Chapter 8: I Swing Both Ways, Alright?
The next day.
The SNE Special Agency.
After spending the previous night bustling about the hospital with Xie Jiuchen, Jiang Louqi hadn’t made it back to his apartment until after five in the morning. Though his shift was supposed to start at eight, he had stubbornly dragged out his morning for an extra hour before forcing himself out of bed. He was tired enough to drop dead.
The main doors to the agency were wide open. His colleagues should have arrived long ago, though God only knew where they were currently slacking off or hiding.
Jiang Louqi let out a slow yawn and blinked his bleary eyes, trying his best to rally some semblance of spirit.
To his surprise, he had barely stepped through the door when the employees—who had been nowhere to be seen—suddenly materialized like ghosts, surrounding him so tightly that not even a drop of water could have leaked through.
“What’s this? What’s this? Starting a mutiny?”
Startled, Jiang Louqi was shoved toward the front desk by the group.
He reached back, snatched a ballpoint pen from a holder on the desk, and pointed it menacingly at his staff. “I’m only an hour late! Don’t tell me you’re planning to gang up and beat your boss?”
Chu Zhixing stared at him intently. Without a word, he reached into his overcoat pocket, pulled out his phone, and opened his photo gallery. He used two fingers to zoom in on a candid photo taken the night before, shoving it in Jiang Louqi’s face.
“What is this…” Confused, Jiang Louqi leaned closer. The phone’s camera quality was truly abysmal; the image was a dark, grainy mess. It took him several long moments of squinting to finally make it out.
That… wasn’t that a photo of him driving Xie Jiuchen back to the dorms last night?!
Before he could open his mouth to explain, Su Qian pushed aside Xino Griffith and Zhou Jiayi, who were blocking her path. She paced around Jiang Louqi, even leaning in to point her delicate fox-nose at his trench coat, sniffing deeply.
Like a detective interrogating a criminal, the female demon planted her hands on her hips and narrowed her long, enchanting eyes. “Confess! Who is that man in the photo? Why were you driving him around? Could it be that you two…”
Jiang Louqi couldn’t take this bizarre atmosphere anymore. His body, currently leaning against the front desk, nearly slipped off as he raised a hand to wave them away. “Confess what? I accidentally hit the guy with my car. Is it a crime to take him to the hospital for a check-up?”
“Oh? Is—that—so?” Zhou Jiayi couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, wearing a smirk he didn’t even bother to hide. The “16G Internet Addict” had instantly transformed into a gossip-hungry bystander—and the gossip was about his own boss, no less.
He was already planning to go online and draft a post:
[Extra, extra! The boss is actually gay! Instead of sleeping in the middle of the night, he likes to drive around and pick up handsome guys!]
“Get back to work. Why is a kid like you asking so many questions?”
Jiang Louqi raised a fist and delivered a sharp knock to the boy’s head, shattering his messy fantasies. He then snatched Chu Zhixing’s crappy phone and deleted the photo completely. “Nice going, kid. I sent you out to catch ghosts, and you spent your time taking secret photos of me?”
“Personal hobby. None of your business.” Chu Zhixing snatched his Nokia touchscreen phone back, tucked it into his pocket, and headed for the second floor without looking back.
“Pervert.” Jiang Louqi aimed a phantom kick at his retreating back. If he could actually land a hit from this distance, that Qing Dynasty Jiangshi would have died several times over by now. Perhaps he’d eventually end up as a museum relic after being buried for a few more centuries.
Xino Griffith brushed a lock of his wine-red hair aside, his gaze hooded with an arrogant, dominant aura. A playful, wicked smirk played on his lips—one that was impossible to decipher. “Director Jiang, do you actually prefer men?”
Not another one. Jiang Louqi held his forehead, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly to prevent himself from actually suffocating out of sheer frustration. Why was every single one of his employees a bigger gossip than the busybody aunts at a village entrance?
He had simply bumped into a beautiful man and flirted a little on the side, that was all! Chu Zhixing must have come back and added some dramatic flair to the story. This was a targeted attack!
“Director Jiang, you haven’t answered this Duke’s question yet.” Xino Griffith, who knew nothing but loved to fan the flames, poked him again.
Jiang Louqi rubbed his dark circles, then stretched his limbs with a few cracks. “I swing both ways, alright?”
“What a pervert.” Su Qian felt that this boss was even more of a degenerate than Chu Zhixing and his secret photography. She instinctively glanced down at her own elegant, curvaceous figure, then looked back up at Jiang Louqi…
Feeling her gaze, Jiang Louqi nearly coughed up a pint of blood from sheer rage. What was this girl thinking every day? He quickly protested, “What are you making me out to be? I’m a decent, respectable man, not some perverted lecher!”
Before his grumbling could cease, three consecutive knocks sounded at the door. Everyone turned their heads simultaneously.
A young man stood outside, dressed in a black hoodie and black thermal leggings. He looked to be in his early twenties, radiating an aura that was honest, simple, and hardworking.
Being stared at so abruptly by the group made him scratch his face awkwardly. He walked up to Jiang Louqi and obediently handed over a resume. “Hello, Leader. This is my resume. I’m here to apply for the janitor position at the SNE Special Agency.”
