Chapter 52: What Is There That I Cannot Endure?
Hearing his resolute refusal, Lu Huaishen froze. He instinctively raised an eyebrow, a flash of surprise crossing his face that was quickly suppressed. A mix of inexplicable emotions swirled in his eyes as he offered a rare, patient counsel.
“Mr. Jian, take my word for itâyou need this surgery. If this condition flares up, it isn’t something you can just grit your teeth and endure. It will leave you in agonizing pain. In severe cases, it leads to hemiplegia, aphasia, and mental impairment. Is that what you want to become?”
Jian An lowered his head, a profound sorrow hidden within his dim eyes. His hands were clenched so tightly that his nails bit into his palms, yet he felt no pain.
Whether from the sheer force of his grip or some other reason, his skeletal, exhausted body began to tremble slightly.
How could anyone want to become like that… It is only when one is truly powerless that they are forced to submit to fate.
He had researched his illness before and knew all too well that the success rate of the surgery was a mere ten percent. Decisively forgoing treatment to wait for death was better than losing both his life and his money.
After a long silence, Jian An spoke softly in a tone of weary acceptance.
“Forget it, Dr. Lu. You don’t need to persuade me; I know what I’m doing. Besides, this is late-stage cerebrovascular disease. It can’t be cured. Iâd rather have a bit of peace in the limited time I have left…”
In his many years as a doctor, Lu Huaishen had heard similar sentiments from countless terminal patients. His expression remained flat as he spoke.
“While it is late-stage, it isn’t as though there isn’t a shred of hope. As long as you actively cooperate with treatment, you might live for a few more years, or even longer.”
Jian An shook his head silently and looked at him. Pressing his pale lips together, he gave a helpless smile and asked softly:
“Dr. Lu, do you know of any medicine that can make my legs stand up in a short amount of time?”
At this question, a grave look flickered in Lu Huaishen’s dark pupils. His tone carried a hint of testing and astonishment. “Your legs…? Theyâre paralyzed?”
The other man gave a strained “Mhm.”
Lu Huaishen truly could not see through his thoughts. He rubbed his temples in a frustrated gesture and asked gloomily:
“No medicine is better or safer than recovering at a rehabilitation center. Why not go there?”
But the youth on the bed didn’t seem inclined to answer. He spoke directly: “Dr. Lu, just tell me if such a thing exists.”
“There is.”
The man’s affirmative reply caused a spark of hope to surge in Jian An’s heart, which had been like dead ashes these past few days.
Lu Huaishen saw the urgency in his eyes, but he remained composed where he stood. He picked up a medicine bottle from the table, turning it over in his hands as he spoke under the youth’s expectant gaze.
“However, it isn’t an oral medication. Itâs a new type of injection. A single shot into the thigh can rapidly restore the dead nerve cells of a paralyzed person, allowing the patient to regain mobility in a short time. But there is one drawback…”
Seeing him hesitate, Jian An’s face filled with anxiety. His heart thudded as an ill omen took root.
He propped himself up with his hands, shifting his body slightly. Fine beads of cold sweat broke out between his brows, and his pure, clear eyes filled with tension. His voice carried a distinct tremor.
“What drawback…?”
Lu Huaishen pushed up his glasses thoughtfully, his brows knitting slightly. Meeting Jian An’s gaze, he said in a deep voice:
“By injecting this drug, your legs will experience a violent, agonizing painâlike being flayed alive or having your tendons ripped out. This level of agony has surpassed the limits of human endurance.”
Hearing these severe words, Jian An realized that although he usually feared pain intensely, this time he felt no dread. Instead, he felt only a hollow numbness.
Drowning, car accidents, illnessesâhe had experienced them all. What pain could possibly be left that he could not endure?
“Mhm, it’s fine. As long as it makes me stand up in a short time… As someone who has walked back from the brink of death, what is there that I should fear or cannot endure…?”
Jian An blinked hard, forcing down the bitterness and acidity in his throat. He let out a self-deprecating smirk and asked, “How much… does it cost?”
Watching the youth’s desolate state, a ripple finally disturbed the calm pool of Lu Huaishen’s heart. He felt an inexplicable mix of pity and confusion.
He raised a hand to remove his glasses, wiped them gently with the corner of his lab coat, and put them back on. His expression turned solemn as he introduced the drug.
“This injection was recently imported from abroad, but so far, no one has tested it in domestic hospitals. If you are willing to be a volunteer ‘guinea pig,’ it will be provided for free.”
As soon as he finished, the gravity on Lu Huaishen’s face vanished, replaced by a look of regret as he immediately added:
“Let’s be clearâthis truly is the only method currently available to help you regain mobility quickly, but the risks are inevitably high. One slip-up and you could easily end up missing a limb. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Think it over carefully.”
Jian An closed his eyes heavily and then slowly opened them. There was no hesitation in his heart as he spoke with iron resolve.
