Chapter 114: The Arrival of Winter
Once the Start of Winter passed, the season officially turned. The weather grew colder by the day, and the layers of clothing they wore increased from two to three; when the wind howled in the mornings and evenings, they had to bundle up in four or five.
It was only when the cold set in that Cheng Ge discovered Wen Ling suffered from rhinitis.
In the past, as long as Cheng Ge was by his side, Wen Ling could sleep peacefully until dawn. But in winter, that was no longer possible—Wen Ling would start sneezing.
He would sneeze for a while in the middle of the night, and just when he finally stopped and fell back asleep, he would start again as soon as the sky grew bright. His voice would be thick with nasal congestion, making him sound incredibly pitiable.
At first, Cheng Ge thought Wen Ling had caught a cold. He gave him cold medicine for a few days, but there was no improvement; the sneezing persisted. Only then did it slowly dawn on him that it was rhinitis.
Later, they went to see a doctor. It took nearly two courses of treatment before he improved, though he didn’t recover completely. He would still sneeze once or twice right after waking up, but that was already a significant improvement.
Besides his nose, Cheng Ge discovered a litany of other problems with Wen Ling’s health.
Yet Wen Ling himself didn’t care, nor did he even notice. He was like a flower that had endured years of devastation; indifferent to his own exhaustion, he stubbornly forced himself to grow year after year.
First and foremost was the issue of Wen Ling’s icy hands and feet. Cheng Ge had never touched hands so cold; pressing them against his neck was no different from holding a block of ice. His feet were the same; even touching them through thick socks, Cheng Ge could feel a chill emanating from within.
When the weather first started getting cold, this phenomenon wasn’t severe, and Wen Ling didn’t notice it either. It was because Cheng Ge loved holding Wen Ling’s hand that he realized the other’s hands were growing colder by the day.
Moreover, Cheng Ge’s body temperature was naturally high, making the difference between them even more apparent.
When they slept, Cheng Ge would tuck Wen Ling’s hands against his own stomach and clamp Wen Ling’s feet between his legs, warming him up thoroughly before pulling him into his arms to sleep.
Later, after buying a hand warmer and very thick socks for Wen Ling, Cheng Ge skipped those steps.
One day, Wen Ling didn’t use the hand warmer Cheng Ge had prepared and even took off his socks. Taking advantage of Cheng Ge getting into bed, he tucked his hands against Cheng Ge’s stomach and wedged his feet between Cheng Ge’s legs just as he had done before.
At that moment, Cheng Ge was jolted by the cold and let out a sharp hiss. Because he had been worried about the issue of Wen Ling’s icy limbs lately, his tone was harsh and his volume a bit loud: “How can your hands and feet be this icy? You’re going to freeze someone to death!”
After saying that, he grabbed Wen Ling’s hands to cover them and rubbed them. He then asked Wen Ling why he didn’t use the hand warmer and why he took off his socks. What if he caught a chill?
Cheng Ge always spoke to Wen Ling with kind words, his tone almost coaxing. Even when he had no choice, he would only laugh at him helplessly and say a few words with a smile. It was extremely rare for him to use such a reproachful tone.
Thus, after Cheng Ge finished asking, Wen Ling remained silent. After a long while, Wen Ling withdrew his hands and feet, his tone carrying a faint trace of sadness: “Then I won’t freeze you anymore.”
Finally, he flipped over and turned his back to Cheng Ge.
As soon as Cheng Ge saw Wen Ling like this, he realized something was wrong.
He then remembered that Wen Ling’s mood hadn’t been very high these past few days, giving off a somewhat despondent feeling. He suspected Wen Ling might have encountered something, and his own outburst would only seem like adding insult to injury, making the other even more upset.
“Xiao Wen, I didn’t mean it that way,” Cheng Ge leaned in and hugged Wen Ling from behind. “I simply thought you—”
“Stop hugging me, I’m freezing you,” Wen Ling struggled. As he spoke, his voice took on a sob, and tears began to flow, his body shaking with each hitch of his breath.
Cheng Ge was startled. He hadn’t expected Wen Ling’s emotions to be so intense this time; it had been a long time since he had been like this. Hearing him made Cheng Ge’s heart ache in sympathy, and he hurriedly pulled the other into his arms to coax him.
