Chapter 26: Trying
Bo Yan slowly loosened his arms around Bai Qi and took a step back, putting some distance between them. His voice was strained and hoarse. “Will this do?”
His long eyelashes drooped, casting shadows over his eyes. Even in his dejected state, he was trying his best to soothe Bai Qi. “I won’t touch you from now on. We can treat each other with formal respect, just like you and Lin Feng did.”
“I can hold back.”
The weight on Bai Qi’s body suddenly lifted, and that warm embrace moved away from him.
With his slender body no longer restrained, he should have felt relieved. Yet, as Bai Qi looked down at his own feet, his heart felt empty and hollow.
It felt… wrong to be this distant.
It was hard to imagine making Bo Yan act as polite and distant as Lin Feng—to have to keep a gap between them even when walking side by side.
In the past, he had always believed that maintaining boundaries with a boyfriend was important, that only through independence could there be peace of mind. But now that he had truly pushed him away, he felt uneasy instead.
He realized he didn’t actually reject physical contact with Bo Yan. Aside from those shameful acting rehearsals he didn’t dare recall, the other hugs and touches had been very warm.
Bai Qi wanted to tell Bo Yan that holding hands or hugging was actually fine. But when he looked up, he saw the endurance and restraint suppressed deep within Bo Yan’s eyes.
A wave of intense guilt washed over him.
Bo Yan was willing to do so much for him. A person who loved physical contact so much was willing to endure a lifetime of abstinence for his sake—couldn’t he compromise even a little bit? After all, he had survived those rehearsals before, and he hadn’t hated it.
Moved by emotion and stung by guilt, his heart throbbed with a dull, sour ache.
Bo Yan wouldn’t say it, but he must be incredibly disappointed inside.
Bai Qi couldn’t bear it any longer. He rushed forward and threw himself into Bo Yan’s arms. The familiar body heat and scent filled his nose once again, and his wildly beating heart gradually settled.
Bo Yan’s body went rigid instantly. He looked down at him in disbelief.
Bai Qi wrapped both arms tightly around Bo Yan’s waist, burying his face in his chest. “You don’t have to hold back. I can try to adapt to your touch.”
His voice trembled slightly. “Even if it tickles a little, it doesn’t matter.”
He closed his eyes, his beautiful face flushed red. He was cautiously handing himself over to Bo Yan, his words sounding almost like the most ambiguous of invitations.
He thought Bo Yan would be happy, relieved even. But as soon as Bai Qi finished speaking, his soft belly trembled—he felt Bo Yan suddenly snap his head up.
Th-this…
Bai Qi instantly felt an intense sense of aggression washing over him. Scared, he immediately opened his eyes and stammered anxiously, “J-just for one month, okay? Let’s try dating for a month first. If it doesn’t work out, we can go back to being friends, okay?”
He was afraid Bo Yan would be sad, but he was also genuinely terrified of the hard reaction pressing against him.
One month, no more. He was really too scared—how could anyone think about that kind of thing at a time like this?
Maybe during this time, Bo Yan would realize they weren’t suitable and initiate a breakup himself.
Above him, the ecstasy and terrifying desire in Bo Yan’s eyes could no longer be controlled. He agreed almost instantly, hugging the naive boy in his arms so tightly he would never let go.
“Okay, I promise.”
Bai Qi finally let out a sigh of relief. Trying his best to ignore the imposing presence against his body, he nodded, his face burning crimson.
Phew, finally turned the page on that.
Now that they were dating, they should be able to return to their previous way of getting along. Even if there was some intimate contact, he could endure it. After all, the hardest part—the acting practice—was already behind them.
He was just about to ask what to eat for dinner when Bo Yan naturally stuffed a card into his pocket and asked softly, “Qi Qi, when should we move your mother into the new house?”
Huh?
Bai Qi was completely stunned. He hurriedly fumbled to take the card out. “You don’t need to give me money, and my mom doesn’t need to move in.”
It was just a one-month trial; how could he accept Bo Yan’s money?
