Chapter 29: Four Simps
[Breaking: Black clarifies on the spot that he is NOT impotent!]
[What the heck? Is this a requirement for pro players now? What if someone actually is? Do they have to go public?]
[Wait, it’s reached this level already??]
The video was a clip edited by fans from Chu Yang’s livestream. Clicking into the comments—
[God, I came here to see the “Edgelord” get embarrassed, not to watch the Romance Channel, thank you very much.]
[Fine, fine, fine. You four are officially the Four Simps.]
[I have to say, little straight men really are popular. But this is my first time seeing an entire team stick to one person. What kind of stunt is this?? Is the whole team gay?]
[The match was so twisted. That Support really only protected Chu Yang and didn’t care if the Marksman lived or died. I died laughing watching the Marksman get pulverized by the enemy duo.]
[This team doesn’t need to play this season. Reason: Internal discord due to Chu Yang; diagnosed as love rivals.]
[What a “relationship of simps.” What a “Rich Beauty.” What a “Support follows Chu Yang,” while the other one becomes the “Impotent Man.”]
[The Impotent Man should be kicked off the team. Useless trash! How could he ever give my wifey happiness?]
[LMAO, the funny part isn’t that his teammates slandered him, it’s the way he hurried to explain himself to wifey, hahaha!]
[Yes! And thinking about it, it feels like the teammates are purely trying to block him from “ascending the throne.”]
[It wasn’t in vain that I lurked in that idiot Black’s room for so long after he forgot to switch accounts. I finally got to see what I love to see, hee-hee.]
[I never expected the teammates to be dragged into this too. Even better, these three are also simps.]
[This is so satisfying. The enemy team was killed so many times by my Hubby Yang that they tilted.]
[It gets even funnier later. Both top and bottom lanes let him go over and take their farm. Where’s that “Don’t steal my gold” attitude now?]
[I don’t even understand the game; I’m just here to appreciate my wifey’s beauty. A smile means a kill! A smile means a kill! A raised eyebrow means he’s stealing someone else’s resources. That “I deserve this” expression… I love it so much. Hubby, I want to offer everything to you.]
[From here—to—here! It all belongs to my Hubby Yang. Hubby Yang eats wherever he goes. You guys are just slaves, you know?]
[Watching wifey in his pajamas and a cold face training his dogs… I love it too much. Baby Yang, please cross your legs; I want to see something else.]
[Wifey, you really are a Rich Beauty.]
[Black, that dead ghost, didn’t even bother to grind his streaming hours today. Turns out he ran off to be a simp for a straight man. You really have some nerve (Smile).]
Under the conditions of a complete stomp, the match ended very quickly. The Marksman finally escaped his “prison” and began rotating with the main group to secure kills. The enemy was dying almost as soon as they stepped out of the fountain, and the enemy “Mad Dog” was still cursing out his teammates for not surrendering.
A second before the Nexus exploded, Black cleared his throat and asked, “Want to keep playing?”
Chu Yang: “Let’s keep going.”
While waiting for the post-match summary, he glanced at the chat. The fans, who had been busy “licking the screen,” immediately began to wail when they saw Chu Yang looking.
[Baby, they are trying to seduce you, baby! Don’t be fooled by their honeyed words and gaming skills. It’s just that they haven’t seen a girl in too long—wait, no—they haven’t seen someone this beautiful.]
[These simp comments are even bolder than mine. At the very least, I’m separated by an internet cable and haven’t met wifey, but these guys are saying this while on mic with him.]
[Wifey, I’m telling you, I won’t allow you to be with these people who dropped out of school to play games. It’ll affect the baby’s IQ.]
[Hubby, it’s over. They’ve tangled themselves around you. You can’t drive them away now.]
[This is my husband! You aren’t allowed to steal him!]
[Hubby, just take these dogs in. I want to watch this soap opera every day.]
Chu Yang’s brow furrowed slightly. He used his finger to scroll up and found that most comments were about Black’s team simping for him.
His slender finger tapped the screen, and he pursed his lips. “Don’t talk nonsense. We’re all just joking around.”
He looked a bit displeased.
Everyone instinctively began to coax him—
[Yes, yes, yes. Baby Yang is straight. They’re just talking trash! We must protect our Hubby Yang’s straight status.]
[Little straight man, you’re so bad.]
[In an instant, four dogs have been stripped of their simp status.]
[Black, it’s not that we don’t want you to succeed, it’s that wifey won’t allow it. Unfortunately, wifey doesn’t need to be carried by you.]
[The four of you are so trash. Go practice more.]
