Chapter 43: Can You Like Me the Most?
In the end, he shook his head and offered a helpless smile. “To be honest, I don’t know either.”
This frank answer stunned everyone at the table. They had anticipated all sorts of responsesâteasing, specific, or vagueâbut they never expected such a direct “I don’t know.”
Jiang Qingâs gaze turned distant, as if he were looking back at the past or perhaps scrutinizing himself.
“I haven’t given it much thought. I used to think it was best to just let things happen naturally.” His fingertips lightly traced the rim of his glass. “Maybe when I actually meet that person, all my preconceived standards won’t matter anymore.”
He looked up, his eyes sweeping over the group. “So instead of asking what type I like, itâs better to ask what kind of person fate has in store for me.”
Xia Yinlan was the first to react, clapping her hands and laughing. “Well said! Fate is decided by the heavens! Come on, let’s have a toast to our Qingqingâs future mysterious ‘Mr. Right’!”
The atmosphere turned lively again as everyone raised their glasses. Jiang Limu secretly breathed a sigh of relief, though he couldn’t resist stealing another glance at Jiang Qing.
Chi Jian set down his glass and looked at Jiang Qing. “Before you meet them, Qing, why not come out more often and meet more people? Zero Six is always open to youânot just for the seafood, but for the chance encounters.”
Lin Siyu added, “Our hotel is hosting an art salon next month. If you’re interested, feel free to drop by. You might meet someone with similar interests.”
Xia Yinhan nodded quickly. “Right, right! Qingqing, you should come often! I’ll make you delicious food!”
Faced with these invitationsâsome subtle, some directâJiang Qing simply smiled without giving a definite answer, though his smile seemed a bit more genuine than before.
No one knew what the future held, but at least for this moment, he was willing to pause his retreat and take a look at the “different” people and scenery around him.
On the way back, Jiang Limu stared at the streetlights flashing past the window and asked in a small voice, “Ge, if we hadn’t been swapped back then… would I have never met you in this lifetime?”
Jiang Qingâs grip on the steering wheel tightened for a split second.
The interior of the car suddenly fell silent.
If they hadn’t been swapped…
Jiang Limu kept his head down, his fingers nervously picking at his seatbelt.
“Jiang Limu. There are no ‘ifs’.”
“You are my younger brother.” Jiang Qing spoke each word deliberately. “And I believe the time we spent growing up together and the things we experienced can never be replaced by anything.”
“After you learned to walk, you were always following behind me and tripping. Later, when you started school, youâd cause trouble and hide behind my back… all of that was real.”
“So, don’t think about a ‘if’ that doesn’t exist. You are Jiang Limu, and you are my brother. For the rest of this life.”
Jiang Limuâs tears finally spilled over, his voice choked with emotion. “…Ge.”
“Mm.”
“Then… if you really start dating or get married in the future, you can’t abandon me.” He sobbed softly.
Jiang Qing couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry. If that day ever comes, theyâll have to pass your test first. If you don’t agree, no one is entering the house.”
“Then… can you…”
Jiang Limu opened his mouth, the words ‘Can you just not date anyone?’ almost bursting out.
He suddenly realized how unreasonable and obsessively pathetic that request sounded.
He couldn’t use his own dependency and insecurity to hijack the life of the person he loved most. His brother deserved his own happiness, a partner who could truly make him relax, even if that person… wasn’t him.
“Can you…” Jiang Limu sniffled, his voice muffled. “…Can you like me the most?”
Jiang Qing was startled. He pulled the car over and reached out to gently wipe away the tear tracks on Jiang Limu’s face.
“Mm,” he replied softly. “I like you.”
It was fine as long as he didn’t say it, but the moment the words left his mouth, Jiang Limu felt his tears spiral completely out of control.
Why was he such a crybaby?
Why did he love him so much?
Back in high school, someone had asked Jiang Limu if he planned to date anyone.
At the time, his classmates were excitedly discussing innocent crushes and awkward dates; the air was practically filled with pink bubbles. Suddenly faced with that question, Jiang Limuâs mind went blank for a moment.
Dating? That would mean another person would occupy a significant portion of his time and energy.
But his time, energy, and attention… shouldn’t all of that be reserved for Jiang Qing?
If he dated, he would be distracted. He would need time for dates, to maintain another relationship, and to care about another person’s emotions. That would mean less time for Jiang Qing.
When Jiang Qing came home late at night, he might be on the phone with a lover. On Jiang Qingâs rare days off, he might have planned a trip with a lover. When Jiang Qing was in a bad mood and needed company, he might be so immersed in the sweetness of romance that he wouldn’t notice…
Just thinking about those “possibilities” gave Jiang Limu a suffocating sense of anxiety.
He couldn’t accept it, and he would never allow it.
He wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to take away the time he should spend looking at Jiang Qing, taking care of Jiang Qing, and accompanying Jiang Qing.
Jiang Qing was the center of his world, the sole origin of all his emotions and actions. His moods, his rhythm of life, and even his future plans revolved around Jiang Qing.
For the sake of Jiang Qing saying “I want breakfast from XX,” he would wake up two hours early and drive across half the city to buy it.
Because of a slight frown Jiang Qing made after a business dinner, he would spend time researching hangover cures and stomach-soothing recipes, clumsily experimenting until he made something his brother would actually drink.
His phone was filled with notes on Jiang Qingâs likes and dislikes, down to the exact temperature of his coffee, which dry cleaner he preferred, and even the flavor of milk tea he craved when the weather changed.
In his future planning, “Gege” was always the primary variable. He had even secretly thought that if he ever married his brotherâthough that possibility seemed almost non-existent to him.
It would be a miracle if the other person didn’t beat him to death.
He might even earn the title of a male mistress. (note: I am unsure of the translation of this sentence. There’s an unclear/redacted part of it in the raw. I had to deduce based on the sentence and context. It can also be “homewrecker” “brother complex”)
He enjoyed this feeling and found security in it.
So, when the option of “dating” appeared and threatened this brother-centric survival mode, he felt a resistance that was almost instinctual.
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