Chapter 131: Love Itself Has No Solution
Grandpa nodded understandingly, then asked in a low whisper, “Are you used to being back here? How about Wen-zai? Is he settling in all right?”
Cheng Ge instinctively squeezed Wen Lingās shoulder. “Weāre used to it. Everything is fine.”
“Is the bed too hard? Iāve heard you young people like to buy those thick pads that are soft and comfortable.”
“No, no, itās just right. Itās very comfortable to lie on.”
“Good, good. Then I wonāt disturb your sleep any longer.”
Before Cheng Ge could let out a sigh of relief and say “goodnight,” Grandpa, who had turned halfway to leave, turned back around.
He asked Cheng Ge if the food was good and what he wanted to eat tomorrow.
Cheng Ge felt a bit amused, but also deeply moved. The unfamiliar yet intimate concern radiating from Grandpa made his heart feel inexplicably warm.
Elders were always like thisāperpetually worried about a dozen different things, wanting to place only the best things in the hands of their grandchildren.
Cheng Ge hadnāt communicated much with Grandpa before; he would regularly send him money, but their conversations rarely went beyond a few casual remarks about daily life. He hadnāt expected that speaking with him now would feel so natural, without any sense of distance.
Grandpa continued to ramble as he walked toward the door, talking about the past and the present. Whenever he reached a particularly important point, he would even walk back toward them.
By the time he finally closed the door to let them rest, twenty minutes had passed.
About ten minutes in, Cheng Ge had sensed that Wen Ling was already asleep.
Now, he was completely sound asleep, slumped in Cheng Ge’s arms, the quilt rising and falling slightly with his breathing.
Cheng Ge pulled the blanket down a bit and removed the mask Wen Ling was wearing.
Wen Lingās face instinctively nuzzled against Cheng Geās chest, the tickling sensation making Cheng Ge smile.
Cheng Ge carefully adjusted their position to make sure Wen Ling was sleeping comfortably.
If anyone asked when Wen Ling was at his most well-behaved, it was undoubtedly when he was asleep.
During the day, his “good boy” act always carried a hint of hidden intentāa dorky sort of innocence that was both cute and hilarious.
But when he slept, all those little schemes were cast aside. All his small triumphs settled into silence. He simply held Cheng Ge with his whole heart, nestled deep in his embrace.
Wen Lingās eyelashes were so long and thick, resting peacefully against the edge of his eyelids just like their owner.
His cheeks, which usually didn’t have much flesh, would bunch up into a small, white, clean mound under the pressure of the pillowāit was truly endearing.
Cheng Ge loved watching Wen Ling after he fell asleep; he looked so precious.
The more he looked, the more he found himself instinctively leaning in to kiss himāon the eyelids, the cheeks, the tip of his nose. Sometimes, he even felt a sudden urge to give him a little bite.
In short, he could never look enough or kiss him enough. Even while simply sleeping, Wen Ling tugged at his heartstrings so fiercely that Cheng Ge found it difficult to describe this strange sensation.
Even now, after staring at Wen Ling for a long time and giving him countless kisses, that void in his heart remained unfilled, and the impulse for intimacy didn’t fade.
It was a contradictory feeling. As he held and watched Wen Ling, Cheng Ge felt a joy akin to finding something lost, a swelling sense of life’s fulfillment. His chest was filled to the brim by Wen Lingās presence.
And yet, it still felt like it wasn’t enough.
Not close enough, not long enough. Even a lifetime in each other’s arms felt like too little.
Since childhood, Cheng Geās emotions had always leaned toward the reserved and silent.
But Wen Ling loved straightforward, intense affection. So, Cheng Ge learned how to express it, no longer stingy with his “likes” and “loves.”
He wanted Wen Ling to feel cherished, surrounded by a fervent love.
But there were still things hidden away that Cheng Ge couldn’t quite voice.
Like the way his eyes looked at Wen Ling every night after he fell into a deep sleepāthe love inside them was so full it threatened to overflow.
If Wen Ling were to suddenly open his eyes and see Cheng Ge like this, his heart would surely be scorched by the intensity. He would undoubtedly squint his eyes, cling to Cheng Ge, and mumble a few whimpers, his heart welling up with a bittersweet warmth so profound it would turn his eyes red with happiness.
Cheng Ge had never imagined he could like someone this much.
He wanted Wen Ling to share all his sorrows, wanted to shoulder every burden for him, wanted to give him the best of everything, and wanted him to live a carefree life without a single worry.
Cheng Ge had always been a man of reason and fairness, so how had the scales tilted so drastically when it came to Wen Ling?
He didn’t know if everyone who embraced love became like thisāpracticing “double standards,” being utterly unreasonable, yet having it all make sense through the logic of love.
It seemed to be an unsolved problem. Love itself has no solution.
As for the way Wen Ling had hidden his fever, Cheng Ge couldn’t bring himself to blame him. He couldn’t even if he tried, for he understood the reason behind it better than anyone.
And yet, Cheng Ge was afraid. He was terrified of the “what ifs.” He didn’t want it to happen again, but that, too, was an insolvable dilemma.
Wen Ling was a fast learner; now, even the way the two of them loved each other had started to look alike.
After a long while, Cheng Ge wiped his stinging eyes, turned off the bedside lamp, kissed the top of Wen Lingās head, and fell asleep holding him.
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