Chapter 25: I am Mu Jia Shu. part 1
Wei Xun suddenly fell silent, and the entire room was plunged into a suffocating stillness. After a long while, he spoke slowly, “What did you just call me?”
Mu Jia Shu said, “San Ge, I am Mu Jia Shu.”
After a momentary daze, Wei Xun suddenly stood up and lunged forward, grabbing his shoulders. Their eyes met, and in the moonlight reflected in his eyes, expectation, shock, ecstasy, and sorrow… all sorts of emotions were clearly mirrored.
“I’m not… dreaming again, am I?”
Mu Jia Shu’s fingers also trembled imperceptibly. He slowly pressed his hand onto the back of Wei Xun’s hand and patiently repeated for the third time: “San Ge, I am Mu Jia Shu. I know the code to this apartment is your birth year and my birth date added together. I know you should drink some milk after a hangover. I know that if you go out from here and cross two more streets, that’s where we went to high school. There’s a Malatang shop next to the school; you took me there when we were in elementary school… Do you, do you believe me…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Wei Xun had already pulled him into a tight embrace. One of his hands covered Mu Jia Shu’s back, while the other pressed the back of his head firmly into his chest, as if he wanted to embed him entirely into his own body.
Wei Xun held him tightly, murmuring, “Even if you’re a ghost come to take me away, I’ll accept it…”
Mu Jia Shu was held so tightly he couldn’t even struggle free. He could only lean against his shoulder and say helplessly, “San Ge, I’m sorry, but I’m actually a human.”
Wei Xun acted as if he hadn’t heard, holding him motionlessly for a while longer. Suddenly, he pushed Mu Jia Shu away and glared at him fiercely: “You were by my side for so long before this, why didn’t you tell me, huh?! Mu Jia Shu, you actually fucking dared to lie to me!”
Mu Jia Shu looked at him and said nothing.
He had been like this since childhood—appearing soft and seemingly without a temper, but actually full of mischief.
Every time he made a mistake and made someone angry, he never knew how to explain himself. He would just stare at you with those pitch-black eyes, looking as innocent as could be.
Wei Xun continued to roar, “How have you even been living all this time! Eating that crap every day? Is your illness cured? You even came out to be a bodyguard… You’re really something, what kind of damn bodyguard are you! If you’re short on money, ask me! Hey, I’m asking you, how is your body now? Is it really okay to wear so little?!”
Mu Jia Shu: “…”
After everything, after hiding it from Wei Xun for so long, the only blame he received was that first sentence. This made Mu Jia Shu suddenly feel that compared to Wei Xun, he was a very petty person.
So many worries and concerns were actually unnecessary. After all the calculations, things like rationality and worldliness seemed so ridiculous in the face of true emotion.
During this period, he had pondered and deliberated, stepping back out into a new life by crawling and scrambling. He had constantly forced himself to draw a line with the past, yet when he suddenly looked back, he found that the person from his old life was still the same.
Mu Jia Shu wanted to laugh, but as he opened his mouth, unexpectedly and abruptly, his eyes reddened slightly.
He took a deep breath: “San Ge…”
Wei Xun’s heart felt as if it were melting at that call. He wanted to speak but nearly broke his voice. His fists clenched at his sides, and after a long time, he spoke softly, “I was asking you a question just now.”
Mu Jia Shu’s voice was somewhat hoarse: “The body is very good now. Aside from a bit of a cigarette addiction, all the problems are gone.”
He added, “I’m sorry.”
“Since you know you were wrong, why didn’t you tell me sooner, huh?”
Wei Xun finally couldn’t suppress the tremor in his voice. Sorrow and joy were intertwined; for a moment, the sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy flavors of life all rushed to his heart. “You brat… you didn’t want to recognize me? Do you even have a conscience anymore?”
Mu Jia Shu said in a low voice, “It wasn’t like that.”