[Our hubby won’t acknowledge you, so there’s nothing you can do. Go back to being concubines and keep practicing.]
[Hurry up and go back to school! You can’t match a university student with someone who barely finished primary school. Don’t ruin our wifey’s family genes!]
[Clash-laner: I clearly accepted my simp status, and in a flash, it’s gone. Work harder, harder, and harder.]
[Hubby Yang, we’ll listen to you. We won’t let them simp for you anymore. Playing games with such high intensity every day must be draining. Maybe that impotence rumor is true. I don’t want you to take any risks…]
The four on the other side remained silent, pretending they didn’t see or hear anything. As long as they played dumb, they could be just as “thirsty” in the next match.
Only Black had a shred of dignity left.
Chu Yang picked the Mid lane as usual. As soon as the match started, the Marksman sent a message to [All]: [No one is allowed to hit my mid-laner. If you’re unhappy, come hit me.]
Chu Yang: “…”
The others also copied and pasted the exact same message…
Chu Yang: …This is getting really cringey…
The enemy replied as well— [Fine. We’re dedicated to killing the Mid this game.]
[Impressive. One girl bringing four simps. Today, this ‘gege’ is going to tell you that these four are unreliable.]
[Hee-hee-hee, Mid-lane, I’m coming for you.]
[Let’s give the enemy Mid a taste of ‘ascension through love’ this match. ^^]
Chu Yang could tell at a glance that the enemy was planning to target him. He wasn’t afraid. He kited until he hit level four, then gave the enemy a fake signal to make them think he was rotating to the bottom lane.
Then, he signaled his own bottom lane and circled around to camp in the top lane.
The Marksman in the bottom lane cooperatively stayed safe under the turret.
Chu Yang glanced over and said, “If they try to dive, you can give up the turret.”
Marksman: “Okay.”
The Clash-laner, seeing Chu Yang arriving, immediately went to provoke the enemy Clash-laner. With the Support’s help, Chu Yang successfully secured the first kill.
[First Blood!]
Enemy: [Good, good, good. That’s one more reason to kill the Mid. Just wait.]
[Have the guts to come to the jungle for a 1v1.]
Chu Yang: [No guts. Not going.]
The Marksman let out a snort of laughter. “How can a man say he has no guts?”
Chu Yang just found it boring. “The more you pay attention to him, the more he acts up.”
Black: “He really is an edgelord. I’ll go kill him a few times and he’ll pipe down.”
He paused. “Uh… I didn’t sound too much like an edgelord saying that, did I?”
Marksman: “Heh, edgelord to the max.”
Support: “That was a big one.”
Clash-laner: “…Chu Yang, don’t listen to Black’s posturing. If someone’s going to kill him, it has to be you to make it satisfying.”
Black gritted his teeth and said nothing, his face feeling a bit hot.
Chu Yang hadn’t been able to hold back a smile when Black asked if he sounded like an edgelord. Hearing the teammates’ comments, his smile grew even wider. He kept his eyes on his screen, focused on his mechanics, and said with a chuckle, “You aren’t posturing.”
He knew Black truly had that level of skill.
“Your teammates are actually quite fun to talk to.”
Hearing this, Black felt a bit better and seized the chance to gain some ground. “They just have foul mouths. They feel uncomfortable if they don’t needle someone a few times. They’re used to talking trash.”
Teammates: “???”
“It’s clearly you who postures too much.”
“Exactly. Xiao Yang, we aren’t usually like this. I’m being framed!”
“He’s just jealous that we know how to talk to make you happy.”
Chu Yang’s fingers paused for a moment. He shook his head. What does ‘make him happy’ even mean?
[I’m dying. These stinky dogs are drawing all the aggro to my wifey. Are they trying to play the ‘Hero saving the Beauty’ trope? Heh, unfortunately, my wifey is smooth enough to pull off solo kills without a problem.]
[I already said, the whole map belongs to my Hubby Yang. My hubby can conquer the enemy’s territory all by himself!]
[One girl with four simps, hee-hee… One girl with four simps, hee-hee… A fair-skinned, beautiful little sister. This is so satisfying…]
[Black’s team is doing too much. Don’t make things awkward for my wifey, ahhhh!]
[Hubby, how could you say you have no guts? I still want to have a sweet life with you. Nooo, you’re lying, right? T_T]
[Upstairs, stop acting. It doesn’t matter if hubby can’t give me happiness; I’ll give hubby happiness (Wicked grin) (Takes out props).]
