Chapter 3: The First Trick to Playing a Green Tea
Jiang Yu pulled his car in front of a dessert shop he frequently visited, just like usual.
Because a certain someone loved eating from here.
He stood hesitantly in front of the rows of desserts, struggling to choose which one to pick.
“I got Tiramisu last time, and I think I also got the Durian Mille-Crepe before…”
“Has he tried the Basque Cake yet…”
A waitress nearby, having just finished her tasks, looked up to see a tall, upright figure in a long trench coat frowning slightly at the dessert display case.
The man had a slender build, and the exquisite dial of the watch on his wrist caught the light in scattered gleams. She remembered a customer with such an outstanding aura very clearly—every time he came, he only bought a single portion of dessert, yet he would always stand in front of the counter, pondering seriously for a long time.
“Sir, are you getting dessert for your younger brother again today?” The waitress approached with a smile, her voice gentle.
Jiang Yu looked up, the hesitation between his brows melting into a slight smile: “Yes. I’m just not sure which flavor to pick today.” His long fingers tapped lightly on the glass counter. “He said the Tiramisu from last time was too bitter, and complained that the Durian Mille-Crepe’s smell was too strong. This newly released Basque Cake you have, is it too sweet?”
The waitress noticed that as he spoke, his gaze swept back and forth between the chocolate mousse and the Basque cake. That focused expression didn’t look like someone choosing a dessert, but rather like someone trying to complete a highly important mission.
“Actually, we just launched a limited edition Sea Salt Cheese Cake,” she guided him to look at the display case on the right. “It’s a mix of sweet and salty. A lot of customers have given feedback saying it isn’t cloying at all. Yesterday, a customer specifically came back to buy it three times, saying the kid at home absolutely loved it.”
“Three times?” Jiang Yu raised an eyebrow slightly, then chuckled and shook his head. “If that brat at home takes a liking to something, he’d probably be even more exaggerated than that.”
He ultimately chose the Sea Salt Cheese Tart, but added a portion of Basque Cake during packaging: “Just in case the new product doesn’t suit his taste, there’s a backup option.”
The waitress expertly tied the ribbon and handed over the exquisite packaging box. Watching the corners of Jiang Yu’s eyes unconsciously soften into a gentle curve as he received the box, she suddenly understood why this man, who looked completely out of place in a dessert shop, would always appear here.
As he pushed open the glass door, Jiang Yu’s phone rang right on cue. He looked down at the caller ID:
“Got it, I’m heading back now. The ones I bought today… are definitely flavors you’ve never tasted before.”
The streetlights stretched his shadow long. Tomorrow, he would probably stand in the exact same spot, pondering seriously over the next sweet dilemma—this kind of routine had long become the most precious part of his life.
The car slowly rolled to a stop at the entrance. Jiang Yu stepped out, steadily carrying the ribbon-tied box in his hand.
Just thinking about the expression the other person would make when receiving the cakes made his features soften even more.
Of course, everything he imagined only lasted until he pushed the door open.
The moment Jiang Yu pushed the door open and saw the scene inside clearly, his face remained completely deadpan as he closed the door right back.
It must be a hallucination from working too hard.
——————————
Jiang Qing was sitting on the sofa with Jiang Linmu, studying how to play the role of a “Green Tea”.
“So… Brother. According to what you’re saying, we need to be even more green tea than that guy named Su Lin?”
“Exactly… Since your older brother likes this act, if we walk the path of his future partner, doesn’t that leave his partner with no path left to walk? Wouldn’t our plan succeed then?”
“Makes sense. You really think things through.” Jiang Linmu gave Jiang Qing a thumbs up.
“…I don’t need you to praise me.”
Jiang Qing sat with his legs crossed, his finger swiping back and forth on the tablet: “First of all, the essence of a green tea lies in—”
“I know!” Jiang Linmu raised his hand excitedly. “Speaking in a cutesy voice! Acting innocent!”
“Wrong.” Jiang Qing turned the tablet towards him, displaying a page densely packed with notes. “A beginner green tea acts cutesy. An advanced green tea must construct a sense of fragility. For example—”
He suddenly lowered his eyes, softening his voice: “Brother is so good to me, won’t your boyfriend get angry?”
Jiang Linmu was dumbfounded.
“The key is to evoke his protective instincts.” Jiang Qing swiped to the next slide of his presentation. “For example, what a green tea is best at is pretending to be physically weak, so we must—”
Before he could finish, Jiang Linmu suddenly clutched his chest and collapsed onto the sofa, panting weakly: “Brother… my chest hurts so much… it must be because I missed you too much today…”
“…” Jiang Qing expressionlessly grabbed a throw pillow and threw it at him. “Those are the early symptoms of a heart attack. I suggest you dial 120 directly.”
Jiang Linmu rolled over to dodge, pouting indignantly: “Then how do you think I should act?”
Jiang Qing stood up and walked to the window. He tilted his head slightly:
“So brother buys desserts for other people too… It’s okay, I’ll just eat the leftover red bean pastry from yesterday…”
Jiang Linmu froze for two seconds, then suddenly burst into frantic applause: “Brother!! You have a natural talent for this!!!”
“But there’s a problem.” Jiang Qing returned to normal, crossing his arms seriously. “The two of us are usually the type to tear the roof off the house in front of him. A sudden change will look too deliberate.”
“Then what should we do?”
Jiang Qing’s eyes lit up: “We have to take it step by step. Today, we’ll start from the moment he comes home—”
The sound of the front door opening came from the entryway.
The two exchanged a glance and immediately got into character.
When Jiang Yu pushed the door open and came in, he saw Jiang Qing sitting quietly on the sofa reading a book, while Jiang Linmu was next to him… arranging flowers.
This abnormal tranquility made his footsteps halt.
“Eldest Brother is back.” Jiang Qing looked up, revealing a gentle smile. “Work must have been exhausting, right? I brewed some tea.”
Jiang Yu stared at the cup of tea that was visibly steeped way too strong, then looked at the bunch of lilies in Jiang Linmu’s hands that had been ravaged beyond recognition. Expressionlessly, he closed the door.
His voice came from outside the door: “Sorry, I walked into the wrong house.”
The smiles of the brothers inside the room froze on their faces.
Holding the lilies that were practically reduced to “grass,” Jiang Linmu looked at Jiang Qing blankly: “Brother… is our acting really that bad?”
Staring at the tightly shut door, Jiang Qing slowly set down the teacup in his hand: “Do you think he suspects we’ve been possessed by something unclean?”
As soon as he finished speaking, the door was pushed open again.
Jiang Yu reappeared at the doorway with the family doctor, pointing at the two of them as he spoke to the doctor: “It’s these two, displaying sudden abnormal behavior. I suspect it’s a neurological disorder caused by food poisoning.”
The doctor pushed up his glasses and observed them seriously: “Second and Third Young Masters, please repeat after me: Eat the grapes but don’t spit out the grape skins.”
Jiang Qing: “…”
Jiang Linmu: “Brother, did we overplay our hand?”
Jiang Qing: “But I haven’t even unleashed my full potential yet.”
Jiang Linmu: “…”
Translator’s Note:
- Green Tea (綠茶): Short for “Green Tea Bitch” (綠茶婊), a very popular Chinese internet slang term. It refers to someone (usually female, but can be male) who appears pure, innocent, and fragile on the outside, but is actually manipulative and calculating on the inside.
- 120: The emergency phone number for an ambulance in China.
- Eat the grapes but don’t spit out the grape skins (吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮): A famous Chinese tongue twister. The doctor is testing their cognitive and motor functions to see if they actually have brain damage!
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