【2】Is Your Mouth Made of Gold?
“Brother Yan, why aren’t you moving? I’ve clicked ‘Request Assembly’ until the button broke! We lost, we lost!” Zhao Dou, wearing headphones and immersed in the game, turned his head when he saw no movement from Jiang Yan. Only then did he realize that at some point, another boy had appeared.
Nestled in Jiang Yan’s arms, with arms still hugging Jiang Yan’s neck.
Looking down, he was sitting right on Brother Yan’s lap, fitted tightly together.
Zhao Dou, usually upright and a homebody, could never have imagined such scandalous behavior existed in the world. No wonder Brother Yan remained unmoved by the many girls pursuing him at school; it turned out he liked men.
Thinking about how he lived in the same dorm room with him, Zhao Dou broke out in a cold sweat.
Holy crap, that’s terrifying.
Wen Ran glanced at the petrified Zhao Dou and got up from Jiang Yan somewhat helplessly. His eyes darted around, afraid to look at him. Touching the back of his neck, he completely lost the flamboyant demeanor from before, looking like a kitten whose claws had been trimmed. “Um, sorry about just now. I’ll pay for your internet fee.”
Saying that, he fished out a hundred-yuan bill from his pocket and placed it on Jiang Yan’s desk.
He intended to leave, but Jiang Yan grabbed his arm, preventing him from going.
“You say ‘sorry’ so lightly.” Jiang Yan narrowed his eyes, sizing up the boy in front of him. “That was my first kiss just now. Is it only worth a few dozen yuan of internet fees to you?”
Zhao Dou was so scared he almost fell off his chair. What? They actually kissed?
If the girls at school found out tomorrow that their idol, Brother Yan, had been kissed by a stranger, the school rooftop probably wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all jumping off.
Wen Ran didn’t look like he was in the wrong at all. “With the leftover money, you can buy a few bottles of cola too!”
“That won’t do.” Jiang Yan rested his fingers casually on the keyboard. “Be objective. With a face like mine, even if I went into the ‘trade,’ I’d be the top bill. Putting aside the game I just lost, pity me, a fine young man who hasn’t even held a girl’s hand, getting my first kiss stolen by a guy like you out of nowhere. Shouldn’t we calculate the mental damage fee?”
Wen Ran’s face turned dark.
“I suggest we settle this privately,” Jiang Yan smiled. “After all, if this kind of thing goes to the police station, it won’t be good for my reputation.”
Go to the damn police station, my ass!
Wen Ran was nearly angered to death by this person. He gritted his teeth. “Then how much do you want?”
Jiang Yan originally just wanted to tease him, but seeing how amusing this kid was, he stared straight into the other’s eyes.
“How about this? My phone happens to be old. I want to switch to a new iPhone 13.”
“Holy sh*t!” Wen Ran exploded instantly. “Why don’t you go rob someone!”
“Is your mouth made of gold?”
Jiang Yan clicked his tongue. “This kid, why are you cursing?”
Ignoring him, Wen Ran dug through his pockets and took out all his money. It was all tens and fives; the largest denomination was a crumpled fifty, plus three coins. Added together, he didn’t even know if it made a hundred.
“This is it. I don’t have any more.”
And this was money he earned from moving boxes and unloading cargo for others.
He had only resorted to that bad strategy to get rid of Li Hao’s pestering. Seeing that this man was the best-looking among the crowd surfing the web—different from everyone else from his hair strands to his fingers—he thought he would be gentle and easy to talk to.
Turns out he was a hidden Lao Liu (schemer/troll)!
Wen Ran saw that Jiang Yan had absolutely no intention of relenting. His chubby friend next to him kept staring, eyes wide open. Considering his own physique, he definitely wasn’t a match for them, so he tried to negotiate. “I saw you guys playing Lingxiao. If you’re pushing rank at the end of the season, I can help you play.”
“Oh?” Jiang Yan hadn’t expected so many surprises from him. “Reaching Grandmaster… can you do it?”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Wen Ran was very confident in his skills. “But we have to agree: once I help you get there, you have to pretend today’s events never happened.”
Jiang Yan understood perfectly. “Deal.”
He organized the money Wen Ran threw on the table, bill by bill, then collected the three coins and put them in his own pocket before standing up to make room for him. “Come over and play a match first.”