“Of course I have to hug you. I wouldn’t even be able to sleep without hugging you. I wasn’t saying you were freezing me; I just felt bad that your hands and feet were so cold.”
“You… you keep saying I’m cold.” Wen Ling suddenly flipped over, but it wasn’t because he had been coaxed. Rather, his emotions had reached a breaking point.
“I didn’t even feel cold myself! I even thought you were too hot! When you hug me, you’re scalding me! I… I didn’t say anything, yet you keep saying I’m cold and that my hands and feet are like ice. You said I… that I was freezing you to death… I don’t even feel frozen, and I don’t want to be this cold either! What can I do about it? You just keep… keep being disgusted by me…”
Wen Ling complained while crying. Cheng Ge listened intently and couldn’t help but interject: “Don’t think like that. I’m not disgusted by you. I could never be disgusted by you.”
“Every time you tuck my hands into your stomach and clamp my feet, you’re always frowning. You find me annoying and can’t stand it, so you use a hand warmer to replace yourself just to brush me off. Then I… then I just won’t… won’t let you hug me anymore…”
He said that, yet Wen Ling’s arms tightly circled Cheng Ge’s waist, showing no intention of letting go.
Wen Ling was just like that; he required a vast, immense amount of love to soak him through, but just a tiny bit of perceived neglect or perfunctoriness would drown him.
He could be numb to the overwhelming malice of others, but even the slightest change in Cheng Ge’s behavior would be infinitely magnified by him. He only exploded when the grievance and sadness became unbearable.
Wen Ling was simply insecure. He had deliberately avoided the hand warmer and taken off his socks just to test if Cheng Ge still found him annoying. He hadn’t expected Cheng Ge to be “annoyed to death.”
Wen Ling pouted aggrievedly, his tears falling continuously. “I’m just a bit cold, so you don’t like me anymore? I didn’t stay this icy on purpose. I absolutely hate winter!”
Wen Ling let out a stream of complaints. Once he finished, he grew quiet, hugging Cheng Ge and crying silently.
Cheng Ge didn’t tell Wen Ling not to cry; he just silently helped him wipe away his tears. He felt it was better to let it out; bottling it up would only make him ill.
Cheng Ge held Wen Ling tight, tucking his hands back against his stomach to warm them. Then he reached down to pull Wen Ling’s feet into his lap, warming them with his palms before clamping them between his legs.
Now, Wen Ling was curled completely in Cheng Ge’s embrace.
After a long time, Cheng Ge said, “I wasn’t brushing you off with the hand warmer. I just thought I wasn’t as effective as high technology. If you like me warming you, then I’ll be your hand warmer. I’m quite willing.”
Cheng Ge wasn’t just coaxing him with those words. He was naturally happy to warm Wen Ling; he was glad to transfer his own heat to Wen Ling to warm him up. He just felt that for the task of heating, how could a human be more effective than high technology?
“Don’t be upset anymore.” Cheng Ge kissed Wen Ling’s cheeks and the tip of his nose—all the places Wen Ling loved being kissed—playing right into Wen Ling’s preferences. “If you like it, I’ll keep warming you forever.”
Wen Ling felt much better after crying. Being coaxed like this by Cheng Ge, he lost all his temper, and his voice became soft.
With his face buried in Cheng Ge’s chest, his words came out muffled. “I don’t like winter.”
Cheng Ge gave an “mm” and added, “Then I don’t like it either.”
“In winter, I can’t even hug you properly,” Wen Ling’s tears fell again. “I feel like you’re so, so far away from me. I can’t even touch you. When we sleep, there’s even such a large hand warmer between us…”
Now that winter had arrived and they wore thick clothes, they naturally couldn’t touch each other’s skin or feel each other’s temperature and heartbeat when they hugged. They could only kiss their faces and lips or press against each other.
Originally they could still hold hands, but later Cheng Ge insisted Wen Ling wear gloves. Seeing Cheng Ge about to frown, Wen Ling had no choice but to wear them. But even holding hands felt distant like that.
Wen Ling placed his hands on Cheng Ge’s stomach; it was already one of the few ways they could be so close.
Wen Ling was someone who desperately needed physical contact. Without it, he would become insecure. Lately, Cheng Ge had only been worrying about Wen Ling’s cold constitution and icy limbs, and indeed hadn’t considered this aspect.
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