends the Ruthless Great Dao and assimilates with heaven and earth,” the Great Elder said. “This method of cultivation requires years of practice, constantly testing oneself, like walking on a blade’s edge until it feels like flat ground.”
“This is the one Master taught me,” Shen Bingsi said.
“Correct. The other type was attempted by someone before, but ended in failure.” The Great Elder’s gaze was distant, as if looking into another time and space. “That method involves first cultivating a true love in the heart, an object of obsessive pursuit, and then killing them with one’s own hands.”
“This is the so-called killing the heart to prove the Dao.” Shen Bingsi understood. He wasn’t too surprised; instead, he understood this method quite well. As Master said, the human heart is subtle and fickle. Loving someone to death and plotting to make them die are separated by a fine line. However, for someone who saw through things as clearly as he did, cultivating a true love in his heart was impossible to begin with, so this method didn’t suit him.
“Your comprehension is good.” The Great Elder rarely praised anyone, but today he praised Shen Bingsi twice. “However, this method has another name: killing the wife to prove the Dao. In the past… some sects used this cultivation method. Without exception, they all failed, even causing turmoil and division. Those cultivators who supported killing the wife to prove the Dao were eventually expelled from their sects and became heretics.”
“So that’s how it is,” Shen Bingsi said. “Then what is the difference between killing the wife to prove the Dao and killing the heart to prove the Dao as Master mentioned?”
The Great Elder was silent for a long time, then said, “There is no difference.”
That was a memory from a long, long time ago. Back then, Shen Bingsi hadn’t started learning the Ruthless Path from the Great Elder. The Great Elder mentioned “killing the wife to prove the Dao” once, labeled it heretical, and the matter was passed over. Shen Bingsi never thought it would have anything to do with him.
Now, the incomprehensible events happening before his eyes could only be explained by this term. With the Heavenly Demon before them, why did the Sky Mirror show that the person Shen Bingsi liked most was Rong Xie? After “Shen Bingsi” came out, why did he do such unthinkable things? Everything pointed to one answer.
Things had finally developed to the worst step. The human heart is subtle. Someone who loathed desire to the extreme had become a captive of desire, secretly swapping his feelings for the person beside him without even knowing it.
Shen Bingsi took a step back. The massive tremor in his Sea of Consciousness prevented him from moving forward. Everything before him was shrouded in blinding white light. The “Shen Bingsi” and Rong Xie in the “embrace” became distant, like two pine needles sealed in amber, like ancient statues frozen in a glacier. Shen Bingsi watched all this indifferently, while simultaneously feeling something very important to him shattering. The contents inside had already shattered; only the shell looked the same as before. But the shell’s crumbling was only a matter of time.
When the Heavenly Demon rose from the night sky again, “Shen Bingsi” also transformed into a streak of golden light, streaking across half the sky to strike the blood moon directly.
In the empty courtyard, the dark red light of the blood moon flowed everywhere.
Rong Xie slowly squatted down, one hand covering his chest and abdomen. A large amount of blood seeped from under his palm until the entire moon-white front of his robe was dyed deep crimson.
There was pain on his face, but no surprise, nor anger. Like a person resigned to fate, possessing no living emotions, only thinking about how to endure the present pain, he slowly lay on the ground, back to Shen Bingsi, curling up his body.
Shen Bingsi had once chased a giant deep-sea monster in the North Sea. When it appeared, it would strike the ice, emitting a rhythmic sound like distant thunder.
Now, that sound came again, louder and clearer. Shen Bingsi felt his whole body vibrating. His jaw went numb from the tremors, his head dizzy and tingling.
That was the sound of his own heartbeat.
The outer shell had shattered into pieces at some unknown time. When Shen Bingsi rushed toward Rong Xie, they fell to the ground with a crash, never to be pieced back into their original form.
“Rong’er!” Shen Bingsi’s arm passed through Rong Xie’s back, futilely trying to scoop something up. “Rong’er, get up! This is just a dream!”
He didn’t want to pass through Rong Xie. He moved to the other side, screaming words no one could hear: “Rong’er, wake up! Let’s go back together, back to reality! There will be a way, there will be!”
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. But what if having a heart is the beginning of getting hurt?
Rong Xie’s eyelids drooped, as if he were asleep.
The clothes on his chest were soaked with blood. Dark red blood spread along his arm resting on the ground. The warm liquid seeped into the cold stone floor of Mystic Mountain’s peak. The light of the blood moon was like red gauze in a wedding hall, covering his snow-pale cheeks with a layer of red.
Shen Bingsi’s vision began to shake violently. Another similar image alternated with the scene before him. Occasionally, the two images squeezed into the same field of view, as if the world had split in half. Past and future, dream and reality—the person straddling two boats was torn apart from the middle, blood and entrails splattering everywhere. The wound he thought had healed had never stopped festering; he had just cut off the pain, covered his eyes, and thought it didn’t exist.
“I won’t love anyone.” The rebellious youth who had just been accepted by the Great Elder said naively.
But why was he so happy when he knew Rong Xie still liked him?