Wen Ran was stunned by his shameless operation. “You even want the thirty cents?”
Jiang Yan didn’t care in the slightest. “Money is money, why wouldn’t I want it?”
Wen Ran: “…”
In Lingxiao, Grandmaster was basically the highest tier for ordinary players. Going higher meant potentially running into professional players.
Clicking match, Wen Ran put the headset over his head. He happened to be first pick and instantly locked in ‘Fairy Luyue’.
The teammate in the third slot got angry immediately.
[God Bless My Blade]: WTF, 1st pick, why did you choose this trash hero? trying to throw?
[God Bless My Blade]: Forgot to ban Luyue. Everyone remake, remake!
Fairy Luyue was a very controversial hero in the game. Her damage was high, but the mechanics were difficult. Although classified as a Mage, her damage skills were very hard to land, cooldowns were high, and she had no crowd control. On top of that, her body was the frailest among Mages. Basically, in team fights, she was either hitting air or dying instantly.
If there was a vote for the hero people most wanted to delete, Fairy Luyue would definitely top the list.
[Luoshui]: 3rd pick, don’t ruin the vibe. What if he knows how to play? Why start cursing right away?
[Luoshui]: Let’s play seriously. The game hasn’t even started, don’t be a doomsayer.
[God Bless My Blade]: I’m talking to him, none of your damn business. Gave you a chance to remake just now, looks like you guys don’t want to play properly either.
After saying that, he immediately locked in an ADC (Marksman), stealing Luoshui’s hero.
[Luoshui]: I **** your *** this *** matches
Wen Ran rolled his wrists a couple of times and started typing on the keyboard.
His hand speed was fast, and his fingers were beautiful, but the words he typed weren’t so lovely.
[Jiang]: What kind of thing are you? You say remake and we remake?
[Jiang]: If you love to play, play. If not, go hang AFK on the side. We don’t lack one person like you.
Wen Ran wasn’t bluffing. After the game started, he didn’t clear the wave but went directly to the left bush in the mid lane. When the enemy Mid Laner showed their head, he fired a skill instantly.
Hit.
Early game Mid Laner HP was pitifully low. The enemy Mid immediately retreated to the side. She couldn’t bear to miss the first wave of minions to reach level 2, but she didn’t expect Wen Ran to predict her movement perfectly. Another skill fired.
Hit!
The Mid Laner’s HP was now critical. She panicked and ran back blindly. Wen Ran decisively used Flash to appear in front of her, landing a basic attack to take the kill.
The time was only 43 seconds.
He hadn’t taken a single point of damage; his health bar was still full.
[Luoshui]: 666 (Awesome), brother!
[God Bless My Blade]: Heh, just a coincidence.
Wen Ran ignored him and continued playing at his own rhythm. With the Support helping to hold vision, every time before a team fight, he would cripple the enemy’s dual carries. His aim was almost a hundred percent accurate, beating the enemy back step by step.
The opposing Mid Laner was emotionally collapsing: Is this Luyue hacking?
[God Bless My Blade]: Hmph, what’s so great about stealing two kills? If you have the skill, carry this game to a win!
[Jiang]: If I carry and win, will you eat your keyboard?
[God Bless My Blade]: Eat a keyboard? If you can win, I’ll fcking eat sht!
After saying that, disregarding his own bottom lane, he ran directly to Wen Ran’s mid lane to steal farm, spinning in circles next to him to taunt.
Then he ran straight into the tower to feed, single-handedly giving away eleven kills.
The enemy soon pushed to the high ground. He was just about to type and mock this Fairy Luyue when he saw Luyue fire a skill, knocking off half the enemy ADC’s health. Another skill fired—hitting the Mid Laner blindly without vision. Three skills in a row, and the ADC was dead!
Before anyone could react, Wen Ran used his Ultimate combined with Flash to dive into the crowd, following up with a basic attack to take out the Mid Laner. Both enemy carries were dead!
Wen Ran used his first skill to escape, turning on his voice chat at the same time: “What are you staring at? Go in!”
The other teammates immediately followed up to support him. Without their two main damage dealers, the enemy was no match and got wiped out in one wave.
When the enemy Crystal had only a sliver of health left, Wen Ran spoke nonchalantly: “Hey ADC friend, when do you plan to eat? Remember to give me a room number so I can watch.”
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