Chapter 5: Killing Three Birds with One Stone
The night breeze blew gently, and silence reigned supreme. Under the silvery-white moonlight, only vague silhouettes could be made out, and the inability to see faces clearly made the surroundings feel inexplicably eerie.
Chi Wu coiled the cord of the hairdryer and said, “Your hair is stiffer than mine.”
“Of course it is, you’ve been a picky eater since you were a kid.” Zhang Chulan clicked his tongue, sounding a bit smug. “Otherwise, why would I be taller than you?”
“Just by one centimeter.”
“One centimeter is a massive chasm. One centimeter rounded up is basically two centimeters.”
Zhang Chulan pressed his advantage. “A miss is as good as a mile. Wubao, don’t be a sore loser.”
Sensing the smugness in Zhang Chulan’s tone, Chi Wu stopped talking.
Although he didn’t understand what Zhang Chulan was so proud of regarding that single centimeter of height, it was rare for the other guy to care about something so specific.
I’ll let him have this, he thought.
Chi Wu often felt that he tolerated a lot from this knucklehead, but he remembered Grandma Liu’s dying wish.
“That kid Zhang Chulan is a master of disguise. He was born with stiff, spiky hair but deliberately grew it long and tied it in a ponytail to soften his look. Even his hair strands are shrewd. Stick close to him. I think not only can he hide himself well, but he can also hide you.”
Chi Wu couldn’t deny that it was because of Zhang Chulan that he had reconnected with the world. At least now, no one called him a freak…
Zhang Chulan, who had been talking big, noticed Chi Wu’s response had gone quiet. His tone immediately softened, and he put his arm around Chi Wu’s shoulder with a hint of ingratiating fawning.
“Wubao, don’t take it to heart…” Zhang Chulan had just been teasing; honestly, what was the use of fighting over one centimeter?
He just didn’t want Chi Wu to worry about him.
“You’re still young, you’ll keep growing.”
“I’m still young?”
“Of course. How old are you, really? Nineteen is still considered an adolescent. Your bone plates don’t close until twenty-five. Maybe by then, you’ll shoot up taller than me.”
“You say that as if you aren’t nineteen too.” Chi Wu actually didn’t care that much about height, but seeing that Zhang Chulan seemed genuinely spooked tonight—and knowing deep down how much this guy cared about his grandfather—he shifted the topic.
“About Grandpa Zhang…”
“Wubao, let’s not talk about that. We’ll head back first thing tomorrow morning.”
Zhang Chulan pulled Chi Wu’s head closer to his side, his hand brushing against Chi Wu’s earlobe.
“It’s been twelve years, Wubao. I’ve long since moved on. Don’t worry about me.”
Chi Wu knew Zhang Chulan had moved on, but…
Wouldn’t anyone want to recover their grandfather’s stolen body?
However, the situation was bizarre, and Chi Wu hadn’t thought of a solution just yet.
“Aiyou.” Zhang Chulan’s hand slid down and thwack—he slapped the side of Chi Wu’s waist. His tone carried a subtle warning.
“I told you not to overthink it, so stop overthinking. This is my business, don’t go worrying blindly for my sake.”
If he really dropped his disguise for this, his old man would be the one furious with him. Right now, the goal was to survive one day at a time.
Chi Wu heard the subtext in Zhang Chulan’s tone and didn’t say anything more.
Outside the house, the chirping of crickets rose and fell continuously, occasionally punctuated by the jiu-jiu of birds.
“It’s way too hot…” Zhang Chulan muttered, using both his hands and feet to wrap around Chi Wu, who was facing away from him, like an octopus.
He had always felt that Chi Wu’s constitution was incredible—warm in winter and cool in summer, just like a walking air conditioner. This was another reason why Zhang Chulan, who was afraid of both the heat and the cold, loved getting close to Chi Wu.
It was truly killing three birds with one stone.
First, Chi Wu acted as a shield against all sorts of unwanted attention. The girls who loved shipping CP (couples) contributed a lot to this camouflage.
Second, Chi Wu’s body temperature was delightful.
And third, getting close to him increased his luck and cultivation.
“Aren’t you hot?” Chi Wu elbowed Zhang Chulan’s chest twice.
Zhang Chulan quickly retreated, his voice immediately taking on a pitiful quality.