He gritted his teeth hard and took Wei Xun’s hand: “San Ge, it wasn’t like that. I… I wanted to recognize you. Every day I was thinking about whether I should tell you everything, how I should say it to you…”
Wei Xun’s nose felt sore: “But you didn’t say it for so long.”
Mu Jia Shu said, “I…”
Wei Xun murmured, “You clearly knew how much I missed you, yet you didn’t tell me…”
Mu Jia Shu was momentarily speechless, having nothing to say. Finally, he gave a bitter smile: “…Yeah.”
His expression was both helpless and sad. He slowly let go of Wei Xun’s hand, but Wei Xun suddenly pulled him back into his arms.
Mu Jia Shu leaned against Wei Xun’s shoulder, and in the darkness, he quickly raised his hand to wipe away a trail of moisture from his face: “Everything is my fault… whenever I can’t sleep at night, I always think of you all. I wanted to say everything, but I couldn’t overcome the hesitation and suspicion in my heart. I’ve always liked to weigh things repeatedly and balance the pros and cons no matter what I encountered, but I never expected you would be like this…”
No matter how nonchalant he appeared on the surface, some shadows in his heart were difficult to erase. The pain of life gradually fading at the moment of death was so clear that he often woke up in the night from dreams of the past.
After waking up, the surroundings were unfamiliar, and the face in the mirror was also unfamiliar. Standing inside someone else’s body, he examined himself seriously, but he couldn’t see anything clearly.
Mu Jia Shu was somewhat unwilling to admit it, but perhaps all his previous hesitation and delay actually stemmed from the weakness in his heart.
However, from the moment he decided to recognize Wei Xun, it meant he had to stand up again and face everything from the past. If many things were ultimately unavoidable, then he would no longer back down.
Mu Jia Shu’s expression gradually turned cold. The recognition between brothers only brought him a momentary loss of composure, and calmness and restraint reclaimed his mind.
Unsure if he sensed Mu Jia Shu’s mood, Wei Xun suddenly let go of him in the darkness, his hands reaching for his face.
After several years in the military, Wei Xun’s fingers were somewhat rough, but his movements were very light, gently stroking his brow, temples, bridge of his nose, and cheeks…
Mu Jia Shu’s cold expression turned into one of bewilderment.
Wei Xun cupped his face and said softly, “In my heart, there is no difference at all between you and how you used to look.”
He gazed at him in the darkness, tear stains still on his face, and gave a faint smile: “I don’t blame you. It’s my fault for not protecting you well. Let’s not mention this anymore.”
Mu Jia Shu froze for a while, then let out a breath: “Alright, let’s not mention it!”
Wei Xun smiled, his fingers lingering as they rubbed a few times before reluctantly letting go. He rubbed his own eyes: “I’m going to wash my face.”
Mu Jia Shu scanned the other houses in the residential area through the gap in the curtains and found that at this time, orange lights were already dotting the windows of many homes: “It seems the power is back on. I’ll turn on the light for you.”
Wei Xun gave a start and hurriedly said, “No!”
Mu Jia Shu let out an inquisitive sound: “Hmm?”
Wei Xun opened his mouth and only spoke after a long while, “That, I’m afraid of the light. Let me adapt to it first.”
The two of them stood facing each other, able to recognize each other’s silhouettes only by the faint moonlight filtering through the curtains. This feeling was very strange.
Mu Jia Shu said, “San Ge, I’m serious, are you really okay? It’s not… that, truly some kind of mental… issue, is it?”
“Tch! What are you thinking!” Wei Xun glared at him and lightly nudged Mu Jia Shu’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you could say that.”
Mu Jia Shu muttered, “I don’t think your nerves are that delicate.”
“Wait…” Wei Xun said, “What did you mean just now? ‘Truly some kind of mental issue’… So all that stuff you said earlier about the doctor suggesting I go to the psychiatric department and whatever—you were lying to me?”
Mu Jia Shu said, “…So you actually believed it?”
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