Chapter 2: A Nest of Monsters and Demons
A flurry of noisy footsteps suddenly echoed from downstairs.
Jiang Louqi casually tossed aside the ledger used to record the entry of departed souls into the Underworld. While a hint of suspicion flickered in his mind, he felt a spark of secret delight: was his luck actually this good today? Had customers arrived the very moment he opened for business?
He moved with lightning speed, rushing downstairs with a stride so brisk it seemed to carry the wind. However, the moment he laid eyes on the group of people dressed in a riot of garish colors, his composure instantly evaporated. The joy on his face morphed into a massive question mark.
Were these freaking customers?
Jiang Louqi shoved his hands into his pockets and straightened his spine, completely forgetting Grandpa Jiang’s adage that the customer was God.
He then began to talk nonsense with a straight face: “Have you folks wandered into the wrong place? This is the SNE Special Agency.
(Supernatural Events)
This isn’t a fashion show, and definitely no cosplay!”
This statement left Su Qian, the female demon swaying nine white fox tails at the front, looking utterly bewildered. Possessing a devilishly seductive figure, she spoke with a voice that carried the constant, sultry tone of a mature woman: “What is cosplay?”
“Sister Su, let me tell you—it’s role-playing. Humans absolutely love it,” explained a chuunibyou youth standing beside her, a pair of headphones draped around his neck and his eyes shining with excitement.
He walked straight up to Jiang Louqi with glowing eyes, and without the slightest hint of being a stranger, he grabbed the other man’s arm to shake it. “Hello, hello! Let’s be friends, big handsome guy. I’m Zhou Jiayi, a bona fide internet-addicted youth.”
A sudden chill surged through Jiang Louqi’s body, leaving a lingering shiver that spread to his very marrow.
This youth was clearly just a brat, so how could his hands be colder than the summit of Mount Everest?!
He immediately yanked back his frozen, numb arm. His intuition told him that the person before him wasn’t human at all, let alone some “brat”!
“We aren’t role-playing. We are the genuine article, top-tier.”
Jiang Louqi followed the voice to the speaker and felt the corners of his mouth twitch. He was left speechless.
The owner of the voice stood elegantly, his blood-red eyes devoid of emotion. Within those deep crimson vortices lay a suffocating sense of oppression. Strands of red hair partially obscured his pale neck.
What the hell… there was even a vampire?!
The vampire seemed to sense his gaze and curved his lips into a smile. “Since this is our first meeting, allow me to introduce myself. I am Xino Griffith, dear Director Jiang.”
Jiang Louqi appeared somewhat impatient, but he tried his best to maintain a good-tempered facade. He made a “stop” gesture toward the man, not finding it at all strange that the other knew his name.
“Wait, wait, wait. Sino what? Head & Shoulders? Who brought you all here? Do you have business for me?”
This Western “Head & Shoulders” turned pale instantly—though his pallor was already indistinguishable from his natural skin tone, making any change invisible. He gritted his teeth and enunciated each syllable: “It is Xino Griffith!”
“Hahahahaha!”
Su Qian and Zhou Jiayi both burst into laughter. Even though the fox woman didn’t know what “Head & Shoulders” meant, she loved seeing Xino Griffith make a fool of himself. In her heart, she increasingly found this Director Jiang to be quite interesting.
“Director Jiang, this humble immortal brought them.”
Within a swirl of dense, ghostly mist, Cui Panguan slowly manifested.
His face was buried in black smoke, making his features impossible to discern. Holding a scroll approved by the Lord of the Underworld, he stepped forward and handed it to Jiang Louqi. “Director Jiang, this is the will of the Mingzhu. We ask for your understanding.”
Seeing it was Cui Panguan, Jiang Louqi’s exasperation softened slightly. However, every time the Underworld sent a visitor, it was never for anything good!
He opened the black memorial scroll with a mix of suspicion and doubt.
The scroll was filled with elegant, restrained regular script. Every stroke was dignified and beautiful, the structure powerful and rigorous. It was meticulous in every detail, yet the entire long-winded passage was written in flowery Classical Chinese…
Jiang Louqi felt a headache coming on. His humanities subjects had never been strong to begin with, and now he was expected to decipher text that was practically Morse code!
Why did everyone in the Underworld love to act like refined scholars when speaking or writing? It was clearly just a waste of time meant to torment subordinates…
He scanned the text briefly. His deep-set features gradually darkened before the gloom vanished, replaced by a smile.
“So, you just want them to be employees here at the agency? Easy, easy. The Mingzhu boss is truly considerate of his subordinates, fearing I’d work myself to death with no one to take over my post.”
On the surface, Jiang Louqi forced a smile to signal his acceptance, but internally, he was cursing the King of Hell for being an even bigger bastard than he was!
This group of employees—neither human nor ghost—were all high-level convicts from the Underworld!
The Underworld implemented a graded management system for criminals, divided into three levels:
Level 1 (Lenient Management)
Level 2 (Ordinary Management)
Level 3 (Strict Management)
Although the four of them had lived up to expectations by leaving Level 3 and dropping to Level 2—meaning they didn’t need to be imprisoned and punished in the Eighteen Levels of Hell—who knew if these people would start a rebellion…
He was so “grateful” to this ghostly boss for sending over these several reform-through-labor convicts. Jiang Louqi groaned inwardly; this was truly a disaster. Did they really think they could treat the SNE Special Agency like a prison?!