Why did he want to keep him at all costs when he left?
Why did he feel dejected when Rong Xie chatted happily with others?
As long as they could be as good as before, he didn’t mind being his Dao companion. They would do everything Dao companions did.
Once there were two people. They lived together. Their daily life was like Dao companions; going out was like Dao companions; constantly contacting each other was like Dao companions; outsiders saw them as Dao companions; behind closed doors, they did what Dao companions did. So, what was the relationship between these two?
What kind of heart wanted to keep this relationship?
“Severing Heavens Blade, burying one’s head in the sand.”
Did he have to wait until the World-Destroying Heavenly Demon descended and the Sky Mirror told him before he would face this heart that had strayed from the start?
Did someone have to die in front of him for him to understand that everything had a time limit?
A howl of pain like a wild beast burst from his chest, echoing in the wind heard by no one.
This was just a nightmare imagined by Rong Xie. But with what feelings did Rong Xie imagine such a nightmare?
Why did he accept his fate calmly, calmly admit their relationship, and willingly go to his death, as if he knew he would be killed to prove the Dao?
People who die in dreams can come back to life.
But can a dream owner who dies in their own dream really come back to life?
Unknowingly, Shen Bingsi had slumped to the ground, lower than even an orchid. He lay beside Rong Xie, staring fixedly at that lifeless face.
A sigh came from beside his ear.
“Bingsi, why are you still here?”
Shen Bingsi jerked his head around. Behind him were only the infinite night sky and the empty courtyard.
A flash of moon-white light caught the corner of his eye. Shen Bingsi jerked his head back again, his eyes gradually widening, light returning to his deep black pupils.
A layer of moon-white light separated from the cold body on the ground, gradually taking on a complete form.
A translucent Rong Xie sat up from the ground, as if just waking from bed. He looked at Shen Bingsi, a faint sorrow gathering between his brows. “This is a dream. You shouldn’t have watched for so long.”
Shen Bingsi reached out and touched Rong Xie’s face.
Warm, cool, smooth—just like before.
He slowly stroked Rong Xie’s face, to the soft contours of his ear, then to his slender, soft neck. His palm stopped where the neck met the shoulder. Pressing down with his thumb, he could feel a strong, vigorous pulse through the thin layer of skin.
“Bingsi…” Rong Xie frowned, his pupils moving as he studied Shen Bingsi’s expression with worry.
Shen Bingsi didn’t know what expression he wore. He only felt something blocking him from throat to chest. Suddenly, he leaned forward, hugging Rong Xie tightly, burying his face in his neck.
“Bingsi.” Rong Xie let him hug him obediently, leaning his body toward him. After a while, he raised his hand and gently patted Shen Bingsi’s back. “These are all dreams. Lu Yingqi didn’t die, and neither did I. After waking up, nothing happened. Don’t remember it.”
Shen Bingsi buried his face deeper into the hollow of Rong Xie’s neck, suppressing wet gasps in that soft, gentle haven.
Rong Xie felt like he was holding a wounded lion. He was constantly knocked backward, and just when he was about to lose balance, he was pulled back hard, nearly breaking his back, and kneaded into a hot embrace.
It wasn’t that Shen Bingsi hadn’t cried in his arms like this before. But previously, it was always for Shen Bingsi’s own illusions, his own mental demons.
This time, Shen Bingsi was crying for his dream.
Rong Xie felt at a loss, unsure what to do.
This dream was indeed terrifying… When he first dreamt it, Rong Xie had cried for half the night too. What was more terrifying was that it would come true.
After having this dream, Rong Xie thought about leaving, thought about questioning, thought about many things. The only thing he hadn’t thought about was telling Shen Bingsi.
Especially after verifying that many people and events in the dream truly existed, he wanted to tell Shen Bingsi even less. He could confess, leave, evaporate from Shen Bingsi’s life—but he didn’t want to tell Shen Bingsi that in a certain future, the Sky Mirror would reveal such a revelation, and they would have such an ending.
Why? Rong Xie didn’t know himself. Perhaps what he didn’t want to see was exactly this. While there was still hope to change the future, he didn’t want Shen Bingsi to know such a cruel ending.
“Bingsi, it’s okay, it’s okay. Let’s go out.” Rong Xie soothed Shen Bingsi’s back. “Don’t you know? These are all fake… It’s Madam Mei’s illusion.”
Amidst the strange voices carried by the wind, Rong Xie gradually pieced together the truth. He hadn’t entered the dream naturally but was ambushed by Madam Mei. Someone had been muttering in his ear, trying to wake him up.
Someone even broke directly into his dream.
This person was right in front of him.
“Mn…” The gasping gradually subsided. Shen Bingsi responded with a low sound against his neck.
The surrounding environment swirled and distorted, spinning rapidly like a vortex. Everything became blurred.
Then it stopped.
Rong Xie opened his eyes and saw an unfamiliar ceiling. The strong scent of Albizia Flower Dew floated in the air. Someone was lying by his bedside, a heavy arm pressing on his stomach, crossing half his body to firmly grip the hand he had placed on the outside of his hip bone.
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