Bo Yan frowned, his expression turning stern. He spoke as if it were a matter of course, “This is what I should do. I bought the villa a long time ago, and it was renovated according to your mother’s preferences. The money in this card is just pocket change; we’ll handle the significant assets after we finish filming the variety show.”
Hearing that he intended to give even more, Bai Qi regretted his words instantly. He shook his head like a rattle drum, wishing he could travel back in time and stop himself from saying anything about their backgrounds not matching.
He started babbling nonsense in his panic, “No need, really! I suddenly realized that having mismatched backgrounds is actually pretty good. I like interacting like this.”
Bo Yan nodded in agreement. “Fair enough. You keep the money, and I’ll donate my share. That way, we’ll be mismatched again.”
Saying that, he reached for his phone to make the call. Shocked, Bai Qi hurriedly stopped him, gripping Bo Yan’s arm in helplessness, his head spinning with anxiety.
What do I do? Why is Bo Yan so stubborn? Who gives away money like this right at the start of a relationship? Is he not afraid I’ll take the money and run?
He pursed his red lips repeatedly, moistening them until they were a vivid crimson. He thought for a long time but couldn’t come up with a good solution—he certainly couldn’t let Bo Yan donate everything.
Finally, Bai Qi nodded, feeling incredibly embarrassed. “Then I’ll hold onto it for now, and return it to you later.”
He would just keep the money safe for Bo Yan; he wouldn’t spend it. As for his mother moving into the villa… letting her experience it for a month might be nice. It would be good for her recovery, and she had always dreamed of living in a big house. Their old house was indeed too dilapidated.
Bo Yan smiled, making no comment on the last part of his sentence.
His long fingers placed the card back into Bai Qi’s hand, and then he took out Bai Qi’s phone. “Let’s bind it now.”
Bai Qi hadn’t expected Bo Yan to think of even this.
Afraid Bo Yan would bring up donating again, Bai Qi braved Bo Yan’s intense gaze and bit the bullet, adding the card.
He had intended to just bind it and not use it, but Bo Yan insisted he unbind his original card. Now, the only channel Bai Qi had to spend money was this one.
Although it was awkward, and he didn’t know what to do, as he gently held the phone, an uncontrollable wave of emotion welled up in his heart.
He knew Bo Yan was doing this for his own good—having money meant feeling secure.
Naive as Bai Qi was, he couldn’t remain unmoved by such unreserved love.
His translucent amber eyes looked at Bo Yan, gradually filling with mist. Bai Qi couldn’t help but whisper a thank you.
Bo Yan shook his head. “This is what a boyfriend is supposed to do.”
Pulling the petite boy into his arms, Bo Yan buried his forehead in Bai Qi’s shoulder and neck, taking a deep breath.
Only when his nose was filled with the sweet fragrance unique to Bai Qi did Bo Yan finally feel a sense of reality.
The person he had yearned for through countless days and nights finally belonged to him, temporarily.
He would not let go.
His heart pounded wildly in his chest, every cell in his body screaming with excitement.
Bai Qi fully felt Bo Yan’s joy.
His soft belly was poked until it caved in slightly, trembling more and more. He was so ashamed he could almost barely stand.
The terrifying memories of that night resurfaced in his mind. For a moment, Bai Qi felt that treating each other with formal respect might not have been so bad—at least he wouldn’t have to face something this scary.
Fortunately, Bo Yan didn’t push him further. He released Bai Qi and prepared to head to the bathroom. “Don’t be scared. I’m going to take a cold shower.”
They had to film the variety show tomorrow; he couldn’t let Bai Qi get tired today.
However, hearing the words “cold shower,” Bai Qi’s heart instantly softened. It was overcast outside, and the night was a bit chilly; taking a cold shower now would definitely be uncomfortable.
He had agreed not to let Bo Yan endure anymore, yet the moment they started dating, he was making him suffer.
Bai Qi timidly tugged at the hem of Bo Yan’s shirt. He looked up with petal-like eyes and asked hesitantly, “Let me help you.”