“Janitor?” Jiang Louqi shot a confused look at his employees before scanning the young man in front of him.
Zhou Jiayi grabbed his arm and leaned in to whisper, “Brother Jiang, did you forget? You asked Sister Su to post a job listing online last time. You said we needed a cleaner to handle the chores.”
“Oh, right. Look at me, the ‘important man’ with a poor memory.” Jiang Louqi finally had his lightbulb moment. A hint of interest flashed in his sharp eyes as he looked at the youth. “What did you just call me?”
The warm-hearted Zhou Jiayi helpfully reminded him, “Brother Jiang, you really do have a bad memory. He called you ‘Leader’!”
“Shoo, shoo! I don’t need your reminders, I obviously know that.” Jiang Louqi felt his mood sour at the interruption, but his smile remained when facing the newcomer. “With so many people here, how did you know I was the leader?”
“Because you look the most handsome, and you have the aura of a leader.”
The young man scratched the back of his head shyly. When he smiled, he revealed a row of white teeth. His brows were relaxed, and it felt as if the sunlight itself was being gathered and released through his grin—bright and beautiful.
“Do you hear that? Look at this young brother. He’s cute and he knows how to talk. Not like you lot, who do nothing but insult your boss all day.”
Jiang Louqi tapped the resume with a long finger, his dark eyes full of mirth. If the kid complimented him a few more times, he’d probably float right up to the Southern Heaven Gate.
Hearing this, the others turned up their noses and let out a miraculous, synchronized scoff. “Tch, tch, tch!”
“Have fun settling in with your little fanboy, Director Jiang. We won’t be joining you.” Su Qian patted Jiang Louqi’s shoulder with mock solemnity, crossed her arms, and walked away.
“Ahem.” Under the youth’s gaze—which was filled to the brim with anticipation—Jiang Louqi managed to act professional for once, putting on his “leader” persona. He looked at the name on the resume and read it aloud: “Ji Yuqing?”
Why did everything he encountered lately feel so poetic? Names, the way people talked… Xie Jiuchen’s long-winded Classical Chinese essay must have traumatized him.
“My mom gave it to me, hehe. She said the name sounds obedient, so it’d be easier to raise me.”
Having said that, Ji Yuqing became nervous. He fidgeted with the skin on his hands and stammered, “Um, Leader… about my resume… the janitor job…”
Jiang Louqi tossed the resume onto the front desk and looked him up and down, shaking his head slightly. “Sigh, it’s a waste of talent. Why would a fine young man like you want to come here and sweep floors?”
To his surprise, Ji Yuqing blurted out a very blunt, realistic answer without thinking: “Because the pay here is high.”
Realizing his words were a bit too tactless, the young man scrambled to explain before Jiang Louqi could react. “It’s not what you think! It’s just… something happened at home. My mother had a heart attack relapse and is in the hospital. We need a lot of money for the medical bills…”
Jiang Louqi listened seriously, showing no sign of blame. Instead, he placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder in encouragement. “You’re a filial son. Needing money isn’t something to be ashamed of. If you have something to say, just say it. Don’t waste your time trying to guess what others are thinking—life is too exhausting that way.”
“Mhm, mhm! I understand! Thank you for the teaching, Leader! So, Leader… can I start working?”
Ji Yuqing asked cautiously. This hard-won job was precious to him. Worried that the boss might think he was too young to do a good job, he began to chatter away, selling himself further. “I can do anything! Laundry, cooking, mopping, washing feet, scrubbing backs, and also…”
“Stop, stop, stop.”
Jiang Louqi hastily cut him off. If he let the boy keep going, they wouldn’t finish until tomorrow night. “Congratulations, you’re hired. You can start today. Just do whatever makes you happy. If you need anything, look for Su Qian—that’s the sister from just now. OK?”
Ji Yuqing nodded like a chick pecking at grain, so excited he couldn’t even speak. His eyes welled up with tears. He felt like he must have saved the galaxy in his past life to encounter such a lovable, wonderful leader!
He swore to himself that he would work his absolute hardest to repay this kindness!
Translator’s Note:
- “I swing both ways” (男女通吃): Literally translates to “eating both men and women.” It’s a common slang term in Chinese for being bisexual or having no gender preference when it comes to dating.
- 16G Internet Addict: In Chinese internet slang, “surfing” refers to browsing the web. 5G is fast, but “16G” implies someone is so chronically online that they see every piece of gossip the second it happens.
- Jiangshi (僵尸): Often translated as “zombie” or “hopping vampire.” In this context, Chu Zhixing is literally a corpse from the Qing Dynasty, which explains why he’s so grumpy and old-fashioned!
- Southern Heaven Gate (南天門): The entrance to the celestial palace in Chinese mythology. Saying you’ve “floated to the Southern Heaven Gate” means you’re on cloud nine or feeling incredibly smug/happy.
- Ji Yuqing (紀語卿): His name has a very poetic, gentle ring to it. “Yu” (语) means speech/language, and “Qing” (卿) is an ancient formal term of endearment or a high-ranking official title. No wonder Jiang Louqi thinks it sounds “literary”!
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