Chapter 6: Wubao, Come Save Me Quick
Having barely slept the night before and surviving an arduous early morning trek involving difficult bus transfers, Zhang Chulan was now being confronted right at his doorstep. The power of the forces backing this Feng Baobao was easy enough to imagine.
Zhang Chulan had his mouth open to speak, but at Chi Wu’s questioning “Hm?”, he shut it abruptly. He absolutely could not drag Chi Wu into this mess.
“Eh—” Feng Baobao scanned the upright-sitting Zhang Chulan, stared at the hand he was gripping, and asked with genuine confusion, “Do you need to hold hands during class too?”
Whoosh. Zhang Chulan let go instantly. It had just been a subconscious reaction. His voice lacked confidence as he retorted, “Are you a moron? Of course not.”
His jumpy behavior made Chi Wu, who was diligently listening to the lecture, raise an eyebrow and lean forward slightly.
Suddenly, Feng Baobao pressed Zhang Chulan’s head onto the desk. She let out a surprised “Yi?” at Chi Wu, blinking her large, clear black-and-white eyes.
“I remember you. You’re Chi Wu. Last time I saw…”
“Sister Bao, you should let him go first.”
Chi Wu interrupted with a slight smile. “The teacher is looking over here. It’s not good to disturb the class.”
Feng Baobao let out an “Oh.” She actually listened, releasing her grip on Zhang Chulan. Her tone remained completely flat as she said, “But it’s also impolite for you to interrupt me.”
“You’re right. I’m very sorry. Can you forgive me?”
“Sure. I’m a very generous person.”
Zhang Chulan was forced to listen to an earful of dialogue that sounded remarkably like two NPCs conversing. When he looked up, he met the dissatisfied gaze of the teacher.
However, he didn’t plan to hold a grudge against Feng Baobao for the sudden physical assault right now.
How do Feng Baobao and Chi Wu know each other?
Zhang Chulan watched the teacher for a moment, then fished out his phone to text Chi Wu. But remembering that this model student never replied to messages during class, he wasn’t surprised to see Chi Wu still staring straight ahead.
Feeling stifled, he suddenly reached out and pinched the side of Chi Wu’s waist in retaliation.
Chi Wu hissed softly but still didn’t turn his head.
“What are you doing?”
“Why did you turn your head to talk to Feng Baobao just now, but you won’t turn for me? Is my face no longer attractive to you, Wubao?”
“Didn’t you say we shouldn’t turn our heads when whispering in class?”
Zhang Chulan once again found Chi Wu’s logic incredibly strange. He had said that, but Chi Wu’s compliance seemed to selectively target him alone.
It smacked of malicious compliance.
“What’s that? Zhang Chulan, why’d you say my name?” Feng Baobao turned to ask.
“Aiyou—” Zhang Chulan turned, wanting to say, Grandma, why are you adding to the chaos…
“That student. Yes, you. Stop looking around. Stand up and answer the question. I see you’re very busy socializing left and right.”
“…” Zhang Chulan stood up. He realized this wasn’t a multiple-choice question, which meant Chi Wu couldn’t help him.
He hadn’t listened to a lecture in ages. passing finals relied entirely on Chi Wu’s notes. His only goal was simply not to fail.
The teacher let Zhang Chulan hang there for a while before granting a merciful pardon.
“Sit down. If you’re in class, study properly. If you don’t want to learn, don’t disturb the other students.”
Zhang Chulan sat down with a stiff smile. In his heart, he felt more wronged than Dou E. Usually, he would have bantered with the teacher to smooth things over, but with the heavy weigh on his mind, he just wasn’t in the mood.
He barely endured until class ended, then immediately started making arrangements.
“Wubao, go eat by yourself. Take a good nap after lunch; you have an elective class this afternoon.”
“You guys aren’t eating?”
Feng Baobao looked left and right, remembering Xu San saying these two were like conjoined twins.
“I have something to discuss with Zhang Chulan alone. You want to listen too?”
“He’s not going.” Zhang Chulan overstepped and made the decision for Chi Wu. He waved at Chi Wu, then walked ahead, leading Feng Baobao toward the back mountain park.
The south side of the school bordered a hill, planted mostly with ginkgo trees. In this season, the ginkgo fruit was everywhere, and the smell was… quite distinct.