Cui Panguan was naturally a bit incredulous that Jiang Louqi had agreed so readily. Did he not have a single word of complaint? Or did he simply not dare to speak up?
As expected, Director Jiang really did have a famously good temper!
He ceased his speculation and maintained a gentle, composed attitude. “Then we shall trouble Director Jiang to take charge. These high-level convicts are all seven years short of the Yin Merit required for their full release. Furthermore, the Mingzhu has placed Yin Merit Shackles upon them. Should they defy Director Jiang’s orders, they shall find no place to hide, even at the ends of the earth.”
Hearing this, Jiang Louqi gave a vague nod. At least this leader had a shred of conscience and had considered his personal safety.
Without another word, he cupped his hands in a respectful salute to Cui Panguan as a gesture of thanks. Even his tone shifted, carrying a hint of hidden mockery: “That is excellent indeed. In that case, this humble one gives his thanks to the Mingzhu!”
Cui Panguan was amused by his glib tongue, though the smile remained hidden beneath the black mist. He bowed and retreated. “Director Jiang, until we meet again. This immortal shall go to report to the Mingzhu.”
Once the last wisp of smoke vanished, Jiang Louqi raised an eyebrow and plopped down onto the sofa behind him. He crossed his legs, but the smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes.
He pointed at the Qing Dynasty zombie who had been buried behind the other three the whole time, his sharp gaze seemingly able to pierce right through a person.
“Don’t hide in the back, Chu Zhixing. Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you still blaming my grandfather for sending you in all those years ago? The old man has already ridden a crane to the western heavens, yet you’re still doing just fine.”
The other three turned their heads one after another to look at the tall and thin Chu Zhixing. His face was cold, and his fists were clenched so tightly that his long nails dug into his palms. Only then did he spit out a single sentence: “I would not dare. I am under your command.”
To his surprise, Jiang Louqi didn’t take it seriously at all and burst into laughter. “Hahaha! As expected, being a leader is great. I have a group of subordinates to escort me. Just don’t punch me if you get angry.”
Amidst the sound of the others’ knuckles cracking, he reined in his smile and spoke a rare, serious sentence: “You lot, hurry up and change out of those outfits. What’s with those garish colors? Switch into normal clothes immediately. Tuck away those tails that need to be tucked. Don’t go scaring the customers and causing me heavy losses, or I’ll hold you all accountable.”
Zhou Jiayi was the first to obey, snapping a salute: “By your command, Director Jiang!”
Jiang Louqi looked the chuunibyou youth over and felt quite satisfied. “The kid is the most obedient after all. Though, I’m not technically employing child labor, am I? You shouldn’t be human… not that I’m trying to insult you.”
“It’s fine… Sigh, to tell you the truth, I’m just a ghost who’s been dead for three hundred years and then possessed this corpse. Hehe.”
Zhou Jiayi scratched his head with the bashful look of a teenager, completely at odds with being a three-hundred-year-old dead ghost.
“Oh, no wonder I felt something was off the moment I saw you.” Jiang Louqi had no intention of asking why the youth had possessed a mortal; the Underworld likely knew everything already, so there was no need for him to say more.
He called out to Xino Griffith, who was heading toward the locker room: “Head & Shoulders, aren’t you a Western vampire? How did you end up mixed up in the Underworld? Everything is a mess.”
Xino Griffith licked his fangs as if he might lunged at this bastard director’s neck in the next second and drain him dry. “Please call me Xino Griffith!”
Facing that bloodthirsty gaze, Jiang Louqi’s hand trembled as he touched his slender, fair neck. He gave an awkward, dry laugh. “Ah, fine, fine. Don’t look at me like that, I’m scared. My blood doesn’t taste good.”
Xino Griffith huffed and turned around. As he walked, he said, “I am a Duke of the blood clan. I only came across the ocean to this place to find a suitable blood slave. I continuously consumed too much blood and was nearly nailed to death.”
“Serves you right,” Jiang Louqi muttered under his breath behind Xino Griffith’s back, hoping the other wouldn’t hear.
The SNE Special Agency, which had been lifeless this morning, was now becoming lively.
Although he was gathered with monsters and demons, it wasn’t bad—better than being alone. He unilaterally decided to take back his words about the Mingzhu being a bastard…
Nanchong Underworld, Hall of Yan Wang.
“Panguan, did he take charge willingly?”
The Mingzhu of the Underworld sat upright in the main hall. His face was fair and clean, and he wore a ceremonial crown. Fragrant pouches hung from either side of his head to protect his ears. He was dressed in a wide-sleeved robe with a ruffled collar and boots on his feet. He sat with great dignity, flanked by two small officials in green robes who stood in attendance with wide, angry eyes.
Translator’s Note:
Things are getting crowded at the SNE Special Agency! Here are a few terms from this chapter:
- Cui Panguan (崔判官): “Panguan” is a title for a Judge in the Underworld. Cui is one of the most famous judges in Chinese mythology, responsible for the Ledger of Life and Death.
- Yin Merit (阴德 – Yinde): This refers to “hidden merit” or good deeds done that are known to the heavens/underworld. Accumulating Yin Merit is essential for a good reincarnation or for prisoners to be released.
- Ridden a crane to the western heavens (驾鹤西去): A common euphemism for death in Chinese culture.
- Chuunibyou (中二病): A Japanese term often used in Chinese web novels to describe someone (usually a teenager) who has “delusions of grandeur” or acts like a fantasy character.
- Nanchong (楠漨): The name of the specific region or “branch” of the Underworld mentioned here.
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