He was like a green, unripened flower bud actively revealing its sweet stamen, trembling as it opened its petals to be picked—obedient beyond measure.
As if struck by a thunderbolt, the string of rationality in Bo Yan’s mind snapped completely. He could endure no longer.
With a startled cry, Bai Qi was pressed onto Bo Yan’s soft chair. In the chaos, he only managed to turn off the lights.
It was completely different from what he imagined—that only his hands would be needed. Rustling sounds filled the dim room. Bai Qi covered his face in embarrassment as his shoes and socks were peeled off and tossed aside. His white, tender toes curled involuntarily, the nails glowing pink.
His sweatpants were gradually rolled up by a pair of pale, slender hands.
In the dim light, a patch of snow-white skin was revealed—soft leg flesh, beautiful as a work of art, resting in hard finger bones.
Heavy breathing, wrapped in the most primitive desire, echoed through the dormitory.
Bo Yan’s handsome face was filled with obsession. His Adam’s apple rolled as he gently kissed Bai Qi’s forehead hair. Despite his gentleness, his lean, powerful waist was taut, bullying that patch of tender skin like a sharp blade.
A torturous ambiguity entangled the two of them, blending gentleness with aggression. Bai Qi felt like his face was going to explode from the heat.
In the darkness, his slender body seemed to be pinned down by a wild giant wolf. Bai Qi covered his face, the top of his head tingling, almost melting under Bo Yan’s patient kisses.
Sounds that would make anyone blush and heart race faintly drifted through the room.
Bai Qi’s head was spinning. But when he accidentally opened his eyes, his heart suddenly skipped a beat.
Bo Yan at this moment was more terrifying than ever before.
He had always been afraid of such large, adult male bodies. Even if it was someone he trusted, once they displayed such terrifying strength and aggression, he instinctively became timid.
Images of being abused by his drunk father as a child uncontrollably surfaced in his mind. His mother’s crying seemed to echo in his ears again.
Bai Qi immediately squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to force himself to relax.
Just endure it for a bit and it will be over.
I must satisfy Bo Yan this month. That’s the only way to repay him.
Seeming to sense Bai Qi’s strangeness, Bo Yan stopped his movements and asked hoarsely, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Afraid of ruining Bo Yan’s mood, Bai Qi endured the shame and leaned up to kiss his cheek.
Feeling the soft lips on his face, Bo Yan’s handsome features instantly filled with infatuation, seemingly casting all else aside.
The night became incredibly long.
When it finally ended, Bai Qi’s calves felt numb and swollen as he lay limply in Bo Yan’s chair.
Bo Yan sat opposite him, massaging his calves with infinite patience. His large hands constantly rubbed the smooth white flesh with a pressure that was neither too light nor too heavy. At first, it was very ticklish, but gradually, the palms grew hotter, and the massage felt warm and comfortable.
He had gone through too much that day. Being treated so gently, combined with how comfortable Bo Yan’s chair was, Bai Qi unknowingly dozed off for a while.
When he opened his eyes again, he was woken by a message notification.
Bai Qi’s head was still groggy. Subconsciously, he looked for Bo Yan first. Hearing the sound of running water and seeing him showering in the bathroom, he relaxed a little and checked WeChat.
It was actually from his mother. She asked, very embarrassed, if he had any spare money. His cousin’s family was in trouble recently and needed money desperately; she hoped they could repay a larger portion of their debt.
In an instant, he was pulled from his sweet dream back to reality.
Bai Qi rubbed his face in distress. Forgetting that he had bound the new card, he instinctively transferred the only two thousand yuan remaining in his account.
However, the family debt was huge; this money certainly wasn’t enough. He didn’t know when the payment from the variety show would arrive—he hoped it would be soon.
Bai Qi started to panic. Just as he was about to tell his mother to give him a few days to raise money, his phone suddenly received a bank payment SMS notification.
The dense string of zeros in the balance made his scalp tingle.
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