Basically, no one came here.
Zhang Chulan circled the area to confirm they were truly alone, then relaxed into a playful grin.
“Sis, what exactly do you want to do?”
“Use the moves you used to escape last night again,” Feng Baobao said.
“What moves? I just ran an eight-hundred-meter dash.”
“Is that so?” A knife slid out of Feng Baobao’s sleeve.
Zhang Chulan cursed, “Damn! You crazy woman, do you have a bump on your head? Carrying a controlled weapon is illegal!”
“Stop playing dumb. You can’t fool me.”
“How am I fooling you? I’m just an ordinary guy. I haven’t even settled the score with you for digging up my grandpa’s grave yet.”
“I didn’t dig it.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Feng Baobao charged at Zhang Chulan.
“Seriously, can’t you just let me live in peace?” Zhang Chulan stood his ground, his expression shifting unpredictably. “The Golden Light Mantra…”
Smack.
Bang.
Clang.
“Hey, Sis, Sis… we’re all family here!”
“Why is your memory so bad? Didn’t I tell you? My ID is fake.”
Feng Baobao stepped on Zhang Chulan’s shoulder. “From now on, you are my slave.”
Zhang Chulan howled twice.
“Sis, what era are you living in? This is New China! There’s no such thing as slaves anymore. We are all children of the Party, everyone is equal!”
“That actually makes sense.” Feng Baobao tilted her head, seemingly stuck in a dilemma.
“But Xu San said the people I find are mine to deal with…”
Zhang Chulan took advantage of her distraction to flee instantly. But he hadn’t made it three meters before all the clothes on his body shattered.
Fortunately, in the nick of time, he crouched down, grabbing a piece of flying scrap cloth to cover his butt and preserve his last shred of dignity. He turned back, trembling.
“Ancestor, what on earth are you trying to do?”
He hadn’t expected this crazy woman to be so strong. He didn’t know how his Yang Five Thunders would fare against her, but she didn’t seem to have any killing intent.
“Oh, your brother is…”
“Holy crap!” Zhang Chulan was horrified.
This crazy woman can see it?
Didn’t I cover it?
Does she have X-ray vision?
“I’m busy, going back to eat.” Feng Baobao tossed him a phone. “Remember to be available on call from now on.”
“Why should I?”
“Your classmates don’t know that you can’t even do… that thing, right?”
“This is my chastity! Do you understand chastity? Chastity is a man’s best dowry!”
“Is it?” Feng Baobao rested her left hand on her chin, looking thoughtful. “Then let me help you advertise your chastity.”
“Ancestor, Ancestor, I was wrong.”
Zhang Chulan immediately folded. “I’ll listen to you from now on. If you say go East, I won’t dare go West. If you tell me to fly to the heavens, I definitely won’t go catch turtles in the ocean.”
Feng Baobao let out an “Mn,” turned, and left, leaving Zhang Chulan wailing behind her.
“Feng Baobao! Screw your grandpa, your uncle, your grand-uncle, and your second uncle’s leg!”
He fished out his phone and messaged Chi Wu, but then remembered Chi Wu was still in class and probably wouldn’t look at it.
accompanied by the crunch, crunch of footsteps, a coquettish, complaining female voice drifted over.
“Aiyou, it stinks to high heaven here. Why did we have to meet here?”
“No one comes here. Didn’t you say you wanted a secret romance? This is the safest place.”
When the two sets of footsteps got close, Zhang Chulan whooshed up a tree. After feeding the mosquitoes for several hours, he realized that for some people, love really could replace food and water.
Seeing that Chi Wu still hadn’t replied, Zhang Chulan steeled his heart and flew straight out.
Snap.
“Holy shit, why is there a naked flying man?” the girl cried out, her voice laced with terror.
Only after running out of the back mountain did Zhang Chulan realize the biggest problem: the school was covered in surveillance cameras, and there were teachers on duty in the monitoring room. If Chi Wu didn’t come to save him now, he was truly done for.
He grabbed his phone and called Chi Wu. It wasn’t until the third call that it was picked up. His voice carried a reliance he wasn’t even aware of.
“Wubao, woo… Wubao, come save me quick.”
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