“Wubao, you really hit me? Ouch, my heart hurts from your beating.”
“If it hurts, stay away.”
“No way.” Zhang Chulan quickly scooched back over to start a new round of clinging.
“I’m hugging you because I’m hot. I’m blocking the mosquitoes for you, isn’t that enough? Okay, okay, stop moving. Sleep, sleep.”
Chi Wu rolled his eyes and closed them.
Only after the breathing of the person in his arms evened out did Zhang Chulan let out a secret sigh.
The next day, just as the sky was turning a murky gray, Zhang Chulan took Chi Wu onto the 6:00 AM bus, leaving a letter for Uncle Song.
“You little brat, leaving just like that? You’re not handling your grandpa’s business?”
“How am I supposed to handle it? I’m just a regular college student. Besides, the whole thing is so weird. Uncle Song, you shouldn’t get involved either. You’ve been on the case so long and haven’t found anything anyway.”
Zhang Chulan looked out the window. After speaking, he ignored Uncle Song’s rambling about “duty” and “responsibility.”
“Blegh…”
“Puking again?” Zhang Chulan turned around to pat Chi Wu’s back, his mouth running non-stop as he did.
“Research shows that people who get carsick do so because they have an extra stabilizer in their brain, kind of like a bird. Wubao, you really have rotten luck.”
“Who researched that?”
“That old guy who plays chess at the park entrance every day. It’s one of his few patents that hasn’t been recognized yet.”
Seeing that he hadn’t amused the other, Zhang Chulan continued suggesting, “I heard you don’t get carsick if you’re the one driving. Wubao, go get your driver’s license when we get back.”
Chi Wu hadn’t eaten anything that morning, so all he threw up was clear bile. He fished a tissue out of his bag to wipe his mouth, then took the water Zhang Chulan handed him.
“Can’t afford it.”
“True that.” Zhang Chulan’s lips pressed into a line.
Their tuition was currently covered by generous donors, but they had to earn their own living expenses. Chi Wu constantly won scholarships, and both of them received financial aid every year, which made their lives feel less tight.
Because they pooled their money together, Zhang Chulan unknowingly benefited a lot from this arrangement.
Thinking of this, he couldn’t help but speak up, his tone carrying a regret he didn’t even realize.
“Wubao, if you were a girl, I’d definitely marry you.”
“Peh.” Chi Wu spat the rinse water into the trash bag. “Your brain’s gone mushy.”
Zhang Chulan wanted to say something else, but turning his head, he saw Chi Wu tilting his head back to drink water. He stared at the beautiful curve of his neck and that delicate Adam’s apple, and involuntarily gulp—swallowed his own saliva.
“You want some too?”
“I’m not thirsty.”
Chi Wu handed the bottle over anyway. “I didn’t touch my lips to it.”
“What are you babbling about? Even if you did touch your lips to it, I wouldn’t be disgusted by you.” Zhang Chulan clicked his tongue but took the water anyway.
Chi Wu hadn’t touched his lips to it, but Zhang Chulan put his lips right on the rim and took a gulp before handing the bottle back.
“…” A vein throbbed on Chi Wu’s forehead. “Why do you only buy one bottle every time?”
“One bottle is enough for both of us. Isn’t there water in the dispenser back at the dorm?”
“…You cheapskate.”
“This is called rational resource planning,” Zhang Chulan pouted, unbothered. “I’m thinking of our little treasury here.”
He paused, then added, “We can’t afford a car, but let’s go buy a motorcycle someday. Motorcycles are cool too.”
“No.” Chi Wu added, sounding almost apologetic for shooting down the suggestion, “Not safe.”
“Eh…” Zhang Chulan let out a long sigh. “Fine, fine, whatever you say.”
They had a class at ten o’clock the day they returned to school, so the two of them just gnawed on some bread for breakfast.
Zhang Chulan had planned to go back to the dorm and play corpse (sleep), but because Chi Wu insisted on attending the lecture, he could only tag along, looking dejected.
Unexpectedly, just as they sat down in the classroom, a familiar presence suddenly appeared next to them…
Chased all the way to the school?
Zhang Chulan’s heart trembled uncontrollably. His hand subconsciously grabbed Chi Wu’s wrist as he turned to look at the intruder.
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