Chapter 44: Why Wonāt He Let Him Go, Even in Death?
Jian An tried to straighten his body without leaning against the wall, but the trauma to his mind and body caused him to fail several times.
Finally, the hand with the IV tube carefully braced against the bedboard, allowing him to barely sit up with his paper-thin frame.
Under the man’s murderous gaze, Jian An forced himself to swallow the blood rising in his throat. His thumb quietly wiped away the faint trace of blood at the corner of his mouth as he replied weakly:
“I said, weāre getting a divorce. You can marry the sweetheart you love most. You won’t have to look at my miserable face every day and feel irritated anymore. Letās just end it like this…”
He spoke these words with total indifference, trying his best to adjust his breathing to mask his heartache. Yet his trembling nasal tone still betrayed him; his heart felt as if it were dripping blood.
To suddenly leave the person he had loved for so long after three years of companionship… he truly couldn’t bear it. Even when saying the word “divorce,” his tone was trembling and filled with resentment. But for some people, no matter how hard you try, there will never be a result.
Ji Songtingās pupils shrank. His complex thoughts seemed frozen by these words. He stared coldly at the person on the bed, yet for some reason, he felt stung by that gaze filled with agony.
Why would Jian An suddenly say this…?
Could his brain have been turned into mush by the car crash?
Clearly, this was the person who had been so desperate to take Jian Tangliās place, crying and begging to enter the Ji family and marry him. He was the one who had forced Shen Chuyan to be a nameless underground lover for three years. And now Jian An says “divorce” just like that?
How could things in this world be that easy!
Ji Songting looked at him, his fingers trembling almost imperceptibly. His face was dark, and the fire in his eyes seemed to have reached its peak. His voice was so cold it could practically freeze:
“You want a divorce? I don’t agree! The Ji family isn’t a place you can just come and go as you please. However much you hungered to get in three years ago is how much Iāll make you long for the freedom to leave now!”
The manās tone left no room for negotiation. Jian Anās face filled with panic, and the arm with the IV tube gave a violent shudder. “No… you have no right to strip me of my freedom. That is my freedom, Ji Songting… what right do you have?!”
“What right? The right that I am still your husband!”
Ji Songting grabbed a medicine box from nearby and slammed it onto him. His eyes flashed with rage and malice. Seeing the man’s terrified look, he couldn’t help but let out a cold, mocking snort.
“What? Knowing fear now? Or do you regret marrying me in the first place? Now that youāre divorced, are you going to go roll around in the sheets with Shen Yunheng?”
Regret?
He never once regretted marrying Ji Songting. He only regretted that he had been so reckless for love three years ago, throwing away everything for the sake of the cold-hearted man before him.
And now, he was left with nothing but a body full of disease.
“So what if I am? Are you allowed to stay out all night being intimate with Shen Chuyan, while Iām not allowed to have any contact with anyone else? President Ji really is one to ‘allow the officials to light fires while forbidding the commoners from lighting their lanterns’…”
Jian An suppressed the urge to burst into tears, his voice growing lower and lower. In the end, he didn’t even have the courage to look him in the eye. He lowered his eyelashes in a daze, yet he continued to intentionally provoke the man:
“I don’t love you anymore, Ji Songting. I don’t love you at all anymore. The one I like now is Shen Yunheng. Iāve fallen for someone else. Why are you still keeping me?”
To say he didn’t love him was a lie. To say he couldn’t let go was the truth. But he had no choice but to speak against his heart like this.
The success rate for treating late-stage brain hemorrhages as listed in the medical records was extremely low. He no longer had the life or energy to continue loving Ji Songting; he only wanted to beg for a sliver of freedom at the end.
But why wouldn’t that man let him go, even in death?
Ji Songting, naturally unaware of his thoughts, watched him with a gaze that turned from rage to a terrifying darkness. Within him, he felt the provocation and betrayal of a “bird in the palm.”
How had this personās courage suddenly grown so large? He actually dared to talk to him like this? It was the first time in three years.
He didn’t like this feeling. Anyone who tried to defy him had to be taught a lesson through harsh punishment before they would learn to be obedient.
Even though those long, scarlet eyes were bathed in sunlight, they didn’t catch a shred of warmth. Instead, they grew even colder. Jian An couldn’t stop himself from shivering.
At this moment, if it weren’t for his half-dead, sickly appearance, someone with a volatile personality like Ji Songting would have torn him to pieces long ago.
He was repeatedly jumping on the edge of Ji Songtingās patience, speaking while his most fragile heart was pressed against a blade.
The next second, the man’s raspy voice rang out in the ward, carrying a trace of pathological madness:
“Say whatever you want. Whether youāre trying to simply provoke me or youāre showing your true colors, I won’t let you leave. Unless I die, you aren’t going anywhere!”
Faced with this unreasonable force, Jian An felt like he had been doused with cold water. A chill seeped from his head to his toes. He struggled to move his pale, bloodless lips, saying in despair:
“You can’t treat me like this…”
Hearing this, a look of disdain appeared on Ji Songtingās lips. For a split second, it was as if he saw the Jian An who would only ever obey his commands again, and his heart felt immensely satisfied.
He pursed his lips into a mocking curve and adjusted a button with his slender fingers, speaking in a slow, deliberate tone:
“Iāll let you stay in the hospital for two days so you don’t die. When the time comes, Iāll have Xiao Wang pick you up and take you back to the villa. Don’t think about running away. No matter where you hide, even to the ends of the earth, I will find you.”
With that, he didn’t even bother to spare him another glance. With one hand in his pocket, he strode out of the ward.