“It’s fine. I don’t need to think it over. In situations like this, don’t I need to sign a volunteer agreement? Something to state that the hospital isn’t responsible if something goes wrong.”
“Ah, yes. There is indeed such a rule.”
Lu Huaishen nodded slightly, yet he was still struck by surprise. He took a small step forward and warned him once more:
“Mr. Jian, are you sure? It’s not too late to regret it. Don’t make a joke out of the only life you have.”
To his surprise, the other man turned a deaf ear to his warnings. Jian An showed no fear at the descriptions of a state worse than death. He said:
“Iâve made up my mind. I won’t have any regrets. Precisely because I only have one life, I must try. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in a wheelchair.”
For a moment, the youthâs eyes, which had looked like a pool of stagnant water, shimmered with determination and fearlessness. It had been many years since Lu Huaishen had seen such a look in a terminal patient. He was momentarily stunned into silence.
Jian An suddenly grabbed his arm and pleaded: “Dr. Lu, please help me. I really need this drug. I will repay this favor.”
“Alright, alright, just stay alive. I may be a doctor by profession, but I’m not that charitable. Besides, there’s no favor to repay here. This is an equal trade: you want to stand up again, and I want to see the drug’s effects.”
Lu Huaishen’s words were blunt, but his pronunciation was clear and orderly, tinged with a hint of professional interest.
He was a man who never hid his nature or his thoughts. Lu Huaishen felt he was a medical madman; his desire and exploration for medicine were boundless. In certain fields, he was extremely greedy and frenzied; as long as it was something he found interesting, he would pursue it regardless of the cost.
Hearing that the man was willing to help, Jian An finally let go of him. The thin mist clouding his eyes seemed to dissipate slightly, and his voice was thick with emotion.
“Mhm. But I still must thank you.”
He suddenly remembered something and added, “By the way, do not tell anyone about this. Especially…”
“Especially Ji Songting, right?”
Lu Huaishen anticipated his concern, but he couldn’t help but feel puzzled. “Why hide it from him? At the end of the day, he is still your legal husband. He has the right to know.”
Jian An suddenly didn’t know how to answer that question. His gaze turned vacant as he stared blankly at his legs.
They were indeed recognized as legal husbands, yet after three years of marriage, they were so estranged that it felt like they were merely roommates sharing a house. What did it matter if he knew or not?
After several seconds, he snapped out of his daze and nodded woodenly. “Forget it. Don’t tell him. My life or death isn’t that important to him anyway.”
“Tsk, Mr. Jian, you truly are a tragic soul~”
Lu Huaishen symbolically patted the wrinkles Jian An had left on his sleeve. “No need for thanks. I’ll head back and notify the hospital superiors first, then I’ll let you know the result.”
With that, he cast a glance at Jian An, who nodded in return. Lu Huaishen tilted his chin slightly, a frivolous smirk curling his lips as he turned and walked toward the door.
When Shen Yunheng arrived at the ward pushing a wheelchair, he happened to cross paths with Lu Huaishen coming out.
However, the other man feigned not seeing him, walking with a brisk pace as if he were in a great hurry.
Shen Yunheng’s brow furrowed, and his steps faltered.
Why was this man coming out of Jian An’s ward?
In his limited impressions, Lu Huaishen was quite close to Ji Songting; the two were friends.
“Iâll remember this debt.”
The words Ji Songting had spoken suddenly echoed in his mind.
Did Ji Songting, in an effort to take revenge for Shen Chuyan, order Lu Huaishen to do something to Jian An while he was away?!
Shen Yunheng was struck with horror. His calm face was instantly masked by fear. He didn’t even have time to push the wheelchair inside, leaving it abandoned at the doorway.
“Xiao An!”
The moment he rushed in, he saw Jian An sitting safely on the bed. His tightened heart relaxed slightly. He hurriedly checked the youth from head to toe, only letting out a breath of relief after confirming there were no injuries.
Seeing him in such a panic, Jian An knit his brows slightly. A faint light rippled in his cool eyes, and a gentle smile played on his lips as he asked:
“Yunheng, what’s wrong?”
Shen Yunheng gently let go of his shoulders, his worried gaze softening, yet his voice remained anxious.
“I just saw Lu Huaishen leaving your ward. Did he do anything out of line to you? Did Ji Songting send him here to bully you?”
Jian An immediately shook his head. His gaze flickered away, not quite daring to look him in the eye as he denied it.
“No, Dr. Lu isn’t what you think. He examined my body before. He just happened to pass my ward and came in to see how I was recovering.”
The man standing by the bed had a pensive look, a trace of confusion lingering on his profile. He looked back at the door and murmured:
“Is that so…? Did I misunderstand him?”
Jian An knew the man was worried about him and feared that if he continued to think about it, he would track down Lu Huaishen for answers. He glanced symbolically behind Shen Yunheng and quietly changed the subject.
“Yunheng, where is the wheelchair? Did you find it?”
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