[Actually, the whole team is posturing. Wifey might not see it, but I can! They’re all just trying to coax my wifey. Hey, is this all the skill you have when trying to pick up girls? No wonder you’re single.]
[I feel like wifey has become lazier lately. Wearing pajamas, head down with a soft, faint smile… sob. Truly my wife. I want to be Xiao Yang’s guardian spirit.]
Knock, knock—
The door was knocked. Chu Yang didn’t even look up. “What is it?”
Chu Yuanzhou pushed the door open, holding a tray with two cups of tea and some fruit.
“You came up to play games without even pouring yourself some water? Is the addiction that strong, or are you playing with someone special?”
Chu Yang originally wanted to mute his mic, but considering the stream was live, it felt unnecessary. He let it be. “There’s water in the mini-fridge.”
Chu Yuanzhou’s face didn’t enter the frame. He had also changed into loungewear. He placed the tray on the desk from the side and then pulled a book from Chu Yang’s small bookshelf to read.
He didn’t plan on leaving.
Everyone on the team knew someone had entered Chu Yang’s room, and they instinctively stopped talking.
However, the team’s internal communication continued, and the chat in the livestream room slowed for a moment before scrolling even faster.
[LMAO, Big Brother’s ‘Main Consort’ aura is so strong. As soon as he arrives, no one speaks. Why isn’t Xiao Yang saying anything either?]
[Legitimate Eldest Brother: Baby, don’t isolate Big Brother.]
Another match ended. The enemy team, who had been talking trash and begging Chu Yang to target them, had finally shut up after being disciplined.
Continuing the queue, Chu Yang drank some tea and looked at Chu Yuanzhou. “Can you even focus on reading while I’m playing games here?”
“I can. I’ve read this book before. Just passing the time.”
“Alright then.” Chu Yang massaged his neck and shoulders. “What’s for dinner?”
“What do you want to eat?” Chu Yuanzhou put down the book, walked over, and placed his hands on Chu Yang’s shoulders. He spread his large hands and pressed down on his neck and shoulders. “Does it hurt?”
“Spend less time in front of the computer.”
He massaged gently. While picking a hero, Chu Yang said, “I kind of want to eat lemon boneless chicken feet.”
Chu Yuanzhou’s hands paused. “You really know how to find work for me.”
“Weren’t you bored too?” Chu Yang gave an innocent smile and asked back, “Can I not eat them?”
“You can. I’ll make whatever you want. Play for one more hour, then we’ll go to the mall.” Chu Yuanzhou massaged him for a bit longer, then retreated to read his book once he saw Chu Yang starting the match.
[Big Brother is a laborer too. Such big hands, such a white neck. It’s red, it’s turning red! So erotic, ahhhh! Wifey, how can you not feel anything while someone’s touching your neck? Are you just used to being touched, or what? Tell me!]
[Wifey, you are a cold-blooded animal!]
[Such a virtuous Big Brother. I finally know why my baby is single. With this kind of all-around service from Big Brother, it must be intentional. How can my baby find anyone better if you’re like this??]
[Big Brother, just admit it. Are you doing this on purpose so baby can’t find a partner?]
[Hubby, I feel like you’ll never find a girlfriend in this life…]
[An hour later. Big Brother, are you unhappy that Xiao Yang isn’t accompanying you? Hubby hasn’t accompanied me in so long either, ahhhh! Don’t steal my hubby!]
[Boneless chicken feet… LMAO, don’t tell me Big Brother has to de-bone them himself. Wifey, you won’t make your husband de-thorn a durian shell in the future, will you? Hahahaha.]
[Even my mom doesn’t spoil me like this at home. Having someone hand you food and drinks while you play games is just too amazing.]
[I’m self-inserting. I’m fantasizing that I’m the one serving wifey like this.]
[I really want to be Xiao Yang Gege’s girlfriend. I’m fantasizing about going to an internet cafe with him and watching him play.]
[So satisfying. We guys who love internet cafes have always fantasized about going to one with a partner. Then the girlfriend would help us order food and top up the PC credit, while a few bystanders look on in envy.]
[Holy crap, Big Bro upstairs, what are you doing here? Don’t tell me you came here to look at my Hubby Yang just to fantasize about your own life! Get out!]
[This guy… he’d better be someone my hubby turned gay, or I’m really going to blast him.]
[Anyway, I’ve realized. Men like our Xiao Yang, women like our Xiao Yang, and then there’s a bunch of guys just being envious…]
[Hubby Yang: Life is as easy as a flick of the wrist.]
[Hubby Yang gives the middle finger, I give hubby a ring.]
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