The moment Ji Songting left, Shen Yunheng, who had been waiting anxiously outside, rushed in without a word. Those ten short minutes had been exceptionally difficult to endure.
He walked over and looked at Jian An, who was sitting dejectedly on the bed. As if possessed, he reached out and gently touched his cheek, his thumb slowly stroking under the man’s eyes, as if wiping away tears.
He truly couldn’t stand to see this person like this. He was even more afraid that Jian An was bottling everything up; if he didn’t speak, it would turn into a sickness.
Shen Yunhengās hand suddenly stopped on his head, resting there quietly. He then gently stroked the soft crown of his hair. He clenched his fist in heartache and asked:
“Xiao An, whatās wrong? Can you say something? Did that bastard do anything to you?”
It was a long time before Jian An finally let out a slow breath. his gaze grew dim, and a dense pain rose in his heart. He then gave a wooden shake of his head, his eyes turning bright red. “No. He didn’t do anything. I just told him about the divorce.”
“Really? Xiao An, you really want to divorce him?”
Shen Yunheng half-crouched and looked up at him. He gripped his arm excitedly and spoke in disbelief:
“Thatās wonderful. Xiao An, youāve finally seen sense. We don’t want someone as arrogant and heartless as that. There will be better people waiting for you in the future! If I could, I…”
“Yunheng, there won’t be anyone else.”
Jian An interrupted him once again. He stared at the window, his eyes gradually blurring. His mind couldn’t help but uncontrollably recall the man’s image and actions.
He bit his thin lip and quickly raised his hand to wipe away the moisture. “Perhaps in this life, Iāll never love anyone else as unreservedly as I loved Ji Songting.”
Shen Yunheng saw the stubbornness in his eyes. He silently pulled out a tissue and handed it to him, advising with patience and tenderness:
“You fool, what kind of nonsense is that? What ‘this life’? Youāre only twenty-four years old. Your days ahead are long. A lifetime doesn’t pass that quickly. Don’t say such things.”
Jian An took the tissue but didn’t use it. He just clutched it in his hand, looking down at the pure white paper in despair.
“Yunheng, you don’t have to comfort me anymore. I know my own illness. Itās late-stage. It can’t be cured. I might not even finish ‘this life’.”
“Thatās not true! You aren’t allowed to say that!”
Shen Yunheng hurriedly denied him:
“The doctor said your body isn’t ready for a craniotomy yet. You have to rest first, get your legs back to health, and then get into a good mental state. Late-stage or not, everything will get better. If we have to, weāll go abroad for treatment.”
Ji Songting must have shown him the medical records. To not even hide it… how heartless!
He had originally planned to wait until Jian Anās body was a bit better before mentioning the surgery for the brain hemorrhage, just because he was afraid the man’s spirit couldn’t handle one disaster after another.
But the youth only continued to shake his head, holding no hope for life at all. Large, hot tears fell and splashed onto his arm, his voice carrying a sob:
“I know my own illness. Itās no use. And… the surgery is very expensive. I don’t have any money, and I can’t afford the time. A craniotomy requires shaving your head. Thatās very ugly. For someone like me who works in art, itās very unsightly…”
“How is it ugly? My Xiao An is the best-looking.”
Shen Yunheng arched his brow and studied the face so close to him. His breath hitched as he pretended to be relaxed.
“And youāre just being silly. What am I here for? I have the money for the surgery. Just think of it as a loan from me, okay? When youāre healthy again, you can pay me back slowly. It doesn’t matter.”
If he offered it directly, given Jian Anās prideful personality, he certainly wouldn’t accept it; he would only slowly waste away.
At this thought, he pressed his forehead in frustration, hating his inability to make the man change his mind. He spoke with self-reproach:
“Iām also to blame for this. Iām sorry. If I had cared a bit more about you four years ago and insisted you get a full checkup, maybe there wouldn’t be these brain hemorrhage sequelae.”
Jian An pulled his hand back from the man’s warm palm, as if intentionally keeping his distance. He forced a smile.
“Yunheng, you don’t have to say sorry. You were just a friend. To be able to take me to the hospital, Iām already very grateful. Besides, the surgery is too expensive. I can’t pay it back.”
But the man half-kneeling by the bed grew clearly anxious at his refusal. He stood up instantly and said decisively:
“Xiao An, Iāll follow your lead on anything else, but you have to listen to me on this one, okay? This concerns your life. I can’t be negligent again, and I won’t let you go untreated!”
Just as Jian An was about to continue speaking, a tall black shadow suddenly walked in through the ward door. He looked momentarily dazed.
It wasn’t Ji Songting, which made him breathe a sigh of relief.
Shen Yunheng clearly noticed the footsteps behind him too. He spun around abruptly, his face full of surprise. He asked in a low voice:
“It’s you?”
Translatorās Note: Ugh, Ji Songting is really embodying that “possessive scum gong” energy right now. “The Ji family isn’t a place you can just come and go as you please” is such a classic line in this genre.
Also, the idiom Jian An uses, “Zhouguan fanghuo” (å·å®ę¾ē«), is a very famous one. The full saying is: “The officials are allowed to light fires, but the commoners are not allowed to light their lanterns.” It basically means “one rule for the powerful, and another for everyone else.” Heās calling out Ji Songtingās blatant double standards.
And finally, Ji Xiao (the father) refers to Jian An as his son’s “wife” (妻å). In Danmei, elders often use female-gendered terms for the spouse of their son to emphasize their role in the family hierarchy, even though Jian An is a man.
Recommended Reads
