Extra: Qing/Ci (Part 1)
The golden light faded, and Shu Ci silently tightened his fists.
In those fragments of memory… Song Zhiyuan, Lu Wei, Si Huai, Chu Renxiao, Zhou Wen, Song Shiyu, Yu Yao… it was an era that had long since ended, yet it held so many people who never saw the dawn.
He had never experienced the love of parents or the protective care of a father, yet in these rushing memories, he felt a surging love.
He had once looked down from a high position to critique the fictional world in the book, never imagining that behind the pages and words lay the magnificent and real lives of so many people.
A person from behind silently embraced him.
Shu Ci turned his face and saw Lu Wanqingās exhausted gaze lose focus, landing on the void in front of them. He nudged him with his nose and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
Lu Wanqing didn’t speak. His arms tightened further.
Shu Ci felt the heat of his breath on the back of his ear and heard his racing heartbeat. He suddenly realized something.
He turned around and cupped his face. Their foreheads touched. “…Are you afraid I’ll leave?”
Lu Wanqing was silent for a moment.
He had been so desperate to find the arrow left by Shu Changzeāhow could anyone not notice his intention? That was the Origin Consciousness of the world; only Shu Changze knew best how to arrive in and leave this world.
“Yes.” He tentatively pecked at Shu Ciās upper lip, trying to use physical contact to mask his current loss of control and anxiety.
A divorce didn’t matterāthat was just the dissolution of a relationship. As long as he could see him, as long as he was in this world, heād have a chance to win him back. Even silently watching him would be enough.
Leaving, however, was different. If he returned to his own world completely, Lu Wanqing didn’t know how he would spend the rest of his life.
Lu Wanqing closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“But you don’t have to worry. You are free. You deserve the best. If leaving is your choice, I won’t have any objections… You are my marked partner; I support all your thoughts and choices.”
Those words were exceptionally difficult to say.
Lu Wanqing looked into Shu Ciās blue-gray eyes and suddenly thought that perhaps existing in the days of missing him, yet without him, would be more painful than those countless cycles.
Shu Ci hadn’t expected him to admit it so decisively, nor had he expected him to be willing to let go without any attempt to keep him.
This was the Lu Wanqing he knew. The consistent Lu Wanqing.
Just as he had silently supported his financial independence and freedom to divorce. Just like that sentence in his suicide noteā “Although I was born without freedom, I hope you will never be trapped in a cage. May you always be free.”
Lu Wanqing lived by every word he spoke, suppressing his own possessiveness to let him have everything he wanted.
But he was no saint. Shu Ci clearly saw the fear and tension intertwined in Lu Wanqingās eyes. He was also afraidāafraid heād be left alone.
“If I were to leave, what would you do?” Shu Ci asked softly. “Don’t lie to me.”
He didn’t dare use words to hijack Lu Wanqing. And he certainly didn’t dare bet on the one-in-ten-thousand chance of what choice he might make.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep living.” Lu Wanqingās thumb stroked Shu Ciās brow. “Shen Lin has experience; I can go find him.”
In the matter of how to survive after the tragedies left by the Song family siblings, he and Shen Lin would likely have to spend their lives researching the subject. In this regard, Shen Lin was the senior.
Having said that, he was stunned. “Do you already have a way back?” The words were phrased as a question, but the tone was certain.
“I do.” Shu Ci sighed. “Butā”
Before he could finish, his lips were forcefully blocked. He was crushed into a kiss, his teeth pried open as warmth was drawn from him in the cold wind.
His time with him was running out…
Lu Wanqing thought this as he kissed Shu Ci. He didn’t give Shu Ci a chance to speak; every kiss was treated as the last, without restraint or reservation.
Shu Ci was enveloped in Lu Weiās fiery, storm-like emotions, sinking into the exchange of breath.
From that moment on, Lu Wanqing became a bit strange. When Yu Xingxing came to pick them up to return to the base, he refused to let go of him even in front of his subordinates, staying by his side and never letting him out of his sight.
Yet, Shu Ci hadn’t realized the problem.
Until that night, when he didn’t know how many times he had met Lu Wanqingās heat after his strength was spent. It was only then, in a daze, that Shu Ci realized why he was fighting so hard with his injuries.
He wouldn’t interfere with his choice, but he was like a child squeezing in one last game before their electronics were confiscatedāhe was being wild and indulgent… afraid this was the last chance in his life to sleep with him, so he was doing it with a desperate intensity.
“Stop for a second.” Tears were squeezed from his eyes. Lu Wanqing supported himself on Shu Ciās waist, arching his back to look at him. “Do you think I can stop?”
Shu Ci reached out, hooked his arms around his neck, and pulled him into his chest. “Whatever. I just want you to listen to me.” Lu Wanqing thrust downward, blocking his mouth. “I don’t want to hear it right now.”
“…” Shu Ci stared at him, then grabbed Lu Wanqingās shoulders and suddenly flipped them over, pinning him to the pillow.
The positions were reversed. He leaned down, his hair brushing across Lu Wanqingās face. He controlled his expression and kissed his Adamās apple.
“You said it yourselfāI’m your marked partner. Why don’t you believe that when I make any decision, I’ll consider you first?”
He circled his wide shoulders, moving up and down. The kisses became lingering and gentle.
“Lu Wanqing, even if everyone ignores you and forgets you, I won’t let you go, and I won’t give up on you.”
Lu Wanqing looked up, his eyes reddening.
“Do you not believe I’ll remember you forever?” Shu Ci whispered. “What right do you have to decide for me that Iāll leave alone without a care?”
That single sentence seemed to snap a string in Lu Wanqingās mind. He seized Shu Ci and carried them both to a peak.
When he finally decided to let him go, the two lay head-to-head. Shu Ci pulled out the items Shu Changze had left for himā The two black crystals.
“He hid them in the golden light and put them in my palm secretly. Think of it as a small thank-you gift for a hard-working person like me.” “A thank-you gift?”
Lu Wanqing held the two crystals whose owner had never been revealed, and he roughly guessed Shu Changzeās intention.
This was a gift of gratitude from the World’s Original Consciousness.
“It allows me to travel freely between the two worlds, with a limit on uses and a cooldown time.” Shu Ci nudged him lazily. “I could have taken you with me, but you kept blocking my mouth and wouldn’t let me talk.”
Lu Wanqing held him tight. He had suddenly become overwhelmed with a sense of gain and loss.
Heād thought he could finally possess him completely, never expecting that space-time would be an obstacle between them. At this moment, he was suddenly very grateful to Shu Changze.
“He gave me a fragment of memory and a sentence he wanted me to pass on to you.”
Shu Ci held Lu Wanqingās hand, their fingers interlaced. In a voice still thick with lingering emotion, he vividly described the voice of Shu Changze that had descended in the golden sparks.
“There are many children in the world. I will not favor any one child, nor will I feel extra pain for any one type of suffering.
“But Lu Wanqing is the child I am most sorry to. Others were just trapped, oblivious, while he was the only one paying the price for the worldās sins. This gift is for both of you. Tell him ‘I’m sorry’ for me.”
The room fell into a momentary silence. Shu Ci turned his head and saw Lu Wanqing staring at the ceiling, thinking of something.
After a long while, those lake-colored eyes turned to him, filled with a deep, palpable emotion. Then, he heard Lu Wanqing sayā
“He has already given me the best gift.”
On that cold night when they met, a single glance had spanned ten thousand years.
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